To have one's house to one's self again
Sorry to quote some Jane Austen for you, but really this quote couldn't be farther from the truth. I have never come home and received a colder welcome. Not that I expected anything less, but seriously, driving for 5 hours and then...nothing? Well it felt preeeeeetty awesome.
My dad would have been happy to see me. This I know. Even if he was in a bad mood. Even if he was fucking sick as hell. He was always happy when I came home.
But I am being unfair. The only people in my house right now are strangers. Strangers who just had surgery. Strangers with serious drinking problems. Strangers who will be gone after Christmas. I couldn't be happier that they are just as unhappy with the situation as my mother and I. I knew it wouldn't work out. I guess you have to let people make really stupid decisions sometimes even though you know the outcome all too well.
Of course that means finally selling this house. I don't really know what to think about the house. I used to care, now I am just ambivalent. Moving sometimes seems just too annoying, but staying here is pretty worthless. Everytime I come back to this town another part of me just doesn't care. What's scary is the thought that a lot of people in my grade will probably come back here to live after graduation. hahaha. You know that won't be me.
A year ago I was leaving for Europe in 2 weeks. How the fuck has it been a year?
My dad would have been happy to see me. This I know. Even if he was in a bad mood. Even if he was fucking sick as hell. He was always happy when I came home.
But I am being unfair. The only people in my house right now are strangers. Strangers who just had surgery. Strangers with serious drinking problems. Strangers who will be gone after Christmas. I couldn't be happier that they are just as unhappy with the situation as my mother and I. I knew it wouldn't work out. I guess you have to let people make really stupid decisions sometimes even though you know the outcome all too well.
Of course that means finally selling this house. I don't really know what to think about the house. I used to care, now I am just ambivalent. Moving sometimes seems just too annoying, but staying here is pretty worthless. Everytime I come back to this town another part of me just doesn't care. What's scary is the thought that a lot of people in my grade will probably come back here to live after graduation. hahaha. You know that won't be me.
A year ago I was leaving for Europe in 2 weeks. How the fuck has it been a year?