I'll be the giver and you'll be the taker.
everyone's sleeping & i would write this down on paper if i had some but im not home and this is the best that ive got. i can't sleep but im exhausted. i can't believe the emotional mess ive gotten myself into. it's way too late to come out of this without any bruises or bumps. im fucking lost dude. I dont know how any of this happened, and i could never explain it to anyone. i want to believe in something that just can't possibly be real. i should have been too proud, like i use to be, but i let it all go when i met him. and he wasn't ready to. now im in this situation that i have to look in the face everyday, because for one reason or another, we can't stay away from eachother. i guess my reasons for it are different. i need to get the fuck out of here. I know i always say that, but it's the only thing that will clear my head. Its the only the thing that will keep me away from him. i wish i couldnt make my own choices because i always make the wrong one when it comes to this. the sick part is i know this. i knew it all along. i always knew how it would end. i keep thinking this is the end. but it just keeps going, it's killing me but at the same time it's what i want. I know none of this makes any sense. i don't try and make sense of it. Im completely miserable, and ive never been happier. and i know ill let it all go on, i'll keep my mouth shut, and i'll swallow my pride just to keep him from leaving. I dont ever want him to leave.