I might not exist. Just like Atlantis.
I've tried numerous times to write in this journal, but haven't managed to write one. Life goes by like a dream. Sometimes a very uneventful dream. The other day I dreamed that I got new mis-matched slippers.
I have been doing a lot of gardening. My parents didn't take great care of the front or back yard. They have bushes and rocks, and some of the bushes were dying. So I ripped out some of them, and planted a vegetable garden. There's tomatoes, eggplants, peppers, and cucumbers. A lot of interesting heritage varieties. Turkish orange eggplants, Italian pink bicolour eggplants, black pearl hot peppers, and lemon apple cucumbers. And some black and white climbing beans. If there's anything I'm going to miss, it's seeing the garden grow. I'm sure I'll miss my family, but that's always on a level that I experience, yet don't fully recognize. I could get upset about something unrelated, like I'm out of butter and get terribly upset, but the reaction is driven by the fact that I miss my sister. And I may or may not recognize it. People have more in common with the other mammals than they recognize. A few weeks ago, Carlita the rat was fighting with Harlequin the rat, and so I hit Carlita on the nose. The next day, I opened the cage and Carlita was being aggressive towards me, she even bit me, though not hard. I felt bad, she didn't know that I hit her for hurting Harley, she just thought I was mean. Mr and Carlita are good friends now though, she tries to clean my face. I wonder if she remembers now.
I'm flying out on Wednesday. I'm flying from London to Winnipeg, then Winnipeg to Rankin. My stop-over is something like 20 hours. I don't know what I'm going to do for 20 hours. I want to go to the city and walk around, but I don't want to do that with luggage. I could just stay in the airport and use my computer and sleep and read. And eat burgers or something. I'm going to start packing today. I did my laundry. I still gotta do some mending and darning. I want to knit more socks. Tall striped socks. Maybe that's what I'll do in the airport. Hmm. I definitely need more warm socks.
So many other projects and experiments I want to start. But I do feel like I've disappeared. Everything got really slow. Time just crawls, and a month's gone by, and I haven't done much. Life is just crawling here, but in 2 days I'm leaving. I don't know what to think. I want to knit more socks. Everything else has gotten muddy. Art and politics are strangers to me, even though I try to hold them close. In due time I guess. It's not like they're going to disappear forever, I just gotta find a new string to pull. I find myself more distant and things seem more ironic. Except heritage vegetables. Yesterday I watched this hilariously ridiculous program about the crystal sculls. The program just had to mention finding Atlantis, finding robot crystal skulls on mars, and that they are from the aliens. I want to find Atlantis. I'm sure I could work it into a very ironic show. So anyways, the people on the TV thought the crystal skulls were sacred. The only objects sacred to me are heritage vegetables.
2 Days to departure.
I have been doing a lot of gardening. My parents didn't take great care of the front or back yard. They have bushes and rocks, and some of the bushes were dying. So I ripped out some of them, and planted a vegetable garden. There's tomatoes, eggplants, peppers, and cucumbers. A lot of interesting heritage varieties. Turkish orange eggplants, Italian pink bicolour eggplants, black pearl hot peppers, and lemon apple cucumbers. And some black and white climbing beans. If there's anything I'm going to miss, it's seeing the garden grow. I'm sure I'll miss my family, but that's always on a level that I experience, yet don't fully recognize. I could get upset about something unrelated, like I'm out of butter and get terribly upset, but the reaction is driven by the fact that I miss my sister. And I may or may not recognize it. People have more in common with the other mammals than they recognize. A few weeks ago, Carlita the rat was fighting with Harlequin the rat, and so I hit Carlita on the nose. The next day, I opened the cage and Carlita was being aggressive towards me, she even bit me, though not hard. I felt bad, she didn't know that I hit her for hurting Harley, she just thought I was mean. Mr and Carlita are good friends now though, she tries to clean my face. I wonder if she remembers now.
I'm flying out on Wednesday. I'm flying from London to Winnipeg, then Winnipeg to Rankin. My stop-over is something like 20 hours. I don't know what I'm going to do for 20 hours. I want to go to the city and walk around, but I don't want to do that with luggage. I could just stay in the airport and use my computer and sleep and read. And eat burgers or something. I'm going to start packing today. I did my laundry. I still gotta do some mending and darning. I want to knit more socks. Tall striped socks. Maybe that's what I'll do in the airport. Hmm. I definitely need more warm socks.
So many other projects and experiments I want to start. But I do feel like I've disappeared. Everything got really slow. Time just crawls, and a month's gone by, and I haven't done much. Life is just crawling here, but in 2 days I'm leaving. I don't know what to think. I want to knit more socks. Everything else has gotten muddy. Art and politics are strangers to me, even though I try to hold them close. In due time I guess. It's not like they're going to disappear forever, I just gotta find a new string to pull. I find myself more distant and things seem more ironic. Except heritage vegetables. Yesterday I watched this hilariously ridiculous program about the crystal sculls. The program just had to mention finding Atlantis, finding robot crystal skulls on mars, and that they are from the aliens. I want to find Atlantis. I'm sure I could work it into a very ironic show. So anyways, the people on the TV thought the crystal skulls were sacred. The only objects sacred to me are heritage vegetables.
2 Days to departure.