Chapter Nine-- Part One
For some reason the writer in me doesn't want to split this chapter up into Chapter 9 and Chapter 10... so I will do Part One and Part Two.... (what's the difference? I really don't know...)
It's very long. This section is 12 pages long. And it's not done yet, but I figured I might as well get you all started.... since I don't think the whole thing would fit in one LJ post by the time I am done with it....
And after I post I will most likely do a small inspection for errors...but, alas, I'm too lazy to do thorough proof-reading... as usual. xDD
And, ugh, I just had to go put in all the spaces between paragraphs... Copy/Paste kept clumping it together.... -_-... So I hope I got all the spaces right...
Enjoy.
Chapter Nine- Part One
Atsushi had expected a long, lonely ride back to Tokyo. It didn’t work out that way.
In the beginning, the taxi ride was silent. Ariwara, who seemed to have been promoted from technician to Atsushi-Babysitter (lucky him), had been elected to go with him to the train station. During the whole ride, all the young man did was keep giving Atsushi sidelong, questioning glances that got on Atsushi’s already stressed nerves.
That was why Atsushi wasn’t very upset to discover that, due to his abrupt departure, Chiba had only been able to arrange one ticket for the Shinkansen and Atsushi would be traveling alone. No problem for Atsushi, but Ariwara did not seem pleased and ended up giving the ticket master a piece of his mind while Atsushi stood beside him feeling extremely awkward. He was just about to leave and sit down to wait, when he noticed something about the tickets that rested on the counter, waiting for Ariwara to hand over the money Atsushi knew Chiba must have given him.
The tickets were for regular seating and not Green. On principle Atsushi wouldn’t mind sitting in the economy class…it was just that it was easier for people to recognize him in the more crowded regular seating. He wasn’t in the mood for chatty anyone, let alone adoring fans. He knew it was antisocial-but he was antisocial, so that was really a non-issue.
So Atsushi felt compelled to point it out to the now rather flustered ticket master.
Needless to say, Ariwara was even less pleased than before. It took nearly ten minutes to get everything worked out so at least Atsushi had the correct seat, and Ariwara got the seat that was supposed to be Atsushi’s before.
It was far too much work in Atsushi’s opinion and at that moment he was extremely pleased to have someone else there to do it for him.
That didn’t mean he wasn’t happy to send Ariwara off to his own part of the train. He was more than willing to sit alone.
However, it just happened that, as the train was starting to leave and Atsushi believed that he would have an empty seat beside him (miracle that it was), a small, middle-aged woman plopped down in said empty seat and began to systematically drive him crazy the entire trip back to Tokyo. She had an army of bags with her, holding anything from food-which she offered him multiple times-to three different pairs of slippers to wear-none of which she actually put on. Never before in his life had Atsushi met a woman who could not stop talking. She even talked to herself on more than one occasion.
She was also thoroughly convinced that Atsushi was a woman (or at least he hoped that was the reason) and he suffered through an extremely long conversation (or monologue, as the case truly was) about the annoyance of long lines to the ladies room and the indignity of traditional style toilets.
He was not amused.
It didn’t help that he discovered the batteries in his CD player were dead.
Wonderful.
It was cold and damp when they finally arrived in Tokyo. By the time they disembarked the train and were trying to hail down a taxi, it started to rain. Atsushi stood under the dripping overhang outside the station while Ariwara braved the weather, his own travel bag flung over his head. Even under the shelter it was freezing and Atsushi folded his hands under his arms to keep them warm.
While he waited…the woman showed up and, recognizing him from the train, came over to complain about the wait for a taxi.
An interminable amount of time later, Ariwara managed to capture them a ride, but as Atsushi was about to climb in he turned around and saw the annoying woman standing alone…and-although knew he would regret it-he offered to share the taxi.
It was a bad idea on Atsushi’s end…but he did it anyway. Ariwara gave Atsushi a warm grin at his apparent generosity…but that smile soon faded as they were stuck in a small space with Annoying Woman.
To make matters worse, they ran into a traffic jam. It took over two hours to drop the woman off at her stop in front of a hotel that should have been about twenty minutes away. As she had told them in full detail, she was in town in order to help her niece with her wedding. She had even spent some of the time showing Atsushi fabric samples she had in her bag, asking what would make a nice dress for the reception. Apparently she could actually stay in the house with her brother and his daughter because she hated his wife and blah blah blah…
By the time she finally left-after nearly having a heart attack over the cost of the ride and Atsushi volunteered to pay the difference from her expected twenty minutes-it was all Atsushi could do to not pound his head against the very cold, hard window in the back seat.
“You’re much too kind for your own good,” Ariwara commented from his position in the front of the taxi.
Atsushi only groaned, letting his head fall against the window once with a thunk.
He didn’t move until they finally pulled up in front of his apartment building and his luggage was quickly removed from the trunk and taken into the building by the eager doorman. Only then did he crawl out of what had become a small, cramped but highly familiar place in the past few hours. It was still raining, but only a drizzle, so he stood on the curb and watched Ariwara pay the rather patient (or seemingly so) driver and send him on his way.
Atsushi closed his eyes to the cold rainy gray of Tokyo and sighed. He was home…but he didn’t feel like it. Wrapping his arms around himself, he dug his fingers into the cloth over his arms. That made things seem only a tiny bit warmer. He wasn’t surprised.
He must have looked rather wretched, because Ariwara was all concern when he finally turned around.
“Why are you standing in the rain? Isn’t it cold?” he asked in a gentle voice.
Atsushi knew he was being handled, but he was used to that. “It’s refreshing.” He opened one eye to look at Ariwara through his damp, bedraggled hair. “You don’t have to stick around, you know.”
Ariwara shrugged. “At least let me see you inside?”
Atsushi conceded without much fuss, because what was the harm? He didn’t know that as soon as he stepped inside the lobby he would suddenly have a minor, mental panic attack.
In fact, he barely noticed that, after he stopped abruptly just inside the door, Ariwara ended up nearly walking right into him. All he could think was that this had been a stupid idea. He was leading that vampiric bastard right to his own home. That’s the last place he wanted to meet such a…thing.
And here he would be by himself… Sure, he’d wanted to be away from Imai and the others, but he didn’t want to be…alone.
“Sakurai-san?” Ariwara spoke up somewhere behind Atsushi’s right shoulder.
Atsushi stared out at the familiar walls of the lobby and had the sudden urge to turn around and just run.
“Sakurai-san!” Ariwara sounded rather concerned now. “Is something wrong?”
The other man’s tone of voice finally broke through Atsushi’s wild thoughts. He blinked down at the shorter man, who had circled around to stand in front of Atsushi, who noticed that the other man’s glasses were still spotted with water…
“Hmm?” Atsushi asked, trying to seem unconcerned.
Ariwara was visibly thrown by Atsushi’s apparent nonchalance. “Err… is there something wrong? I don’t mean to sound rude, but stopping in the doorway…”
Atsushi looked away, not knowing how to answer…then he caught sight of one of the magazines so artfully arranged on the nearby table…
“Do you want to go to an onsen with me?” Atsushi had no idea where that had come from. It had just blurted out on its own, as if his mind had no connection to his mouth at all… But that seemed like a good idea… He needed to relax and he didn’t exactly want to be by himself…
Ariwara fidgeted, averting his eyes quickly. “Euh…I’m honored, but…I don’t know…”
Atsushi tilted his head to one side, studying Ariwara. “It’s all right to say no,” he said softly, even as his heart began to pound just a bit in panic…
“It’s just awful sudden…”
“I’m not asking you on a date, Ariwara-san,” Atsushi remarked dryly.
Ariwara bit his lip. “Ah…that’s not it, Sakurai-san. It’s just that really should return to my own place now that we’re in Tokyo… because, well, my girlfriend…”
“Ah. I see.” Atsushi smiled slyly. “You called her this morning didn’t you?” Atsushi wasn’t about to say that he was surprised that Ariwara had a girlfriend-that would be rather too rude.
Ariwara tugged on his ear. A rather obvious display of embarrassment if Atsushi had ever seen one. “Err…yeah.”
“Well, she wouldn’t be interested in joining us, would she?”
Ariwara eyes darted from Atsushi’s face to his shoes and back up again, an unreadable expression on his face. The infamous not-very-subtle onceover. Before he even said a word Atsushi knew what the answer would be. Atsushi’s reputation with women preceded him it seemed…
“Never mind,” Atsushi told Ariwara with a wave of his hand. He tried a smile, but gave up after a moment. He was sure it looked like a grimace. “Go and have fun. “
Ariwara actually blushed in shame. “Err….thank you for the offer, Sakurai-san. I really appreciate it and-“
“Yes, I know. It’s all right.” After a few last minute “thank you”s, “I’m sorry”s and “Do you need anything else”s, Ariwara was finally gone, venturing out into the still drizzling rain one last time.
Atsushi remained in the lobby doorway feeling very pathetic.
Someone cleared their throat ever-so-politely behind him. “Ah, Sakurai-san, would you like your luggage taken upstairs?”
Atsushi turned around to find the doorman standing there in his perfectly pressed uniform and gloves. Seeing that he had Atsushi’s attention, he gestured towards the polished elevators, where Atsushi’s suitcases sat.
“Actually…no. I’m leaving again in a minute.”
And he was. He was going to the onsen by himself then. Anything was better than being here… Who said he couldn’t relax before some madman tried to kill him? At least his skin would be really clean…
Some of Atsushi’s morbid amusement must have shown on his face, because the doorman looked distinctly uncomfortable. “Yes sir… Are you taking you car, or would you like another taxi?”
An even better idea. Speeding down the road, just him and road… that wasn’t so lonely, was it?
Atsushi knew he was lying to himself, but that wouldn’t be the first time.
Less than ten minutes later Atsushi had called and made a reservation as his normal place (it was easier to get in on short notice that way), and was out of there and out on the road. He’d tried to call Chiba at the last moment, let him know that Atsushi wouldn’t be home, but no one had answered the hotel phone, so that was that.
He did give the man at the desk permission to let Chiba know if he called though. That was the best he wanted to do at the time.
Atsushi grumbled to himself was he was forced to downshift because of the traffic. Tokyo streets always had a way to bring down one’s mood. Thankfully after getting free of the congestion the trip would be rather scenic.
He had the windows down about halfway and rain was pattering against his hands and face as the traffic finally got moving again. It took some fighting to get his hair under control, but he managed. Something was playing on the radio, but he couldn’t really hear it over the wind noise. But that was all right. It was easier to just focus on the mechanics of shifting and steering…nothing more than that.
At one of the stoplights the business men in the taxi next to him ended up staring. Atsushi glared at them sidelong, and the two in the back seemed to get rather flustered. The one in the front seat just continued to stare though, mouth open a little.
Atsushi would have found that rather amusing except for the fact that he was now certain that the poor bastards would go home and fantasize about the hot chick in the sleek black sports car. That was a tad disturbing.
Damn gender stereotypes.
He left the taxi far behind as soon as the light changed. It was a test of skill to weave his way through the other cars, but not impossible. The other drivers no doubt were unappreciative of his efforts, but he didn’t hit anything and that’s all that mattered.
It was pouring rain by the time he made it outside of Tokyo. He was forced to put the windows up unless his upholstery became a soggy mess. Actually, what he had expected to be a scenic, relaxing ride became absolutely nerve-wracking as the water began to come down in sheets and he could barely see through the windshield.
“What the hell…” he grumbled, leaning forward and squinting as if that would help. He hadn’t heard a thing about a typhoon… He took the chance to adjust the radio…but there was nothing about a typhoon. The rain must not have been falling hard enough. It needed to be so that he couldn’t even see his windshield wipers to be a typhoon, it seemed.
Lovely. Atsushi had the urge to turn the radio off out of spite, but thought better of it.
It was a very stressful two hour drive through gentle curving roads until he got in the high terrain…where the wind began to howl and beat against the outside of the car.
“Remind me why I’m here again…” he said aloud to no one in particular.
Although he did feel somewhat better when he passed another idiot out on the road. After he’d gotten over the fright of headlights almost in his lane, that is. That was a bit of a tricky situation… thankfully the other driver noticed the same time he did.
He felt so much better that he began to laugh…and laugh. Hell, this was insane.
“The weather will get to me first!” Atsushi giggled to the empty space around him. It was absurd and he was still laughing.
His spontaneous visit to giggling insanity was what forced him to finally pull over on what would have been a rather nice scenic overlook if he could see whatever the little path of gravel was overlooking. As it was he was too busy laughing, his head falling forward to thump against the steering wheel. His hands, white-knuckled on the wheel, tightened even further until he thought they would snap.
He just kept laughing until his eyes began to tear and his diaphragm ached. At last he began to calm down, taking choppy hiccupping breaths. Still trying to get his breath back he lifted his head, before letting it thump back against the wheel again. He only did that once-he might be a bit insane, but he wasn’t about the bash his head open on a leather steering wheel. Far too messy.
“Maybe I am suicidal,” he whispered to the quiet.
For one brief second he expected an answer…for some random man/creature/dead being to just pop up out of nowhere as they had been doing for the past few days and say “Why, no you aren’t. You’re just crazy!”
Naturally, the one time he expected it no such thing happened. It was just him alone on the side of the road in the pounding rain. It was so loud in the confined space…
Atsushi lifted his head abruptly, realizing in that instant that he was very much by himself on the side of an abandoned road. Not his best decision.
He turned in his seat to look out every widow he could see…nothing but rain-drenched road. But at least he could see the road now. He must have been having his little mental…issue for longer than he’d thought.
There was nothing else to do but go forward. He’d made the reservation, and the hotel was at the most perhaps half an hour away, while Tokyo was rather out of the way…
So it was that an externally-calm but internally-rattled Atsushi finally made it to the quaint little building he had visited so many times. As soon as he pulled up one of the hosts appeared at the door under an umbrella that kept threatening to blow away in the still strong winds.
Despite this he walked up to the car and greeted Atsushi with a practiced bow and a welcoming smile. “I am pleased that you made it safely.”
Atsushi struggled to smile. “So am I.”
One of the house boys came out to act as valet. The teen had seen Atsushi and his car enough not to even give both a second glance. He just bowed before taking the keys. No doubt that if he couldn’t find a spot in the small lot beside the building one of the employees would have to come out and move their car. Atsushi felt somewhat bad about that, but that was how good customer service worked he supposed.
Although at this moment the teen could park Atsushi’s car in the stream nearby for all he cared. He just wanted to get inside.
Despite the chaotic weather outside it was as neat, clean and calm inside, as usual. The familiar surroundings with its beautiful stone entryway, warm wooden walls, and multiple beautiful flower arrangements were already beginning to soothe his rattled nerves.
The hostess, a middle-aged woman in kimono, was there to greet him. “Sakurai-san, it is a pleasure to see you again.”
Atsushi returned her bow with a respectful one of his own. After all Minamoto-san put up with when it came to Atsushi and his variety of…women friends, he couldn’t afford not to show her respect.
“Ah, so it is Sakurai-san and…” she paused a moment, looking beyond his shoulder as if she expected to see a little woman come trudging in behind him. Not a terribly far-fetched idea.
“Only Sakurai-san, I’m afraid,” Atsushi replied with a quirk of a smile.
The shock flashed across her face so quickly Atsushi almost didn’t see it. But she couldn’t hide the tiny peal of laughter that escaped. “Ah, don’t look so downtrodden Sakurai-san.” She teased with a smile. “I suppose everyone needs time off now and then.”
Atsushi smiled fondly despite his sour mood. Minamoto-san, although older than Atsushi’s own mother would have been, was still rather skilled in the art of aimless flirting. It was easy for many to not notice this because of her pressed kimono and prim hairstyle, but she really was a delightful woman. And it was always nice to know a woman one could just be friends with…and that was that.
It was a bit of a struggle for Atsushi to get his shoes off while standing in the entryway, because they were new and tied rather tightly, but he’d had practice with that before. Minamoto-san stood up on the raised floor above him with a smile that was threatening to turn into a smirk. “I never knew you did contortions.”
“If you think these are contortions…” he trailed off and glanced up at her, eyebrows raised suggestively. He didn’t think the suave effect worked very well considering he was still balancing on only one foot and had his fingers tangled in his shoelaces.
Minamoto-san’s brows rose as well, but sardonically. “Not even in your slippers yet and you’re causing trouble.”
Atsushi laughed and tried to hide the fact that he was blushing a little. He had caused this poor woman more than enough trouble over the years. Not intentionally…but things didn’t always go as planned.
Atsushi managed to get free of his footwear and step up into the house slippers that were brought out for him by one of the young female attendants, who didn’t even look up and scurried away immediately after picking up the shoes he’d left behind.
“Like a little mouse,” Minamoto-san commented, reading Atsushi’s expression accurately. “They are most likely squeaking their little girly giggles back there,” she commented, gesturing to the curtain to the side of the room where the young woman had disappeared.
Minamoto-san lead Atsushi to a low table to the side of the room and had him sit down. She disappeared for a moment behind the curtain. While she was gone the boy from before finally brought in the luggage and he walked right past Atsushi and into the depth of the hotel, already knowing where it would go.
The host from before came inside soon after. He was the one to give Atsushi back his keys. He was still there when the girl from before came out with the standardized tea for the guest and they both were witness to her blushing and almost spilling hot water on herself. She looked absolutely mortified as she pulled a cloth from her obi and started to mop up the table.
The host-Atsushi was sure his name was also Minamoto-apologized for his staff’s clumsiness most profusely, but Atsushi assured him it was fine. The young woman blushed even more. She was apparently new, if her reaction meant anything.
Atsushi smiled ruefully. This wasn’t a big enough or famous enough place to get famous visitors. That was one reason he liked it so. Of course, the flip side was reactions such as this…
Minamoto-san appeared from the back room then with papers in her hand and, taking in the scene immediately, sent the girl on her way. She then knelt down in the same spot. She finished pouring the tea and, after placing it down in front of Atsushi, set the papers on the table. But she didn’t start talking about them immediately. Instead it was time for small talk, something Atsushi usually found rather annoying and useless, but they knew each other well enough by now that it was more of a conversation than stilled pleasantries.
Sitting in the warmly lit room with hot tea and a friendly companion was enough for Atsushi to start to relax a bit, emotionally as well as physically. He didn’t even feel too guilty when a couple showed up at the front door (he must not have been the only insane person out in this weather) and Minamoto-san didn’t get up from her spot to greet them. It was up to the host and another of the more mature women attendants who worked there to do so. Normally it would be one of the attendant girls who would be talking with the guests as they drank their tea, not the hostess. Atsushi was a special case.
As it was, Minamoto-san gracefully interrupted their conversation and bowed very deeply as the new guests were lead to the other table and chair arrangement across the room and Atsushi could see them trying to see who was so important that she wouldn’t get up to greet them. Atsushi looked away, not wanting to be recognized. The chair was deep enough for him to hide in, and they weren’t exactly staring, so he figured it was good for now. Besides, he doubted he’d see them again-he usually reserved a private bath here to preserve anonymity, among other less polite reasons…
It was only once they were being taken care of by the attendant woman and were wrapped up in their own business that Minamoto-san stopped the small talk and got to business. Apparently she didn’t want to risk them eavesdropping. She collected the papers she had set on the table.
“I’ve arranged it all for you,” she told him plainly. “Two nights, standard room, reserved private bath, traditional dinner and breakfast. Nothing else has changed?”
Atsushi shook his head mutely, realizing just how predictable he was. Same thing every time.
Except for the fact that he was alone this time around. That was a big change.
Minamoto-san scribbled a few words down on the paper and then pushed it over to Atsushi. He only did a cursory scan of the information-this was all just routine by now. Read, hand it back, nod. Minamoto-san rose with practiced ease to her feet. “I will return in a moment and direct you to your room. Please take all the time you need.”
Atsushi glanced down at the table as she left to take the paperwork back to the office and saw that he did have some left. Not wanting to sit in the lobby any longer than necessary he drained it down and was waiting for her as soon as she returned.
The two of them shuffled down the hallway towards the hotel proper. One side of the hall was lined with windows looking out on what would have been a beautiful garden, but was now a rain-soaked blur through the glass.
The hallway opened up into another open, airy room, where he picked up the yukata for his stay there-simple black and white stripes. Nothing fancy.
Then it was finally the main part of the hotel, a long corridor with other halls branching out. They were hidden behind hanging half-curtains and spaced out between more windowed walls and garden views. There was a group of men sitting in one of the small sitting rooms dressed in the striped robes of this onsen who didn’t even look up as Minamoto-san led Atsushi by them. That was typical-once inside the hotel proper there was a general lack of acknowledgement of the other guests. People were there to enjoy themselves, not worry about others.
Minamoto-san led Atsushi down a hallway marked by its plum-colored curtain. They walked down the long curving hallway, past multiple rooms tucked behind wooden Western-style doors, and through a sliding door at the end. They stepped into a small room that contained the door to the private baths. They left that area and through another sliding door on the other side. His room was at the end of this much shorter hallway.
Minamoto-san unlocked the door and led the way in. They stepped into a small entry way where, up on the raised tatami floor was a small refrigerator and a door to the main room. She slipped out of her slippers and opened the refrigerator, showing the bottles inside. It was only water now, but there was enough room for liquor if he so required. She looked at him questioning then and Atsushi was a bit surprised when he hesitated a moment before nodding.
His “room” was actually two traditional rooms. One, the very first, was empty besides his waiting suitcase. The two sets of shoji doors were open to a slightly larger room straight ahead that held the low table and chairs, and open to the right on what would have once been an exterior walkway, but was now enclosed with glass. The entire effect was like walking into a world of yellow and brown with only Minamoto-san’s subdued blue kimono to offset it.
Minamoto-san led the way into the room with the table and pointed out the new television they had recently purchased. It was on a raised wooden platform next to the alcove that held a replica of an ancient kanji scroll. A bit of juxtaposition.
Minamoto-san crossed the larger room to open the shoji door at the end of it and revealed a little alcove with a door to the toilet and bathroom and explained how that had been updated as well. Atsushi just nodded, not really paying attention. He looked around himself at these traditional walls and all he could remember was the damn hotel he had just left…
Atsushi didn’t even notice Minamoto-san again until she was suddenly right next to him and clearing her throat politely. Startled out of his thoughts his head jerked down to look at her.
There was a knowing smile on her face-but Atsushi was sure she didn’t know exactly what he was thinking. She could never imagine. “If you need anything else, please call the front desk. I hope you enjoy your stay here Sakurai-san.” She bowed deeply before placing the key on the tabletop and leaving.
Atsushi watched her go, feeling the silence piling into the room before she even finished closing the door. He had the insane urge to call her back in, make her sit with him and entertain him for the evening, but he couldn’t do that. That wasn’t her job. It was more than enough that she’d escorted him to the room.
Once again he couldn’t help but feel that this had all been a stupid idea. In fact, the whole day had been full of stupid ideas. He wished it could all be rewound… just let him wake up in the hotel bed again…and stay there. If he stayed asleep he wouldn’t have to worry about making decisions.
Standing in the center of the room he looked around at the pristine walls and realized just how quiet it really was. Even the rain seemed to be muted behind the glass, the dark clouds outside masking any hint of sunlight to bring cheer to the beautifully sterile room. There were overhead lights, but they seemed so dim…
There was a moment of such complete stillness that it felt like the world had stopped and it was just him in this silent sanctuary… and then he sighed, scrubbing his hands over his face and cursing his own sense of…imagination? Derangement? He wasn’t sure.
What he really wanted to do in that moment was just curl up in bed and…well, hide. But the bedding was stored away at the moment and he knew he could call and have it lain out, but…
Atsushi sighed. The sound seemed so loud. One of his hands began to play with the long hair that spilled over his shoulder, fingers picking at the strands and he forced himself to stop. That only caused split ends.
What he need now, he realized with a sudden clarity, was a cigarette. There had to be some in his travel bag…
Moving easily now that he had a destination-no matter how trivial-in mind now, he hurried into the other room and picked up the familiar black bag and began to rummage around. There they were…right next to a familiar envelope.
Atsushi stopped and stared, holding the bag open with both hands feeling some apprehensive...maybe even afraid to get near that cursed thing.
He didn’t remember putting the book in that bag, but he must have shoved it there in his haste to pack.
It was with a sort of fascinated trepidation that he pulled it out now, letting the bag fall to the floor as he stared at the envelope in his hand…and then without realizing he’d moved, the book was in view in his other hand, those cursed words staring up at him accusingly.
It was in that quiet, solemn sanctuary that he decided to read it.
And he did.
Part Two
It's very long. This section is 12 pages long. And it's not done yet, but I figured I might as well get you all started.... since I don't think the whole thing would fit in one LJ post by the time I am done with it....
And after I post I will most likely do a small inspection for errors...but, alas, I'm too lazy to do thorough proof-reading... as usual. xDD
And, ugh, I just had to go put in all the spaces between paragraphs... Copy/Paste kept clumping it together.... -_-... So I hope I got all the spaces right...
Enjoy.
Chapter Nine- Part One
Atsushi had expected a long, lonely ride back to Tokyo. It didn’t work out that way.
In the beginning, the taxi ride was silent. Ariwara, who seemed to have been promoted from technician to Atsushi-Babysitter (lucky him), had been elected to go with him to the train station. During the whole ride, all the young man did was keep giving Atsushi sidelong, questioning glances that got on Atsushi’s already stressed nerves.
That was why Atsushi wasn’t very upset to discover that, due to his abrupt departure, Chiba had only been able to arrange one ticket for the Shinkansen and Atsushi would be traveling alone. No problem for Atsushi, but Ariwara did not seem pleased and ended up giving the ticket master a piece of his mind while Atsushi stood beside him feeling extremely awkward. He was just about to leave and sit down to wait, when he noticed something about the tickets that rested on the counter, waiting for Ariwara to hand over the money Atsushi knew Chiba must have given him.
The tickets were for regular seating and not Green. On principle Atsushi wouldn’t mind sitting in the economy class…it was just that it was easier for people to recognize him in the more crowded regular seating. He wasn’t in the mood for chatty anyone, let alone adoring fans. He knew it was antisocial-but he was antisocial, so that was really a non-issue.
So Atsushi felt compelled to point it out to the now rather flustered ticket master.
Needless to say, Ariwara was even less pleased than before. It took nearly ten minutes to get everything worked out so at least Atsushi had the correct seat, and Ariwara got the seat that was supposed to be Atsushi’s before.
It was far too much work in Atsushi’s opinion and at that moment he was extremely pleased to have someone else there to do it for him.
That didn’t mean he wasn’t happy to send Ariwara off to his own part of the train. He was more than willing to sit alone.
However, it just happened that, as the train was starting to leave and Atsushi believed that he would have an empty seat beside him (miracle that it was), a small, middle-aged woman plopped down in said empty seat and began to systematically drive him crazy the entire trip back to Tokyo. She had an army of bags with her, holding anything from food-which she offered him multiple times-to three different pairs of slippers to wear-none of which she actually put on. Never before in his life had Atsushi met a woman who could not stop talking. She even talked to herself on more than one occasion.
She was also thoroughly convinced that Atsushi was a woman (or at least he hoped that was the reason) and he suffered through an extremely long conversation (or monologue, as the case truly was) about the annoyance of long lines to the ladies room and the indignity of traditional style toilets.
He was not amused.
It didn’t help that he discovered the batteries in his CD player were dead.
Wonderful.
It was cold and damp when they finally arrived in Tokyo. By the time they disembarked the train and were trying to hail down a taxi, it started to rain. Atsushi stood under the dripping overhang outside the station while Ariwara braved the weather, his own travel bag flung over his head. Even under the shelter it was freezing and Atsushi folded his hands under his arms to keep them warm.
While he waited…the woman showed up and, recognizing him from the train, came over to complain about the wait for a taxi.
An interminable amount of time later, Ariwara managed to capture them a ride, but as Atsushi was about to climb in he turned around and saw the annoying woman standing alone…and-although knew he would regret it-he offered to share the taxi.
It was a bad idea on Atsushi’s end…but he did it anyway. Ariwara gave Atsushi a warm grin at his apparent generosity…but that smile soon faded as they were stuck in a small space with Annoying Woman.
To make matters worse, they ran into a traffic jam. It took over two hours to drop the woman off at her stop in front of a hotel that should have been about twenty minutes away. As she had told them in full detail, she was in town in order to help her niece with her wedding. She had even spent some of the time showing Atsushi fabric samples she had in her bag, asking what would make a nice dress for the reception. Apparently she could actually stay in the house with her brother and his daughter because she hated his wife and blah blah blah…
By the time she finally left-after nearly having a heart attack over the cost of the ride and Atsushi volunteered to pay the difference from her expected twenty minutes-it was all Atsushi could do to not pound his head against the very cold, hard window in the back seat.
“You’re much too kind for your own good,” Ariwara commented from his position in the front of the taxi.
Atsushi only groaned, letting his head fall against the window once with a thunk.
He didn’t move until they finally pulled up in front of his apartment building and his luggage was quickly removed from the trunk and taken into the building by the eager doorman. Only then did he crawl out of what had become a small, cramped but highly familiar place in the past few hours. It was still raining, but only a drizzle, so he stood on the curb and watched Ariwara pay the rather patient (or seemingly so) driver and send him on his way.
Atsushi closed his eyes to the cold rainy gray of Tokyo and sighed. He was home…but he didn’t feel like it. Wrapping his arms around himself, he dug his fingers into the cloth over his arms. That made things seem only a tiny bit warmer. He wasn’t surprised.
He must have looked rather wretched, because Ariwara was all concern when he finally turned around.
“Why are you standing in the rain? Isn’t it cold?” he asked in a gentle voice.
Atsushi knew he was being handled, but he was used to that. “It’s refreshing.” He opened one eye to look at Ariwara through his damp, bedraggled hair. “You don’t have to stick around, you know.”
Ariwara shrugged. “At least let me see you inside?”
Atsushi conceded without much fuss, because what was the harm? He didn’t know that as soon as he stepped inside the lobby he would suddenly have a minor, mental panic attack.
In fact, he barely noticed that, after he stopped abruptly just inside the door, Ariwara ended up nearly walking right into him. All he could think was that this had been a stupid idea. He was leading that vampiric bastard right to his own home. That’s the last place he wanted to meet such a…thing.
And here he would be by himself… Sure, he’d wanted to be away from Imai and the others, but he didn’t want to be…alone.
“Sakurai-san?” Ariwara spoke up somewhere behind Atsushi’s right shoulder.
Atsushi stared out at the familiar walls of the lobby and had the sudden urge to turn around and just run.
“Sakurai-san!” Ariwara sounded rather concerned now. “Is something wrong?”
The other man’s tone of voice finally broke through Atsushi’s wild thoughts. He blinked down at the shorter man, who had circled around to stand in front of Atsushi, who noticed that the other man’s glasses were still spotted with water…
“Hmm?” Atsushi asked, trying to seem unconcerned.
Ariwara was visibly thrown by Atsushi’s apparent nonchalance. “Err… is there something wrong? I don’t mean to sound rude, but stopping in the doorway…”
Atsushi looked away, not knowing how to answer…then he caught sight of one of the magazines so artfully arranged on the nearby table…
“Do you want to go to an onsen with me?” Atsushi had no idea where that had come from. It had just blurted out on its own, as if his mind had no connection to his mouth at all… But that seemed like a good idea… He needed to relax and he didn’t exactly want to be by himself…
Ariwara fidgeted, averting his eyes quickly. “Euh…I’m honored, but…I don’t know…”
Atsushi tilted his head to one side, studying Ariwara. “It’s all right to say no,” he said softly, even as his heart began to pound just a bit in panic…
“It’s just awful sudden…”
“I’m not asking you on a date, Ariwara-san,” Atsushi remarked dryly.
Ariwara bit his lip. “Ah…that’s not it, Sakurai-san. It’s just that really should return to my own place now that we’re in Tokyo… because, well, my girlfriend…”
“Ah. I see.” Atsushi smiled slyly. “You called her this morning didn’t you?” Atsushi wasn’t about to say that he was surprised that Ariwara had a girlfriend-that would be rather too rude.
Ariwara tugged on his ear. A rather obvious display of embarrassment if Atsushi had ever seen one. “Err…yeah.”
“Well, she wouldn’t be interested in joining us, would she?”
Ariwara eyes darted from Atsushi’s face to his shoes and back up again, an unreadable expression on his face. The infamous not-very-subtle onceover. Before he even said a word Atsushi knew what the answer would be. Atsushi’s reputation with women preceded him it seemed…
“Never mind,” Atsushi told Ariwara with a wave of his hand. He tried a smile, but gave up after a moment. He was sure it looked like a grimace. “Go and have fun. “
Ariwara actually blushed in shame. “Err….thank you for the offer, Sakurai-san. I really appreciate it and-“
“Yes, I know. It’s all right.” After a few last minute “thank you”s, “I’m sorry”s and “Do you need anything else”s, Ariwara was finally gone, venturing out into the still drizzling rain one last time.
Atsushi remained in the lobby doorway feeling very pathetic.
Someone cleared their throat ever-so-politely behind him. “Ah, Sakurai-san, would you like your luggage taken upstairs?”
Atsushi turned around to find the doorman standing there in his perfectly pressed uniform and gloves. Seeing that he had Atsushi’s attention, he gestured towards the polished elevators, where Atsushi’s suitcases sat.
“Actually…no. I’m leaving again in a minute.”
And he was. He was going to the onsen by himself then. Anything was better than being here… Who said he couldn’t relax before some madman tried to kill him? At least his skin would be really clean…
Some of Atsushi’s morbid amusement must have shown on his face, because the doorman looked distinctly uncomfortable. “Yes sir… Are you taking you car, or would you like another taxi?”
An even better idea. Speeding down the road, just him and road… that wasn’t so lonely, was it?
Atsushi knew he was lying to himself, but that wouldn’t be the first time.
Less than ten minutes later Atsushi had called and made a reservation as his normal place (it was easier to get in on short notice that way), and was out of there and out on the road. He’d tried to call Chiba at the last moment, let him know that Atsushi wouldn’t be home, but no one had answered the hotel phone, so that was that.
He did give the man at the desk permission to let Chiba know if he called though. That was the best he wanted to do at the time.
Atsushi grumbled to himself was he was forced to downshift because of the traffic. Tokyo streets always had a way to bring down one’s mood. Thankfully after getting free of the congestion the trip would be rather scenic.
He had the windows down about halfway and rain was pattering against his hands and face as the traffic finally got moving again. It took some fighting to get his hair under control, but he managed. Something was playing on the radio, but he couldn’t really hear it over the wind noise. But that was all right. It was easier to just focus on the mechanics of shifting and steering…nothing more than that.
At one of the stoplights the business men in the taxi next to him ended up staring. Atsushi glared at them sidelong, and the two in the back seemed to get rather flustered. The one in the front seat just continued to stare though, mouth open a little.
Atsushi would have found that rather amusing except for the fact that he was now certain that the poor bastards would go home and fantasize about the hot chick in the sleek black sports car. That was a tad disturbing.
Damn gender stereotypes.
He left the taxi far behind as soon as the light changed. It was a test of skill to weave his way through the other cars, but not impossible. The other drivers no doubt were unappreciative of his efforts, but he didn’t hit anything and that’s all that mattered.
It was pouring rain by the time he made it outside of Tokyo. He was forced to put the windows up unless his upholstery became a soggy mess. Actually, what he had expected to be a scenic, relaxing ride became absolutely nerve-wracking as the water began to come down in sheets and he could barely see through the windshield.
“What the hell…” he grumbled, leaning forward and squinting as if that would help. He hadn’t heard a thing about a typhoon… He took the chance to adjust the radio…but there was nothing about a typhoon. The rain must not have been falling hard enough. It needed to be so that he couldn’t even see his windshield wipers to be a typhoon, it seemed.
Lovely. Atsushi had the urge to turn the radio off out of spite, but thought better of it.
It was a very stressful two hour drive through gentle curving roads until he got in the high terrain…where the wind began to howl and beat against the outside of the car.
“Remind me why I’m here again…” he said aloud to no one in particular.
Although he did feel somewhat better when he passed another idiot out on the road. After he’d gotten over the fright of headlights almost in his lane, that is. That was a bit of a tricky situation… thankfully the other driver noticed the same time he did.
He felt so much better that he began to laugh…and laugh. Hell, this was insane.
“The weather will get to me first!” Atsushi giggled to the empty space around him. It was absurd and he was still laughing.
His spontaneous visit to giggling insanity was what forced him to finally pull over on what would have been a rather nice scenic overlook if he could see whatever the little path of gravel was overlooking. As it was he was too busy laughing, his head falling forward to thump against the steering wheel. His hands, white-knuckled on the wheel, tightened even further until he thought they would snap.
He just kept laughing until his eyes began to tear and his diaphragm ached. At last he began to calm down, taking choppy hiccupping breaths. Still trying to get his breath back he lifted his head, before letting it thump back against the wheel again. He only did that once-he might be a bit insane, but he wasn’t about the bash his head open on a leather steering wheel. Far too messy.
“Maybe I am suicidal,” he whispered to the quiet.
For one brief second he expected an answer…for some random man/creature/dead being to just pop up out of nowhere as they had been doing for the past few days and say “Why, no you aren’t. You’re just crazy!”
Naturally, the one time he expected it no such thing happened. It was just him alone on the side of the road in the pounding rain. It was so loud in the confined space…
Atsushi lifted his head abruptly, realizing in that instant that he was very much by himself on the side of an abandoned road. Not his best decision.
He turned in his seat to look out every widow he could see…nothing but rain-drenched road. But at least he could see the road now. He must have been having his little mental…issue for longer than he’d thought.
There was nothing else to do but go forward. He’d made the reservation, and the hotel was at the most perhaps half an hour away, while Tokyo was rather out of the way…
So it was that an externally-calm but internally-rattled Atsushi finally made it to the quaint little building he had visited so many times. As soon as he pulled up one of the hosts appeared at the door under an umbrella that kept threatening to blow away in the still strong winds.
Despite this he walked up to the car and greeted Atsushi with a practiced bow and a welcoming smile. “I am pleased that you made it safely.”
Atsushi struggled to smile. “So am I.”
One of the house boys came out to act as valet. The teen had seen Atsushi and his car enough not to even give both a second glance. He just bowed before taking the keys. No doubt that if he couldn’t find a spot in the small lot beside the building one of the employees would have to come out and move their car. Atsushi felt somewhat bad about that, but that was how good customer service worked he supposed.
Although at this moment the teen could park Atsushi’s car in the stream nearby for all he cared. He just wanted to get inside.
Despite the chaotic weather outside it was as neat, clean and calm inside, as usual. The familiar surroundings with its beautiful stone entryway, warm wooden walls, and multiple beautiful flower arrangements were already beginning to soothe his rattled nerves.
The hostess, a middle-aged woman in kimono, was there to greet him. “Sakurai-san, it is a pleasure to see you again.”
Atsushi returned her bow with a respectful one of his own. After all Minamoto-san put up with when it came to Atsushi and his variety of…women friends, he couldn’t afford not to show her respect.
“Ah, so it is Sakurai-san and…” she paused a moment, looking beyond his shoulder as if she expected to see a little woman come trudging in behind him. Not a terribly far-fetched idea.
“Only Sakurai-san, I’m afraid,” Atsushi replied with a quirk of a smile.
The shock flashed across her face so quickly Atsushi almost didn’t see it. But she couldn’t hide the tiny peal of laughter that escaped. “Ah, don’t look so downtrodden Sakurai-san.” She teased with a smile. “I suppose everyone needs time off now and then.”
Atsushi smiled fondly despite his sour mood. Minamoto-san, although older than Atsushi’s own mother would have been, was still rather skilled in the art of aimless flirting. It was easy for many to not notice this because of her pressed kimono and prim hairstyle, but she really was a delightful woman. And it was always nice to know a woman one could just be friends with…and that was that.
It was a bit of a struggle for Atsushi to get his shoes off while standing in the entryway, because they were new and tied rather tightly, but he’d had practice with that before. Minamoto-san stood up on the raised floor above him with a smile that was threatening to turn into a smirk. “I never knew you did contortions.”
“If you think these are contortions…” he trailed off and glanced up at her, eyebrows raised suggestively. He didn’t think the suave effect worked very well considering he was still balancing on only one foot and had his fingers tangled in his shoelaces.
Minamoto-san’s brows rose as well, but sardonically. “Not even in your slippers yet and you’re causing trouble.”
Atsushi laughed and tried to hide the fact that he was blushing a little. He had caused this poor woman more than enough trouble over the years. Not intentionally…but things didn’t always go as planned.
Atsushi managed to get free of his footwear and step up into the house slippers that were brought out for him by one of the young female attendants, who didn’t even look up and scurried away immediately after picking up the shoes he’d left behind.
“Like a little mouse,” Minamoto-san commented, reading Atsushi’s expression accurately. “They are most likely squeaking their little girly giggles back there,” she commented, gesturing to the curtain to the side of the room where the young woman had disappeared.
Minamoto-san lead Atsushi to a low table to the side of the room and had him sit down. She disappeared for a moment behind the curtain. While she was gone the boy from before finally brought in the luggage and he walked right past Atsushi and into the depth of the hotel, already knowing where it would go.
The host from before came inside soon after. He was the one to give Atsushi back his keys. He was still there when the girl from before came out with the standardized tea for the guest and they both were witness to her blushing and almost spilling hot water on herself. She looked absolutely mortified as she pulled a cloth from her obi and started to mop up the table.
The host-Atsushi was sure his name was also Minamoto-apologized for his staff’s clumsiness most profusely, but Atsushi assured him it was fine. The young woman blushed even more. She was apparently new, if her reaction meant anything.
Atsushi smiled ruefully. This wasn’t a big enough or famous enough place to get famous visitors. That was one reason he liked it so. Of course, the flip side was reactions such as this…
Minamoto-san appeared from the back room then with papers in her hand and, taking in the scene immediately, sent the girl on her way. She then knelt down in the same spot. She finished pouring the tea and, after placing it down in front of Atsushi, set the papers on the table. But she didn’t start talking about them immediately. Instead it was time for small talk, something Atsushi usually found rather annoying and useless, but they knew each other well enough by now that it was more of a conversation than stilled pleasantries.
Sitting in the warmly lit room with hot tea and a friendly companion was enough for Atsushi to start to relax a bit, emotionally as well as physically. He didn’t even feel too guilty when a couple showed up at the front door (he must not have been the only insane person out in this weather) and Minamoto-san didn’t get up from her spot to greet them. It was up to the host and another of the more mature women attendants who worked there to do so. Normally it would be one of the attendant girls who would be talking with the guests as they drank their tea, not the hostess. Atsushi was a special case.
As it was, Minamoto-san gracefully interrupted their conversation and bowed very deeply as the new guests were lead to the other table and chair arrangement across the room and Atsushi could see them trying to see who was so important that she wouldn’t get up to greet them. Atsushi looked away, not wanting to be recognized. The chair was deep enough for him to hide in, and they weren’t exactly staring, so he figured it was good for now. Besides, he doubted he’d see them again-he usually reserved a private bath here to preserve anonymity, among other less polite reasons…
It was only once they were being taken care of by the attendant woman and were wrapped up in their own business that Minamoto-san stopped the small talk and got to business. Apparently she didn’t want to risk them eavesdropping. She collected the papers she had set on the table.
“I’ve arranged it all for you,” she told him plainly. “Two nights, standard room, reserved private bath, traditional dinner and breakfast. Nothing else has changed?”
Atsushi shook his head mutely, realizing just how predictable he was. Same thing every time.
Except for the fact that he was alone this time around. That was a big change.
Minamoto-san scribbled a few words down on the paper and then pushed it over to Atsushi. He only did a cursory scan of the information-this was all just routine by now. Read, hand it back, nod. Minamoto-san rose with practiced ease to her feet. “I will return in a moment and direct you to your room. Please take all the time you need.”
Atsushi glanced down at the table as she left to take the paperwork back to the office and saw that he did have some left. Not wanting to sit in the lobby any longer than necessary he drained it down and was waiting for her as soon as she returned.
The two of them shuffled down the hallway towards the hotel proper. One side of the hall was lined with windows looking out on what would have been a beautiful garden, but was now a rain-soaked blur through the glass.
The hallway opened up into another open, airy room, where he picked up the yukata for his stay there-simple black and white stripes. Nothing fancy.
Then it was finally the main part of the hotel, a long corridor with other halls branching out. They were hidden behind hanging half-curtains and spaced out between more windowed walls and garden views. There was a group of men sitting in one of the small sitting rooms dressed in the striped robes of this onsen who didn’t even look up as Minamoto-san led Atsushi by them. That was typical-once inside the hotel proper there was a general lack of acknowledgement of the other guests. People were there to enjoy themselves, not worry about others.
Minamoto-san led Atsushi down a hallway marked by its plum-colored curtain. They walked down the long curving hallway, past multiple rooms tucked behind wooden Western-style doors, and through a sliding door at the end. They stepped into a small room that contained the door to the private baths. They left that area and through another sliding door on the other side. His room was at the end of this much shorter hallway.
Minamoto-san unlocked the door and led the way in. They stepped into a small entry way where, up on the raised tatami floor was a small refrigerator and a door to the main room. She slipped out of her slippers and opened the refrigerator, showing the bottles inside. It was only water now, but there was enough room for liquor if he so required. She looked at him questioning then and Atsushi was a bit surprised when he hesitated a moment before nodding.
His “room” was actually two traditional rooms. One, the very first, was empty besides his waiting suitcase. The two sets of shoji doors were open to a slightly larger room straight ahead that held the low table and chairs, and open to the right on what would have once been an exterior walkway, but was now enclosed with glass. The entire effect was like walking into a world of yellow and brown with only Minamoto-san’s subdued blue kimono to offset it.
Minamoto-san led the way into the room with the table and pointed out the new television they had recently purchased. It was on a raised wooden platform next to the alcove that held a replica of an ancient kanji scroll. A bit of juxtaposition.
Minamoto-san crossed the larger room to open the shoji door at the end of it and revealed a little alcove with a door to the toilet and bathroom and explained how that had been updated as well. Atsushi just nodded, not really paying attention. He looked around himself at these traditional walls and all he could remember was the damn hotel he had just left…
Atsushi didn’t even notice Minamoto-san again until she was suddenly right next to him and clearing her throat politely. Startled out of his thoughts his head jerked down to look at her.
There was a knowing smile on her face-but Atsushi was sure she didn’t know exactly what he was thinking. She could never imagine. “If you need anything else, please call the front desk. I hope you enjoy your stay here Sakurai-san.” She bowed deeply before placing the key on the tabletop and leaving.
Atsushi watched her go, feeling the silence piling into the room before she even finished closing the door. He had the insane urge to call her back in, make her sit with him and entertain him for the evening, but he couldn’t do that. That wasn’t her job. It was more than enough that she’d escorted him to the room.
Once again he couldn’t help but feel that this had all been a stupid idea. In fact, the whole day had been full of stupid ideas. He wished it could all be rewound… just let him wake up in the hotel bed again…and stay there. If he stayed asleep he wouldn’t have to worry about making decisions.
Standing in the center of the room he looked around at the pristine walls and realized just how quiet it really was. Even the rain seemed to be muted behind the glass, the dark clouds outside masking any hint of sunlight to bring cheer to the beautifully sterile room. There were overhead lights, but they seemed so dim…
There was a moment of such complete stillness that it felt like the world had stopped and it was just him in this silent sanctuary… and then he sighed, scrubbing his hands over his face and cursing his own sense of…imagination? Derangement? He wasn’t sure.
What he really wanted to do in that moment was just curl up in bed and…well, hide. But the bedding was stored away at the moment and he knew he could call and have it lain out, but…
Atsushi sighed. The sound seemed so loud. One of his hands began to play with the long hair that spilled over his shoulder, fingers picking at the strands and he forced himself to stop. That only caused split ends.
What he need now, he realized with a sudden clarity, was a cigarette. There had to be some in his travel bag…
Moving easily now that he had a destination-no matter how trivial-in mind now, he hurried into the other room and picked up the familiar black bag and began to rummage around. There they were…right next to a familiar envelope.
Atsushi stopped and stared, holding the bag open with both hands feeling some apprehensive...maybe even afraid to get near that cursed thing.
He didn’t remember putting the book in that bag, but he must have shoved it there in his haste to pack.
It was with a sort of fascinated trepidation that he pulled it out now, letting the bag fall to the floor as he stared at the envelope in his hand…and then without realizing he’d moved, the book was in view in his other hand, those cursed words staring up at him accusingly.
It was in that quiet, solemn sanctuary that he decided to read it.
And he did.
Part Two