Die, Pottery Barn
Today I was contemplating decorative pottery. I know, I am just as surprised as you are. but as I was looking around my landlady's house I noticed that there is decorative pottery EVERYWHERE. I can't turn around without feeling their caked over clay eyes boring into my ass, perhaps thinking "hey, cute ass", but of course their perception of my ass' cuteness was not what made me wonder. Tons of inanimate objects think I'm sexy.
No, the aspect of decorative pottery that made my brain spontaneously decide to start functioning in a higher way was just the innate uselessness of it. Like, if I took a lump of clay and lovingly shaped it into a vase and painted it in stylish color so it would more accentuate my flowers and someone did not put flowers in the vase I would be pretty bummed. Clearly the consumer will never use the vase to it's full potential.
And as long as I am personifying the pottery, how do you think the vase feels about this. "Common man, put something in me! Why are you keeping me from my destiny, you jerk?" That has got to fucking suck.
So I urge you all... If you are the proud owners of a piece of pottery, no matter how useless it looks, for god's sake fucking use it. For something. Store your Kool-aid, I don't know.
No, the aspect of decorative pottery that made my brain spontaneously decide to start functioning in a higher way was just the innate uselessness of it. Like, if I took a lump of clay and lovingly shaped it into a vase and painted it in stylish color so it would more accentuate my flowers and someone did not put flowers in the vase I would be pretty bummed. Clearly the consumer will never use the vase to it's full potential.
And as long as I am personifying the pottery, how do you think the vase feels about this. "Common man, put something in me! Why are you keeping me from my destiny, you jerk?" That has got to fucking suck.
So I urge you all... If you are the proud owners of a piece of pottery, no matter how useless it looks, for god's sake fucking use it. For something. Store your Kool-aid, I don't know.