Amber 03./12. // akame
amber 03.
kame/jin // (koki/maru and surprise pairings)
nc-17 for this chapter // fluff, romance, angst // AU
word count (for this chapter). 5,740
It was devoted, it was passionate, it was love. Perfect, wonderful and so very fragile.
The text in italics are the scenes from Kazuya's past.
o3. Sunstone and Moonstone
The door slammed shut, sending a loud echo through the almost empty apartment. Then everything became silent, the only sound that could still be heard was the ticking clock - quiet and annoying clacks in the deathly silence.
Kazuya cleared his throat just to break the silence and forced himself not to look around. If he had, he would have probably been sobbing pitifully by now, drowning in self-pity and misery. But he was not going to do that. He wouldn't give in and pleasure the Almighty God, Fate or whatever was that had fucked up his pathetic life that way and made him trip over the edge.
If he had used his brain a little bit more then he did, he would have never believed in the fairy tale-like phrase which he had had no doubt about before. And they lived happily ever after. Sure, everything had been so unreal and simply too good to be true. And those things never last long.
But he believed in it and look where he was now. His only company in the cold and unfriendly apartment was that damn clock on the wall that just counted the minutes and with every tick it even carved painfully into his mind that time passes and it only goes forward. You can never turn it back, idiot.
His phone rang again. He spared it a fleeting a glance but let it ring. It was his mother. Again. His fingers unconsciously curled into his palms and formed a fist until he couldn't even feel them anymore.
He didn't want to talk to her. He didn't know what to say. He didn't want to hear the gentle, comforting words dripping from concern and the desperate cries.
After long minutes, the phone finally stopped ringing and the sound of the ticking clock replaced the harsh noise once again.
Kazuya's hand suddenly shot up and before he could register what was happening, the clock landed on the spotless floor with a loud crack and the glass covering the clockface shattered into pieces even before it reached the ground.
He didn't feel the pain, only his eyes sensed the small shrapnels digging deep into his knuckles and the blood that was dripping from his fingertips onto the pieces of the shattered clock.
But it was to no avail, even if he broke it, even if he couldn't hear the ticks anymore - he just couldn't turn back time.
He slowly slipped the ring off his finger and let it fall into the remnants of the broken clock.
-
Yamapi leaned back in his chair with an enormous sigh and tried to pretend he was awake. Jin, his long-time friend who knew him very well, immediately saw through the badly-covered act and with a well aimed kick at the shin, he sent Yamapi to the floor.
“What was that for, you idiot?” Yamapi rubbed his butt, wearing the most pained expression that could be effective at times like this.
“Don't sleep in the office, Pi. I know you're tired but we've just become rich so why don't you just buy a bed or a futon and sleep at home?”
“Very funny,” Yamapi mumbled, his fingers fumbling with the contract that was the key to his happiness. “I don't believe that this is really happening. And the stones will be here tomorrow and you can start working on them immediately.”
There was no better response to that than a groan, coming from the depth of Jin's chest and it wasn't the sound of pleasure in this case. “Leave me alone, Pi. I'm going to Bora Bora first.”
“Bora Bora, my ass. After you put those stones under careful examination and the report on my desk, then you can go to Bora Bora, what's more, you can even climb the Himalayas for all I care if you'd like to do that. But only after that.”
Jin furrowed his brows and leaned over the table. “Enlighten me about one thing, Yamapi. Why is that that you are ordering me around when I'm owner of this company as well and I'm even older than you.”
Thinking carefully about the answer, Yamapi mirrored Jin's movement and leaned forward. “The reason for that, Jin, my friend, is that your whole world is only revolving around your pretty boyfriend, and that doesn't do any good to the business.”
“As if I wasn't the one who got his hands on the Golden Bay,” Jin scoffed.
“Only because the daughter of their boss couldn't take her eyes off you.”
“Does it really matter?”
Yamapi grinned. “Actually, it doesn't. But what about stopping complaining now? I know you're dying to take a glance at the stones. I mean, if you can take your mind off the pretty ass of your lover for one minute.”
To that, Jin could only grin back. “Can't wait.”
-
That was the first time Jin invited Kazuya to his house. After they met up at a local pub and drank a glass of wine, Jin soon found himself pressed to Kazuya's side and his lips on Kazuya's and Jin already knew where this would go.
Then rationality somehow had won over lust - being in a public place just like the last time - and Jin reluctantly pushed those various images into the back of his head that promised thousands kinds of pleasurable moments. So they left the pub and Jin asked Kazuya to come over to show him his house. Of course, he wouldn't mind if Kazuya wanted to take a closer look at the bedroom, especially taking the king-sized bed into consideration, but he would be just fine to show Kazuya around. Something urged him to just share every piece and corner of his life with the younger man.
Jin's house was neither extremely huge, nor particularly luxurious. But it was big enough for Kazuya to nod in approval as they strolled through the rooms. The display cabinet in the living room had a big impression on Kazuya though, and he spent long minutes just to stare at the gemstone collection in awe. “These are gorgeous.”
Jin, hanging his gaze on the cabinet, stood next to him and the latter stole him a glance, smiling to himself in amusement at the expression plastered on Jin's face. He looked at the gemstones like a proud father would look at his children.
“Is that emerald? It looks exactly like the one you showed me in the catalogue,” Kazuya pointed at the green stone that took the respectable place on the top shelf. It was clear that the sparkling gemstone held a special spot amongst the others.
Jin nodded and stepped behind Kazuya, his chest slightly brushing the other's back. “Yes. That is my stone. The number one stone of my zodiac.”
Kazuya turned to him, surprised. “Are you kidding now? You said that emerald is good for those whose heart has been broken.”
“That is another thing,” Jin said lowly into Kazuya's ear, his voice hushed to a whisper and watched with satisfaction as goosebumps emerged on the younger man's nape. “The meaning of gemstones of any zodiac sign doesn't depend on characteristic features or fate. If those kind of stones have something to do with one's fate that they can control it. When we give gemstone to someone to protect them, heal or bring fortune then you can pick one for yourself. That's the other case.” Jin's hand started sneaking upwards on Kazuya's arm, the younger man's breathing coming out as soft huffs, leaning his back against Jin's chest. “Gemstones are very powerful, there's just one thing they cannot do.”
“What is that?” Kazuya mouthed in an almost unaudible voice as his eyes closed slowly and his head tilted when Jin's fingertips brushed the back of his neck with feather-like touches.
“To change the past.”
“That's a pity,” it slipped through Kazuya's lips instictively.
Jin smiled, fingers sinking into the dark locks and gently pulled to make the younger man's head fall back even more and Kazuya's neck was fully exposed to Jin's senses now, he knew Kazuya must feel his breath on his skin. “Do you think so? I think it's fine. Whatever happened, happened. To beat yourself over something, to think of all the 'what ifs' never helps. It's the same with the mistakes we make; we have to learn from them so we won't repeat them again. Repetition is never good. Only in bed sometimes...”
That was the last thing that left Jin's lips before Kazuya spun around and pressed his lips to Jin's, who found himself sitting on his sofa, sinking deep into his cushions, Kazuya's legs around his hips, one hand on his shoulders and the other one everywhere else.
Jin moved in autopilot - his hands pulled Kazuya closer, their body heat drew out sensual moans and groans, swallowing each other's voice as the dance of their lips intensified.
The shirt soon proved to be rather unnecessary, at least that was what Kazuya must have thought as he let out a frustrated sigh when the buttons didn't give in under his slightly trembling fingers, but eventually - with Jin's help - he managed to tear it off the other's body. His fingers then started stroking patterns on Jin's heaving chest, following the lines of muscles and curves and Jin just wanted to fall apart and whimper because all of this felt just absolutely mindblowing.
He was about to flip Kazuya over and push him to the floor or do something equally dramatic when Kazuya's phone strated to ring and the figure in his lap gave a rather violent shudder. Kazuya tensed and stilled then jumped out of Jin's lap with the speed of sound to reach for his bag and fish his cell phone out. Jin just stared and blinked, sitting in the same spot, half-naked as his eyes followed Kazuya's every move.
“Yes?” Kazuya panted into the phone. “What? Really? No. No, it's okay.”
It was a fast call, that wasn't the problem but what Jin saw on Kazuya's face after that made him hiss.
Kazuya looked apologetic. “I'm sorry, I have to go.”
“Are you kidding, right?” Jin asked, half-jokingly, half-serious as he continued to stare at the other's face and then saw it. Kazuya was worried, if not upset. “Something's wrong?”
Kazuya hastily adjusted his clothes and hair then shook his head. “My friend. He needs me, I'm sorry.”
Seeing the genuine concern on Kazuya's face, Jin started to regret that he had ever tried to joke about it. The man truly cared about those who were important to him, it seemed.
“No. No, it's okay. I hope your friend is fine and we can... continue what.. we... have started,” he added, stuttering as he reached for his shirt, suddenly feeling shy and too naked.
Kazuya flashed him a grateful smile and nodded. “Can't wait,” he whispered and kissed Jin for one last time.
After what it seemed like at least ten minutes, Jin was still sitting on his sofa, the way Kazuya had left him, with a strangely warm feeling in his chest and a quite painful erection in his pants.
-
Jin cursed his luck. He hasn't seen Kazuya in days and that was slowly driving him insane. Sometimes he wondered how it was even possible to miss someone whom he knew only for a week but then he always ended up admitting that whenever it came to Kazuya, sanity more than often wasn't on his side.
The contact restricted to fastly changed mails and long calls at night and Jin started to think that without those, he wouldn't even be able to fall asleep.
It seemed they had to survive without the other's company though, as they were both quite busy and Jin couldn't stop swearing at Yamapi, who, in the promise of the new business contract, gathered all of his workers that were able to stand on their feet and thus he counterplotted Jin's long-awaited journey to Bora Bora.
And when Jin would finally be able to have a free evening, Kazuya showered him with apologies, saying that work has become hectic for him, too so they should wait for the weekend to meet up.
In the absence of Kazuya, Jin was sort of forced to spend his free evening with Koki and Yamapi, the latter soon abandoned their company and found a new one in the form of two long legs and blonde hair. The girl didn't waste any time and it only took her twenty minutes to succeed at dragging Yamapi with her, out of the club, leaving the two friends alone.
“Why didn't you bring your boyfriend today? I would love to meet him,” Koki asked, stirring his cocktail.
“What for? So you can threaten him to beat him up if he ever hurts me?”
“To congratulate,” Koki grinned and Jin laughed at him, staring at his own glass.
“He's busy with work. We're going to meet him this weekend, at my place and please, don't feel offended but I'm not going to invite you because what will happen there is not your business.”
Koki scrunched up his face, feigning disgust. “I wouldn't go anyway, that's gross.”
Before Jin could retort, Koki's phone went off and Jin wondered whether God purposely wanted him to be without company that night. But Koki didn't pick up the call, only spared a glance at the flashing screen and stuffed the device back into his pocket with a dark face.
Jin looked at him questioningly. “Who is it?”
“Nobody.”
“Koki, I know you too well for my own good. Do you think I will buy that that gloomy expression means nothing? I know that face well, too.”
With a long sigh, Koki leaned back and fidgeted with his straw. “Okay, I will sum this up pretty quick, don't interrupt me and don't try to convince me about something that I can't be convinced about anyway.”
That was what Jin was the most concerned about, but knew if he didn't agree, Koki would shut himself away again and wouldn't let anyone to help. That happened only once so far and Jin never wanted to see that Koki again. So he nodded silently and waited.
“I met someone. It was a one night stand and god knows I don't want anything more. But that asshole can't comprehend this situation and keeps calling me. And now you're wondering, but this has never been a problem to Koki, he could get rid of the guy with a well-timed offence or simply the ugly truth. But I can't. Somehow I just can't. Every time I'm about to do just that, he says or does something and... I just can't. I hate this whole shit.”
Jin stared at his friend with a blank face until Koki decided to take a breath after the three-minute long speech. On his face appeared the shadow of the painful past, it was so clearly visible that Jin found himself shiver at seeing it. It didn't matter that almost two years had passed, Koki just couldn't really move on. He couldn't trust. “Koki.”
“I know what you're thinking and no, Jin,” Koki spat out angrily though it sounded more bitter than furious. “I'm so not going to get involved in something like that ever again.”
“Something like that? What? This is nothing like that. Or does he only want your money as well?”
“No,” Koki said quickly. Jin could almost see what Koki was thinking. How much he was fighting against getting close to that person, yet feeling the need to defend him. Jin assumed that whoever the guy was, he had already had a great influence on Koki.
“Koki, listen. And now you let me tell you what I have in mind, just like I did, okay?”
The other grimaced but nodded nonetheless.
“I've never felt like you did. No one has been as cruel to me as that bastard was to you back then. But I was with you, I was by your side and I saw what you went through,” Jin said, trying to ignore the pain that was plastered on Koki's face at the memories. “But you can't shut yourself away forever. This doesn't make any sense. If you feel good with this guy then just be with him. Now you know that you have to be careful, but...”
“You cannot be careful with emotions, Jin,” Koki interrupted in a bitter tone.
“Then take the risk, Koki. If you cannot control your emotions then it doesn't matter what you try to do against them, right?”
Koki closed his eyes and sighed. Jin was right for once. He desperately needed to have a smoke.
“When have you become such a witty brat?” he asked, frowning at Jin across the heavy curtain of smoke.
Jin laughed. “Since you've stopped thinking. Someone needs to do that, too after all.”
“Fuck you.”
The laughter just became louder and soon Koki found himself laughing with Jin as well. How he hated to be wrong. His cell phone started to ring again and Koki blinked at the device with hesitation.
“Answer it.”
“But-”
“Answer it, Koki.”
Koki rolled his eyes and picked up the phone, sending a glare in Jin's direction once more. “I hate you,” then he answered the call and when Jin heard the tone the other used, he was absolutely sure he had been right. “Yuichi?”
And Jin kept grinning at Koki for a long time from across the other end of the table, completely ignoring the flashing eyes of his friend.
-
At the end Koki left Jin alone as well to meet up with his mysterious Yuichi but Jin, for once, didn't mind. With a soft smile on his lips, he turned to walk home when his phone started buzzing against his thigh in his pocket.
A wide grin immediately found its way to his face when he saw Kazuya's name flashing across the screen.
“Hey,” he said gently when the line connected.
“Jin, how are you?” Kazuya's low and melodious voice hadn't lose its charm no matter how many time Jin heard it.
“I'm going home right now.”
“That's... good.”
Jin could hear the uncertain tone and made him frown. “What are you doing now?”
“I'm waiting.”
“For what?”
“For you.”
Jin stopped in his tracks. Did he hear that right? “What do you mean?”
Kazuya answered with a nervous laughter. “I'm here in front of your door and I rang the bell but you weren't here. Of course, you wouldn't know I'm here, I should have called...”
“Kazuya,” Jin cut him off, turning serious. “What's wrong?”
There was just a moment of silence at the other end of the line. “Nothing. Nothing at all. I just wanted to see you.”
Jin didn't notice when worry started to flood every corner of his body and mind. “Are you sure everything's okay?”
“Yeah. I just miss you.”
That was all it took for Jin to start walking in a frantic pace again, almost running. “I'll be right there.”
He slowed down only when he arrived at his house and finally caught a glimpse of Kazuya, leaning against his door, hands buried in his pockets, face tired but still beautiful as usual. The sight was breathtaking, so much that it made something snap in Jin's heart and sweeping through him with explosive force and the next thing he knew that the door slammed shut under Kazuya's weight as he pressed the other against the wooden surface and amongst passionate kisses, he tried to free Kazuya from all of his clothes, only to stiffen and still all of a sudden, earning a surprised look from the younger man, whose fingers were hooked in his collar.
“Are you okay?” Jin needed to know, just this one thing he needed to know before he would lose his sanity over that beautiful, alluring presence that was swallowing him in and that was Kazuya himself.
Kazuya smiled sweetly at him. “Now I'm okay. Stop worrying, I just had a long week and I missed you,” he whispered and sank his teeth into Jin's shoulder gently as he slowly pulled the shirt off him and threw it on the floor.
Jin hissed and moaned lowly, seemingly satisfied with the answer or just completely forgetting what the question was, his fingers hurriedly fumbled with the buttons of Kazuya's shirt, the younger man threw his head back, enjoying how Jin carressed his heated skin.
There was no doubt, Kazuya was a professional in the art of seduction but Jin knew, he could feel that what was happening, that was flooding his head and didn't leave anything out of his thoughts than a complete mess, was beyond physical. He knew it and he knew that Kazuya felt it too. It was there in each of Kazuya's whisper, in every touch and every breath he took. It was there in the burning eyes and in every word whispered in a shaky voice.
Jin wanted nothing else than to feel him, to feel everything he could offer, closer than it was possible, making every barrier disappear finally. It was a wonderful feeling, some kind of bizarre manifestation of the harmony between them as their heartbeats mirrored each other's.
Kazuya moved, just the slightest bit, hips brushing to Jin's who let out a louder moan, feeling more turned on than ever, then he answered with the same move of his hips, causing both of them shudder from desire and the unspoken emotions that lingered in the air around them.
Then it was only a matter of seconds, the clothes fell to the floor silently and then their bodies finally touched, skin on heated skin, making them feel thousands way of pleasure through moans and gasps. Jin knew he couldn't stop anymore, his whole body, every inch of him longed for this man and only him. He just wanted to drown into that feeling that pushed both of them far and further away from reality.
He could feel that Kazuya became impatient, it was there in the way he arched his back and it made Jin turn back into his senses a little bit. For once, he was grateful for his own laziness that he hadn't put that little tube away that he had bought a few days earlier, just dropped it there, next to the sofa so it was in his reach now when he had no intention to leave Kazuya alone even for a second.
As he fumbled with the package, Kazuya turned back to help him and before Jin could ask, he already poured lube into his hands and then Jin could only gasp when the warm fingers closed around him, smearing the cold liquid all over him.
Jin pressed his back against the back of the sofa and stared at the younger man as he crawled into his lap, and could hear every part of his body screaming from the desire to touch and kiss and pull and caress. Or just to look as Kazuya's tongue darted out and licked his bottom lip, his face flushed and hair disheveled. And then Jin was hit with a strong feeling just like once or twice before; that there was something ethereal about Kazuya, something not even worth being on Earth, something simply and purely beautiful and sensual. Enchanting and magical.
And that was what swept the thoughts away that had been restraining his temper and with a sudden movement he flipped Kazuya over and pushed him onto the fluffy carpet. It was so abrupt that Kazuya gasped, almost yelped in surprise, wrapping his arms around Jin's back for keeping his balance. Jin just lowered himself slowly until every part of their bodies could touch again and Kazuya moaned out that must be the most alluring voice Jin had ever heard.
“I want you so much that it isn't even normal,” Jin moaned out after a long kiss as they parted for a bit more air to breathe. Kazuya answered him with a squeeze and a small smile, a lift of his hips that urged Jin to move and just give him more pleasure, more friction.
The kiss that started out as a gentle brush, became rough and demanding, Kazuya's hands on his neck pulled him down and closer. When Jin broke the kiss, they were panting and gasping as the transparent liquied coated Jin's fingers and Kazuya lifted his hips and all that expressed the feeling that coursed through him was a deep sigh of pleasure and fluttering eyelashes which Jin watched with fascination. Kazuya was warm, heated around his fingers.
“Jin,” it was only a whisper and a hand trailing down his back and Jin knew he wasn't the only one who was impatient and needy. Another finger found its way through the muscles and Jin tried to find any sign if he was causing any pain. What he found was nothing similar to pain though, only trembling and sweaty skin underneath his palm on Kazuya's nape as the youngerman pulled him closer once again to kiss him, every gesture was like aphrodisiac to his senses.
“Enough,” Kazuya breathed into his ear, pulling Jin's hand away and wrapping his legs around his waist, planting wet kisses along his jawline, gently biting on the soft skin. “I want to feel you.”
And Jin wanted the same. Oh God, how much he wanted to feel Kazuya already. He carefully maneuvered himself a little lower and as slowly as he could, Jin finally linked their bodies together. Kazuya tensed, his grip tightened. And Jin's grip became frantic, too because the way they finally became one was almost too much to bear.
And then their gazes met and Jin froze, became immobile, the only movement was their chests rising and falling in an irregular rhythm and the trembling of their arms that were hooked around one another.
Jin let himself sink into the depth of Kazuya's eyes, suddenly feeling vulnerable and naked. Not physically naked, but completely exposed to his emotions and it was impossible for Kazuya to not see it. But he didn't mind. Somehow Jin didn't mind it, in that moment he wanted to give Kazuya everything with his entire being.
Jin moved slowly, the warmth that was spreading through him felt like it was turning him into ashes. And he loved it. Kazuya's back arched back, his head tilted, every move speaking of desire and longing; without words, he said it all.
The rhythm became more frantic as Jin's thoughts were abandoned, not leaving anything else than colorless and hot fog in his head and Kazuya. Only Kazuya.
Then everything fell out of control and rhythm, Jin could feel nails digging into his skin and teeth on his neck and heaving chest under his own and soft whispers and moans vibrating through his body and suddenly it became all too much. White exploded behind his closed eyelids and Kazuya was there again with him, gripping and moaning and sighing shakily.
Then they didn't move for a long time, they were just lying in each other's embrace in the moon-lit room, planting soft kisses on the other's exposed skin without having to pull away. Jin carefully lowered himself next to Kazuya, his arm tightly around the younger man's waist, their legs tangled.
Kazuya looked at him, his features gentle, his smile angelic, eyes a little bit clouded. His slightly trembling hand reached out to brush a lock away from Jin's face. Jin hummed in appreciation at the gentle touch.
“Stay here tonight,” he whispered to Kazuya and felt his heart sink into his stomach when Kazuya's serene expression turned into an apologetic one.
“I can't. I have some work to do for tomorrow. Next time.”
Jin nodded. It was okay. Next time. There's going to be many 'next times', he added to himself.
“I would like to shut you in the safe, next to my precious gemstones.”
Kazuya laughed out loud, his stomach trembling underneath Jin's arm, making him smile, too. “Wait, safe? I thought you keep the gemstones in the cabinet.”
Jin shrugged. “Sometimes I bring my work home. I hate sitting in the office. The most valuable stones are in the safe. And I'd put you there, too.”
Kazuya chuckled again and leaned closer for a kiss then lay back and enveloped himself in Jin's arms again to enjoy the other's warmth for another couple of minutes.
Jin found himself unable to tear his gaze away from Kazuya, and with an involuntary breath he took, he tried to breathe in the other's presence, wanting to savour the moment. His heart was still beating so fast he thought it would leap out of his chest sooner or later. For the first time in his life, Jin was sure there was nothing that could ruin the happiness that overwhelmed him and definitely nothing that could outshine it.
Jin was in love, hopelessly and beyond any doubt.
-
It was cold. That kind of cold that words couldn't express well, the dampness simply poured out of the walls, everything silent and sullen. The room was wrapped in that sort of silence that could make you want to scream just to break it somehow.
There were some whispers from behind Kazuya, disembodied and strained voices told tales of some kind of bizarre mixture of excitement and fear, which seemed so ridiculous as they fought with all their might to maintain the mask of calmness. But this wasn't the place and time where they were in control. Here, it took only one word from the person who held their lives in their hands and it could be over, just like that.
Kazuya was gripping the arm of his chair tightly, the hard lines of his face didn't let his emotions show. Fear was holding his heart in a vice grip with brutal force. Terror was coursing through his body, making his limps in agonizing numbness in several levels, in front of his eyes, the ugly wall of the room - that he had been staring at for an hour - became dark for a moment.
He regretted to have rejected his parents and not to let them accompany him. Back then he was so certain that nothing could go wrong. Everything was going to be fine. There was nothing wrong.
But right now, he wasn't so confident anymore and the feeling was hard to bear. He wanted to get an encouraging smile from someone, some reassuring words. Just one little gesture that would keep him going for another few minutes. Nothing could be helped anyway. The die has been cast.
A draft arrived from somewhere and the door trembled a bit in its frame, the metal doorknob sang a twisted melody into the silence and Kazuya felt his heart skipping the next beat, the fear pushed new waves into every inch of his body.
When he realized it was only the play of the wind, Kazuya let out a long sigh of relief and relaxed a bit, glad to have some more minutes to enjoy his silent agony. But happiness was cut short when the door really opened this time, and a young woman wearing only white, peeked out through the crack. Her unconcerned face made a startling contrast compared to the worried complexions of the people in the waiting room.
The woman wandered his gaze over the room until his eyes settled on Kazuya who didn't even dare to breathe.
“Kamenashi-san, the doctor is waiting for you. You can come in now.”
The cold voice of the nurse reached Kazuya as if it was a sharp slap against his face. He didn't know from where he managed to gather the strength to move but he somehow did, since the next thing he knew he was on the other side of the door as the lock clicked into its place behind his back.
He walked out forty-five minutes later, in his hand there was a brown folder, in the weak grip of his numb fingers. He moved slowly and a little robotic, walking through the little crowd in the waiting room, his face blank and colorless.
The elevator arrived with a loud ring and Kazuya entered. He could barely wait for the door to finally close, before his knees buckled and he slumped against the wall, the brown folder falling from his hands onto the dirty floor.
Sunstone
Sunstone was associated with the Sun during the Rennaissance because of its sparkling orange-gold hue. It was used by magicians to call upon the influences of the sun. It is a protective stone.
Symbolically, sunstone is linked to moonstone. Carry the two stones together to bring the influences of the Sun (Healing, Protection, Success) into harmony with those of the Moon (Love, Peace, Spirituality).
Sunstone is worn to give you extra energy when you are ill or under stress, stimulate sexual arousal and increase sexual energy, increase self-healing power and stimulates your personal power of attraction.
Moonstone
It is said if you give your lover a moonstone necklace when the moon is full you will always have passion with each other.
It has been worn as an amulet to bring good emotions to the wearer, while protecting those of a sensitive nature. It can reunite lovers who have quarreled. Moonstone is also considered a good luck stone.
Moonstone is a very personal stone. It is a reflection of the person who owns it. It does not add or detract, only shows how it is. This is why the moonstone is said to perceive that which "is". Moonstone is an excellent stone to use in meditation to understand oneself. Placing it in the moonlight of a moon reaching its fullness, not a full or waning moon, can revitalize it.
a/n. So??? I would love to know what you think about what really is going on here. :)) Are you confused? Surprised? Bored?
Next: o4. Sardonyx >>
kame/jin // (koki/maru and surprise pairings)
nc-17 for this chapter // fluff, romance, angst // AU
word count (for this chapter). 5,740
It was devoted, it was passionate, it was love. Perfect, wonderful and so very fragile.
The text in italics are the scenes from Kazuya's past.
o3. Sunstone and Moonstone
The door slammed shut, sending a loud echo through the almost empty apartment. Then everything became silent, the only sound that could still be heard was the ticking clock - quiet and annoying clacks in the deathly silence.
Kazuya cleared his throat just to break the silence and forced himself not to look around. If he had, he would have probably been sobbing pitifully by now, drowning in self-pity and misery. But he was not going to do that. He wouldn't give in and pleasure the Almighty God, Fate or whatever was that had fucked up his pathetic life that way and made him trip over the edge.
If he had used his brain a little bit more then he did, he would have never believed in the fairy tale-like phrase which he had had no doubt about before. And they lived happily ever after. Sure, everything had been so unreal and simply too good to be true. And those things never last long.
But he believed in it and look where he was now. His only company in the cold and unfriendly apartment was that damn clock on the wall that just counted the minutes and with every tick it even carved painfully into his mind that time passes and it only goes forward. You can never turn it back, idiot.
His phone rang again. He spared it a fleeting a glance but let it ring. It was his mother. Again. His fingers unconsciously curled into his palms and formed a fist until he couldn't even feel them anymore.
He didn't want to talk to her. He didn't know what to say. He didn't want to hear the gentle, comforting words dripping from concern and the desperate cries.
After long minutes, the phone finally stopped ringing and the sound of the ticking clock replaced the harsh noise once again.
Kazuya's hand suddenly shot up and before he could register what was happening, the clock landed on the spotless floor with a loud crack and the glass covering the clockface shattered into pieces even before it reached the ground.
He didn't feel the pain, only his eyes sensed the small shrapnels digging deep into his knuckles and the blood that was dripping from his fingertips onto the pieces of the shattered clock.
But it was to no avail, even if he broke it, even if he couldn't hear the ticks anymore - he just couldn't turn back time.
He slowly slipped the ring off his finger and let it fall into the remnants of the broken clock.
-
Yamapi leaned back in his chair with an enormous sigh and tried to pretend he was awake. Jin, his long-time friend who knew him very well, immediately saw through the badly-covered act and with a well aimed kick at the shin, he sent Yamapi to the floor.
“What was that for, you idiot?” Yamapi rubbed his butt, wearing the most pained expression that could be effective at times like this.
“Don't sleep in the office, Pi. I know you're tired but we've just become rich so why don't you just buy a bed or a futon and sleep at home?”
“Very funny,” Yamapi mumbled, his fingers fumbling with the contract that was the key to his happiness. “I don't believe that this is really happening. And the stones will be here tomorrow and you can start working on them immediately.”
There was no better response to that than a groan, coming from the depth of Jin's chest and it wasn't the sound of pleasure in this case. “Leave me alone, Pi. I'm going to Bora Bora first.”
“Bora Bora, my ass. After you put those stones under careful examination and the report on my desk, then you can go to Bora Bora, what's more, you can even climb the Himalayas for all I care if you'd like to do that. But only after that.”
Jin furrowed his brows and leaned over the table. “Enlighten me about one thing, Yamapi. Why is that that you are ordering me around when I'm owner of this company as well and I'm even older than you.”
Thinking carefully about the answer, Yamapi mirrored Jin's movement and leaned forward. “The reason for that, Jin, my friend, is that your whole world is only revolving around your pretty boyfriend, and that doesn't do any good to the business.”
“As if I wasn't the one who got his hands on the Golden Bay,” Jin scoffed.
“Only because the daughter of their boss couldn't take her eyes off you.”
“Does it really matter?”
Yamapi grinned. “Actually, it doesn't. But what about stopping complaining now? I know you're dying to take a glance at the stones. I mean, if you can take your mind off the pretty ass of your lover for one minute.”
To that, Jin could only grin back. “Can't wait.”
-
That was the first time Jin invited Kazuya to his house. After they met up at a local pub and drank a glass of wine, Jin soon found himself pressed to Kazuya's side and his lips on Kazuya's and Jin already knew where this would go.
Then rationality somehow had won over lust - being in a public place just like the last time - and Jin reluctantly pushed those various images into the back of his head that promised thousands kinds of pleasurable moments. So they left the pub and Jin asked Kazuya to come over to show him his house. Of course, he wouldn't mind if Kazuya wanted to take a closer look at the bedroom, especially taking the king-sized bed into consideration, but he would be just fine to show Kazuya around. Something urged him to just share every piece and corner of his life with the younger man.
Jin's house was neither extremely huge, nor particularly luxurious. But it was big enough for Kazuya to nod in approval as they strolled through the rooms. The display cabinet in the living room had a big impression on Kazuya though, and he spent long minutes just to stare at the gemstone collection in awe. “These are gorgeous.”
Jin, hanging his gaze on the cabinet, stood next to him and the latter stole him a glance, smiling to himself in amusement at the expression plastered on Jin's face. He looked at the gemstones like a proud father would look at his children.
“Is that emerald? It looks exactly like the one you showed me in the catalogue,” Kazuya pointed at the green stone that took the respectable place on the top shelf. It was clear that the sparkling gemstone held a special spot amongst the others.
Jin nodded and stepped behind Kazuya, his chest slightly brushing the other's back. “Yes. That is my stone. The number one stone of my zodiac.”
Kazuya turned to him, surprised. “Are you kidding now? You said that emerald is good for those whose heart has been broken.”
“That is another thing,” Jin said lowly into Kazuya's ear, his voice hushed to a whisper and watched with satisfaction as goosebumps emerged on the younger man's nape. “The meaning of gemstones of any zodiac sign doesn't depend on characteristic features or fate. If those kind of stones have something to do with one's fate that they can control it. When we give gemstone to someone to protect them, heal or bring fortune then you can pick one for yourself. That's the other case.” Jin's hand started sneaking upwards on Kazuya's arm, the younger man's breathing coming out as soft huffs, leaning his back against Jin's chest. “Gemstones are very powerful, there's just one thing they cannot do.”
“What is that?” Kazuya mouthed in an almost unaudible voice as his eyes closed slowly and his head tilted when Jin's fingertips brushed the back of his neck with feather-like touches.
“To change the past.”
“That's a pity,” it slipped through Kazuya's lips instictively.
Jin smiled, fingers sinking into the dark locks and gently pulled to make the younger man's head fall back even more and Kazuya's neck was fully exposed to Jin's senses now, he knew Kazuya must feel his breath on his skin. “Do you think so? I think it's fine. Whatever happened, happened. To beat yourself over something, to think of all the 'what ifs' never helps. It's the same with the mistakes we make; we have to learn from them so we won't repeat them again. Repetition is never good. Only in bed sometimes...”
That was the last thing that left Jin's lips before Kazuya spun around and pressed his lips to Jin's, who found himself sitting on his sofa, sinking deep into his cushions, Kazuya's legs around his hips, one hand on his shoulders and the other one everywhere else.
Jin moved in autopilot - his hands pulled Kazuya closer, their body heat drew out sensual moans and groans, swallowing each other's voice as the dance of their lips intensified.
The shirt soon proved to be rather unnecessary, at least that was what Kazuya must have thought as he let out a frustrated sigh when the buttons didn't give in under his slightly trembling fingers, but eventually - with Jin's help - he managed to tear it off the other's body. His fingers then started stroking patterns on Jin's heaving chest, following the lines of muscles and curves and Jin just wanted to fall apart and whimper because all of this felt just absolutely mindblowing.
He was about to flip Kazuya over and push him to the floor or do something equally dramatic when Kazuya's phone strated to ring and the figure in his lap gave a rather violent shudder. Kazuya tensed and stilled then jumped out of Jin's lap with the speed of sound to reach for his bag and fish his cell phone out. Jin just stared and blinked, sitting in the same spot, half-naked as his eyes followed Kazuya's every move.
“Yes?” Kazuya panted into the phone. “What? Really? No. No, it's okay.”
It was a fast call, that wasn't the problem but what Jin saw on Kazuya's face after that made him hiss.
Kazuya looked apologetic. “I'm sorry, I have to go.”
“Are you kidding, right?” Jin asked, half-jokingly, half-serious as he continued to stare at the other's face and then saw it. Kazuya was worried, if not upset. “Something's wrong?”
Kazuya hastily adjusted his clothes and hair then shook his head. “My friend. He needs me, I'm sorry.”
Seeing the genuine concern on Kazuya's face, Jin started to regret that he had ever tried to joke about it. The man truly cared about those who were important to him, it seemed.
“No. No, it's okay. I hope your friend is fine and we can... continue what.. we... have started,” he added, stuttering as he reached for his shirt, suddenly feeling shy and too naked.
Kazuya flashed him a grateful smile and nodded. “Can't wait,” he whispered and kissed Jin for one last time.
After what it seemed like at least ten minutes, Jin was still sitting on his sofa, the way Kazuya had left him, with a strangely warm feeling in his chest and a quite painful erection in his pants.
-
Jin cursed his luck. He hasn't seen Kazuya in days and that was slowly driving him insane. Sometimes he wondered how it was even possible to miss someone whom he knew only for a week but then he always ended up admitting that whenever it came to Kazuya, sanity more than often wasn't on his side.
The contact restricted to fastly changed mails and long calls at night and Jin started to think that without those, he wouldn't even be able to fall asleep.
It seemed they had to survive without the other's company though, as they were both quite busy and Jin couldn't stop swearing at Yamapi, who, in the promise of the new business contract, gathered all of his workers that were able to stand on their feet and thus he counterplotted Jin's long-awaited journey to Bora Bora.
And when Jin would finally be able to have a free evening, Kazuya showered him with apologies, saying that work has become hectic for him, too so they should wait for the weekend to meet up.
In the absence of Kazuya, Jin was sort of forced to spend his free evening with Koki and Yamapi, the latter soon abandoned their company and found a new one in the form of two long legs and blonde hair. The girl didn't waste any time and it only took her twenty minutes to succeed at dragging Yamapi with her, out of the club, leaving the two friends alone.
“Why didn't you bring your boyfriend today? I would love to meet him,” Koki asked, stirring his cocktail.
“What for? So you can threaten him to beat him up if he ever hurts me?”
“To congratulate,” Koki grinned and Jin laughed at him, staring at his own glass.
“He's busy with work. We're going to meet him this weekend, at my place and please, don't feel offended but I'm not going to invite you because what will happen there is not your business.”
Koki scrunched up his face, feigning disgust. “I wouldn't go anyway, that's gross.”
Before Jin could retort, Koki's phone went off and Jin wondered whether God purposely wanted him to be without company that night. But Koki didn't pick up the call, only spared a glance at the flashing screen and stuffed the device back into his pocket with a dark face.
Jin looked at him questioningly. “Who is it?”
“Nobody.”
“Koki, I know you too well for my own good. Do you think I will buy that that gloomy expression means nothing? I know that face well, too.”
With a long sigh, Koki leaned back and fidgeted with his straw. “Okay, I will sum this up pretty quick, don't interrupt me and don't try to convince me about something that I can't be convinced about anyway.”
That was what Jin was the most concerned about, but knew if he didn't agree, Koki would shut himself away again and wouldn't let anyone to help. That happened only once so far and Jin never wanted to see that Koki again. So he nodded silently and waited.
“I met someone. It was a one night stand and god knows I don't want anything more. But that asshole can't comprehend this situation and keeps calling me. And now you're wondering, but this has never been a problem to Koki, he could get rid of the guy with a well-timed offence or simply the ugly truth. But I can't. Somehow I just can't. Every time I'm about to do just that, he says or does something and... I just can't. I hate this whole shit.”
Jin stared at his friend with a blank face until Koki decided to take a breath after the three-minute long speech. On his face appeared the shadow of the painful past, it was so clearly visible that Jin found himself shiver at seeing it. It didn't matter that almost two years had passed, Koki just couldn't really move on. He couldn't trust. “Koki.”
“I know what you're thinking and no, Jin,” Koki spat out angrily though it sounded more bitter than furious. “I'm so not going to get involved in something like that ever again.”
“Something like that? What? This is nothing like that. Or does he only want your money as well?”
“No,” Koki said quickly. Jin could almost see what Koki was thinking. How much he was fighting against getting close to that person, yet feeling the need to defend him. Jin assumed that whoever the guy was, he had already had a great influence on Koki.
“Koki, listen. And now you let me tell you what I have in mind, just like I did, okay?”
The other grimaced but nodded nonetheless.
“I've never felt like you did. No one has been as cruel to me as that bastard was to you back then. But I was with you, I was by your side and I saw what you went through,” Jin said, trying to ignore the pain that was plastered on Koki's face at the memories. “But you can't shut yourself away forever. This doesn't make any sense. If you feel good with this guy then just be with him. Now you know that you have to be careful, but...”
“You cannot be careful with emotions, Jin,” Koki interrupted in a bitter tone.
“Then take the risk, Koki. If you cannot control your emotions then it doesn't matter what you try to do against them, right?”
Koki closed his eyes and sighed. Jin was right for once. He desperately needed to have a smoke.
“When have you become such a witty brat?” he asked, frowning at Jin across the heavy curtain of smoke.
Jin laughed. “Since you've stopped thinking. Someone needs to do that, too after all.”
“Fuck you.”
The laughter just became louder and soon Koki found himself laughing with Jin as well. How he hated to be wrong. His cell phone started to ring again and Koki blinked at the device with hesitation.
“Answer it.”
“But-”
“Answer it, Koki.”
Koki rolled his eyes and picked up the phone, sending a glare in Jin's direction once more. “I hate you,” then he answered the call and when Jin heard the tone the other used, he was absolutely sure he had been right. “Yuichi?”
And Jin kept grinning at Koki for a long time from across the other end of the table, completely ignoring the flashing eyes of his friend.
-
At the end Koki left Jin alone as well to meet up with his mysterious Yuichi but Jin, for once, didn't mind. With a soft smile on his lips, he turned to walk home when his phone started buzzing against his thigh in his pocket.
A wide grin immediately found its way to his face when he saw Kazuya's name flashing across the screen.
“Hey,” he said gently when the line connected.
“Jin, how are you?” Kazuya's low and melodious voice hadn't lose its charm no matter how many time Jin heard it.
“I'm going home right now.”
“That's... good.”
Jin could hear the uncertain tone and made him frown. “What are you doing now?”
“I'm waiting.”
“For what?”
“For you.”
Jin stopped in his tracks. Did he hear that right? “What do you mean?”
Kazuya answered with a nervous laughter. “I'm here in front of your door and I rang the bell but you weren't here. Of course, you wouldn't know I'm here, I should have called...”
“Kazuya,” Jin cut him off, turning serious. “What's wrong?”
There was just a moment of silence at the other end of the line. “Nothing. Nothing at all. I just wanted to see you.”
Jin didn't notice when worry started to flood every corner of his body and mind. “Are you sure everything's okay?”
“Yeah. I just miss you.”
That was all it took for Jin to start walking in a frantic pace again, almost running. “I'll be right there.”
He slowed down only when he arrived at his house and finally caught a glimpse of Kazuya, leaning against his door, hands buried in his pockets, face tired but still beautiful as usual. The sight was breathtaking, so much that it made something snap in Jin's heart and sweeping through him with explosive force and the next thing he knew that the door slammed shut under Kazuya's weight as he pressed the other against the wooden surface and amongst passionate kisses, he tried to free Kazuya from all of his clothes, only to stiffen and still all of a sudden, earning a surprised look from the younger man, whose fingers were hooked in his collar.
“Are you okay?” Jin needed to know, just this one thing he needed to know before he would lose his sanity over that beautiful, alluring presence that was swallowing him in and that was Kazuya himself.
Kazuya smiled sweetly at him. “Now I'm okay. Stop worrying, I just had a long week and I missed you,” he whispered and sank his teeth into Jin's shoulder gently as he slowly pulled the shirt off him and threw it on the floor.
Jin hissed and moaned lowly, seemingly satisfied with the answer or just completely forgetting what the question was, his fingers hurriedly fumbled with the buttons of Kazuya's shirt, the younger man threw his head back, enjoying how Jin carressed his heated skin.
There was no doubt, Kazuya was a professional in the art of seduction but Jin knew, he could feel that what was happening, that was flooding his head and didn't leave anything out of his thoughts than a complete mess, was beyond physical. He knew it and he knew that Kazuya felt it too. It was there in each of Kazuya's whisper, in every touch and every breath he took. It was there in the burning eyes and in every word whispered in a shaky voice.
Jin wanted nothing else than to feel him, to feel everything he could offer, closer than it was possible, making every barrier disappear finally. It was a wonderful feeling, some kind of bizarre manifestation of the harmony between them as their heartbeats mirrored each other's.
Kazuya moved, just the slightest bit, hips brushing to Jin's who let out a louder moan, feeling more turned on than ever, then he answered with the same move of his hips, causing both of them shudder from desire and the unspoken emotions that lingered in the air around them.
Then it was only a matter of seconds, the clothes fell to the floor silently and then their bodies finally touched, skin on heated skin, making them feel thousands way of pleasure through moans and gasps. Jin knew he couldn't stop anymore, his whole body, every inch of him longed for this man and only him. He just wanted to drown into that feeling that pushed both of them far and further away from reality.
He could feel that Kazuya became impatient, it was there in the way he arched his back and it made Jin turn back into his senses a little bit. For once, he was grateful for his own laziness that he hadn't put that little tube away that he had bought a few days earlier, just dropped it there, next to the sofa so it was in his reach now when he had no intention to leave Kazuya alone even for a second.
As he fumbled with the package, Kazuya turned back to help him and before Jin could ask, he already poured lube into his hands and then Jin could only gasp when the warm fingers closed around him, smearing the cold liquid all over him.
Jin pressed his back against the back of the sofa and stared at the younger man as he crawled into his lap, and could hear every part of his body screaming from the desire to touch and kiss and pull and caress. Or just to look as Kazuya's tongue darted out and licked his bottom lip, his face flushed and hair disheveled. And then Jin was hit with a strong feeling just like once or twice before; that there was something ethereal about Kazuya, something not even worth being on Earth, something simply and purely beautiful and sensual. Enchanting and magical.
And that was what swept the thoughts away that had been restraining his temper and with a sudden movement he flipped Kazuya over and pushed him onto the fluffy carpet. It was so abrupt that Kazuya gasped, almost yelped in surprise, wrapping his arms around Jin's back for keeping his balance. Jin just lowered himself slowly until every part of their bodies could touch again and Kazuya moaned out that must be the most alluring voice Jin had ever heard.
“I want you so much that it isn't even normal,” Jin moaned out after a long kiss as they parted for a bit more air to breathe. Kazuya answered him with a squeeze and a small smile, a lift of his hips that urged Jin to move and just give him more pleasure, more friction.
The kiss that started out as a gentle brush, became rough and demanding, Kazuya's hands on his neck pulled him down and closer. When Jin broke the kiss, they were panting and gasping as the transparent liquied coated Jin's fingers and Kazuya lifted his hips and all that expressed the feeling that coursed through him was a deep sigh of pleasure and fluttering eyelashes which Jin watched with fascination. Kazuya was warm, heated around his fingers.
“Jin,” it was only a whisper and a hand trailing down his back and Jin knew he wasn't the only one who was impatient and needy. Another finger found its way through the muscles and Jin tried to find any sign if he was causing any pain. What he found was nothing similar to pain though, only trembling and sweaty skin underneath his palm on Kazuya's nape as the youngerman pulled him closer once again to kiss him, every gesture was like aphrodisiac to his senses.
“Enough,” Kazuya breathed into his ear, pulling Jin's hand away and wrapping his legs around his waist, planting wet kisses along his jawline, gently biting on the soft skin. “I want to feel you.”
And Jin wanted the same. Oh God, how much he wanted to feel Kazuya already. He carefully maneuvered himself a little lower and as slowly as he could, Jin finally linked their bodies together. Kazuya tensed, his grip tightened. And Jin's grip became frantic, too because the way they finally became one was almost too much to bear.
And then their gazes met and Jin froze, became immobile, the only movement was their chests rising and falling in an irregular rhythm and the trembling of their arms that were hooked around one another.
Jin let himself sink into the depth of Kazuya's eyes, suddenly feeling vulnerable and naked. Not physically naked, but completely exposed to his emotions and it was impossible for Kazuya to not see it. But he didn't mind. Somehow Jin didn't mind it, in that moment he wanted to give Kazuya everything with his entire being.
Jin moved slowly, the warmth that was spreading through him felt like it was turning him into ashes. And he loved it. Kazuya's back arched back, his head tilted, every move speaking of desire and longing; without words, he said it all.
The rhythm became more frantic as Jin's thoughts were abandoned, not leaving anything else than colorless and hot fog in his head and Kazuya. Only Kazuya.
Then everything fell out of control and rhythm, Jin could feel nails digging into his skin and teeth on his neck and heaving chest under his own and soft whispers and moans vibrating through his body and suddenly it became all too much. White exploded behind his closed eyelids and Kazuya was there again with him, gripping and moaning and sighing shakily.
Then they didn't move for a long time, they were just lying in each other's embrace in the moon-lit room, planting soft kisses on the other's exposed skin without having to pull away. Jin carefully lowered himself next to Kazuya, his arm tightly around the younger man's waist, their legs tangled.
Kazuya looked at him, his features gentle, his smile angelic, eyes a little bit clouded. His slightly trembling hand reached out to brush a lock away from Jin's face. Jin hummed in appreciation at the gentle touch.
“Stay here tonight,” he whispered to Kazuya and felt his heart sink into his stomach when Kazuya's serene expression turned into an apologetic one.
“I can't. I have some work to do for tomorrow. Next time.”
Jin nodded. It was okay. Next time. There's going to be many 'next times', he added to himself.
“I would like to shut you in the safe, next to my precious gemstones.”
Kazuya laughed out loud, his stomach trembling underneath Jin's arm, making him smile, too. “Wait, safe? I thought you keep the gemstones in the cabinet.”
Jin shrugged. “Sometimes I bring my work home. I hate sitting in the office. The most valuable stones are in the safe. And I'd put you there, too.”
Kazuya chuckled again and leaned closer for a kiss then lay back and enveloped himself in Jin's arms again to enjoy the other's warmth for another couple of minutes.
Jin found himself unable to tear his gaze away from Kazuya, and with an involuntary breath he took, he tried to breathe in the other's presence, wanting to savour the moment. His heart was still beating so fast he thought it would leap out of his chest sooner or later. For the first time in his life, Jin was sure there was nothing that could ruin the happiness that overwhelmed him and definitely nothing that could outshine it.
Jin was in love, hopelessly and beyond any doubt.
-
It was cold. That kind of cold that words couldn't express well, the dampness simply poured out of the walls, everything silent and sullen. The room was wrapped in that sort of silence that could make you want to scream just to break it somehow.
There were some whispers from behind Kazuya, disembodied and strained voices told tales of some kind of bizarre mixture of excitement and fear, which seemed so ridiculous as they fought with all their might to maintain the mask of calmness. But this wasn't the place and time where they were in control. Here, it took only one word from the person who held their lives in their hands and it could be over, just like that.
Kazuya was gripping the arm of his chair tightly, the hard lines of his face didn't let his emotions show. Fear was holding his heart in a vice grip with brutal force. Terror was coursing through his body, making his limps in agonizing numbness in several levels, in front of his eyes, the ugly wall of the room - that he had been staring at for an hour - became dark for a moment.
He regretted to have rejected his parents and not to let them accompany him. Back then he was so certain that nothing could go wrong. Everything was going to be fine. There was nothing wrong.
But right now, he wasn't so confident anymore and the feeling was hard to bear. He wanted to get an encouraging smile from someone, some reassuring words. Just one little gesture that would keep him going for another few minutes. Nothing could be helped anyway. The die has been cast.
A draft arrived from somewhere and the door trembled a bit in its frame, the metal doorknob sang a twisted melody into the silence and Kazuya felt his heart skipping the next beat, the fear pushed new waves into every inch of his body.
When he realized it was only the play of the wind, Kazuya let out a long sigh of relief and relaxed a bit, glad to have some more minutes to enjoy his silent agony. But happiness was cut short when the door really opened this time, and a young woman wearing only white, peeked out through the crack. Her unconcerned face made a startling contrast compared to the worried complexions of the people in the waiting room.
The woman wandered his gaze over the room until his eyes settled on Kazuya who didn't even dare to breathe.
“Kamenashi-san, the doctor is waiting for you. You can come in now.”
The cold voice of the nurse reached Kazuya as if it was a sharp slap against his face. He didn't know from where he managed to gather the strength to move but he somehow did, since the next thing he knew he was on the other side of the door as the lock clicked into its place behind his back.
He walked out forty-five minutes later, in his hand there was a brown folder, in the weak grip of his numb fingers. He moved slowly and a little robotic, walking through the little crowd in the waiting room, his face blank and colorless.
The elevator arrived with a loud ring and Kazuya entered. He could barely wait for the door to finally close, before his knees buckled and he slumped against the wall, the brown folder falling from his hands onto the dirty floor.
Sunstone
Sunstone was associated with the Sun during the Rennaissance because of its sparkling orange-gold hue. It was used by magicians to call upon the influences of the sun. It is a protective stone.
Symbolically, sunstone is linked to moonstone. Carry the two stones together to bring the influences of the Sun (Healing, Protection, Success) into harmony with those of the Moon (Love, Peace, Spirituality).
Sunstone is worn to give you extra energy when you are ill or under stress, stimulate sexual arousal and increase sexual energy, increase self-healing power and stimulates your personal power of attraction.
Moonstone
It is said if you give your lover a moonstone necklace when the moon is full you will always have passion with each other.
It has been worn as an amulet to bring good emotions to the wearer, while protecting those of a sensitive nature. It can reunite lovers who have quarreled. Moonstone is also considered a good luck stone.
Moonstone is a very personal stone. It is a reflection of the person who owns it. It does not add or detract, only shows how it is. This is why the moonstone is said to perceive that which "is". Moonstone is an excellent stone to use in meditation to understand oneself. Placing it in the moonlight of a moon reaching its fullness, not a full or waning moon, can revitalize it.
a/n. So??? I would love to know what you think about what really is going on here. :)) Are you confused? Surprised? Bored?
Next: o4. Sardonyx >>