Drama
First letter to Jesse when I was drunk:
Jesse,
Please don't tell Stephenie this, bust she and I just got into a big fucking fight. She is so pissed at me, and I don't know why. I got drunk I don't remember saying anything that would piss her off, but she is fucking soooooo pissed at me. I don't know. As much as I love Stephenie, there are just times when I don't think that she gets me, and there are times when I don't think that she ever will. That's why I miss you, I don't have to ever explain myself to you, and that's what I love about you.
I just wanted to tell you that I miss and love you.
Love,
Aaron
Second letter to Jesse at 8:30 in the morning when I can't fucking sleep:
Hi again,
It's 8:30 in the morning and I have no one to talk to right now. I just thought I would write you another email. I was talking with Sam last night, and she just said that I was being "bitchy" like I can be. Which is fine. I am like that, and it has caused many fights before in the past. It is just part of who I am. That doesn't mean that I think it's some great quality, but my friends know that I can be that way, and they accept it.
What really gets me is that Stephenie is always saying shit like, "This is something that I just can't talk to you about." or "This is something that always bothers me." I mean, the way she phrases shit when she's mad...actually, she does it quite often, it's just so fucking mean. She says things in a way that you feel like she feels it all the time. Is this making sense?
My point is this...if I have a problem with a friend, and it bother me often and they're someone I care about, I tell then and try to talk it out. Whenever Stephenie and I get into a fight, she says shit that makes me feel like I'm a horrible friend all the time, like I do shit wrong all the time, like I'm a shitty person all the time. And I know for a fact that she realizes what she's doing. That's what really pisses me off. I feel like she says things that she knows are gonna really piss me off. Cause then she refuses to talk about it. And this isn't only when I'm drunk, she pulls this shit if we ever get into a little fight and we're sober. And that's one of the things that really, really pisses me off about her.
But being what I consider a good friend, I have tried to talk to her about this. She doesn't like have talks. She never has...and that fucking pisses me off so much, I can't fucking describe it.
I miss you so much, and thanks for letting me vent.
Love,
Aaron
You guys, I just don't know. I don't know what to do. I thought I would put in the emails cause it would be easier to explain. There are just times when I think that people out here don't get me. This is what really gets me down about living in New York. I have been through all of these fights/talks before. You guys understand what I have been through, and have seen me/been with me when I have grown up. You have helped to make me who I am today. I tell people stories about our friends...and I'm doing it to explain how close and wonderful our friendships are, and how much you all mean to me, and I just catch looks on their faces showing that they think we're weird. And same about my family. Are other people not this close and open with their friends? I just don't know any other way to live.
Well, I wouldn't want to have it any other way. I love the way we are. I love that at any point in time, in the middle of the fucking night, no matter what state (drunk/stoned...or New York) I'm in, I can call any of you, and know that you won't be annoyed with me. I know that if I called Stephenie in the middle of the night drunk and upset, she would probably be annoyed with me. I hate to say it...but it pisses me off.
I know that we will work this out, but from day one, I knew that there would be problems like this. We have had totally different experiences in life, and she just doesn't understand me on levels that are important to me. And that's the thing...you do.
I love you all soooooooooooooo much,
Aaron
Jesse,
Please don't tell Stephenie this, bust she and I just got into a big fucking fight. She is so pissed at me, and I don't know why. I got drunk I don't remember saying anything that would piss her off, but she is fucking soooooo pissed at me. I don't know. As much as I love Stephenie, there are just times when I don't think that she gets me, and there are times when I don't think that she ever will. That's why I miss you, I don't have to ever explain myself to you, and that's what I love about you.
I just wanted to tell you that I miss and love you.
Love,
Aaron
Second letter to Jesse at 8:30 in the morning when I can't fucking sleep:
Hi again,
It's 8:30 in the morning and I have no one to talk to right now. I just thought I would write you another email. I was talking with Sam last night, and she just said that I was being "bitchy" like I can be. Which is fine. I am like that, and it has caused many fights before in the past. It is just part of who I am. That doesn't mean that I think it's some great quality, but my friends know that I can be that way, and they accept it.
What really gets me is that Stephenie is always saying shit like, "This is something that I just can't talk to you about." or "This is something that always bothers me." I mean, the way she phrases shit when she's mad...actually, she does it quite often, it's just so fucking mean. She says things in a way that you feel like she feels it all the time. Is this making sense?
My point is this...if I have a problem with a friend, and it bother me often and they're someone I care about, I tell then and try to talk it out. Whenever Stephenie and I get into a fight, she says shit that makes me feel like I'm a horrible friend all the time, like I do shit wrong all the time, like I'm a shitty person all the time. And I know for a fact that she realizes what she's doing. That's what really pisses me off. I feel like she says things that she knows are gonna really piss me off. Cause then she refuses to talk about it. And this isn't only when I'm drunk, she pulls this shit if we ever get into a little fight and we're sober. And that's one of the things that really, really pisses me off about her.
But being what I consider a good friend, I have tried to talk to her about this. She doesn't like have talks. She never has...and that fucking pisses me off so much, I can't fucking describe it.
I miss you so much, and thanks for letting me vent.
Love,
Aaron
You guys, I just don't know. I don't know what to do. I thought I would put in the emails cause it would be easier to explain. There are just times when I think that people out here don't get me. This is what really gets me down about living in New York. I have been through all of these fights/talks before. You guys understand what I have been through, and have seen me/been with me when I have grown up. You have helped to make me who I am today. I tell people stories about our friends...and I'm doing it to explain how close and wonderful our friendships are, and how much you all mean to me, and I just catch looks on their faces showing that they think we're weird. And same about my family. Are other people not this close and open with their friends? I just don't know any other way to live.
Well, I wouldn't want to have it any other way. I love the way we are. I love that at any point in time, in the middle of the fucking night, no matter what state (drunk/stoned...or New York) I'm in, I can call any of you, and know that you won't be annoyed with me. I know that if I called Stephenie in the middle of the night drunk and upset, she would probably be annoyed with me. I hate to say it...but it pisses me off.
I know that we will work this out, but from day one, I knew that there would be problems like this. We have had totally different experiences in life, and she just doesn't understand me on levels that are important to me. And that's the thing...you do.
I love you all soooooooooooooo much,
Aaron