Listen here, Piper!
This morning I took a walk to my friend Ben’s apartment. I saw No Face careening toward me on a stolen bike, got nervous and smoked in a cigarette in a small alley. As I leaned against the wall, I felt a strange probing on my ankles and looked down to find a little black cat. At first I ignored the creature… but it’s molesting continued. I told it apathetically that I was more of a dog person, and it started to climb up my jean-covered leg seductively. I was impressed by this. Some deep rooted and never before seen maternal instincts took hold and I picked it up. When I got to Ben’s place, he told me he recognized the cat- said it had been around for awhile, a common stray. So I decided to take the creature home with me, as my new roommate. I ace ventura’ed it into my room and violated it inquisitively to found out it was a girl… or a boy with a very small feline penis. For this reason, I named her Whiskey… for if whiskey was a cat, it would be a girl, or a not very well endowed boy.
Whiskey is enjoying herself. She is appreciative of the warmth, therefore is quite polite and poops in a litter box, or within 12 inches of which. I assume her aim is off from frozen rectum, poor dear.
Whiskey and I want to have a party. By party I mean I’m lonely and want to coerce people to come over and pretend to be my friend for a night with free beer.
Whiskey is enjoying herself. She is appreciative of the warmth, therefore is quite polite and poops in a litter box, or within 12 inches of which. I assume her aim is off from frozen rectum, poor dear.
Whiskey and I want to have a party. By party I mean I’m lonely and want to coerce people to come over and pretend to be my friend for a night with free beer.