100quills #14
Title: The Worst Mistake
Fandom: Harry Potter
Characters: Ariana D, Albus D
Prompt: #14 Abandon
Word Count: 778
Rating: PG-13 for angst
Summary: In one of Ariana's periods of sanity, Albus makes the worst mistake he possibly could.
Table link: http://airelement.livejournal.com/72127.html
The piano, charmed by Kendra Dumbledore to loudly play itself when Ariana was in the bath, was a good cover for the sound of the youngest Dumbledore’s cries. It hadn’t been intended that way, but lying in the bath was the only time Ariana could cry. Tears were always immediately wiped away with cuddles and gentle words from one of her watchful relatives, and sadness was talked through wisely. Except for the once that Albus lost his temper.
“I’ve been eating second helpings of toffee pudding all week even though I’ve been having a goddamn allergic reaction to that potion because I thought it would make eating easier for you if I wasn’t missing food, but does it help? No. And you aren’t going to learn from this week, you’re just going to freak out at magic again and then you’ll be like a child again. I know you will, because you always do! You never learn, and it looks like you never will! Is this how you really want to go on? Do you want to live like this? Because if it isn’t, and you don’t want to spend the rest of your life half-mad, you’d better do something about it, Ariana.”
She’d been so determined to be strong. She was going to fight through the painful thoughts and beat this madness once and for all. It was worth eating, because she was going to be completely sane, and that meant she needed food.
She refused to cry in front of Albus, not after his rant. She held the tears in as she sat sipping her tea, busying herself with the novel balanced on her knees as she sat on the precariously high and wobbly stool. Some of them squeezed past the iron mask she set on her face, but she wiped them away quickly and refused to look up at her brother.
At lunchtime, she asked Betsy the house-elf to bring her a bigger helping of bread than usual. Betsy had complied, and Ariana had ploughed her way through the thick slice of warm crusty bread as well as her usual apple. She was going to do this. She would show him. She didn’t like being this way, always on the precipice of losing her mind and being a child for months. How could she like it? She wasn’t mad, not right now.
-------
Ariana lay in the bath, looking down at her frail body. Her hips jutted out and her ribs stood to attention, barely covered by a layer of skin. Her hair floated next to her in the water, fiery red against the white skin that covered her in the only layer of insulation she had.
What was the point of eating? She was a disgrace to her family, a waste of space and a shameful secret. She ruined the lives of the people she loved on a daily basis with her needs, and whenever she made a special effort to make them happy it went wrong. Why was she alive? What was the point, the purpose, of staving off starvation when she only prolonged her family’s pain?
“I want to die,” Ariana whispered as she floated in the warm water.
The quiet expression of turmoil went unnoticed.
------------
Albus hadn’t heard anything unusual at first. Ariana was in the bath, so he stayed in his room reading. But he decided to take a look out of the back window, and on his way past the bathroom he heard an odd noise, one he wouldn’t associate with bathing or piano music.
“Ariana?” he called. There was no reply.
------------
Ariana didn’t hear her brother call. She’d thought that the noise of the piano would cover the noise of her crying, because she needed to cry. She needed to bury herself in Aberforth’s comforting arms and sob, and have him encourage her and tell her all the things that made her happy. But Aberforth was out for the day with their parents, and Albus was the only one in the house. Ariana couldn’t go to him for comfort, because he hated her now. She was a disaster, she didn’t deserve to be hugged. She deserved to die and she wanted to.
------------
“I’m fine!”
Albus raised his eyebrows at the strength with which Ariana replied to his enquiries about what was wrong.
“There’s obviously something wrong. What’s the matter?” he asked.
“Nothing!” Ariana yelled, her voice choked with tears. Albus looked at the door, wondering what he should do. Ariana struggled to sit up, her protruding spine making it a painful task. And then Albus made the worst mistake of his life.
He walked away.
Fandom: Harry Potter
Characters: Ariana D, Albus D
Prompt: #14 Abandon
Word Count: 778
Rating: PG-13 for angst
Summary: In one of Ariana's periods of sanity, Albus makes the worst mistake he possibly could.
Table link: http://airelement.livejournal.com/72127.html
The piano, charmed by Kendra Dumbledore to loudly play itself when Ariana was in the bath, was a good cover for the sound of the youngest Dumbledore’s cries. It hadn’t been intended that way, but lying in the bath was the only time Ariana could cry. Tears were always immediately wiped away with cuddles and gentle words from one of her watchful relatives, and sadness was talked through wisely. Except for the once that Albus lost his temper.
“I’ve been eating second helpings of toffee pudding all week even though I’ve been having a goddamn allergic reaction to that potion because I thought it would make eating easier for you if I wasn’t missing food, but does it help? No. And you aren’t going to learn from this week, you’re just going to freak out at magic again and then you’ll be like a child again. I know you will, because you always do! You never learn, and it looks like you never will! Is this how you really want to go on? Do you want to live like this? Because if it isn’t, and you don’t want to spend the rest of your life half-mad, you’d better do something about it, Ariana.”
She’d been so determined to be strong. She was going to fight through the painful thoughts and beat this madness once and for all. It was worth eating, because she was going to be completely sane, and that meant she needed food.
She refused to cry in front of Albus, not after his rant. She held the tears in as she sat sipping her tea, busying herself with the novel balanced on her knees as she sat on the precariously high and wobbly stool. Some of them squeezed past the iron mask she set on her face, but she wiped them away quickly and refused to look up at her brother.
At lunchtime, she asked Betsy the house-elf to bring her a bigger helping of bread than usual. Betsy had complied, and Ariana had ploughed her way through the thick slice of warm crusty bread as well as her usual apple. She was going to do this. She would show him. She didn’t like being this way, always on the precipice of losing her mind and being a child for months. How could she like it? She wasn’t mad, not right now.
-------
Ariana lay in the bath, looking down at her frail body. Her hips jutted out and her ribs stood to attention, barely covered by a layer of skin. Her hair floated next to her in the water, fiery red against the white skin that covered her in the only layer of insulation she had.
What was the point of eating? She was a disgrace to her family, a waste of space and a shameful secret. She ruined the lives of the people she loved on a daily basis with her needs, and whenever she made a special effort to make them happy it went wrong. Why was she alive? What was the point, the purpose, of staving off starvation when she only prolonged her family’s pain?
“I want to die,” Ariana whispered as she floated in the warm water.
The quiet expression of turmoil went unnoticed.
------------
Albus hadn’t heard anything unusual at first. Ariana was in the bath, so he stayed in his room reading. But he decided to take a look out of the back window, and on his way past the bathroom he heard an odd noise, one he wouldn’t associate with bathing or piano music.
“Ariana?” he called. There was no reply.
------------
Ariana didn’t hear her brother call. She’d thought that the noise of the piano would cover the noise of her crying, because she needed to cry. She needed to bury herself in Aberforth’s comforting arms and sob, and have him encourage her and tell her all the things that made her happy. But Aberforth was out for the day with their parents, and Albus was the only one in the house. Ariana couldn’t go to him for comfort, because he hated her now. She was a disaster, she didn’t deserve to be hugged. She deserved to die and she wanted to.
------------
“I’m fine!”
Albus raised his eyebrows at the strength with which Ariana replied to his enquiries about what was wrong.
“There’s obviously something wrong. What’s the matter?” he asked.
“Nothing!” Ariana yelled, her voice choked with tears. Albus looked at the door, wondering what he should do. Ariana struggled to sit up, her protruding spine making it a painful task. And then Albus made the worst mistake of his life.
He walked away.