Delusions...H/Hr
Delusions (H/Hr)
This story is inspired by a video in www.harryandhermione.org with the same title. This is my first fan fic and I’m really nervous about it!
Flashback:
Hermione and Ron stayed at Number Four, Privet Drive after a really wonderful Bill and Fleur wedding as planned. It had been really hard to convince the Dursleys to allow them to stay, but when Harry said, “Look, we, that includes me, promise that you will never know we exist. You will never see us lurking around in your house, okay? You never have to eat with us! That’s what you want don’t you, since you took me in when I was a baby? And, you can breathe freely, because it’s my last stay in here…” they agreed at once.
They went to Godric’s Hollow a day after Harry’s 17th birthday, where he paid respect to his parents’ graves and learned all he could about them.
Then, they had no choice but to stay at Number 12, Grimmauld Place, which was the most secret place they know. They discovered who R.A.B. was (Regulus Black), found the 4 remaining Horcruxes, and then destroyed them.
They agreed to keep all the things they’ve done secret. So no one knew where they stayed. Not even Ron’s and Hermione’s parents knew what they were up to… They haven’t been in contact with anyone…
While trying to track all the Horcruxes, Ron and Hermione got together. They were peaceful and sweet for several weeks. They frequently snogged around a lonely-looking Harry.
But after a month:
“Will you stop acting as if I’m a stupid git?!”
“I wasn’t! And shut up talking about me being really bright, sounding really JEALOUS, saying you wish you were worth more than you are - as if you didn’t do that enough to Harry before!”
“You SHUT UP! I just wanted you to MASSAGE my BACK, Hermione!”
“But I TOLD you, I haven’t got time for THAT! You know I’m supposed to look for books all around the Wizarding World on some hint of Ravenclaw’s possession! And YOU interrupt me with some STUPID massage as if you’ll die if I didn’t do it!”
“But still - OH and yesterday I told you to kill that big spider on the ceiling! And you DIDN’T!
“It was just a small, harmless spider RON! What a very silly thing to be afraid of! Why didn’t you do it yourself? GROW UP, WON’T YOU?!”
“GROW UP?! HOW DARE YOU! YOU KNOW WHAT, I’M TIRED OF ALL THIS! OUR RELATIONSHIP WON’T WORK OUT WITH YOU BEING SO INSENSITIVE!”
“ME? INSENSITIVE? I’VE HAD ENOUGH OF YOUR IDIOCY RON, LET’S JUST BREAK UP WON’T WE?!”
“FINE!”
“FINE!”
“Oh!” cried Hermione as she sat next to Harry on the stairs. Harry didn’t day anything.
“I thought it would work out! We stopped bickering for weeks since we got together! I didn’t know it would end this way!” sobbed Hermione as she laid her head on Harry’s shoulder.
“It’s going to be okay Hermione… I also thought at first that it’s gonna be a happy and long-term relationship, but I guess it turned out wrong…” Harry replied, and he wrapped his arm around her. “Look, don’t cry now… Shh… It’s okay… Stop crying… I want to tell you - I still want you and Ron to still be friends okay? I hope you will… or I’ll be forced to continue alone… And now I’ve realized… I don’t want to go on without my best friends…” Harry sighed.
Hermione looked at him with slightly bloodshot eyes and said, “Of course I’ll still be friends with Ron. I told myself that if this relationship won’t work out, I’ll never destroy our friendship because I never had friends like you two… and well, also because I don’t want to give you a hard time; and I really don’t want you to carry on alone without me…”
“Thanks… I’m glad I have you as one of my best friends…” replied Harry, as he patted Hermione’s back.
* * *
Before the final battle, Harry and Hermione had built a romantic relationship. And as opposed to Ron’s and Hermione’s relationship, theirs have already lasted 7 months. Ron and Hermione have stayed best friends, and Ron couldn’t be happier for them both.
Harry didn’t know why he had forgotten Ginny after 3 months, but a voice inside him told him - Well, maybe it was just for experience. A step… Because Hermione’s really the one for you! He felt a little guilty, but he really loved Hermione; and somehow he loves her more than he could ever love anyone… He had the feeling that everything was right, just right.
“Harry, I’m scared for you… I know we’ve done everything we can and I’m really sure you’ll defeat him… But I’m still scared…”
Harry and Hermione were sitting on a sofa in the drawing room.
“Mmm… You know what? I’m scared too… But I have to kill him. I will. I’ll do it for all the people’s lives he destroyed; I’ll do it for my parents, for Sirius, for Dumbledore, for Ron, and for you… Hermione, I’ll do it for you… If I need to sacrifice my life for Voldemort to be killed, I will.”
“Oh, Harry, don’t say that! I can’t think of how miserable my life will be without you… I love you Harry…” and she turned to hug him.
Harry hugged her back and started to kiss her ever so gently - but Hermione responded and made the kiss so intense… After ten seconds they were snogging passionately on the sofa.
“Harry… I love you… I would die for you Harry…” Hermione moaned into his mouth. Harry slowly caressed her face… her neck… down, down… her arm… her hand… down… her bum… her legs… it was getting hot… and then Harry shifted her onto his lap. Hermione wrapped her arms around his neck, kissing him as if thirsty for his lips. She let her tongue taste every part of Harry’s mouth that she could reach; and minutes after their tongues were caught in a tangle. Harry continued to stroke her… Feeling their bodies together…
After what seemed like an hour, they broke apart. Harry then wrapped one arm around Hermione’s back, and the other around her knees and carried her to their room, which existed just a couple of months ago, when they decided to take their relationship on a more serious level. He carefully and slowly laid her on the bed, and that night had been one of the best nights both of them had…
* * *
Hermione knows the consequences of loving ‘the Chosen One’: in the final battle, it’s either kill, or be killed; but that didn’t stop her from expressing the love she had that was actually there ever since, but was left undiscovered until recently… Harry tried to break up with her once as he did with Ginny, telling that she would be in danger if he continued being with her, but she said, “I’m not in more danger than you are! Voldemort knows I’m your best friend anyway, so it would make no difference if I’m your girlfriend; I’m with you whether I’m your friend or your girlfriend so the danger I’m facing is the same! Look, if you’ll stop me from loving you, I’ll kill myself Harry, I really will. Please let me have the chance to love you… Because after that battle, who knows whether you’ll come off… dead? But I’m sure you won’t Harry, I really am - the point is…” In the end, Harry gave up, accepting that she had a point, and that pretending that he didn’t want to be with her would take his life away…
* * *
It was the day before the final battle.
“HARRY!” Hermione ran to Harry and hugged him. It was of force really strong that they both fell to the ground.
“Harry, Harry I know you’ll kill him… You can do it… We’ve been preparing for months for this… You know lots of spells… You’ll be okay Harry… I know you will… Be careful okay? Don’t let him use Unforgivable Curses on you - deflect them with the defensive spells you’ve practiced. You’ll be great… Block out your thoughts with Occlumency - you’re a good Occlumens now. And Harry… I want you… to save your life for me… Don’t ever let him… kill you.”
Harry pulled her from the ground as he stood up. She was still hugging him, and looked as though she was about to faint.
“I’ll kill him Hermione. I’ll be fine. Don’t worry. Sleep well tonight Hermione. I promise I’ll come back alive… I’ll live for you… I may even come back unhurt - I’ll try to! Remember this Hermione, always remember this: I LOVE YOU. Even if I’ll come back alive or dead tonight, I always will love you…”
* * *
“Brilliant Harry! We’ve been dueling for 3 hours now! Have you had enough Harry? Are you tired? Do you want me to kill you now? It would be fast, maybe you won’t even feel anything! No? Crucio!”
Harry deflected it with a waving of his wand. He was a bit drained, but he was ever ready to kill him.
“Oh! I see you’ve learned a lot of spells eh? Did that DEAD Muggle-loving fool Dumbledore teach you? Or is it your filthy Mudblood girl? You didn’t think I knew about you and that MUDBLOOD didn’t you?! I could sense unease… Delicious…! You LOVE her?! Tell me, Harry, what would you say if I killed her after I killed you? Surely you’ll thank me? You’ll be reunited with your filthy girlfriend and mother, and your stupid father!”
“AVADA KEDAVRA!!!” Harry bellowed, except that he wasn’t the only one - both of them had cast the Killing Curse - and it seemed that Lord Voldemort had changed his wand because blinding green light erupted from both sides and a second after, both of them lay dead… on the ground…
* * *
“Harry? Harry? Is that you? LUMOS. HARRY? Wake up! Please - it’s all over. Voldemort’s dead! You did it Harry! You’re great! I told you you can do it! Wake up Harry. HARRY!”
“Hermione, he’s dead. Harry’s dead. They killed each other at the same time...”
“Ron, what are you saying? Don’t be silly! Harry, how are you feeling? Talk to me Harry…”
“Hermione, I’m really sorry… but it’s true… Harry’s… DEAD”
And tears started to form around Hermione’s eyes as she realized the truth. She started screaming. She pounded angrily at the ground. This can’t be. I know you’re just pretending Harry, so STOP joking!
“Hermione, we need to go. The Ministry’s going to take his body now… Let’s go…”
“NO!”
Hermione won’t let go of Harry. She clutched his robes. She shook him, trying to wake him up. She touched his face. While crying hard, she kissed his lips. She kissed him hard, expecting he would respond. She desperately tried to give him the “mouth-to-mouth resuscitation… But Harry won’t move…
Ministry officials started arriving and trying to take Harry’s body from her; but she still won’t let go…
“Ms. Granger, please…We have to take ‘The Chosen One’ now, let go.”
“NO, he’s still alive, trust me… Harry? Wake up! Show them you’re alive… Show them I was right… Come on Harry - NO! Don’t take him! Please don’t! PLEASE -”
“Hermione, let’s go” said Ron as he pulled Hermione from Harry and the Ministry Officials successfully got Harry’s body from her.
* * *
Days after, Hermione started making hallucinations that Harry was still alive and well with them. She acted as though she could see him.
”Hermione, I’m dead… I want you to go on with life without me… I want you to be happy… Just love… Ron instead…”
“Harry, I’m really proud, relieved and so happy that you’ve killed Voldemort! Now I can decide what work I’ll be doing!”
”Oh Hermione, stop acting as if I’m still alive… I love you Hermione, and I want you to forget me…”
“I really wanted to work for the Ministry. I want to make things better in the Wizarding World… I want to continue S.P.E.W. you know… I think I told you that before… So, what do you think Harry?”
“Hermione, please. Harry’s dead…”
“Listen to Ron, Hermione. I love you, but please listen to him…”
Hermione looked mad, “Ron, what are you saying? Will you please stop joking around that Harry’s dead! He’s had enough! Haven’t you Harry?”
“Fine… I’ll just leave you then, I need to go to the Burrow, dinner with my family…”
“Okay, say hello to them from me. I’ll just be here with Harry!”
Ron sighed. Hermione has been like this for more than a month now. He couldn’t leave her alone in Number 12, Grimmauld Place thinking that Harry’s still with her…
* * *
“Good morning Ron! I cooked bacon and eggs for breakfast today, Harry said he missed them after eating stale food in can for weeks while we were living secretly…”
“Oh - okay”
Hermione had set a plate for Harry too, and she set hers next to what was supposedly his then sat down and began eating with Ron.
“Harry, do you like more bacon? I cooked them just the way you wanted them! How about some toast? Here, have some butter too…” And she put bacon and toast on Harry’s empty plate.
”Hermione, you Know I couldn’t eat anymore! I want you to be happy Hermione…”
”Hermione… P-L-E-A-S-E. I don’t know why you keep acting like Harry’s alive. We’re all really really sad that Harry’s dead, but please don’t act like he isn’t… If you need someone to talk to, you can always come to me! I’m your best friend Hermione… We’ll all be here for you! Ginny, mum, dad, Luna, Neville, Tonks, Lupin… I know it’s hard to accept Harry’s dead, but he is…”
“Don’t you dare suggest that I’m out of my mind! Don’t you dare say that Harry’s dead, because he ISN’T!”
And she left the table without finishing her meal; leaving Ron looking really concerned and sad.
* * *
Hermione rested on her and Harry’s bed, crying.
“Harry, why does everybody think you’re dead? That I’m pretending? Do they think I’m delusional Harry? Why are they doing this to us? After you killing Voldemort and all?!”
“Because I am dead Hermione. Please love, calm down… and accept it… I am DEAD…But I’m always here with you Hermione… You’re never alone…” And Harry’s spirit came to her, laid next to her and kissed her.
Hermione felt cold breeze brush her face. “Harry, I love you… “
“Come Harry, let’s sleep then… I’ll just dress up…”
Harry frowned, what happened to Hermione?
* * *
“Hello Ginny!”
“Hiyah Hermione!”
And they hugged.
“Hermione, I wanted to visit you because… well… er… Ron said while you 3 were destroying the Horcruxes - you and Harry got together?!”
“Yeah! Oh I love him, Ginny! I hope you’re not mad at me…”
“No of course I’m not!”
“So - I also heard from Ron - you and Neville are together now?! It is shocking! I always knew Neville fancied you, but I never thought you would fancy him back!”
Ginny replied, “I really loved Harry before… but I didn’t know why I was over it after a few weeks! I really thought he would be the one I would marry, and then Neville and I became friends. We grew close; and then we ended up together! I don’t know, but somehow, I felt it was him all along…”
Hermione smiled. “Wow… and are you going to be married? You really love Neville?”
“Of course! I love him more than I’ve ever loved anyone… We compliment each other in a way… I think we’re getting married a year after next…”
“Well, me and Harry here” - she nudged at the empty seat next to her - “ We’ve actually been together for 8 months now… I love him Ginny, I really do… I think if he died in his fight with Voldemort before I’d kill myself too… Oh and we haven’t discussed our wedding yet, but I hope it would be soon!” She looked lovingly at her side.
Ginny frowned, “Well, Hermione… Harry’s DEAD… It’s really hard to accept though isn’t it? But you have to move on Hermione… Don’t worry, I’ll be here for you always when you need me… He’d dead, but I’m sure he will always watch you and keep you from harm… I know somewhere, he’s watching you Hermione, and he wants you to be happy…”
“STOP SAYING THAT! OHHH!!! HARRY IS NOT DEAD! I HATE YOU! I HATE YOU ALL!” and Hermione ran to her room, crying.
Ginny shook her head and said “Oh Hermione… Just accept it… I know he wants you to continue life and forget him…”
* * *
Hermione’s delusions went on for almost a year after Harry’s death. Ron, Ginny, Mrs. Weasley, Luna, Lupin and Tonks tried everything to help her recover from this state. They talked to her everyday, spent time with her in other places, brewed her potions to calm her and for her to overcome denial - but Hermione still was delusional…
And so, exactly a year after Harry’s death, Hermione couldn’t take it anymore. Her delusions went worse. Her brain and her heart kept telling her “Harry, Harry, Harry, Harry, Harry, Harry, Harry…” Harry tried everything to make her hear him, to make her stop; but obviously, he was dead, and so no matter how he shouted at her at the top of his lungs to try and make her stop, he won’t be heard. ”HERMIONE! NO!”
Hermione had poisoned herself.
“HERMIONE!”
Ron was the first to see her, lying down holding Harry’s portrait. He quickly called for the other Weasleys and past Order members and together they brought her to St. Mungo’s.
“Hermione, not you too! Please not you too!”
But it was too late. Hermione was dead.
“Harry! Harry I’m here! I poisoned myself Harry! I’ve had enough! I want to be with you Harry! I’ve missed you so much! I really couldn’t live without you! Harry where are you?”
“I’m here Hermione…”
Hermione ran to him and hugged him so tight. She wrapped her arms around him and stared at the face she had longed to see for so long. She looked at the lightning bolt-shaped scar on his forehead that was there ever since she had met him on the train, the emerald green eyes that she longingly looked at too often, his nose which looks nothing but sexy to her eyes, and his tender, soft lips, which she kissed so passionately and intensely as she had never done for a whole year. And it was that, that made her realize, she was in heaven.
“It’s okay Hermione… It’s now over. It’s just a memory…”
* * *
Ron suffered a deep depression. His to best friends in the world are now gone, and fighting the urge to join them was so hard. It was a good thing that he had Luna with him, who he has recently found love with; she was the girl that can make him laugh all the time, the only girl that spoke such aweful truths, and as of now, the only girl that can make him happy…
~*The End*~