(no subject)
i posted this as a reply to my friend's entry and then i realized it was mildly interesting even out of context, so i'm putting it here too. :p
the thing about our growing up is that we get to make bigger decisions, but we don't necessarily have a better idea of what we should choose. we do not, contrary to childhood belief, grow up and one day become certain of what will make us happiest and whether we're investing in a sure bet or a wild goose chase, especially when it comes to matters of the heart.
i was talking to my dad about this recently (and you have to know, in advance, that he's a huge romantic and that my mom was his high school sweetheart from age 16) and he said he didn't know for sure that she would be the one until she walked down the aisle. he more or less said that you get certainty after you make choices, not in preparation for them, and that you actually have to choose who you're with again, and again, and again (more or less on a daily basis).
as a side note, i asked him what he was sure of, and one of the few things was that eventually one's idealism and devotion to philosophical principles, which seems super duper crucially important when we're younger, becomes more or less secondary to the people that we share things with. and that no two people ever remember things the way you think they will (that is, the way YOU do) and over time you will be astonished by how differently they think the most important moments in your shared lives happened.
this is all rather vague and scary and i'm not sure it will help. but it seemed relevant.
the thing about our growing up is that we get to make bigger decisions, but we don't necessarily have a better idea of what we should choose. we do not, contrary to childhood belief, grow up and one day become certain of what will make us happiest and whether we're investing in a sure bet or a wild goose chase, especially when it comes to matters of the heart.
i was talking to my dad about this recently (and you have to know, in advance, that he's a huge romantic and that my mom was his high school sweetheart from age 16) and he said he didn't know for sure that she would be the one until she walked down the aisle. he more or less said that you get certainty after you make choices, not in preparation for them, and that you actually have to choose who you're with again, and again, and again (more or less on a daily basis).
as a side note, i asked him what he was sure of, and one of the few things was that eventually one's idealism and devotion to philosophical principles, which seems super duper crucially important when we're younger, becomes more or less secondary to the people that we share things with. and that no two people ever remember things the way you think they will (that is, the way YOU do) and over time you will be astonished by how differently they think the most important moments in your shared lives happened.
this is all rather vague and scary and i'm not sure it will help. but it seemed relevant.