doin crystal meth will lift you up until you break....
wow, who knows what song that is from?? lets go with third eye blind's semi-charmed life...is anyone else as completely shocked by that as i was?
anyways, moving on to not so happy times...yesterday, i cried- no yesterday i bawled my fucking eyes out
i got asked by a completely and genuinely inquisitvie person if i was a goth yesterday...the thought struck me funny and left me giving him a quizzical look and telling him that no, i was not. of course this left me to rack my brain as to what would posess him to ask me that question first off in general, but more importantly, why directed at me....and then i realized: black spider pajama pants coupled with a black tinkerbell hoodie was the look, along with ....drumroll please.......the fact that the purple that had invaded my bathtub the previuos day was not, in fact, the purple kool-aid man's jizz (for lack of better analogy)... damn. so i had to explain myself.
that was not at all a contributing factor to why i fell apart.
after classes, i went jet skiing, that is , we took our jet skis out of the water so i got to ride it one last time this season- honestly, i was dreading this day for the past few days, but once i got on that jet ski, the power instantly came back, along with every good memory made on that lake over this last summer (even though there were so few, i wouldn't trade them for anything)..there was something about being the only one on the vast spread of the lake that made it feel like i was somehow victorious in some life altering battle (or maybe i'm just getting a little to accostomed to the talks of world of warcraft)
and while i have cried over world of warcraft (it was an isolated, and complicated, incident), that also had nothing to do with the tears, its time will come
jason was waiting at the house after the jet skis had gracefully bowed out of the water for the season, vowing to make a return. we decided to go halloween shopping. it was fun- laughing at the ridiculous costumes they have and trying to find some things just to try on for laughs, if nothing else... an alice in wonderland costume in hand, smile on my face, i step into the fitting room....i can't really go into detail as to what went on in there, its something that only the fitting room and myself will have etched in our memories, but i will say that there was no vampire, mummy or holy ghost, that made me leave the room with a white pallor and the inability to talk. it would be great if i could honestly tell you that this wasn't the worst day of my life, but sadly, it was. i walked silently out to the car, got in, and started crying like alice when she's huge and then gets small and drowns in her tears.
the night continued, and i bought a book that is now to be reffered to as the bible and better portray some miracle, i'm giving it a few months at the least... on the upside, i also got a dali book for 7 bucks, azure ray and shins cds, and a book (for 3 bucks!!) that looked interesting, and wasn't until after the purchase that i realized there is a rilo kiley quote in it, needless to say i have high hopes for it.
on an ending note i would just like to say that before you judge me as being the most vain and horrible person on the earth, think about it- you'd do the same