(no subject)
Why is it that when I want to draw, I lose all grasp of anatomy and start hacking at the paper like a 13 year old boy?
Why is it that this changes daily and that one day I can be doing decent stuff and the next day it looks like I've had a lobotomy and have decided to let my retarded monkey play in my sketchbook?
Why is that even though I know whatever the fuck happened will unhappen again in a few days/weeks it still feels like I've lost all sense of self and I'm not cut out for art at all and I just should burn everything I've ever done because for the love of god I've drawn this before and I SHOULD be able to draw this again and all he's doing is standing there?
Why is it that I can't find a way past this? There should be something I should be able to do to continue drawing and not lose technique so goddamn completely.
Why do I think I can do this professionally if I can't draw at all during my bad days and my bad days still outnumber the good ones 5 to 1? No one is going to want to hire an artist who can only work one week out of the fucking month.
Why do I keep doing this?
Why is it that this changes daily and that one day I can be doing decent stuff and the next day it looks like I've had a lobotomy and have decided to let my retarded monkey play in my sketchbook?
Why is that even though I know whatever the fuck happened will unhappen again in a few days/weeks it still feels like I've lost all sense of self and I'm not cut out for art at all and I just should burn everything I've ever done because for the love of god I've drawn this before and I SHOULD be able to draw this again and all he's doing is standing there?
Why is it that I can't find a way past this? There should be something I should be able to do to continue drawing and not lose technique so goddamn completely.
Why do I think I can do this professionally if I can't draw at all during my bad days and my bad days still outnumber the good ones 5 to 1? No one is going to want to hire an artist who can only work one week out of the fucking month.
Why do I keep doing this?