Shenanigating
It's past 11pm on a Friday night and I'm curled up with Mikeyway in my bed. Laptop-Mikeyway of course, because if it was the real Mikeyway I wouldn't be posting, you know?
Earlier tonight Jac and I went to Asda. Trust me when I say that you probably don't ever want to supermarket shop with me and my sister together.
Or maybe you do?
One of the things we went for was to buy separate bins for recycling.
Me: *Spies a bin* Bin!
Jac: It's £50...
Me: What! £50? Who spends £50 on a bin?
Guy looking at bin: *Glares at me*
Me: *To guy* Well who does?
Jac: Stupid people
Guy: *Walks off*
Us: *Also walk off, by chance in the same direction as guy and therefore he can still hear us*
Jac: Maybe it's for when people really like their rubbish.
Me: Yeah - they place it lovingly inside.
Jac: Only the good rubbish.
Me: Their gold rubbish!
Guy: *Leaves household section*
Then we found the non-£50 bins:
Jac: *Spies pedal-bin* Pedal-bin?
Me: Nah - I hate them because it involves too much effort. *Mimes reaching to put something in a bin* See, you go to put something in by reaching over and can't. So then you have to get your leg involved *lifts up leg and balances* and then there are falling over possibilities *nearly falls over* See?
Jac: *laughs*
Me: And then there's the time when you do it the wrong way round and end up placing the rubbish on the top and then hit the pedal and thereby catapult the rubbish across the room by accident. *Shakes head sadly*
Jac: Um, I've never done that.
Me: Me either, but it sound fun! *Gets the pedal-bin out from the shelf and grabs a nearby scrubbing brush.* *Aims lid away, down the aisle* *Places brush on the top and makes to stomp on pedal*
Jac: \o/ Go on!
Me: *Pauses* *Apparently has 6th sense* No - I'll probably hit an Asda-worker.
Asda-worker: *Appears exactly where I would have hit if I'd actually done it*
Jac: Wow.
Me: Dude. *Puts bin back, giggling*
Later:
Me: *Spies pink-for-women car-stuff section* Oh my god
Jac: Jesus
Me: I have NO respect for any woman who would buy that stuff just because it's pink. And women who would are terrifying.
Jac: Paris Hilton would
Me: I rest my case.
Dude walking past: *Sniggers*
And at the checkout:
Me: Okay, I'll start unpacking the trolley and you go and grab some beer
Jac: Okay *positions trolley so I can't get at the conveyor*
Me: Bloody hell Bert *Moves trolley and manages to crash it into a DVD display from a standing start*
Me: *To checkout lady* Oh god - I fail at trolleys *laughs at self*
Checkout lady: *tumbleweed*
Me: *Starts unpacking shopping*
CL: *Fails to start scanning*
Me: *Unpacks more while now slightly weirded out by checkout lady who hasn't even acknowledged my existence*
CL: *Blinks*
Me: *Tries not to laugh to self like a crazy person as is now finding this the FUNNIEST thing EVER*
CL: *Tumbleweed*
Me: *Finishes putting shopping out and looks at checkout lady expectantly*
CL: *Tumbleweed*
Jac: *Returns* Hey
Me: *Beams as is still trying not to laugh* Do you want to start helping with the packing? *Finds this hilarious as nothing has yet even been scanned*
Jac: Takes up place at the end of the checkout and holds a bag expectantly*
CL: *Blinks slowly* ...would you like some help with your packing?
Me: *Dies*
That's not even mentioning the part where once she scanned the stuff, she seemed to be trying to place it as far away from Jac as possible. All the while I was trying not to giggle which kept making Jac laugh. APPARENTLY I AM INVISIBLE TO CHECKOUT LADIES EVEN WHEN I CRASH INTO DVD DISPLAYS! Should I use my powers for good or evil?
I love my sister - we really do just have far too much fun.
But I mean really - who wouldn't want to live with a person who responds to my crazy ideas like this:
Me: We totally need to go out on, like, a ninja mission soon. We can wear all black and take photos!
Jac: Oh my god YES! Let's go and see if we can freak out late-night petrol station attendants! *Thoughtful pause* I could wear that black shirt I bought last week...
So anyone who can get to Leeds in the next few weeks want to join us for a ninja-mission? strangecobwebs? Make sure you bring lots of black clothing. I have some black lipstick that I plan to use as camoflage make up. And my youngest sister is a drummer so we can totally use her drumsticks to make nunchucks. FTMFW.
Earlier tonight Jac and I went to Asda. Trust me when I say that you probably don't ever want to supermarket shop with me and my sister together.
Or maybe you do?
One of the things we went for was to buy separate bins for recycling.
Me: *Spies a bin* Bin!
Jac: It's £50...
Me: What! £50? Who spends £50 on a bin?
Guy looking at bin: *Glares at me*
Me: *To guy* Well who does?
Jac: Stupid people
Guy: *Walks off*
Us: *Also walk off, by chance in the same direction as guy and therefore he can still hear us*
Jac: Maybe it's for when people really like their rubbish.
Me: Yeah - they place it lovingly inside.
Jac: Only the good rubbish.
Me: Their gold rubbish!
Guy: *Leaves household section*
Then we found the non-£50 bins:
Jac: *Spies pedal-bin* Pedal-bin?
Me: Nah - I hate them because it involves too much effort. *Mimes reaching to put something in a bin* See, you go to put something in by reaching over and can't. So then you have to get your leg involved *lifts up leg and balances* and then there are falling over possibilities *nearly falls over* See?
Jac: *laughs*
Me: And then there's the time when you do it the wrong way round and end up placing the rubbish on the top and then hit the pedal and thereby catapult the rubbish across the room by accident. *Shakes head sadly*
Jac: Um, I've never done that.
Me: Me either, but it sound fun! *Gets the pedal-bin out from the shelf and grabs a nearby scrubbing brush.* *Aims lid away, down the aisle* *Places brush on the top and makes to stomp on pedal*
Jac: \o/ Go on!
Me: *Pauses* *Apparently has 6th sense* No - I'll probably hit an Asda-worker.
Asda-worker: *Appears exactly where I would have hit if I'd actually done it*
Jac: Wow.
Me: Dude. *Puts bin back, giggling*
Later:
Me: *Spies pink-for-women car-stuff section* Oh my god
Jac: Jesus
Me: I have NO respect for any woman who would buy that stuff just because it's pink. And women who would are terrifying.
Jac: Paris Hilton would
Me: I rest my case.
Dude walking past: *Sniggers*
And at the checkout:
Me: Okay, I'll start unpacking the trolley and you go and grab some beer
Jac: Okay *positions trolley so I can't get at the conveyor*
Me: Bloody hell Bert *Moves trolley and manages to crash it into a DVD display from a standing start*
Me: *To checkout lady* Oh god - I fail at trolleys *laughs at self*
Checkout lady: *tumbleweed*
Me: *Starts unpacking shopping*
CL: *Fails to start scanning*
Me: *Unpacks more while now slightly weirded out by checkout lady who hasn't even acknowledged my existence*
CL: *Blinks*
Me: *Tries not to laugh to self like a crazy person as is now finding this the FUNNIEST thing EVER*
CL: *Tumbleweed*
Me: *Finishes putting shopping out and looks at checkout lady expectantly*
CL: *Tumbleweed*
Jac: *Returns* Hey
Me: *Beams as is still trying not to laugh* Do you want to start helping with the packing? *Finds this hilarious as nothing has yet even been scanned*
Jac: Takes up place at the end of the checkout and holds a bag expectantly*
CL: *Blinks slowly* ...would you like some help with your packing?
Me: *Dies*
That's not even mentioning the part where once she scanned the stuff, she seemed to be trying to place it as far away from Jac as possible. All the while I was trying not to giggle which kept making Jac laugh. APPARENTLY I AM INVISIBLE TO CHECKOUT LADIES EVEN WHEN I CRASH INTO DVD DISPLAYS! Should I use my powers for good or evil?
I love my sister - we really do just have far too much fun.
But I mean really - who wouldn't want to live with a person who responds to my crazy ideas like this:
Me: We totally need to go out on, like, a ninja mission soon. We can wear all black and take photos!
Jac: Oh my god YES! Let's go and see if we can freak out late-night petrol station attendants! *Thoughtful pause* I could wear that black shirt I bought last week...
So anyone who can get to Leeds in the next few weeks want to join us for a ninja-mission? strangecobwebs? Make sure you bring lots of black clothing. I have some black lipstick that I plan to use as camoflage make up. And my youngest sister is a drummer so we can totally use her drumsticks to make nunchucks. FTMFW.