i go through fazes
I don't know if this happens to most people, but for the most part i live in extremes... either i'm super happy, super sad, or super angry... there's the occasional me lacking all emotion which is yet another extreme. I tend to be in the super angry most of all... probably not the best place to say because i hear stress causes you to lose years of your life... i want to live for a long time.. but now i'm angry oh so so very angry i can't help it... and it's to the point where i'm not going to apologize... i don't care... i'm beyond the point where i get mad then am like "Oh i'm sorry for the way i was acting, things are kind of hard right now (fake smile)" i hate people
i'm guilty of this but i still hate it, i hate when people get mad and stop sounding intelligent, fucking fucking fucking ya kno? that's all they say fuck this fuck that blah blah blah ya kno? (and i mean they say "ya kno") FUCK!! SHUT UP!!! don't be such a damn pussy! shit. that right there is aimed at my brother. His girlfriend of 2 years recently broke up with him for stupid reasons, they lived together the whole time and were wanting to get married. before they were "officially" broken up she got smashed and boned some dude... and yeah messed up be sad... and her i go being callus... TALK ABOUT SOMETHING ELSE! FUCK! i mean my god! can you stop being a miserable piece for just one minute? try and get a grip on life! you're not dying, yes a big section of your life is over, you may not get back together with her! but acting like a big pansy isn't going to help... and don't be a flippin emo kid and starving yourself and throwing up if you do eat!... (don't think i'm a coward for saying this on here, i've said it to him he doesn't listen)... oh yeah and for everyone drinking doesn't help solve problems it just makes you more annoying and hard to deal with... so don't do it when you're depressed... drinking is something to do when you're happy or want to relax... it's not a good antidepressant.
As everyone says to me after i say this "but casey, you've never loved someone, you don't know what it feels like to experience this!" yes i've never loved my girlfriends, i've liked people a whole lot but probably never been in love. but oh oh i know pain and rejection. How about liking someone a whole lot... and she likes you back, then she decides to go out with your friend :) fun stuff.... following this she goes out with another friend... it's ok i dealt with it... ooh but then she fooled around with my brothers friend, someone i didn't like much... THEN here's the kicker... knowing how much i liked this chick(which i don't understand anymore) my brother took it upon himself to begin having relations with her... then lying to me about it... they both lied about it... and she was supposed to be like one of my best friends? hmmm talk about betrayal... but i don't care! i moved on fairly quickly actually i mean i was mad... but i moved on pretty fast.
Oh back up again... about repeating things when you're upset or sad... IT DOESN'T CHANGE ANYTHING! when you're astonished that your ex is already out with other girls, saying you don't believe it... DOESN'T HELP! believe it or not it's happening... and then repeating the same thing over and over and over and over and over doesn't change a damn thing and it doesn't help you move past the fact that he is over you! for what ever reason... i mean look at what i typed... doesn't the "over and over" shit piss you off? i mean it's just so damn annoying... ughhhh rant rant rant yes i'm a goddamn hypocrite but hey i'm not doing it to a person so i'm not annoying the shit out of someone :) i mean i try to be reasonable... I TRY to help... i try to do the right thing and be nice, to listen but after 2 weeks of hearing the same shit day after day after day... i just want to fucking die!
phew, on to the next example of me being shafted no, never mind that'd(i didn't know "that'd" wasn't a word til now) be stupid to write about... ladies please if you don't plan on having a long term relationship with someone, don't say hey go to this school because then we can hang out all the time, or say it's ok i can wait until it's over ;)... damn lying people! if you don't like a person, be straight up "I DON'T WANT TO BE WITH YOU ANYMORE! i'm sorry to hurt you, but i don't like you anymore!" i actually should start doing that... i'm bad at relationships. who ever reads this will most likely nod there head right here... yes casey sucks at them... but i'm a damn good friend... WHO the hell would drive half an hour at like midnight to go buy gas for friends because they ran out? if a friend of mine is ever in need i will help them. I offer them safety, security, loyalty... You can be yourself with me, i don't need you to pretend to be something you're not. None of the girls i've gone out with have been at all similar... well minus the fact that all but one had dark hair... they were all wonderful in their own ways and taught me a lot... they're all over and i'm friends with all but one!... but yeah i've been typing this for about 20 minutes now! shit...
i don't even know what the point of this is anymore jumping from topic to topic and all... i'm practicing the art form, stream of consciousness... it's amazing you should try it sometime... basically after these last couple days i've come to a few conclusions, i hate humanity, people are disappointing and constantly let you down, drinking is not the answer, and never ever go out with someone from Bremerton.
thanks for your time i'm going to sleep.
*exits followed by applause*
i'm guilty of this but i still hate it, i hate when people get mad and stop sounding intelligent, fucking fucking fucking ya kno? that's all they say fuck this fuck that blah blah blah ya kno? (and i mean they say "ya kno") FUCK!! SHUT UP!!! don't be such a damn pussy! shit. that right there is aimed at my brother. His girlfriend of 2 years recently broke up with him for stupid reasons, they lived together the whole time and were wanting to get married. before they were "officially" broken up she got smashed and boned some dude... and yeah messed up be sad... and her i go being callus... TALK ABOUT SOMETHING ELSE! FUCK! i mean my god! can you stop being a miserable piece for just one minute? try and get a grip on life! you're not dying, yes a big section of your life is over, you may not get back together with her! but acting like a big pansy isn't going to help... and don't be a flippin emo kid and starving yourself and throwing up if you do eat!... (don't think i'm a coward for saying this on here, i've said it to him he doesn't listen)... oh yeah and for everyone drinking doesn't help solve problems it just makes you more annoying and hard to deal with... so don't do it when you're depressed... drinking is something to do when you're happy or want to relax... it's not a good antidepressant.
As everyone says to me after i say this "but casey, you've never loved someone, you don't know what it feels like to experience this!" yes i've never loved my girlfriends, i've liked people a whole lot but probably never been in love. but oh oh i know pain and rejection. How about liking someone a whole lot... and she likes you back, then she decides to go out with your friend :) fun stuff.... following this she goes out with another friend... it's ok i dealt with it... ooh but then she fooled around with my brothers friend, someone i didn't like much... THEN here's the kicker... knowing how much i liked this chick(which i don't understand anymore) my brother took it upon himself to begin having relations with her... then lying to me about it... they both lied about it... and she was supposed to be like one of my best friends? hmmm talk about betrayal... but i don't care! i moved on fairly quickly actually i mean i was mad... but i moved on pretty fast.
Oh back up again... about repeating things when you're upset or sad... IT DOESN'T CHANGE ANYTHING! when you're astonished that your ex is already out with other girls, saying you don't believe it... DOESN'T HELP! believe it or not it's happening... and then repeating the same thing over and over and over and over and over doesn't change a damn thing and it doesn't help you move past the fact that he is over you! for what ever reason... i mean look at what i typed... doesn't the "over and over" shit piss you off? i mean it's just so damn annoying... ughhhh rant rant rant yes i'm a goddamn hypocrite but hey i'm not doing it to a person so i'm not annoying the shit out of someone :) i mean i try to be reasonable... I TRY to help... i try to do the right thing and be nice, to listen but after 2 weeks of hearing the same shit day after day after day... i just want to fucking die!
phew, on to the next example of me being shafted no, never mind that'd(i didn't know "that'd" wasn't a word til now) be stupid to write about... ladies please if you don't plan on having a long term relationship with someone, don't say hey go to this school because then we can hang out all the time, or say it's ok i can wait until it's over ;)... damn lying people! if you don't like a person, be straight up "I DON'T WANT TO BE WITH YOU ANYMORE! i'm sorry to hurt you, but i don't like you anymore!" i actually should start doing that... i'm bad at relationships. who ever reads this will most likely nod there head right here... yes casey sucks at them... but i'm a damn good friend... WHO the hell would drive half an hour at like midnight to go buy gas for friends because they ran out? if a friend of mine is ever in need i will help them. I offer them safety, security, loyalty... You can be yourself with me, i don't need you to pretend to be something you're not. None of the girls i've gone out with have been at all similar... well minus the fact that all but one had dark hair... they were all wonderful in their own ways and taught me a lot... they're all over and i'm friends with all but one!... but yeah i've been typing this for about 20 minutes now! shit...
i don't even know what the point of this is anymore jumping from topic to topic and all... i'm practicing the art form, stream of consciousness... it's amazing you should try it sometime... basically after these last couple days i've come to a few conclusions, i hate humanity, people are disappointing and constantly let you down, drinking is not the answer, and never ever go out with someone from Bremerton.
thanks for your time i'm going to sleep.
*exits followed by applause*