The Victim No Longer
It's funny the things you realize the older you get, and the lonelier you are. Just recently thrown back into the single life, I have realized so many things about myself, and it's only been 4 days..
I've realized that the last person I dated, I spent all of my time with them and their family. Now that they are out of my life, I am alone on a Friday night, not doing anything with anyone. I have realized that I have played the victim card all my life, and became very comfortable with it. I realized that I'm not a faithful friend, and that's why I don't have many friends in my life anymore. I have realized that all of the guy friends I have in my life, I have slept with. I realized that I will never be ok with my body, and maybe I'll accept that one day.
As far as the victim card, I really have no idea how to stop that. It has kind of been ingrained into my brain that misery loves company, and I was in need of company..
I want to enjoy life. I want to go on adventures. I want to have fun. I want to be messy. I want to own a dog. I want to work somewhere that I don't have to deal with people all the time. I want to wake up when my alarm goes off. I want to get day drunk and not be ashamed of it. I want to have extra money to buy my friends drinks and not worry about running out of money.
I want so much in my life, but haven't really done anything to make my life any better. It's a little sad, but it's eye opening at the same time. From this point on, I am going to do my best to try and make my life what I really want it to be.
Wish me luck.
I've realized that the last person I dated, I spent all of my time with them and their family. Now that they are out of my life, I am alone on a Friday night, not doing anything with anyone. I have realized that I have played the victim card all my life, and became very comfortable with it. I realized that I'm not a faithful friend, and that's why I don't have many friends in my life anymore. I have realized that all of the guy friends I have in my life, I have slept with. I realized that I will never be ok with my body, and maybe I'll accept that one day.
As far as the victim card, I really have no idea how to stop that. It has kind of been ingrained into my brain that misery loves company, and I was in need of company..
I want to enjoy life. I want to go on adventures. I want to have fun. I want to be messy. I want to own a dog. I want to work somewhere that I don't have to deal with people all the time. I want to wake up when my alarm goes off. I want to get day drunk and not be ashamed of it. I want to have extra money to buy my friends drinks and not worry about running out of money.
I want so much in my life, but haven't really done anything to make my life any better. It's a little sad, but it's eye opening at the same time. From this point on, I am going to do my best to try and make my life what I really want it to be.
Wish me luck.