The Deal 15./16.
the deal 15.
Akame, (Ryoda)
R; Romance, Humor, Angst, Friendship
Jin is a singer and he desperately needs a dancer for his upcoming show. Kame is a dancer and he has some trouble with bad guys. The two meet and hate each other but they have no other choice so they make a deal.
If you love me just a little bit
They were all over in the media, Kame saw them everywhere. Jin and that girl, Mizuki. In magazines, interviews, in paparazzi photos, the girl even accompanied Jin to press conferences and fan reports said they had seen them together at rehearsals and photo shoots.
And Mizuki didn't miss a single chance to babble about their blossoming relationship. 'I have always loved him. Fate seperated us for a while but thanks to god we found our way back to each other's arms.' Huh, Kame wanted to puke when he read those words. All Mizuki could talk about was that how much she loved Jin. She was deeply in love and now they were a couple.
In the pictures Jin didn't seem to be too happy to have the girl around. Most of the times he had a rather bored expression on his face, tugging on his sleeve, annoyed, while the girl was clinging onto it with an idiotic grin which was flashing through her perfect make-up.
Kame felt jealous. Not because he thought Jin was in love with the girl, he was simply envious that Mizuki could be there with the man and Kame knew it was only a matter of time for Jin to give in. Even if the singer loved him, Kame wasn't around anymore but Mizuki was. It was only a matter of time and Jin would realize soon that he could find comfort with the girl.
Kame tossed the magazine aside and his eyes remained fixed on the date. It's been almost a month that he last saw Jin when he went back to the singer's house. He knew that Jin was still searching for him though the older man could feel really helpless by now. Kame knew how it feels to look for something which you really want but can never reach. It is devastating. Kame wished Jin would give up.
He was glad though that Jin felt better, looked healthier. Apparently, the singer recovered and even the bruises and cuts had disappeared from his face. The last concert was delayed again after the incident and now there was only a week left until the last show. Kame's heart clenched painfully when he read the reports about Jin, Koki and the new dancer, Tegoshi. He wanted to dance next to Jin, he wanted to be the one to go onstage with him and share that intoxicating feeling, the adrenaline rush, the bright lights on his face, he wanted to hear the fans' screams. But what he wanted the most was to hear Jin sing and then look into those beautiful dark brown eyes, shining with excitement and joy as Jin would hug him, relieved and happy after doing his best on the stage and willing to share his happiness with Kame.
Now there would probably be Mizuki waiting for Jin offstage, and the hugs, the looks, the whispered words would all be Mizuki's share and not his. Not anymore.
“Kazuya”, a hoarse voice purred into his ears and Kame tensed, flinched involuntary as the rough hands started soothing his cheeks. “Why are you crying?”
Kame shook his head and gulped. “I'm not”, he lied with a forced smile on his face.
“Don't be sad”, Johnny said in a whisper. “I have a surprise for you.”
Kame suppressed a sigh; he didn't really want to know about Johnny's surprises, still he faked a curious tone. “What?”
“Guess who's visiting us now.”
Looking at the old man suddenly, Kame didn't have to fake his curiousity anymore. He followed Johnny out to the hall then stopped and just stared at the visitor in shock. “Maru?”
Nakamaru waved at him and smiled. “Kame. How have you been?”
Kame blinked at the man and didn't know what to say or do. Last time he checked, Nakamaru was working for the police against Johnny. So it all was a trick or Nakamaru was incredibly stupid to come here.
“Fine”, the younger boy replied eventually and tried to read the other's expression.
Johnny laughed and swung his arm over Nakamaru's shoulder. “You know, Kazuya, Nakamaru really did a great job during all this time. I've got interesting informations from him while he was playing his role so perfectly over with the cops.”
Nakamaru started laughing as well.
So that was it. Nakamaru was still one of Johnny's men and all this time he was helping Johnny. Kame sighed. It didn't feel right. He didn't believe a single word Nakamaru was saying now. He knew those fake laughters and forced voice way too well.
--
Jin closed the door behind Koki and Tegoshi and strolled into the kitchen, throwing the towel around his neck.
“You did really well today. You're in a good shape”, Mizuki purred into his ears as she sneaked her slender arms around Jin's waist from behind.
Jin shut his eyes tightly before he grabbed the girl's arms and forced them open. “It's okay, Mizuki, you can go home now.”
Mizuki rolled her eyes. She definitely had other plans. “But Jin”, she whined and turned the singer around to circle her arms around the man's neck. “I thought you'd let me stay tonight.”
Jin sighed and freed himself once again. “You were wrong then. I don't want you to stay here. Go home, Mizuki.”
The girl was persistent though, and when she saw she can't seduce Jin so easily, she decided to change tactics.
“You know, Jin, I've agreed to help you because I really think there is hope for us. And I don't want you to treat me like this.”
Jin slumped on a chair and rubbed his forehead. “Look, Mizuki, I told you it wasn't my idea. You agreed to be around and we pretend to be a couple but I don't want to have any kind of relationship with you. Not anymore.”
“But I do love you, Jin. I really do”, she said as she kneeled down in front of Jin, taking the singer's hand in hers and looked at him with big, begging eyes. “Give us a chance, Jin. You will see how much I love you. I can give you what you want.”
Jin gave a snort. “I don't think so.”
That was when Mizuki lost her patience. “Why? You really fell in love with that brat? He doesn't love you, he doesn't deserve you, Jin.”
The singer's eyes flashed dangerously. “Stop it, Mizuki, you don't know what you're talking about.”
Mizuki stood up and crossed her arms. “Why? Does it hurt to hear the truth? He doesn't love you, he left you. Forget him already and let me love you. That guy is just a spoilt brat who was playing with your feelings, you don't mean anything to him, Jin.”
Jin jumped up and grabbed Mizuki by her arm, who winced as he looked into Jin's angry eyes. “Shut yout mouth up, you don't know what you're talking about”, he hissed. “Don't you dare talk about him.”
Mizuki gulped and nodded. “Okay, I'm sorry, I shouldn't have said that. I promise I won't talk about him anymore.”
Jin released the girl's arms and Mizuki sighed in relief. Then she raised her hand and soothed the singer's cheeks, her voice turned to sweet and soft. “I'm sorry, Jin. I'm sorry, okay? Don't be mad.”
Jin sighed and stepped away. “It's okay. Just go home now, okay?”, he turned away. “I'm taking a shower now.”
“Jin, don't forget we're going to that interview tomorrow. See you there, honey”, Mizuki raised her voice to be sure Jin would hear her as he was walking upstairs.
“Yeah, whatever”, Jin mumbled and he was already far away to notice the knowing smirk that appeared on Mizuki's face.
-
When Jin stepped out of the shower, Mizuki was already gone. The singer sighed, partly in relief, partly because the house was so silent now that it almost hurt his ears. It was not Mizuki's voice, however, that he missed so much.
Somewhere in the kitchen, Jin's phone started ringing and he hurried downstairs to answer. It must be his manager.
But when he glanced at the screen, a frown made its way to his face. “Nakamaru?”, he spoke into the phone and held his breath.
“Jin? I found him. I found Kame.”
Jin's eyes widened. “Wh-what? Where is he?”
“Johnny is hiding at a great mansion, I found them today. The police is already there and they invaded the house. But...”
Jin took short breaths and pressed his palm on his chest. It felt like his heart wanted to jump out of its place. “But what?”
“He's holding Kame hostage. And he wants to see you.”
Jin ran out and tried to look for his shoes. “Just tell me where I need to go.”
“I'm with a police officer now. We're heading there. We're going to pick you up in five.”
“Okay”, Jin answered and ended the call.
He quickly put his shoes on and grabbed his jacket. He finally found Kame. Now everything, this nightmare, the suffering, the agony.. it all was going to end now. Jin only wished it would end well.
-
When they arrived at the scene, Jin could count at least twenty police cars and almost a hundred police officers, all of them pointing their guns into one direction, through the bars of the huge gate. None of them spoke or moved, though the tension was almost unbearable.
“AKANISHI!!! I WANT AKANISHI!! NOW!!” came the yelling from inside and Jin could feel his heart sink into his stomach. Johnny's voice was angry, desperate and it was obvious that the old man had already gone crazy and Jin didn't want to think about the possibility that he could have hurt Kame.
Johnny continued yelling and Jin stepped forward, ready to go inside when the police officer, who brought him and Nakamaru there, stopped him. “Akanishi-san, be careful and don't do anything stupid. In the moment he tries to do something we are ready to shoot him, but you need to be calm. Just do what I had asked you.”
Jin nodded and stepped in, passing the gate. He walked firmly but slowly, trying not to do any sudden movements which could startle Johnny. When he caught a glimpse of the two figures standing beside the swimming pool, he could feel his hands trembling so he clenched them into fists and went on until he could clearly see Kame the way he had never wanted to see him. A gun pointed at his head.
Johnny was standing behind the boy, one arm around the slender shoulders, the other holding the gun. Kame seemed dazed and didn't react when he spotted the singer. He raised his head and Jin's eyes locked with the boy's empty ones. Jin shivered.
Kame was there, in front of him, after so much time and longing and Jin couldn't help thinking how much he wanted to just hug him and hold him close. It wasn't the scene he had imagined when he was dreaming about meeting Kame again.
“Akanishi”, Johnny hissed, his eyes full of hatred and Jin could clearly see madness in those dark orbs. “I know it's over... I know this is the end for me...”
“Then why don't you just let him go? You're just making things worse you know”, Jin said, his glance remained fixed on Johnny's face.
“Because I needed to tell you something... I know... I can't win. I can't have Kazuya after all...” Johnny started laughing in a hoarse voice. “But I don't want you to have him either.”
Jin could feel the chills running up and down his spine at hearing the old man's words.
“Let him go”, Jin said as calmly as he could. “I stay here, just let him go.”
“NOOO!”, Kame yelled suddenly, drawing both men's attention to him. The younger man's face paled and Jin could see how his body began to tremble.
“Keep quiet, Kame”, Jin warned him in a low voice and Kame fell silent, though he was shaking more violently now.
“You can keep me here, I'll stay”, Jin repeated and stepped forward. “You don't want to hurt Kame, so why don't you just let him go?”
Johnny gave a look at the trembling boy and fidgeted nervously. “You know what? I think you're right, I've never wanted to hurt him”, he said and dropped his arm from Kame's shoulders, his fingers soothed the boy's bare neck. “Step closer”, he said to Jin and the singer did as he was told.
His eyes met Kame's and Jin was so close that he could almost touch him. It was frustrating he couldn't do so.
Johnny's fingers stopped stroking Kame's neck and the boy let out a shaky breath before the old man whispered into his ears. “It was a pleasure to meet you, Kazuya. Thank you for making this old man happy”, and he planted a gentle kiss on Kame's cheek before pointing the gun at Jin.
Jin held his breath as a tear made its way down on Kame's pale face.
“Go.” Johnny said to Kazuya, holding the gun over the boy's shoulder but Kame didn't budge. Johnny grabbed his shoulder and pushed him away. “Go!!!”
Jin could see Kame stumble away and he could only hear the splashing water as the boy fell into the swimming pool. But he couldn't see a thing as his body was turned around and he found himself in the same position as Kame had been before, Johnny's arm around his shoulder, the gun pressed to his head.
He looked at the pool nervously, his breath quickened as his gaze was looking for Kame in the water.
“Come on, what's taking you so long, Kame?”, he mumbled when the younger man still didn't show up. He felt the nervous twitch of the gun on his temple.
Then the realization hit him and his heart stopped beating for a moment. He can't swim. Kame can't swim! And this pool was obviously much deeper than the one he had.
“Johnny...”
“Shut up!”, the old man barked but his eyes were also looking for Kame.
“Johnny, he can't swim.”
“What?”
“Kame can't swim, let me get him.”
“No...”
“Please, if we don't...”, Jin had never thought he would beg to Johnny one day but this moment was really not appropriate to think about his pride. “Damn it, let me get him.”
“I SAID NO!!!”, Johnny yelled and Jin could feel how the gun pressed harder into his head. He felt himself on the verge of tears.
“YOU WANT HIM TO DIE? FUCK, LET ME GO!!!”
“I CAN'T!! NOOOO!!!!” Johnny shouted into his ears then the only thing the singer could hear was a gunshot and Jin's body twitched as the old man's arms dropped from his shoulders in that moment. He could feel how the pressure left his temple as Johnny fell back.
Jin couldn't think, he launched himself forward and jumped into the pool. He found Kame almost instantly, the slender body was lying in the bottom of the swimming pool, lifeless. Jin grabbed the younger man by his waist and pulled him up. When he reached the edge, police officers were already waiting for him and helped to pull Kame out of his arms and laying him on the grass.
Jin quickly climbed out and crawled closer to Kame, who was already surrounded by a little crowd. The singer tried to catch a glimpse of the boy while he was trying to stop himself from panting.
Jin could swear he had never felt as relieved as he was when he heard Kame coughing violently by the water he had swallowed.
“He's fine, he's fine.” someone shouted and Jin let himself fall down, with his head into the grass, burying his face in it as he felt the adrenaline finally rushing through his system.
“You okay, Jin?” Nakamaru kneeled down, placing a gentle hand on the singer's back.
Jin rolled over and nodded then he looked at Kame who seemed to be still in daze but he was fine, he was alive.
-
“There is no need for us to keep you here, Kamenashi-kun”, the doctor said as he finished the check-up. “You just need to sign the papers then you can go home.”
Kame slowly nodded and stared after the doctor who walked out, leaving him alone. Home? Kame chuckled bitterly at the thought. He couldn't believe that it was all over now. He had never felt so lost.
Johnny was shot in the head, he died immediately and Kame knew his life had changed forever. He should be happy or at least relieved but all he could feel was loneliness and fear.
He wanted to see Jin, to talk to him but after the other pulled him out of the pool, he wasn't left alone and couldn't even thank Jin for what he had done.
“Are you done?”
Kame snapped out of his thoughts and looked up, surprised. “Jin?”
The singer smiled at him and Kame wanted to cry at the seeing how tired Jin looked right then.
“Are you done with the check-up?” the older man asked again, stepping closer.
Kame nodded but still couldn't find his voice.
Jin chuckled. “Why are you looking at me like this? You thought I'd leave you here? Come on, let's go home”, he stopped in front of the boy and took his hand, squeezing it hard. Kame was taken aback by seeing the singer's eyes, full of mixed emotions; pain, relief, hurt and longing, but finally happy to even only touch his hand.
Jin entwined their fingers and turned around, pulling the younger man with him. Kame followed Jin silently.
-
They were sitting in silence in the car only their hands touching, both of them deep in thought and just enjoying the feeling of the other's touch. They didn't part even when they arrived and got out of the car, slowly walking inside the house.
Kame let out a sigh when they stepped in, the memories of the days he had spent there flooded his mind. It was definitely the happiest period of his life.
“Are you hungry?”, Jin asked as the door closed behind them, still holding his hand, refusing to even loosen his grip.
Kame smiled and shook his head. “No.”
“Do you... do you want to take a bath? You must be tired...”
“Jin”, Kame cut him off quietly, avoiding the singer's gaze. The atmosphere became tense around them but Kame didn't want to lie anymore, not to himself and definitely not to Jin. “Jin, I... I'm not staying here.”
He could feel as Jin's hand trembled on his own. He tried to pull his hand away but Jin didn't let him. “What are you saying?”
Kame took a deep breath and looked up into Jin's hurtful eyes. The singer held his gaze then licked his lips nervously and pulled him inside. “Come on, let's... let's just talk, okay? We need to clear things up.”
He led Kame to the sofa and gently pushed him down, sitting next to him.
“Okay, so... you don't want to stay here... why?” Jin asked, forcing his voice to remain calm.
Kame looked at him briefly, biting his lips nervously. “I.. I want to go away. To start anew”, Kame cleared his throat. “Jin... I think we should just let each other go and..”
“What?” Jin asked sharply. “I thought... I thought that when Johnny finally...”
“Johnny was only one of the reasons.” Kame mumbled, looking away. “We... you and I... this is just wrong.”
“Wrong?”, Jin echoed and stared at Kame in disbelief. “Wrong??? How can you say that?”
Kame shook his head. “No, I mean... I mean we can't be together, Jin. You are... you are an idol, you're famous...”
“So that's it? That's the problem?” Jin asked and sighed in frustration then he jumped up and kneeled down in front of Kame so he could see his face better. “Kame, look at me”, he whispered and lifted Kame's chin up with his fingers. “If you're worried about my career then please forget about it. Even if I have to stop, even if I won't be an idol anymore, I don't mind.”
“But Jin, this is your life.” Kame said as he stared into Jin's sad eyes.
“No”, the singer almost yelled. “You are my life. If you're not by my side it all means nothing to me. Don't you understand? I don't care about being famous or rich, money and fame never made me happy. It is you... it's you that makes me happy.”
Kame gulped and tried to fight back his tears, shaking his head weakly. “I... I'd never forgive myself for taking away something that important from you. I don't want...”
“Why are you so worried about it if I'm not?”, Jin asked and grabbed the boy's hands, pressing them to his chest. “You're underestimating yourself. You think it's not worth giving up something important for you, but I'm telling you it is! I'd give up everything and I'd be the happiest person alive.”
Kame bit his trembling lips and stayed silent.
“Kazu..”, Jin whispered and Kame stiffened at hearing his name, uttered so softly, so loving as only Jin could. “Kazu, please, if you feel anything for me, if you love me just a little bit, please...” the older man's voice was desperate and shaky, it hurt Kame so much hearing him like this.
“I can't... what about family, Jin?” Kame raised his voice, his face flushed as he tried to reason. “What about kids? I know you want kids, Jin, your own kids. I know you want to hold hands on a date and have a wedding. I can't give you that.”
“I don't care!”, Jin yelled, breathing heavily, his face almost twisted in pain. “I don't care. If it's not with you, I don't want it. And we can have kids. There are other ways, you know.”
“It wouldn't be the same.”
“I'd love them the same way!!!” Jin shouted.
Kame pulled his hands away from Jin's grip and threw them into the air, frustrated. “But you're not gay, Jin. Now you think you love me. And what will happen to us in the future? What's going to happen in a year, or in five years? You wake up one day and realize you've wasted so much time with someone who can't give you all you want.”
“You think you're the only one who's afraid of this?”, Jin lowered his voice. “You think I'm not afraid that your feelings change with time? I don't know what the future has in store for us, but I know... I know... whatever will come, I'm able to take it if you're with me. I... I just know you're the one I want to spend the rest of my life with. I've never loved someone this much and I never will.”
Kame held his breath as the singer fell silent, he saw nothing but honesty in those brown orbs. It was a painful sight.
They looked at each other in silence until Kame raised his hand and touched Jin's face, trailing his fingertips on his skin gently, feeling as the other breathed in and out shakily. “I'm sorry, Jin. I want to but I can't. I'm so sorry”, he whispered and all the hope that remained in Jin's eyes, disappeared slowly as he finally understood what Kame was saying. So it's over. It's really the end. They are over.
After a few moments of silence, Jin looked up at Kame and the younger man pursed his lips. He wanted to look away, he didn't want to see how hurt and broken Jin looked, but he couldn't turn his gaze away.
“Can I hug you? It's... it's been a long time and... I missed you so damn much.” Jin whispered and Kame immediately pulled him close, cirlcling his arm around the singer's neck.
Jin's arm wrapped around his back, clutching on the fabric of his shirt tightly, his other hand went up to his hair, digging his fingers into the brown locks and inhaling the sweet scent that was only Kame's. His embrace was so tight that Kame couldn't breathe properly but he didn't mind.
After a while he could feel Jin's lips on his neck, kissing him softly then his lips went up to his ears then to his cheeks as the singer slowly loosened his grip to reach Kame's mouth. His hand cupped the boy's face and kissed him gently at first then his kiss became heated and passionate and Kame could almost taste the desperation in it. Everything they had to suppress, they had to hide was there in that kiss; the way Jin pushed his tongue inside and sucked on Kame's lips, trying to save the memory of that moment. And it all was there in the way Kame responded, closing his eyes, fingers digging into the other's shoulders as he gave in to the kiss.
“Jin”, Kame mumbled and the singer stopped, staring into the boy's eyes.
“Let me make love to you, Kazu”, Jin whispered before pecking the other's lips softly. “Please, let me make love to you. Please, Kazu.”
Jin knew how pathetic he could have sounded in that moment but he didn't care anymore. He wanted to feel Kame, to pull him close, to feel his body on his own for one last time.
Kame didn't answer, just let Jin pull him to his feet and kissing him again, then slowly pushing him to the wall until the boy's back gently crushed against it.
The kisses became more desperate, the movements frantic and hasty, their breaths heavy - both of them just wanted more of the feeling which was so familiar and yet it was so painful now, knowing this would be the last time they could hold each other like this. Jin almost ripped his shirt off while Kame was doing the same and freed Jin from his clothes. Their jeans landed on the floor and their bodies pressed together, both moaning at feeling the other's heated skin on their own.
Kame could feel how Jin's body trembled and how shaky their breaths were when the older man finally thrusted into him. They both let out a shaky moan, Kame's grip on the other's nape tightened as the older man started to move.
Jin didn't want to do it this way, he wanted to go slowly and enjoy every move, every kiss and every touch to the fullest, he wanted to at least remember every single detail later but he couldn't stop, he couldn't slow down. The pain that was killing him inside, the desperation and helplessness he felt was too strong and Jin lost it.
He stopped only when Kame came with a loud groan and cried out his name loudly and Jin stilled, though he felt so close to his release that it was a real torture to stop at this point but he did nevertheless.
Kame panted into his ears and gasped when Jin's arms tightened around him.
“Jin...”, he started with confusion in his voice. He didn't understand why Jin stopped.
The singer buried his face into his neck. “I don't want it to end. Not yet...”, he said, his voice strained from all the emotions he had to hold inside, his shoulders trembled and Kame could feel the shaky breaths on his shoulders.
He tightened his embrace in response and moved his hips, making Jin moan. He knew Jin didn't need too much to come and he didn't want the man to torture himself anymore so he kissed the singer's shoulders gently and moved again and Jin couldn't hold back anymore; he came with a loud groan, which turned into a sob as he leaned against the slender body, pressing him into the wall.
“Jin...”
“Kazu... don't... don't leave me please...”, the singer said between sobs, his tears fell freely as he finally let his emotions go. “I love you. I love you so much, don't leave me, don't leave me, Kazu...don't...”
“God...”, Kame whispered as he was soothing the other's back, comforting him as much as he could, though he knew there was nothing that could make Jin feel better now. He had never thought he would see Jin cry, so fragile and vulnerable, so helpless. And somehow Kame thought he could do only one thing for Jin, that is, to remain strong and let him cry, as much as he wanted to because if someone had to stay strong for both of them during this time, it was Jin.
They slowly slumped down to the floor, holding each other close as Jin's sobs echoed in the room. Kame waited for him to calm down a bit then puled away and started wiping the singer's cheeks. “Jin.”
“Stay with me tonight. Please...”, Jin said as he started sobbing again. “Just tonight. Stay with me, Kazu.”
Kame nodded and kissed the other softly which Jin returned hungrily, still crying and sniffing.
They went to sleep late at night, both of them wanting to stay awake and lying next to each other in silence. Kame's hands were making slow circles on the singer's back, lulling him to sleep. Even when Jin finally drifted off, he was still holding Kame close, his arms wrapped around the younger one's body protectively, never letting him go that night.
-
Jin woke up shivering, he felt cold. He sat up in the bed suddenly only to find it empty. His heart started hammering in his chest, he could hear his heartbeats in his ears. Jumping out of the bed, he ran downstairs but Kame was nowhere to be found.
He remained standing in the middle of the kitchen, still not believing that the younger man wasn't there anymore. He felt so lost and lonely and he couldn't really know what to do.
The doorbell rang and Jin snapped out of his daze, running to the door, flinging it open with trembling hands.
“Morning, were you still asleep?”, Koki said as he entered, oblivious to the painful expression and disappointment Jin's face reflected at the moment. “Tegoshi is not here yet, I see. I'll make you a coffee, okay? The costumes are finally done for the concert...”, Koki went on with his babbling, strolling into the kitchen.
Jin followed him slowly then slumped on one of the chairs, staring in front of himself blankly. Koki placed the coffee mug in front of him and kept on talking about concerts, rehearsals, and everything else which didn't make any sense to Jin right now. Koki stopped speaking only when he sat down at the table as well and saw how Jin's tears were falling into his coffee mug silently.
16.>>