I'm a consumer whore...and how?
*looks around the auditorium and sighs*
"Well...here it goes," he mutters to himself. Never before had he ever faced a situation more nerve-wracking than this. How could they expect him to speak infront of all those people? He didn't know them...didn't think they were worthy of hearing his story. It was wrong. It was all wrong. But what else was he supposed to do? Run away from it all, making him seem weak, cowardly? No. He would have to stand tall and do this thing, if not for himself, but for those he loves.
Slowly he walked forwards on the stage. Before his was the mic-stand, and after that was the expanse of people. Thousands of people, none of whom he knew, or wished to know. Again the thought crept it's way into his mind - "I can't do this. I shouldn't". The ocean of strange faces stared upon him, their eyes calling him to speak. Slowly he walks forward and takes the microphone from the stand and speaks gently.
"What you are about to hear are my thoughts...and as such, what I say here has no bearing on the way I look at any of you..."
A few stiffled gasps escaped the mouths of the crowd, and he even caught the words "what does he mean?" as they floated from a conversation spoken too loudly. A bead of sweat runs down his face as he gathers himself to speak again.
"I am here to speak my feelings. They are not about you. They are not for you to judge or analyse. I need a place to spill forth my mind, and here is that place. Please, listen to what I say, but don't correct me, or take it personally."
After getting that out, he feels more confident. He can feel a small weight rising from his shoulders, setting him free. As he looks out into the auditorium, he notices that some people are leaving, but that does not matter. With a calm heart and calm mind, he begins to speak...
Things are getting tight. Things suck right at the moment. My money is being cut off, CenterLink are probably not going to pay me. I have to speak to a social worker today to see if they'll assess my situation and re-instate my payments.
The thing that sucks is that it is getting too close. If this doesn't work out, then both Laneth and myself are screwed. We're not going to be able to pay the rent for the house, buy ourselves food, or pay the bills when they come in. It's too close. Too much is happening all to damn quickly.
Mum has decided she's going be be fickle when the social worker talks to her. She doesn't know what she's going to tell them when and if they call, and from the way she has been acting recently, she's not going to be helpful. The only thing I can do in this case it to make out that the situation is a whole sight worse than it is, blow it out of proportion, and get the social worker to reinstate my payments through that. That's the only hope I can see.
There is too much to lose. I feel like I am failing. I feel as though I am letting down everyone. I am going to hurt so many people if this doesn't come through. Laneth and I are going to be screwed. Live under a bridge type thing. I can't believe that I've left eveything to the hands of fate...I kow that it's going to happen regardless, but that's not the point. I needed to have taken a heavier hand and acted out a lot earlier. Fuck.
I am sorry, everyone. I am truly sorry.
I just wish that everything would just stop for a while. I just want my CenterLink payments to come on, this shit brewing in Temple to stop, and just have a nice period where I can just sit back and watch, and not have to worry about anything. Just two weeks of not having to worry about where I am living, what I have to pay. Just so I can sit back and relax. Do something that I enjoy. Maybe even resume my magick studies and such.
I dunno...My life is just rather fucked up. And I hate it.
Sorry Sweetheart...
That is all
Love, Wisdom and Truth
Ainan Sword-Bearer
"Well...here it goes," he mutters to himself. Never before had he ever faced a situation more nerve-wracking than this. How could they expect him to speak infront of all those people? He didn't know them...didn't think they were worthy of hearing his story. It was wrong. It was all wrong. But what else was he supposed to do? Run away from it all, making him seem weak, cowardly? No. He would have to stand tall and do this thing, if not for himself, but for those he loves.
Slowly he walked forwards on the stage. Before his was the mic-stand, and after that was the expanse of people. Thousands of people, none of whom he knew, or wished to know. Again the thought crept it's way into his mind - "I can't do this. I shouldn't". The ocean of strange faces stared upon him, their eyes calling him to speak. Slowly he walks forward and takes the microphone from the stand and speaks gently.
"What you are about to hear are my thoughts...and as such, what I say here has no bearing on the way I look at any of you..."
A few stiffled gasps escaped the mouths of the crowd, and he even caught the words "what does he mean?" as they floated from a conversation spoken too loudly. A bead of sweat runs down his face as he gathers himself to speak again.
"I am here to speak my feelings. They are not about you. They are not for you to judge or analyse. I need a place to spill forth my mind, and here is that place. Please, listen to what I say, but don't correct me, or take it personally."
After getting that out, he feels more confident. He can feel a small weight rising from his shoulders, setting him free. As he looks out into the auditorium, he notices that some people are leaving, but that does not matter. With a calm heart and calm mind, he begins to speak...
Things are getting tight. Things suck right at the moment. My money is being cut off, CenterLink are probably not going to pay me. I have to speak to a social worker today to see if they'll assess my situation and re-instate my payments.
The thing that sucks is that it is getting too close. If this doesn't work out, then both Laneth and myself are screwed. We're not going to be able to pay the rent for the house, buy ourselves food, or pay the bills when they come in. It's too close. Too much is happening all to damn quickly.
Mum has decided she's going be be fickle when the social worker talks to her. She doesn't know what she's going to tell them when and if they call, and from the way she has been acting recently, she's not going to be helpful. The only thing I can do in this case it to make out that the situation is a whole sight worse than it is, blow it out of proportion, and get the social worker to reinstate my payments through that. That's the only hope I can see.
There is too much to lose. I feel like I am failing. I feel as though I am letting down everyone. I am going to hurt so many people if this doesn't come through. Laneth and I are going to be screwed. Live under a bridge type thing. I can't believe that I've left eveything to the hands of fate...I kow that it's going to happen regardless, but that's not the point. I needed to have taken a heavier hand and acted out a lot earlier. Fuck.
I am sorry, everyone. I am truly sorry.
I just wish that everything would just stop for a while. I just want my CenterLink payments to come on, this shit brewing in Temple to stop, and just have a nice period where I can just sit back and watch, and not have to worry about anything. Just two weeks of not having to worry about where I am living, what I have to pay. Just so I can sit back and relax. Do something that I enjoy. Maybe even resume my magick studies and such.
I dunno...My life is just rather fucked up. And I hate it.
Sorry Sweetheart...
That is all
Love, Wisdom and Truth
Ainan Sword-Bearer