This Is The Last Time // drabble // akame
this is the last time
akame
pg-13, angst
There you are. Again.
no happy ending
a/n. Kame's POV in first person. Very short. It's just something I had to write in order not to go crazy. I'm not sure it was successful.
This Is The Last Time
There you are. Again. Standing in front of my door, tired, sweaty, disappointed. My heart clenches at the sight. You don’t look into my eyes, you don’t have the courage to do so. And you don’t need to, because you know that I let you in, I always do.
Because I love you.
You don’t speak and I don’t ask you. Hearing the soft click as you close the door, I turn around and walk back into the living room. You follow me, your steps are heavy and unsteady, I hear them stop behind me as you wrap your arms around me. Your breath tickles the back of my neck and I finally let out the deep sigh that has been choking me for a while. The air I exhale burns my throat as it sweeps through me.
“I won’t come aymore. This is the last time”, you say and I want to laugh out loud because I can’t even count how many times I heard that already. It keeps repeating in my head for hours every time you leave. But you always come back, I know you will. You are just lying because it makes everything easier.
“I love you.” you whisper hoarsely into my ear and I tense. You have never said those words out loud but that is not what scares me to death. There is something indescribable in your voice and it makes me unable to move as reality sinks in. I was wrong. This time you didn’t lie.
I don’t feel like laughing anymore.
Your fingertips find my neck and I feel goose bumps on my arms. You burn warm spots into my skin, the flames reaching my heart and consume it slowly and painfully. I force myself to move and I clash your chest with my back, leaning back slightly to feel every inch of your heated body. For the last time.
You turn me around and I can’t help but notice how your fingers tremble as they clasp my shoulder. Your eyes bore into mine but I doubt you can really see me through your tears. I kiss your eyes to prevent them from falling.
You breathe shakily as you dig your fingers into my hair, firmly and quickly, making me unable to turn my head away. How could you know that I wanted to?
Your lips are demanding as you press them to mine, you suck on my lower lip hard and your tongue sweeps over it hastily. It almost hurts but I don’t care. I open my mouth and taste the bittersweet kiss eagerly. I want to feel it, I want to feel you and everything you can’t tell me and pour into that one kiss. Our last kiss.
Your lips twitch as you suppress a sob but you refuse to break the kiss. It would be too soon. You want it to last a bit longer. Just one moment longer. Your hands grab my hair tighter, desperately, pleadingly but you can’t hold on any longer. You gasp loudly when our lips finally part and I feel the cold air stabbing my lungs without the warmth of your mouth. You lower your head to hide the pain which is so evident on your face. You don’t want to hurt me.
I place a shaky hand on the top of your head but I can’t feel your wavy hair under my fingertips. I brush through it nevertheless.
Your fingers are still buried in my locks but your grip is not that firm anymore. You are letting me go.
I reach out for your hands and feel how sweaty they are. You raise your head, your eyes roam over my face as if you want to memorize it. I feel a squeeze on my hand, hesitant and effortless.
Your grip tightens once more and you pull me closer by my nape. You don’t hug me, just brush your nose over my neck and give it a little peck.
Then it is over. You pull away and just stand there with silent tears and unspoken words.
I want to pull you back just as much as I want push you away. “Go.” came the whisper from my lips and I don’t know how I could find the strength to speak.
Our hands separate and you give me a last glance before turning away. I don’t think I would ever be able to forget that look.
I hear your muffled sobs from outside as the front door closes with a soft thud. But I’m not sure they are your sobs or mine.
Tonight I let myself think of you a bit. For the last time.
akame
pg-13, angst
There you are. Again.
no happy ending
a/n. Kame's POV in first person. Very short. It's just something I had to write in order not to go crazy. I'm not sure it was successful.
This Is The Last Time
There you are. Again. Standing in front of my door, tired, sweaty, disappointed. My heart clenches at the sight. You don’t look into my eyes, you don’t have the courage to do so. And you don’t need to, because you know that I let you in, I always do.
Because I love you.
You don’t speak and I don’t ask you. Hearing the soft click as you close the door, I turn around and walk back into the living room. You follow me, your steps are heavy and unsteady, I hear them stop behind me as you wrap your arms around me. Your breath tickles the back of my neck and I finally let out the deep sigh that has been choking me for a while. The air I exhale burns my throat as it sweeps through me.
“I won’t come aymore. This is the last time”, you say and I want to laugh out loud because I can’t even count how many times I heard that already. It keeps repeating in my head for hours every time you leave. But you always come back, I know you will. You are just lying because it makes everything easier.
“I love you.” you whisper hoarsely into my ear and I tense. You have never said those words out loud but that is not what scares me to death. There is something indescribable in your voice and it makes me unable to move as reality sinks in. I was wrong. This time you didn’t lie.
I don’t feel like laughing anymore.
Your fingertips find my neck and I feel goose bumps on my arms. You burn warm spots into my skin, the flames reaching my heart and consume it slowly and painfully. I force myself to move and I clash your chest with my back, leaning back slightly to feel every inch of your heated body. For the last time.
You turn me around and I can’t help but notice how your fingers tremble as they clasp my shoulder. Your eyes bore into mine but I doubt you can really see me through your tears. I kiss your eyes to prevent them from falling.
You breathe shakily as you dig your fingers into my hair, firmly and quickly, making me unable to turn my head away. How could you know that I wanted to?
Your lips are demanding as you press them to mine, you suck on my lower lip hard and your tongue sweeps over it hastily. It almost hurts but I don’t care. I open my mouth and taste the bittersweet kiss eagerly. I want to feel it, I want to feel you and everything you can’t tell me and pour into that one kiss. Our last kiss.
Your lips twitch as you suppress a sob but you refuse to break the kiss. It would be too soon. You want it to last a bit longer. Just one moment longer. Your hands grab my hair tighter, desperately, pleadingly but you can’t hold on any longer. You gasp loudly when our lips finally part and I feel the cold air stabbing my lungs without the warmth of your mouth. You lower your head to hide the pain which is so evident on your face. You don’t want to hurt me.
I place a shaky hand on the top of your head but I can’t feel your wavy hair under my fingertips. I brush through it nevertheless.
Your fingers are still buried in my locks but your grip is not that firm anymore. You are letting me go.
I reach out for your hands and feel how sweaty they are. You raise your head, your eyes roam over my face as if you want to memorize it. I feel a squeeze on my hand, hesitant and effortless.
Your grip tightens once more and you pull me closer by my nape. You don’t hug me, just brush your nose over my neck and give it a little peck.
Then it is over. You pull away and just stand there with silent tears and unspoken words.
I want to pull you back just as much as I want push you away. “Go.” came the whisper from my lips and I don’t know how I could find the strength to speak.
Our hands separate and you give me a last glance before turning away. I don’t think I would ever be able to forget that look.
I hear your muffled sobs from outside as the front door closes with a soft thud. But I’m not sure they are your sobs or mine.
Tonight I let myself think of you a bit. For the last time.