Fic: The RCMP Handbook and Guidelines on Probing
So china_shop made this post which referenced this link and I got bitten by a plot bunny that had the sense of humour of a dirty minded teenager. And I ended up writing it.
There is no pairing at all! And it's rated R, or however dirty your mind is. I take no responsbility for the latter. As far as I know the RCMP do not have a handbook on probing but if they do I want to read it.
110% CRACK. You have been warned.
The RCMP Handbook and Guidelines on Probing
Introduction
There are many different types of probing. There is the probing you do yourself and there is the probing in a teamwork environment. It is important to bear in mind that the guidelines for both are broadly similar although the goals of both may differ slightly in the primary execution. We recommend you familiarise yourself with the following scenarios before attempting any of them.
Probing Singly
This is perhaps the most dangerous type of probing. Here you do not have the support of anyone else. So, when engaging in probing on your own, you must make sure that any implements that are used are checked thoroughly beforehand.
A Mountie must always be sure to keep his equipment clean, and in good order. If you are unsure about the correct regulations they can be found in the equipment maintenance handbook: pages 14 - 16. It is always a good idea to bear these regulations in mind before attempting any personal probing. Or indeed any situation when your equipment needs to be used.
There are various instruments that can help in the personal probing situation. Latex gloves help keep things hygienic and it's wise to change after every probing you involve yourself with. A ready supply can be ordered for your post, and always be sure to be well stocked up.
A probe is, of course, important but the choice of probe rests with each individual officer. Of course it can be an uncomfortable instrument to use for the first few times. There are no regulations as to the type of probe to use, but use your own judgement in terms of size. You know what you are comfortable with.
You will find lubricant a very useful item in this situation. More is better than too little and never skimp on its usage. Without it probing can be much more difficult.
You might find extra light and a mirror are useful to help guide your way. Once you are more used to the procedure you will find it easier; as you will know where to probe. Some can find their way by feel alone, but others prefer the additional help of a mirror, until they become more familiar with the probing procedure.
Take your time with probing. It must be thorough. Do not put any pressure on yourself to finish quickly as you might miss something vital. Once you have completed a probing for the first time you will feel a great deal of satisfaction in what you have been able to achieve.
Once the probing is complete remember to dispose of the gloves, and wash your hands and equipment thoroughly. Keep everything in good order, for you never know when you might be called upon to probe again.
Probing in pairs
Probing with a partner can be an interesting and rewarding experience. Two sets of eyes mean that thing revealed during a probing are more noticeable. You can also share and discuss your relative techniques.
One of the advantages is that you can both inspect each other's equipment. It is always good to have someone else look over your equipment, to help make sure it is in good working order. Take your time and pay attention to each other's equipment, especially your probe. Perhaps comment on the differences or similarities as you see fit.
Before the probing commences you might find you want to choose your role. One of you should be the one doing the actual probing. You might choose based on relative experience, or perhaps technique preferences. Either way is fine as long as you are both comfortable with your roles.
The one not doing the probing might find it useful to hold the equipment, helping pass things the prober requires. The lubricant is especially important. The prober will tell you how much they need and you can help squeeze out the amount they require. You too can also can make suggestions if you feel more lubricant is required.
Allow the prober to take things at their own pace. They might require feedback from you about their technique, or you might again find it useful to make suggestions. Working together you should be able to achieve the right level of penetration during the probe. Allow yourselves to communicate in order to make the probe successful.
Both of you should note when there has been enough. You will know, from your own attempts at probing, how much it may take before the probe can be completed to both your satisfaction, and that of your partner.
You should of course both wear latex to make sure the probe is safe. Again perhaps one of you should take responsibility for disposing of any items you have used. Both of you should be involved in the clean-up. You may want to probe again but switch roles. Do remember to make sure everything is clean before attempting another probing.
Given time you and your probing partner will develop a good working relationship with regards to probing, and it can have a positive effect on the rest of your partnership. Do not underestimate the benefits of probing as a pair.
Probing as a team of three or more
You can of course probe with several people at one time. Bear in mind that some officers can be embarrassed by probing in front of so many of their colleagues. If you are uncomfortable with probing in a group there is no requirement to do so; although you may find it benefits you to watch the techniques of several others, or indeed having comments given to you about your own probing.
The basic guidelines are the same as when working in pairs. You need clean equipment and you must bear in mind that in a group situation your equipment will be on display to many of your colleagues, so you must be sure to keep it in good order, as it will be under more scrutiny than usual.
With so many of you it can be hard sometimes to designate responsibilities in a large probing situation. Sometimes it is best to allow one or two of your group to take charge and delegate accordingly. Although, as this is team exercise, everyone must do only what they are comfortable with.
There are advantages to a group probing. There is more room for learning different techniques, as well as more chance to become comfortable with different probes if you so desire. Again you must be ware of what you are comfortable with. Probing should not cause you undue embarrassment or pain. It should be an experience that enhances your experience as an officer in the RCMP.
In a group situation care must be taken to make sure everyone has a turn at probing. Use your own probes to avoid any undue confusion. Make sure there is enough lubricant and enough latex items as well. In a group situation hygiene becomes even more important as you come into contact with so many probes.
Once you have completed your first group probing you are bound to feel a sense of satisfaction. It is an important milestone in the probing aspect of your job, and you should derive pleasure from its successful completion. You might find yourself gathering together a trusted team of colleagues so that probing can be conducted in an efficient and open manner in future.
Occasional group probing can strengthen, and help forge, good working relationships. Each post should aim for at least one group probing session a year when possible, and more are always encouraged.
Probing and cooperation with other law enforcement personnel
You may find that occasionally you might be asked to probe with a member of another law enforcement agency. It might be a local police officer, or even an American police officer. In these situations you must remember your probing training. It is important not to embarrass the RCMP in probing situations as we have a world renowned reputation; which you must to uphold as a probing representative of the RCMP.
However, probing with other law enforcement personnel can be a rewarding experience. It allows you to experience a different method of probing. You might find that seeing a different technique, and indeed experiencing one, will only enhance your own.
Make careful notes of the differences between your techniques. Always be sure to emphasise the importance of hygiene in these situations. Keep protection your top priority. Others will be impressed by your thoughtfulness and attention to detail.
You might find that it is awkward at first to probe with someone not familiar with the RCMP guidelines. However, over time you are bound to build up a rapport that will serve you well. Indeed you might find that probing can build up strong relations between you and your counterpart.
Probing with fellow law enforcement and doing it well can enhance Canada's reputation and relations. Always bear this in mind when meeting other law enforcement personnel. There are often opportunities for probing, always make use of them where you can.
Conclusion
As we can see probing is a vital technique and very important for the RCMP. It is something that has been practised with pride by many generations of officers, and we are sure you will uphold that tradition. Practice often and you will not let the RCMP down.
We trust this handbook has been useful. If you require any further information on probing there are training sessions that are are run for new recruits, and officers wishing to refresh their knowledge. Ask your superior if you would like to attend one.
There is no pairing at all! And it's rated R, or however dirty your mind is. I take no responsbility for the latter. As far as I know the RCMP do not have a handbook on probing but if they do I want to read it.
110% CRACK. You have been warned.
The RCMP Handbook and Guidelines on Probing
Introduction
There are many different types of probing. There is the probing you do yourself and there is the probing in a teamwork environment. It is important to bear in mind that the guidelines for both are broadly similar although the goals of both may differ slightly in the primary execution. We recommend you familiarise yourself with the following scenarios before attempting any of them.
Probing Singly
This is perhaps the most dangerous type of probing. Here you do not have the support of anyone else. So, when engaging in probing on your own, you must make sure that any implements that are used are checked thoroughly beforehand.
A Mountie must always be sure to keep his equipment clean, and in good order. If you are unsure about the correct regulations they can be found in the equipment maintenance handbook: pages 14 - 16. It is always a good idea to bear these regulations in mind before attempting any personal probing. Or indeed any situation when your equipment needs to be used.
There are various instruments that can help in the personal probing situation. Latex gloves help keep things hygienic and it's wise to change after every probing you involve yourself with. A ready supply can be ordered for your post, and always be sure to be well stocked up.
A probe is, of course, important but the choice of probe rests with each individual officer. Of course it can be an uncomfortable instrument to use for the first few times. There are no regulations as to the type of probe to use, but use your own judgement in terms of size. You know what you are comfortable with.
You will find lubricant a very useful item in this situation. More is better than too little and never skimp on its usage. Without it probing can be much more difficult.
You might find extra light and a mirror are useful to help guide your way. Once you are more used to the procedure you will find it easier; as you will know where to probe. Some can find their way by feel alone, but others prefer the additional help of a mirror, until they become more familiar with the probing procedure.
Take your time with probing. It must be thorough. Do not put any pressure on yourself to finish quickly as you might miss something vital. Once you have completed a probing for the first time you will feel a great deal of satisfaction in what you have been able to achieve.
Once the probing is complete remember to dispose of the gloves, and wash your hands and equipment thoroughly. Keep everything in good order, for you never know when you might be called upon to probe again.
Probing in pairs
Probing with a partner can be an interesting and rewarding experience. Two sets of eyes mean that thing revealed during a probing are more noticeable. You can also share and discuss your relative techniques.
One of the advantages is that you can both inspect each other's equipment. It is always good to have someone else look over your equipment, to help make sure it is in good working order. Take your time and pay attention to each other's equipment, especially your probe. Perhaps comment on the differences or similarities as you see fit.
Before the probing commences you might find you want to choose your role. One of you should be the one doing the actual probing. You might choose based on relative experience, or perhaps technique preferences. Either way is fine as long as you are both comfortable with your roles.
The one not doing the probing might find it useful to hold the equipment, helping pass things the prober requires. The lubricant is especially important. The prober will tell you how much they need and you can help squeeze out the amount they require. You too can also can make suggestions if you feel more lubricant is required.
Allow the prober to take things at their own pace. They might require feedback from you about their technique, or you might again find it useful to make suggestions. Working together you should be able to achieve the right level of penetration during the probe. Allow yourselves to communicate in order to make the probe successful.
Both of you should note when there has been enough. You will know, from your own attempts at probing, how much it may take before the probe can be completed to both your satisfaction, and that of your partner.
You should of course both wear latex to make sure the probe is safe. Again perhaps one of you should take responsibility for disposing of any items you have used. Both of you should be involved in the clean-up. You may want to probe again but switch roles. Do remember to make sure everything is clean before attempting another probing.
Given time you and your probing partner will develop a good working relationship with regards to probing, and it can have a positive effect on the rest of your partnership. Do not underestimate the benefits of probing as a pair.
Probing as a team of three or more
You can of course probe with several people at one time. Bear in mind that some officers can be embarrassed by probing in front of so many of their colleagues. If you are uncomfortable with probing in a group there is no requirement to do so; although you may find it benefits you to watch the techniques of several others, or indeed having comments given to you about your own probing.
The basic guidelines are the same as when working in pairs. You need clean equipment and you must bear in mind that in a group situation your equipment will be on display to many of your colleagues, so you must be sure to keep it in good order, as it will be under more scrutiny than usual.
With so many of you it can be hard sometimes to designate responsibilities in a large probing situation. Sometimes it is best to allow one or two of your group to take charge and delegate accordingly. Although, as this is team exercise, everyone must do only what they are comfortable with.
There are advantages to a group probing. There is more room for learning different techniques, as well as more chance to become comfortable with different probes if you so desire. Again you must be ware of what you are comfortable with. Probing should not cause you undue embarrassment or pain. It should be an experience that enhances your experience as an officer in the RCMP.
In a group situation care must be taken to make sure everyone has a turn at probing. Use your own probes to avoid any undue confusion. Make sure there is enough lubricant and enough latex items as well. In a group situation hygiene becomes even more important as you come into contact with so many probes.
Once you have completed your first group probing you are bound to feel a sense of satisfaction. It is an important milestone in the probing aspect of your job, and you should derive pleasure from its successful completion. You might find yourself gathering together a trusted team of colleagues so that probing can be conducted in an efficient and open manner in future.
Occasional group probing can strengthen, and help forge, good working relationships. Each post should aim for at least one group probing session a year when possible, and more are always encouraged.
Probing and cooperation with other law enforcement personnel
You may find that occasionally you might be asked to probe with a member of another law enforcement agency. It might be a local police officer, or even an American police officer. In these situations you must remember your probing training. It is important not to embarrass the RCMP in probing situations as we have a world renowned reputation; which you must to uphold as a probing representative of the RCMP.
However, probing with other law enforcement personnel can be a rewarding experience. It allows you to experience a different method of probing. You might find that seeing a different technique, and indeed experiencing one, will only enhance your own.
Make careful notes of the differences between your techniques. Always be sure to emphasise the importance of hygiene in these situations. Keep protection your top priority. Others will be impressed by your thoughtfulness and attention to detail.
You might find that it is awkward at first to probe with someone not familiar with the RCMP guidelines. However, over time you are bound to build up a rapport that will serve you well. Indeed you might find that probing can build up strong relations between you and your counterpart.
Probing with fellow law enforcement and doing it well can enhance Canada's reputation and relations. Always bear this in mind when meeting other law enforcement personnel. There are often opportunities for probing, always make use of them where you can.
Conclusion
As we can see probing is a vital technique and very important for the RCMP. It is something that has been practised with pride by many generations of officers, and we are sure you will uphold that tradition. Practice often and you will not let the RCMP down.
We trust this handbook has been useful. If you require any further information on probing there are training sessions that are are run for new recruits, and officers wishing to refresh their knowledge. Ask your superior if you would like to attend one.