Amber 07./12. // akame
amber 07.
kame/jin // (koki/maru and surprise pairings)
pg-15 for this chapter // fluff, romance, angst // AU
word count (for this chapter). 6,361
It was devoted, it was passionate, it was love. Perfect, wonderful and so very fragile.
o7. Amethyst
“Kamenashi-san, I thought I gave you an appointment for Thursday.”
“Please, doctor, just take a look at him.”
The doctor looked at Kazuya, his eyes shining coldly behind his glasses, his whole posture screaming superiority. Kazuya didn't like this man at all.
“Patients are waiting for me, Kamenashi-san. Patients, who did have an appointment.”
Kazuya steeled his gaze and cut the doctor's way. “Please, just give us two minutes. The medicine you prescribed didn't help.”
“I already told you, it's not a matter of days. It will need weeks to have an effect.”
“He had a relapse yesterday again. Just like last week, I almost had to bring him to the ER. Please, doctor, take a look at him.”
Kazuya was very well aware of the fact that he was begging but pride was not important to him anymore. He had long thrown it away.
The professor's lips twitched in distaste. “Time is valuable, Kamenashi-san. If you pay for the time I'm going to take away from other patients, then I will check on your son.”
Of course, what else could soften the old man's heart if not money? Kazuya was prepared, nothing could be a surprise for him anymore when it came to doctors.
“Okay, thank you, doctor,” he gritted through his teeth and bowed before spinning around.
“Tat-chan, come,” he waved to the other man who started walking fast, in his hands holding the tiny fingers of the little boy.
Kohaku looked calmly at his father before releasing Ueda's hand and took hold on his father's. It made Kazuya want to whimper painfully to see how much Kohaku was used to doctors and hospitals; he didn't look even a little bit scared like any healthy kid would. Kazuya squeezed his hand and ushered him into the room. “Come on, Kohaku, it's going to take only a minute, okay?”
“I'm waiting for you outside,” Ueda called after them. Kazuya shot him a grateful look then closed the door.
-
“What did he say?”
Kazuya pursed his lips and dropped himself down on the bench, pulling Kohaku into his lap. He cleared his throat and forced a smile. “It will take time for the medicine to take effect. If it won't, he will raise the dose.”
Ueda sighed and was ready to throw back something witty to send the doctor to hell and back but the little figure in Kazuya's lap suddenly waved his hand in front of his face to draw his attention to himself. “Don't worry, nii-chan, I'm fine.”
Kazuya buried his face into his hands behind Kohaku's back and took deep breaths. Even if he knew how mature Kohaku could behave, he could always say something that made Kazuya's heart sink into his stomach.
Ueda laughed at what Kohaku said though he sounded quite pained and ruffled the boy's hair. “I know you're fine. You're going to be healthy in no time, right?”
Kohaku grinned and nodded enthusiastically. “Right. I don't want daddy to worry about me.”
Kazuya pressed a kiss on the top of the boy's head and held him a little bit tighter. He didn't know if there would ever be a time when he didn't have to worry for this tiny little boy but it was heartwarming to hear how Kohaku cared for him.
The boy coninued to chat with Ueda and Kazuya indulged in the sight of the smiling child. It was incredible how cheerful he could be even though he was in pain almost constantly. Kazuya always felt everything that he saw on his son's face. Every time Kohaku wasn't feeling well, Kazuya just wanted to die.
The worst thing was the helplessness, the non-stop waiting for something to happen, to wait if one day he would leave his home and come back to something horrible; Ueda telling him that Kohaku was in hospital or even worse.
Never, not even for one second could he strip out of that fearful feeling, the worry. Maybe, very rarely, for one second or two. But even then there was a constant nagging in the back of his mind, hidden amongst his thoughts, never leaving him alone.
Whenever he looked at Kohaku, he felt warmth and mind-numbing fear. Kohaku was his life, the only reason why he survived that Hiromi left him back then, the strength that needed for him to try the impossible, to deceive anyone, not thinking of what price he would have to pay in the end.
He hated that he couldn't see any other solution. He hated to hurt others, he hated what he saw in Jin's eyes.
But Jin didn't understand. No one could really understand what he was going through, no one who didn't have to fight the war he was forced to fight and all he heard in return was a couple of 'maybe's' and 'you need to wait's'. Kazuya hated to wait like nothing else. How many time he heard that in his life, he couldn't count. And the hope that he was trying so desperately to hold onto was fading bit by bit with every passing day. But it was not an option to give up. It never was.
“Daddy, is that right? Daddy, is that right?”
Kazuya was shaken out of his thoughts by Kohaku poking him on the stomach and he smiled at him, brushing some stray strands out of the boy's face. “What is, sweetie?”
“That we are going to the sea in the summer with Tatsuya-nii? We're going, right, daddy?”
Kazuya was especially bad at resisting his son's pleading eyes but he warned himself not to make promises which perhaps would be impossible to keep. “We'll see, Kohaku. If everything will be alright, we will go.”
The child's eyes became huge as he widened them and turned back to Ueda with a happy grin, shoving his thumb up into Useda's face. Kazuya could feel the painful sting in his heart again and couldn't resist to lovingly brush over the boy's back, pretending to only adjust the sweater on him.
“Kame, we should go before it turns dark.”
Kazuya looked up and stared into the setting sun that painted the horizon bright orange; the sight reminded him of the day when he met Jin at the park for the first time. He nodded and forced his attention back to his son and his best friend. “Okay. Do you have all the medicines?”
“I have everything with me.” Ueda patted his bag and reached out his hand for Kohaku.
“Thank you for taking care of him, Tat-chan. If there is anything-”
“Everything's going to be okay, Kame. Is that right, Kohaku?”
The boy suddenly pouted and sank further into Kazuya's lap, eyes fixed on his shoes. “What's wrong, sweetie, hm?”
“I don't want to go with Tatsuya-nii,” his voice sounded dangerously thin and Kazuya sighed while he turned Kohaku around in his lap and tried to catch his gaze with his own.
“Kohaku, look at me.”
The boy didn't answer, just hung his head lower, the top of it brushed Kazuya's chest. “Kohaku, I told you to look at me, you know that I don't like it when you don't look at me while I'm talking to you.”
Kohaku lifted his head slowly, his eyes scared and filled with tears. “Are you angry at me, daddy?”
Kazuya wanted to choke himself then and there. “No, I'm not- I'm not angry, why would I be?” he said as softly as he can, trying to show he wasn't upset with himself so much.
The boy shrugged and made Kazuya want to press his palms over his chest just to feel how his heart was breaking, for the hundreth time that day. “Come here,” he opened his arms and the boy jumped immediately into his embrace, hugging as much of his father's waist as he could reach with his tiny arms.
“I'm not angry at you, get this silly thought out of your head, okay? And now look at me,” Kazuya pulled away and Kohaku looked at him with huge, curious eyes. “Do you remember we've agreed that you're going to stay with Tatsuya-nii today? You're going to sleep over and I'm going for you tomorrow. I have something to do tonight.”
Kohaku sank deep in thoughts for a while then lifted his hand to fumble with the buttons of Kazuya's shirt. “Are you going to be there when I wake up?”
Kazuya smiled. “By the time you finish your breakfast, okay?”
Kohaku nodded.
“But only if you finish all of your breakfast. You know that I'm going to know if you don't,” Kazuya warned the boy, frowning playfully, pretending to be completely serious while wiggling his eyebrows.
Kohaku burst into giggles and buried his head into his father's chest. “I knoooooow.”
Smiling wide, Kazuya ruffled his son's hair and placed a kiss on the top of his hair before cupping Kohaku's face and turning it to him. “Kohaku, if you're not feeling well or feel anything weird, you tell Tatsuya-nii about it. Immediately, understand?”
The boy nodded.
“Okay, now go. See you in the morning.”
Kohaku slipped out of Kazuya's lap and let his father stand up as well then looked at him, a bit taken aback.
Kazuya wanted to cry an ocean right then. “Oh please, don't look at me like that,” he whispered and kneeled down, pulling Kohaku close and hugging him. “I'm going for you in the morning. Go.”
“It's going to be okay, Kame, don't worry.”
Kazuya didn't let himself wonder about the absurditiy of the request, just nodded mutely, then let Kohaku go and stood up. He felt as if his legs were made of iron as the distance between him and his son grew. It was never easy to leave Kohaku for a couple of hours and he had never done it for a whole night. Now it felt as if one half of his body would have gone missing, along with his heart.
He was terrified. Incredibly scared of what was going to happen that night. He was afraid of Jin's reaction when he told him he couldn't get the gem stones back. He didn't mind if Jin wanted to beat him half-dead or took everything away from him. The only thing he was genuinly scared for was the possibility of never be able to see his son again if things turned out for the worse.
And he knew he would die if that happened.
-
Unlike last time, Jin now forced himself not to look around. He didn't look at the dirty streets, didn't glance at the suspicious-looking people. He couldn't; or better to say he didn't want to acknowledge the fact that Kazuya and his ill son lived in such a disturbing neighborhood. He just shut himself from the outside world and walked in a robot-like manner, putting one foot after the other automatically.
The building seemed to be even more rigid and unfriendly than it did the first time and Jin's heart felt heavier with every step he took on the stars. That anger that he wanted to find in himself so bad, was nowhere now. He felt only uneasy and numb.
When the door opened he needed all his strength to maintain the nutrual expression that he had been forcing on his features.
Kazuya looked like he had been waiting for Jin. His face was determined and firm though it was obvious he was upset hidden under that mask of calmness. There were bags under his eyes, he looked as if he hadn't been sleeping for weeks.
Was he that exhausted last time too? Jin couldn't remember.
Kazuya stepped aside without a word and let Jin enter, gently closing the door behind him.
The older man walked in and stood in the middle of the tiny living room, just like the last time and he didn't talk either.
Kazuya walked after him and stopped in front of him, leaving a distance of a couple of steps between them and raised his gaze at him. “I don't have the stones, Jin.”
Jin would be lying if he said that came as a surprise. “Where is he?”
The younger man looked confused.
“Kohaku. Where is he?”
Kazuya inhaled sharply. “How-”
Jin tilted his head to indicate how unnecessary the question was.
“Of course. You found me, you have connections. It wouldn't be a problem to get to know his name, right?”
“Where is he?” Jin repeated, a part of his mind told him that his insistance to the answer was more than ridiculous. He himself didn't even know why he wanted to know it so bad.
“Why?” Kazuya narrowed his eyes.
“Just answer me,” Jin ordered coldly. “Is he here or somewhere else?”
For a moment, the same fearful expression flashed on Kazuya's face Jin saw the other time.
Jin could read fear clearly written on his face and laughed bitterly. “Jesus, Kazuya, what do you think of me? Do you think I could take an innocent child away from his father? I am not a criminal.”
The beautiful face mirrored a disturbing mixture of relief and guilt. Kazuya cleared his throat and lowered himself on the chair in the middle of the room. Jin would bet the movement was rather necessary than a question of comfort. Kazuya just needed to sit down.
“He is at my friend's place. I didn't want him to hear us.”
Jin agreed whole-heartedly in himself though he really wanted to see the kid. Last time he wasn't in the state to be aware of anything else than the obvious resemblance between father and son.
“Jin,” Kazuya called after him and Jin turned his head away in discomfort, he didn't want to look at Kazuya, he was afraid of doing something that wasn't following any kind of logic. “I couldn't get the stones back and I will never be able to.”
Jin felt a bit taken aback. Not by what Kazuya said - he knew that long ago - but by how Kazuya said it. It was shocking how Kazuya could change his tone of voice in a blink of an eye - it had to be something he learnt and made use of in this profession of deceiving others. Now his voice was firm and fearless. Jin didn't know if Kazuya was planning something that suddenly made him that calm or just yielded to his fate and now he was waiting for Jin to do anything he wanted.
Jin would have placed his bet on the latter but it would be so illogical and stupid from Kazuya's side. And Jin didn't want him to think that he was ready to listen to whatever he had to say. He couldn't let him see any sign of sympathy from him. Now he was the one dealing the cards and he didn't let himself or Kazuya move on so easily. It didn't matter that Kazuya was a victim as well, it shouldn't matter just yet.
Besides all that, Jin still had some question that he wanted to get answers to. So he just spared Kazuya an ice cold glare and sat down in the other chair. Kazuya followed his every move, most probably trying to predict Jin's next move.
"How did you choose me?"
Kazuya looked shocked by the question and hesitated.
"I guess it wasn't a coincidence that we met at the café that day," Kazuya still didn't react and Jin sent him a mocking and bitter smile. "It wasn't fate that made us meet so romantically, it was all part of your plans, right?"
If Jin could see through his bitterness that made him utter those words so carelessly, he would have noticed how much he had revealed himself in that moment. Although he had never told Kazuya that he loved him, what he said now was almost equal to a confession. Because Jin was so certain back then that fate arranged their encounter and made it possible for him to be happy with this man.
Kazuya turned his head away from the hateful and pained expression that was directed at him; unlike Jin, he realized that the older man said something he never wanted to unless he lost control and let his emotions take over. But Jin did just that and that was just like another stab into the middle of Kazuya's heart.
“I told you that my job was to take orders-” Kazuya started quietly but Jin cut him off.
“So that wasn't a lie?”
Kazuya shook his head. “No, though I'm not working there anymore,” he hesitated but what Jin saw in his eyes in that moment could only be defined as resignation; Jin was fairly sure that whetever he would ask from Kazuya, he would tell the truth. “We used to design catalogues for companies interested in jewels so that was how I got to know about the company.”
“Why me?”
“You are the owner.”
“One of the owners,” Jin corrected him.
Kazuya shrugged. “Well, it's mostly a question of sympathy. If I find someone appealing, there is a bigger chance he will like me as well.”
Smiling bitterly, Jin nodded. “And then? How did you decide on how you would make me fall into your trap?” Contept was obvious in his voice and Kazuya looked like he just wanted to dig a hole in the ground and live there forever.
“I followed you," he whispered.
Jin stared at him in momentarily speechlessness then let out a quiet laugh. “This is really like a drama.”
“Jin-”
“So you planned it all out. You made me trust in you, you waited until I became careless, you lied into my face, was pretending to be a devoted boyfriend, then when Koki recoginzed you, you realized that was your last chance to do what you've been preparing to do. It all was going right for you except for Koki. He wasn't part of your plans, right?”
“Jin-”
“How could you open the safe? How did you discover the code?
Kazuya gulped and turned his head away. “I needed a little time but I knew that a person who works with gem stones and also believes in what they mean can't choose a password randomly,” he explained quietly.
Jin wondered if he really was that easy to figure out.
“Emerald. The gem stone of your zodiac. It always took a sinificant place in the display cabinet so I thought it was perfect to give some kind of password for the safe. I asked myself what numbers you could attach to a stone. Then I realized. I replaced the letter of the word EMERALD with numbers according to the place they are in the English alphabet, the numbers were the following: 5 13 5 18 1 12 4, but this was too long for a code. Then I remembered what you said. You said that repetition is never good, except for... “ Kazuya raised an eyebrow. “In bed. So I threw all the numbers out that were repeated and the rest was the password; 5 1 3 8 2 4.”
Jin could swear he heard his jaw knock against the floor. Kazuya was nothing to joke about. He always knew that the man was clever but that was beyond any expectation. Jin assumed that Kazuya may have found the code somewhere, maybe Jin was careless enough years ago to have written it on a piece of paper and Kazuya found it but he could never imagine that he figured it out by himself. On top of all, his logic was perfect. Jin went through the exactly same steps when he came up with those numbers.
Kazuya shifted a little when he felt Jin's incredulous and intensive gaze on him, probably wondering why he was not speaking.
“When did you find it out?”
Kazuya hesitated with the answer, pressing his lips together and not looking at Jin.
“When, Kazuya?” Jin raised his voice.
“About three weeks ago.”
“And why haven't you done something before? Why didn't you get the stones earlier? You got a key to my house for more than a month now.”
“Yes... well... I don't know... I was just... waiting...”
“For what?”
Kazuya was apparently nervous then let out an anxious sigh. “I didn't do it because I like it, Jin. I was hoping until the last minute that I didn't need to do it.”
Jin snorted mockingly, then laughed. “Sure.”
Kazuya didn't really know what to answer to that. He obviously couldn't ask Jin to believe him whatever he said after all he had done; that wasn't surprising. There was something else going on in Jin's mind, he was quite sure.
Jin was deep in thoughts and Kazuya was about to call his name when Jin started speaking again, quietly, suddenly looking at Kazuya with tired eyes. “Did you do the same thing with Koki, too?”
Kazuya fixed his gaze on his feet. “It was a bit easier with him.”
“Why?”
“Koki was more careless and more predictable. I was the first one he has ever fallen in love with and he was behaving just like me when I fell in love with-”
“Hiromi?”
Surprised, Kazuya was gaping for a moment then just nodded silently.
“How many people have you deceived so far?” Jin forced his voice to come out evenly, it was harder to speak by the minute and he needed all his strength to press those words out of his mouth. “How many?”
Kazuya buried his face in his palm. “Enough. Jin, this-”
“You know what? I changed my mind, I don't want to know,” Jin waved his hand in a protesting manner, eyes reflecting hurt. “Just... tell me about him instead.”
“Him?” Kazuya asked, hoping that the question was not referring to whom he thought it was. His hopes were washed away when Jin looked at him again.
“Kohaku. What kind of illness does he have?”
Kazuya breathed out, his face losing some color. He wasn't in the position to be able to deny any answer Jin wanted to know.
“Kohaku... he has a heart disease.”
“Since birth?”
“No. He fell ill when he was four months old. When Hiromi left us.”
“Why did she leave you?”
“We... we were very young when we got married. I think, I think Hiromi wasn't really prepared for all this. A couple of weeks after we got married, she got pregnant. We didn't plan it but it wasn't a question whether we should keep the child or not,” there was a sad smile on Kazuya's face. “I was really happy when Kohaku was born but after that Hiromi started to drift away from me, there was a distance between us and between her and Kohaku too. She fell into depression, she tried to commit suicide and she was under psychiatric treatment for months. Then she told me she couldn't go on like that anymore. One day I came home from work to find her standing at the door with bags and suitcases, the petition for the divorce in her hand. I didn't say anything just signed it. That was the last time I saw Hiromi.”
“Shit,” Jin exclaimed despite himself, he didn't even know if that was directed at Kazuya or Hiromi, the only thing he knew just to imagine that scene pissed him off to no end. What kind of mother would be able to leave her child like that?
“A few days after Hiromi left Kohaku got sick,” Kazuya continued, stumbling over the words. “It seemed to be a simple cold, he was having fever. I took him to the doctor and he said the same. He prescribed some pills and sent us home. Then his condition got worse. He didn't really regain consciousness no matter how I tried to wake him up.”
Jin noticed how Kazuya's hand began to shake by recalling the memories. At the same time, he took note how his own hands did the same.
“I took him to hospital. It turned out that it was rheumatic fever which caused inflammation in his heart. They said such things could happen,” Kazuya laughed so bitterly that Jin shivered. “They were treating him for five months until he recovered. But the illness tired his heart out. He will probably never heal completely,” Kazuya almost whispered the last words.
“This is a bullshit,” Jin snapped.
“But that's what they say. Kohaku is five years old now, we've been going from one doctor to another for five years now, none of them has ever said anything reassuring. He often feels unwell he has relapses. There are good periods and there are worse ones. He can't play with other kids, we can't go on a holiday and I never dare leave him alone.”
Jin squeezed his eyes shut. How cruel the fate is to an innocent child.
“So that's what the money is for. But why-”
“Why like this?” Kazuya burst out angrily. “I've paid so much for doctors, Jin, that you can't even imagine. I tried to earn money for it but it was almost impossible. When Kohaku was two years old I didn't get my payment in time once. I thought it was going to be okay, nothing could happen if I had to wait for another day to get his pills. But Kohaku had a seizure that night... and I almost lost him.”
Kazuya fell silent, it seemed like he wasn't able to continue. His voice was full of self-reproach.
“That wasn't your fault,” Jin said quietly, making Kazuya look at him, even angrier than before.
“How can you say that? He almost died because I couldn't pay for those fucking pills. I decided then that something like that would never happen again. That whatever it will take, I will get what he needs, nothing and no one matters to me, only him. That was when I found my first victim. He was a rich asshole, I was disgusted by him so much that it made me feel sick to my stomach but it didn't matter. Because after that Kohaku was safe for a while. I realized that was the only way I could get money. Enough money to pay for his treatment and medication,”
Kazuya was talking faster and more nervously, his despair was so evident as if he was throwing it right into Jin's face, who didn't know how much more bitterness he could take. “I've tried other things as well. I've tried to be honest, to ask for help. Everyone who was attracted to me left me without hesitation when I told them about Kohaku's illness. People don't want to help, Jin. They care for nothing but themselves. So I also decided I will care for nothing and no one. Look, I'm very sorry that I hurt you and used you. I wasn't thinking, I didn't think of anything else but my son.”
Jin tried very hard to pretend he didn't hear the apology. “Couldn't you ask for help from your parents or-”
The younger man shook his head. “My parents are quite poor as well, my father often gets sick. Since we came to Tokyo I didn't see my parents much. My mother needs to be by my father's side and we could never afford paying for the trip. Not to mention the fact that Kohaku is rarely in a condition that I would allow him to travel. My son barely knows his grandparents.”
It was that painful stab again that pierced through Jin's heart. He didn't think all what Kazuya and that little boy went through could be made even worse and heart-wrenching.
That moment Jin knew he was about to make a decision and knew that if he fled from that mess he was in, he would regret it for his entire life. But to be honest, he wanted nothing else than to go back in time - he who has never asked anything similar before - and make it all undone. He wished he didn't know about all that, he wished for Kazuya to have never entered his life. He wished he just once had bothered to ask a picture of Koki's boyfriend and all this would have been avoided. Then he wouldn't have gotten into this so deep that now he couldn't get out.
He didn't even want to look at Kazuya anymore though he wasn't being delusional, he knew love didn't fade away just like that, overnight. Disappointment, bitterness and the intense pain overwhelmed any other positive feelings towards the younger man but the love that had become part of him couldn't just be ripped out of his heart; it was just buried under the bitterness of betrayal.
And Jin knew that there was one more thing which kept him tied to this so tight and that was the child. An innocent boy and that desperation Jin sensed as if it was about his own son and what made Kazuya do what he had done.
Jin cleared his throat. “There is chance for you to pay back what you stole."
Shocked, Kazuya looked at him, mixture of fear and surprise on his face. Jin forced himself not to think about how different that expression was from the one Kazuya was wearing and what allured Jin so much when they met.
“Jin, I don't have money.”
“I know,” Jin said coldly. “I have an offer for you.”
Kazuya's face lit up with hope though fear still ruled his features. He stayed silent and waited for Jin to continue.
Jin gave up the fight with himself and his sanity. And decided.
“I pay for the treatment and the medication.”
Kazuya's eyes widened.
“I won't set up a limit or a deadline. I don't know that much about Kohaku's condition that I could do that. I will help you financially until you need it.”
Kazuya apparently didn't believe his ears. “Why?” he whispered.
“Becasue I have a heart, Kazuya,” Jin snapped at him. “I am not a criminal. I can't turn my back on a child who has nothing to do with your dirty games.”
The choice of words made Kazuya cast his eyes downwards, trying to comrpehend what he just heard. “What do you want in return?”
Jin took a breath. Oh yes, nothing was for free. “You caused a lot of trouble for the company, the gap in the budget is huge and you ruined our most promising deal. We need to get back into a good position in the market again. You will help with that. If you really designed catalogues before, if you can really do that work then help us find new partners and get back what we had lost.”
Kazuya nodded to himself. That was clear, so far, so good.
“Besides that,” Jin continued and waited for Kazuya to look at him again. “I want you two to move out of here.”
“Jin, I don't-”
“This neighborhood is the most disgusting I've ever seen. It will do no good to Kohaku. I have a guest room in my house. You will move in there.”
Kazuya gaped in surprise.
“So you can work from home and take care of your son at the same time. You know the place, you know that you can go to anywhere without getting Kohaku in danger. And that will be good for me too, since you can take care of the house and I can keep an eye on you as well.”
It took Kazuya a couple of minutes to put his mind into action again. He buried his face into his hands again and breathed in deeply. “I don't know-”
“You don't have to answer me now. Think it over. I'm not blackmailing you, Kazuya, I'm not going to the police if you reject me, it's far too late for that. But keep in mind that Kohaku would get everything he needs, you wouldn't have to count every yen that the treatment and medication require and you don't have to do what you did to me and Koki anymore.”
Kazuya's mind reeled, thoughts swirling in his head at such a speed that he had to grasp the arms of the chair. Was it really possible? Was it possible that this would solve their problems? That he wouldn't need to sit planning who he should deceive and rob next time? That Kohaku would be happy, that he would be healthier? They would be able to go the park without being afraid of the people lurking around? That he could work and stay home and wouldn't need to ask others to take care of his ill son?
The younger man was shaken out of his thoughts when Jin stood up and slipped his hands into his pockets. “Well, let me know if you decided.”
“Jin,” Kazuya called after him, making Jin stop immediately. “You do know that this is an offer I can't reject, right?”
Jin tilted his head to the side, his expression serious and genuine. “You always have a choice, Kazuya.”
“If I want my son to be safe, I don't.”
Jin hummed in response. “Then can I take this as a yes?”
Kazuya sighed, looking directly into Jin's eyes. “Yes.”
“Good. Are a couple of days enough to pack your things?”
“Two days are enough,” Kazuya answered quietly.
Jin nodded. “Okay. I'm going for you in two days.”
Jin could vaguely sensed how ambiguous that sounded and he wanted to choke himself for being that weak. Kazuya gave a nod in agreement and Jin turned away, storming out the apartment, into the darkness of the night and he could already feel that his life was going to take a different turn form what he imagined. Again.
-
“Kame? Is everything alright?” Ueda's eyes were wide when he glanced a very upset Kazuya at his doorstep later that night and was swept off his feet by a gigantic hug his best friend greeted him with. His arms were shaking around him, Ueda noticed.
Kazuya pulled away after a while, and mustered a small but honest smile. “Yes. I wanted to see Kohaku.”
Ueda pulled him further inside his apartment, closing the door behind him. “He's sleeping in my bed, everything's okay.”
Kazuya nodded as he rubbed the back of his hand on his lips, shiny eyes darting around as if he didn't know what to say or do. He seemed so upset but Ueda could feel the explanation could wait for the next morning.
“Go to him, sleep there. I'll take the sofa.”
Kazuya just grabbed his hand and squeezed it, quickly disappearing towards the bedroom. When he glimpsed the tiny figure curled up under the covers, he grinned to himself. Quickly stripping out of his clothes, he slipped under the covers, pulling the little body close to himself. Kohaku didn't wake up just snuggled closer to the familiar heat of his father's body, sighing a little to himself.
Kazuya listened to his breathing for a long time before drifting to sleep. It had been long he slept so well that he did that night.
Amethyst
Crystalline quartz in shades of purple, lilac or mauve is called amethyst, a stone traditionally worn to guard against drunkeness and to instill a sober mind. The word amethyst comes from the Greek meaning "without drunkenness" and amethyst is believed to protect one from poison.
It is used as a dream stone and to help insomnia. Put an amethyst under your pillow to bring about pleasant dreams, or rub it across your forehead to offer relief from a headache.
Ancient Egyptians used the amethyst guard against guilty and fearful feelings. It has been worn as protection from self-deception, as well as a protection against witchcraft. The amethyst has long been used to open the spiritual and psychic centers, making it one of the power stones. It is also used as a meditation aid when worn as a necklace.
The amethyst is known as the Bishop's Stone and is still worn by Catholic Bishops. The amethyst symbolizes piety, humility, sincerity and spiritual wisdom. It is thought the amethyst is the perfect stone to symbolize The Age of Aquarius.
Amethyst is a gemstone often worn by healers, as it has the power to focus energy. A healer will usually wear several pieces of jewelry with amethysts set in silver, especially an amethyst necklace. The person to be healed will have an Amethyst to hold while the healing is being done. The healer will place another piece of Amethyst on the area of the body in need of healing, the heart or lungs usually.
Amethyst is used for problems in the blood and in breathing problems. Amethyst crystal clusters are used to keep the air and life force in the home clean and positive.
Amethyst clusters, points or several tumbled Amethysts placed in a window that receives sun most of the day are very beneficial to use in healing and to heal negativity in the home. Place Amethyst clusters, points or several tumbled Amethysts in moonlight and everyone in the home will be feeling calmer. Using an Amethyst as a meditation focus will increase the positive spiritual feelings. Amethyst helps overcome fears and cravings. It also helps relieve headaches.
a/n. I'm fast as lightning, don't you think?
Now you know more about the Kamenashi family, and you had lots of Akame interaction. We'll see how Jin will be able to deal with the new situation, hm?
Hope you enjoyed. Comments are loved just like always.
Later, sweethearts<3
a/n. I just can't with this new lj. Just can't.
kame/jin // (koki/maru and surprise pairings)
pg-15 for this chapter // fluff, romance, angst // AU
word count (for this chapter). 6,361
It was devoted, it was passionate, it was love. Perfect, wonderful and so very fragile.
o7. Amethyst
“Kamenashi-san, I thought I gave you an appointment for Thursday.”
“Please, doctor, just take a look at him.”
The doctor looked at Kazuya, his eyes shining coldly behind his glasses, his whole posture screaming superiority. Kazuya didn't like this man at all.
“Patients are waiting for me, Kamenashi-san. Patients, who did have an appointment.”
Kazuya steeled his gaze and cut the doctor's way. “Please, just give us two minutes. The medicine you prescribed didn't help.”
“I already told you, it's not a matter of days. It will need weeks to have an effect.”
“He had a relapse yesterday again. Just like last week, I almost had to bring him to the ER. Please, doctor, take a look at him.”
Kazuya was very well aware of the fact that he was begging but pride was not important to him anymore. He had long thrown it away.
The professor's lips twitched in distaste. “Time is valuable, Kamenashi-san. If you pay for the time I'm going to take away from other patients, then I will check on your son.”
Of course, what else could soften the old man's heart if not money? Kazuya was prepared, nothing could be a surprise for him anymore when it came to doctors.
“Okay, thank you, doctor,” he gritted through his teeth and bowed before spinning around.
“Tat-chan, come,” he waved to the other man who started walking fast, in his hands holding the tiny fingers of the little boy.
Kohaku looked calmly at his father before releasing Ueda's hand and took hold on his father's. It made Kazuya want to whimper painfully to see how much Kohaku was used to doctors and hospitals; he didn't look even a little bit scared like any healthy kid would. Kazuya squeezed his hand and ushered him into the room. “Come on, Kohaku, it's going to take only a minute, okay?”
“I'm waiting for you outside,” Ueda called after them. Kazuya shot him a grateful look then closed the door.
-
“What did he say?”
Kazuya pursed his lips and dropped himself down on the bench, pulling Kohaku into his lap. He cleared his throat and forced a smile. “It will take time for the medicine to take effect. If it won't, he will raise the dose.”
Ueda sighed and was ready to throw back something witty to send the doctor to hell and back but the little figure in Kazuya's lap suddenly waved his hand in front of his face to draw his attention to himself. “Don't worry, nii-chan, I'm fine.”
Kazuya buried his face into his hands behind Kohaku's back and took deep breaths. Even if he knew how mature Kohaku could behave, he could always say something that made Kazuya's heart sink into his stomach.
Ueda laughed at what Kohaku said though he sounded quite pained and ruffled the boy's hair. “I know you're fine. You're going to be healthy in no time, right?”
Kohaku grinned and nodded enthusiastically. “Right. I don't want daddy to worry about me.”
Kazuya pressed a kiss on the top of the boy's head and held him a little bit tighter. He didn't know if there would ever be a time when he didn't have to worry for this tiny little boy but it was heartwarming to hear how Kohaku cared for him.
The boy coninued to chat with Ueda and Kazuya indulged in the sight of the smiling child. It was incredible how cheerful he could be even though he was in pain almost constantly. Kazuya always felt everything that he saw on his son's face. Every time Kohaku wasn't feeling well, Kazuya just wanted to die.
The worst thing was the helplessness, the non-stop waiting for something to happen, to wait if one day he would leave his home and come back to something horrible; Ueda telling him that Kohaku was in hospital or even worse.
Never, not even for one second could he strip out of that fearful feeling, the worry. Maybe, very rarely, for one second or two. But even then there was a constant nagging in the back of his mind, hidden amongst his thoughts, never leaving him alone.
Whenever he looked at Kohaku, he felt warmth and mind-numbing fear. Kohaku was his life, the only reason why he survived that Hiromi left him back then, the strength that needed for him to try the impossible, to deceive anyone, not thinking of what price he would have to pay in the end.
He hated that he couldn't see any other solution. He hated to hurt others, he hated what he saw in Jin's eyes.
But Jin didn't understand. No one could really understand what he was going through, no one who didn't have to fight the war he was forced to fight and all he heard in return was a couple of 'maybe's' and 'you need to wait's'. Kazuya hated to wait like nothing else. How many time he heard that in his life, he couldn't count. And the hope that he was trying so desperately to hold onto was fading bit by bit with every passing day. But it was not an option to give up. It never was.
“Daddy, is that right? Daddy, is that right?”
Kazuya was shaken out of his thoughts by Kohaku poking him on the stomach and he smiled at him, brushing some stray strands out of the boy's face. “What is, sweetie?”
“That we are going to the sea in the summer with Tatsuya-nii? We're going, right, daddy?”
Kazuya was especially bad at resisting his son's pleading eyes but he warned himself not to make promises which perhaps would be impossible to keep. “We'll see, Kohaku. If everything will be alright, we will go.”
The child's eyes became huge as he widened them and turned back to Ueda with a happy grin, shoving his thumb up into Useda's face. Kazuya could feel the painful sting in his heart again and couldn't resist to lovingly brush over the boy's back, pretending to only adjust the sweater on him.
“Kame, we should go before it turns dark.”
Kazuya looked up and stared into the setting sun that painted the horizon bright orange; the sight reminded him of the day when he met Jin at the park for the first time. He nodded and forced his attention back to his son and his best friend. “Okay. Do you have all the medicines?”
“I have everything with me.” Ueda patted his bag and reached out his hand for Kohaku.
“Thank you for taking care of him, Tat-chan. If there is anything-”
“Everything's going to be okay, Kame. Is that right, Kohaku?”
The boy suddenly pouted and sank further into Kazuya's lap, eyes fixed on his shoes. “What's wrong, sweetie, hm?”
“I don't want to go with Tatsuya-nii,” his voice sounded dangerously thin and Kazuya sighed while he turned Kohaku around in his lap and tried to catch his gaze with his own.
“Kohaku, look at me.”
The boy didn't answer, just hung his head lower, the top of it brushed Kazuya's chest. “Kohaku, I told you to look at me, you know that I don't like it when you don't look at me while I'm talking to you.”
Kohaku lifted his head slowly, his eyes scared and filled with tears. “Are you angry at me, daddy?”
Kazuya wanted to choke himself then and there. “No, I'm not- I'm not angry, why would I be?” he said as softly as he can, trying to show he wasn't upset with himself so much.
The boy shrugged and made Kazuya want to press his palms over his chest just to feel how his heart was breaking, for the hundreth time that day. “Come here,” he opened his arms and the boy jumped immediately into his embrace, hugging as much of his father's waist as he could reach with his tiny arms.
“I'm not angry at you, get this silly thought out of your head, okay? And now look at me,” Kazuya pulled away and Kohaku looked at him with huge, curious eyes. “Do you remember we've agreed that you're going to stay with Tatsuya-nii today? You're going to sleep over and I'm going for you tomorrow. I have something to do tonight.”
Kohaku sank deep in thoughts for a while then lifted his hand to fumble with the buttons of Kazuya's shirt. “Are you going to be there when I wake up?”
Kazuya smiled. “By the time you finish your breakfast, okay?”
Kohaku nodded.
“But only if you finish all of your breakfast. You know that I'm going to know if you don't,” Kazuya warned the boy, frowning playfully, pretending to be completely serious while wiggling his eyebrows.
Kohaku burst into giggles and buried his head into his father's chest. “I knoooooow.”
Smiling wide, Kazuya ruffled his son's hair and placed a kiss on the top of his hair before cupping Kohaku's face and turning it to him. “Kohaku, if you're not feeling well or feel anything weird, you tell Tatsuya-nii about it. Immediately, understand?”
The boy nodded.
“Okay, now go. See you in the morning.”
Kohaku slipped out of Kazuya's lap and let his father stand up as well then looked at him, a bit taken aback.
Kazuya wanted to cry an ocean right then. “Oh please, don't look at me like that,” he whispered and kneeled down, pulling Kohaku close and hugging him. “I'm going for you in the morning. Go.”
“It's going to be okay, Kame, don't worry.”
Kazuya didn't let himself wonder about the absurditiy of the request, just nodded mutely, then let Kohaku go and stood up. He felt as if his legs were made of iron as the distance between him and his son grew. It was never easy to leave Kohaku for a couple of hours and he had never done it for a whole night. Now it felt as if one half of his body would have gone missing, along with his heart.
He was terrified. Incredibly scared of what was going to happen that night. He was afraid of Jin's reaction when he told him he couldn't get the gem stones back. He didn't mind if Jin wanted to beat him half-dead or took everything away from him. The only thing he was genuinly scared for was the possibility of never be able to see his son again if things turned out for the worse.
And he knew he would die if that happened.
-
Unlike last time, Jin now forced himself not to look around. He didn't look at the dirty streets, didn't glance at the suspicious-looking people. He couldn't; or better to say he didn't want to acknowledge the fact that Kazuya and his ill son lived in such a disturbing neighborhood. He just shut himself from the outside world and walked in a robot-like manner, putting one foot after the other automatically.
The building seemed to be even more rigid and unfriendly than it did the first time and Jin's heart felt heavier with every step he took on the stars. That anger that he wanted to find in himself so bad, was nowhere now. He felt only uneasy and numb.
When the door opened he needed all his strength to maintain the nutrual expression that he had been forcing on his features.
Kazuya looked like he had been waiting for Jin. His face was determined and firm though it was obvious he was upset hidden under that mask of calmness. There were bags under his eyes, he looked as if he hadn't been sleeping for weeks.
Was he that exhausted last time too? Jin couldn't remember.
Kazuya stepped aside without a word and let Jin enter, gently closing the door behind him.
The older man walked in and stood in the middle of the tiny living room, just like the last time and he didn't talk either.
Kazuya walked after him and stopped in front of him, leaving a distance of a couple of steps between them and raised his gaze at him. “I don't have the stones, Jin.”
Jin would be lying if he said that came as a surprise. “Where is he?”
The younger man looked confused.
“Kohaku. Where is he?”
Kazuya inhaled sharply. “How-”
Jin tilted his head to indicate how unnecessary the question was.
“Of course. You found me, you have connections. It wouldn't be a problem to get to know his name, right?”
“Where is he?” Jin repeated, a part of his mind told him that his insistance to the answer was more than ridiculous. He himself didn't even know why he wanted to know it so bad.
“Why?” Kazuya narrowed his eyes.
“Just answer me,” Jin ordered coldly. “Is he here or somewhere else?”
For a moment, the same fearful expression flashed on Kazuya's face Jin saw the other time.
Jin could read fear clearly written on his face and laughed bitterly. “Jesus, Kazuya, what do you think of me? Do you think I could take an innocent child away from his father? I am not a criminal.”
The beautiful face mirrored a disturbing mixture of relief and guilt. Kazuya cleared his throat and lowered himself on the chair in the middle of the room. Jin would bet the movement was rather necessary than a question of comfort. Kazuya just needed to sit down.
“He is at my friend's place. I didn't want him to hear us.”
Jin agreed whole-heartedly in himself though he really wanted to see the kid. Last time he wasn't in the state to be aware of anything else than the obvious resemblance between father and son.
“Jin,” Kazuya called after him and Jin turned his head away in discomfort, he didn't want to look at Kazuya, he was afraid of doing something that wasn't following any kind of logic. “I couldn't get the stones back and I will never be able to.”
Jin felt a bit taken aback. Not by what Kazuya said - he knew that long ago - but by how Kazuya said it. It was shocking how Kazuya could change his tone of voice in a blink of an eye - it had to be something he learnt and made use of in this profession of deceiving others. Now his voice was firm and fearless. Jin didn't know if Kazuya was planning something that suddenly made him that calm or just yielded to his fate and now he was waiting for Jin to do anything he wanted.
Jin would have placed his bet on the latter but it would be so illogical and stupid from Kazuya's side. And Jin didn't want him to think that he was ready to listen to whatever he had to say. He couldn't let him see any sign of sympathy from him. Now he was the one dealing the cards and he didn't let himself or Kazuya move on so easily. It didn't matter that Kazuya was a victim as well, it shouldn't matter just yet.
Besides all that, Jin still had some question that he wanted to get answers to. So he just spared Kazuya an ice cold glare and sat down in the other chair. Kazuya followed his every move, most probably trying to predict Jin's next move.
"How did you choose me?"
Kazuya looked shocked by the question and hesitated.
"I guess it wasn't a coincidence that we met at the café that day," Kazuya still didn't react and Jin sent him a mocking and bitter smile. "It wasn't fate that made us meet so romantically, it was all part of your plans, right?"
If Jin could see through his bitterness that made him utter those words so carelessly, he would have noticed how much he had revealed himself in that moment. Although he had never told Kazuya that he loved him, what he said now was almost equal to a confession. Because Jin was so certain back then that fate arranged their encounter and made it possible for him to be happy with this man.
Kazuya turned his head away from the hateful and pained expression that was directed at him; unlike Jin, he realized that the older man said something he never wanted to unless he lost control and let his emotions take over. But Jin did just that and that was just like another stab into the middle of Kazuya's heart.
“I told you that my job was to take orders-” Kazuya started quietly but Jin cut him off.
“So that wasn't a lie?”
Kazuya shook his head. “No, though I'm not working there anymore,” he hesitated but what Jin saw in his eyes in that moment could only be defined as resignation; Jin was fairly sure that whetever he would ask from Kazuya, he would tell the truth. “We used to design catalogues for companies interested in jewels so that was how I got to know about the company.”
“Why me?”
“You are the owner.”
“One of the owners,” Jin corrected him.
Kazuya shrugged. “Well, it's mostly a question of sympathy. If I find someone appealing, there is a bigger chance he will like me as well.”
Smiling bitterly, Jin nodded. “And then? How did you decide on how you would make me fall into your trap?” Contept was obvious in his voice and Kazuya looked like he just wanted to dig a hole in the ground and live there forever.
“I followed you," he whispered.
Jin stared at him in momentarily speechlessness then let out a quiet laugh. “This is really like a drama.”
“Jin-”
“So you planned it all out. You made me trust in you, you waited until I became careless, you lied into my face, was pretending to be a devoted boyfriend, then when Koki recoginzed you, you realized that was your last chance to do what you've been preparing to do. It all was going right for you except for Koki. He wasn't part of your plans, right?”
“Jin-”
“How could you open the safe? How did you discover the code?
Kazuya gulped and turned his head away. “I needed a little time but I knew that a person who works with gem stones and also believes in what they mean can't choose a password randomly,” he explained quietly.
Jin wondered if he really was that easy to figure out.
“Emerald. The gem stone of your zodiac. It always took a sinificant place in the display cabinet so I thought it was perfect to give some kind of password for the safe. I asked myself what numbers you could attach to a stone. Then I realized. I replaced the letter of the word EMERALD with numbers according to the place they are in the English alphabet, the numbers were the following: 5 13 5 18 1 12 4, but this was too long for a code. Then I remembered what you said. You said that repetition is never good, except for... “ Kazuya raised an eyebrow. “In bed. So I threw all the numbers out that were repeated and the rest was the password; 5 1 3 8 2 4.”
Jin could swear he heard his jaw knock against the floor. Kazuya was nothing to joke about. He always knew that the man was clever but that was beyond any expectation. Jin assumed that Kazuya may have found the code somewhere, maybe Jin was careless enough years ago to have written it on a piece of paper and Kazuya found it but he could never imagine that he figured it out by himself. On top of all, his logic was perfect. Jin went through the exactly same steps when he came up with those numbers.
Kazuya shifted a little when he felt Jin's incredulous and intensive gaze on him, probably wondering why he was not speaking.
“When did you find it out?”
Kazuya hesitated with the answer, pressing his lips together and not looking at Jin.
“When, Kazuya?” Jin raised his voice.
“About three weeks ago.”
“And why haven't you done something before? Why didn't you get the stones earlier? You got a key to my house for more than a month now.”
“Yes... well... I don't know... I was just... waiting...”
“For what?”
Kazuya was apparently nervous then let out an anxious sigh. “I didn't do it because I like it, Jin. I was hoping until the last minute that I didn't need to do it.”
Jin snorted mockingly, then laughed. “Sure.”
Kazuya didn't really know what to answer to that. He obviously couldn't ask Jin to believe him whatever he said after all he had done; that wasn't surprising. There was something else going on in Jin's mind, he was quite sure.
Jin was deep in thoughts and Kazuya was about to call his name when Jin started speaking again, quietly, suddenly looking at Kazuya with tired eyes. “Did you do the same thing with Koki, too?”
Kazuya fixed his gaze on his feet. “It was a bit easier with him.”
“Why?”
“Koki was more careless and more predictable. I was the first one he has ever fallen in love with and he was behaving just like me when I fell in love with-”
“Hiromi?”
Surprised, Kazuya was gaping for a moment then just nodded silently.
“How many people have you deceived so far?” Jin forced his voice to come out evenly, it was harder to speak by the minute and he needed all his strength to press those words out of his mouth. “How many?”
Kazuya buried his face in his palm. “Enough. Jin, this-”
“You know what? I changed my mind, I don't want to know,” Jin waved his hand in a protesting manner, eyes reflecting hurt. “Just... tell me about him instead.”
“Him?” Kazuya asked, hoping that the question was not referring to whom he thought it was. His hopes were washed away when Jin looked at him again.
“Kohaku. What kind of illness does he have?”
Kazuya breathed out, his face losing some color. He wasn't in the position to be able to deny any answer Jin wanted to know.
“Kohaku... he has a heart disease.”
“Since birth?”
“No. He fell ill when he was four months old. When Hiromi left us.”
“Why did she leave you?”
“We... we were very young when we got married. I think, I think Hiromi wasn't really prepared for all this. A couple of weeks after we got married, she got pregnant. We didn't plan it but it wasn't a question whether we should keep the child or not,” there was a sad smile on Kazuya's face. “I was really happy when Kohaku was born but after that Hiromi started to drift away from me, there was a distance between us and between her and Kohaku too. She fell into depression, she tried to commit suicide and she was under psychiatric treatment for months. Then she told me she couldn't go on like that anymore. One day I came home from work to find her standing at the door with bags and suitcases, the petition for the divorce in her hand. I didn't say anything just signed it. That was the last time I saw Hiromi.”
“Shit,” Jin exclaimed despite himself, he didn't even know if that was directed at Kazuya or Hiromi, the only thing he knew just to imagine that scene pissed him off to no end. What kind of mother would be able to leave her child like that?
“A few days after Hiromi left Kohaku got sick,” Kazuya continued, stumbling over the words. “It seemed to be a simple cold, he was having fever. I took him to the doctor and he said the same. He prescribed some pills and sent us home. Then his condition got worse. He didn't really regain consciousness no matter how I tried to wake him up.”
Jin noticed how Kazuya's hand began to shake by recalling the memories. At the same time, he took note how his own hands did the same.
“I took him to hospital. It turned out that it was rheumatic fever which caused inflammation in his heart. They said such things could happen,” Kazuya laughed so bitterly that Jin shivered. “They were treating him for five months until he recovered. But the illness tired his heart out. He will probably never heal completely,” Kazuya almost whispered the last words.
“This is a bullshit,” Jin snapped.
“But that's what they say. Kohaku is five years old now, we've been going from one doctor to another for five years now, none of them has ever said anything reassuring. He often feels unwell he has relapses. There are good periods and there are worse ones. He can't play with other kids, we can't go on a holiday and I never dare leave him alone.”
Jin squeezed his eyes shut. How cruel the fate is to an innocent child.
“So that's what the money is for. But why-”
“Why like this?” Kazuya burst out angrily. “I've paid so much for doctors, Jin, that you can't even imagine. I tried to earn money for it but it was almost impossible. When Kohaku was two years old I didn't get my payment in time once. I thought it was going to be okay, nothing could happen if I had to wait for another day to get his pills. But Kohaku had a seizure that night... and I almost lost him.”
Kazuya fell silent, it seemed like he wasn't able to continue. His voice was full of self-reproach.
“That wasn't your fault,” Jin said quietly, making Kazuya look at him, even angrier than before.
“How can you say that? He almost died because I couldn't pay for those fucking pills. I decided then that something like that would never happen again. That whatever it will take, I will get what he needs, nothing and no one matters to me, only him. That was when I found my first victim. He was a rich asshole, I was disgusted by him so much that it made me feel sick to my stomach but it didn't matter. Because after that Kohaku was safe for a while. I realized that was the only way I could get money. Enough money to pay for his treatment and medication,”
Kazuya was talking faster and more nervously, his despair was so evident as if he was throwing it right into Jin's face, who didn't know how much more bitterness he could take. “I've tried other things as well. I've tried to be honest, to ask for help. Everyone who was attracted to me left me without hesitation when I told them about Kohaku's illness. People don't want to help, Jin. They care for nothing but themselves. So I also decided I will care for nothing and no one. Look, I'm very sorry that I hurt you and used you. I wasn't thinking, I didn't think of anything else but my son.”
Jin tried very hard to pretend he didn't hear the apology. “Couldn't you ask for help from your parents or-”
The younger man shook his head. “My parents are quite poor as well, my father often gets sick. Since we came to Tokyo I didn't see my parents much. My mother needs to be by my father's side and we could never afford paying for the trip. Not to mention the fact that Kohaku is rarely in a condition that I would allow him to travel. My son barely knows his grandparents.”
It was that painful stab again that pierced through Jin's heart. He didn't think all what Kazuya and that little boy went through could be made even worse and heart-wrenching.
That moment Jin knew he was about to make a decision and knew that if he fled from that mess he was in, he would regret it for his entire life. But to be honest, he wanted nothing else than to go back in time - he who has never asked anything similar before - and make it all undone. He wished he didn't know about all that, he wished for Kazuya to have never entered his life. He wished he just once had bothered to ask a picture of Koki's boyfriend and all this would have been avoided. Then he wouldn't have gotten into this so deep that now he couldn't get out.
He didn't even want to look at Kazuya anymore though he wasn't being delusional, he knew love didn't fade away just like that, overnight. Disappointment, bitterness and the intense pain overwhelmed any other positive feelings towards the younger man but the love that had become part of him couldn't just be ripped out of his heart; it was just buried under the bitterness of betrayal.
And Jin knew that there was one more thing which kept him tied to this so tight and that was the child. An innocent boy and that desperation Jin sensed as if it was about his own son and what made Kazuya do what he had done.
Jin cleared his throat. “There is chance for you to pay back what you stole."
Shocked, Kazuya looked at him, mixture of fear and surprise on his face. Jin forced himself not to think about how different that expression was from the one Kazuya was wearing and what allured Jin so much when they met.
“Jin, I don't have money.”
“I know,” Jin said coldly. “I have an offer for you.”
Kazuya's face lit up with hope though fear still ruled his features. He stayed silent and waited for Jin to continue.
Jin gave up the fight with himself and his sanity. And decided.
“I pay for the treatment and the medication.”
Kazuya's eyes widened.
“I won't set up a limit or a deadline. I don't know that much about Kohaku's condition that I could do that. I will help you financially until you need it.”
Kazuya apparently didn't believe his ears. “Why?” he whispered.
“Becasue I have a heart, Kazuya,” Jin snapped at him. “I am not a criminal. I can't turn my back on a child who has nothing to do with your dirty games.”
The choice of words made Kazuya cast his eyes downwards, trying to comrpehend what he just heard. “What do you want in return?”
Jin took a breath. Oh yes, nothing was for free. “You caused a lot of trouble for the company, the gap in the budget is huge and you ruined our most promising deal. We need to get back into a good position in the market again. You will help with that. If you really designed catalogues before, if you can really do that work then help us find new partners and get back what we had lost.”
Kazuya nodded to himself. That was clear, so far, so good.
“Besides that,” Jin continued and waited for Kazuya to look at him again. “I want you two to move out of here.”
“Jin, I don't-”
“This neighborhood is the most disgusting I've ever seen. It will do no good to Kohaku. I have a guest room in my house. You will move in there.”
Kazuya gaped in surprise.
“So you can work from home and take care of your son at the same time. You know the place, you know that you can go to anywhere without getting Kohaku in danger. And that will be good for me too, since you can take care of the house and I can keep an eye on you as well.”
It took Kazuya a couple of minutes to put his mind into action again. He buried his face into his hands again and breathed in deeply. “I don't know-”
“You don't have to answer me now. Think it over. I'm not blackmailing you, Kazuya, I'm not going to the police if you reject me, it's far too late for that. But keep in mind that Kohaku would get everything he needs, you wouldn't have to count every yen that the treatment and medication require and you don't have to do what you did to me and Koki anymore.”
Kazuya's mind reeled, thoughts swirling in his head at such a speed that he had to grasp the arms of the chair. Was it really possible? Was it possible that this would solve their problems? That he wouldn't need to sit planning who he should deceive and rob next time? That Kohaku would be happy, that he would be healthier? They would be able to go the park without being afraid of the people lurking around? That he could work and stay home and wouldn't need to ask others to take care of his ill son?
The younger man was shaken out of his thoughts when Jin stood up and slipped his hands into his pockets. “Well, let me know if you decided.”
“Jin,” Kazuya called after him, making Jin stop immediately. “You do know that this is an offer I can't reject, right?”
Jin tilted his head to the side, his expression serious and genuine. “You always have a choice, Kazuya.”
“If I want my son to be safe, I don't.”
Jin hummed in response. “Then can I take this as a yes?”
Kazuya sighed, looking directly into Jin's eyes. “Yes.”
“Good. Are a couple of days enough to pack your things?”
“Two days are enough,” Kazuya answered quietly.
Jin nodded. “Okay. I'm going for you in two days.”
Jin could vaguely sensed how ambiguous that sounded and he wanted to choke himself for being that weak. Kazuya gave a nod in agreement and Jin turned away, storming out the apartment, into the darkness of the night and he could already feel that his life was going to take a different turn form what he imagined. Again.
-
“Kame? Is everything alright?” Ueda's eyes were wide when he glanced a very upset Kazuya at his doorstep later that night and was swept off his feet by a gigantic hug his best friend greeted him with. His arms were shaking around him, Ueda noticed.
Kazuya pulled away after a while, and mustered a small but honest smile. “Yes. I wanted to see Kohaku.”
Ueda pulled him further inside his apartment, closing the door behind him. “He's sleeping in my bed, everything's okay.”
Kazuya nodded as he rubbed the back of his hand on his lips, shiny eyes darting around as if he didn't know what to say or do. He seemed so upset but Ueda could feel the explanation could wait for the next morning.
“Go to him, sleep there. I'll take the sofa.”
Kazuya just grabbed his hand and squeezed it, quickly disappearing towards the bedroom. When he glimpsed the tiny figure curled up under the covers, he grinned to himself. Quickly stripping out of his clothes, he slipped under the covers, pulling the little body close to himself. Kohaku didn't wake up just snuggled closer to the familiar heat of his father's body, sighing a little to himself.
Kazuya listened to his breathing for a long time before drifting to sleep. It had been long he slept so well that he did that night.
Amethyst
Crystalline quartz in shades of purple, lilac or mauve is called amethyst, a stone traditionally worn to guard against drunkeness and to instill a sober mind. The word amethyst comes from the Greek meaning "without drunkenness" and amethyst is believed to protect one from poison.
It is used as a dream stone and to help insomnia. Put an amethyst under your pillow to bring about pleasant dreams, or rub it across your forehead to offer relief from a headache.
Ancient Egyptians used the amethyst guard against guilty and fearful feelings. It has been worn as protection from self-deception, as well as a protection against witchcraft. The amethyst has long been used to open the spiritual and psychic centers, making it one of the power stones. It is also used as a meditation aid when worn as a necklace.
The amethyst is known as the Bishop's Stone and is still worn by Catholic Bishops. The amethyst symbolizes piety, humility, sincerity and spiritual wisdom. It is thought the amethyst is the perfect stone to symbolize The Age of Aquarius.
Amethyst is a gemstone often worn by healers, as it has the power to focus energy. A healer will usually wear several pieces of jewelry with amethysts set in silver, especially an amethyst necklace. The person to be healed will have an Amethyst to hold while the healing is being done. The healer will place another piece of Amethyst on the area of the body in need of healing, the heart or lungs usually.
Amethyst is used for problems in the blood and in breathing problems. Amethyst crystal clusters are used to keep the air and life force in the home clean and positive.
Amethyst clusters, points or several tumbled Amethysts placed in a window that receives sun most of the day are very beneficial to use in healing and to heal negativity in the home. Place Amethyst clusters, points or several tumbled Amethysts in moonlight and everyone in the home will be feeling calmer. Using an Amethyst as a meditation focus will increase the positive spiritual feelings. Amethyst helps overcome fears and cravings. It also helps relieve headaches.
a/n. I'm fast as lightning, don't you think?
Now you know more about the Kamenashi family, and you had lots of Akame interaction. We'll see how Jin will be able to deal with the new situation, hm?
Hope you enjoyed. Comments are loved just like always.
Later, sweethearts<3
a/n. I just can't with this new lj. Just can't.