How strange it is to think of you tonight...
Why his face keeps coming to the forefront of my mind, I don't know.
His perfect eyes looking at me, his awkward smile, and his odd number of freckles. Every detail of him that has been so lovingly etched into my memory is coming back full force. Why? Who knows?
I remember the way his lips felt like pillows on mine. His hands, a forceful yet gentle support resting on the small of my back. The soft strands of his hair would slide between my fingers while we kissed, and the tension in his back would melt under the pressure of my adoring hands.
I would have no shame treating him like a king if he'd just ask. If only, if only.
How wasteful I am being with my desires. I am spending them on a man who does not want me, does not love me. I am wasting them on a man who thought that I was not good enough. I am wasting them on a man who left me with nothing but false promises of friendship, who lied when he said he cared about me. I only spent but a small portion of what little life I have lived with him, and yet he became my world in an instant. How shameful. How frivolous of me to fret over him.
No tears have been or will be shed. No, I am no longer that girl. I am too tough, too strong, too ready to fight for myself. Tonight, for a reason unknown to me, I feel vulnerable and weak. The pieces of my memory that hold the precious moments we spent together have been scattered in front of me, and I have been forced to look.
These words, these words meant so much to me. I thought them to be true, and they were nothing but another promise left unfulfilled. Regardless, they are to be forever etched into my heart and my mind as a reminder that, despite the end of it all, he did love me. He loved me like I loved him.
"I will come back loving you. You know that. The seas won't change my mind."
I'm ready for some me time.
His perfect eyes looking at me, his awkward smile, and his odd number of freckles. Every detail of him that has been so lovingly etched into my memory is coming back full force. Why? Who knows?
I remember the way his lips felt like pillows on mine. His hands, a forceful yet gentle support resting on the small of my back. The soft strands of his hair would slide between my fingers while we kissed, and the tension in his back would melt under the pressure of my adoring hands.
I would have no shame treating him like a king if he'd just ask. If only, if only.
How wasteful I am being with my desires. I am spending them on a man who does not want me, does not love me. I am wasting them on a man who thought that I was not good enough. I am wasting them on a man who left me with nothing but false promises of friendship, who lied when he said he cared about me. I only spent but a small portion of what little life I have lived with him, and yet he became my world in an instant. How shameful. How frivolous of me to fret over him.
No tears have been or will be shed. No, I am no longer that girl. I am too tough, too strong, too ready to fight for myself. Tonight, for a reason unknown to me, I feel vulnerable and weak. The pieces of my memory that hold the precious moments we spent together have been scattered in front of me, and I have been forced to look.
These words, these words meant so much to me. I thought them to be true, and they were nothing but another promise left unfulfilled. Regardless, they are to be forever etched into my heart and my mind as a reminder that, despite the end of it all, he did love me. He loved me like I loved him.
"I will come back loving you. You know that. The seas won't change my mind."
I'm ready for some me time.