2005
Overall I can't complain. Hell, I should be thankful for this past year; even if some shit happened it wasn't that bad at all. I think it's actually the first year in the millennium where things don't go horribly wrong.
I mean, in the beginning it was just like every other year: traveling from one spot to the next while trying to leave my problems behind, but some time around May (before that, I think) I managed to settle down. I got an apartment in Boston, I looked for a job, and I was okay. Then I decided to look for my brother and by luck I was able to find him. Or he found me - I'm still not sure about that one. Either way I was able to spend half the year as something I had never been: a younger brother. After meeting DJ I was able to meet his wife, his children...and our father. After twenty years I met my...'father.' Some time later I met my mother, who I had never met before. Heh, 2005 was the year for the reunions, I guess.
Then, throughout the year, I was able to meet some people and something else completely unexpected happened: I trusted them and some have become close friends of mine. I went from having one person that I considered a friend to... ...well, more. They've proven that I can trust them, and that I can just...go to them when I need help (which is still a little hard to do - it's hard to break old habits), and I can't thank them enough for that.
The year ended a little different than what I had planned. DJ, his family and I went to Nova Scotia for my dad's Douglas' wedding, and afterwards we stayed there for the holidays. Except, on the 23rd, DJ got sick. Really sick. Again. He's stable enough to be at home right now (he was able to make the trip back to Chicago and I'm back in Boston now), but Christmas was spent in the hospital. It was nice nonetheless, but I know he regrets it more than any of us do. By New Years he was at least able to be home, so...I'm glad for that.
[locked]Something that was definitely not planned was me going back to work for Jack; which I did in December. You know that saying, with "you can take the boy out of the street, but you can't take the street out of the boy"? I've said it before and I'll say it again that, that saying, fits me perfectly. At first I went back because I was forced to and blackmailed into doing it, but after I lost Logan I just...didn't see a reason not to. It was as if, by losing him, I lost the only real reason I had to be responsible and the only logical thing was to go back to the life I used to know. Heh, when I lost Aidan I left that life entirely, but I lose Logan (and not even losing him, because I can still go visit him whenever I want) and I go back. [/locked]
My hope is that 2006 won't be that bad, that 2005 was the beginning of something good. My fear is that DJ won't be able to make it for another year. In February I'm opening the restaurant my brother, Aaron and I have been working on for months, so that's something to look forward to. I don't think I could have ever planned any of it, or expected it. This past year I turned into someone's brother, someone's son, an uncle, a friend... With that, in my book, 2005 was a very good year.
I mean, in the beginning it was just like every other year: traveling from one spot to the next while trying to leave my problems behind, but some time around May (before that, I think) I managed to settle down. I got an apartment in Boston, I looked for a job, and I was okay. Then I decided to look for my brother and by luck I was able to find him. Or he found me - I'm still not sure about that one. Either way I was able to spend half the year as something I had never been: a younger brother. After meeting DJ I was able to meet his wife, his children...and our father. After twenty years I met my...'father.' Some time later I met my mother, who I had never met before. Heh, 2005 was the year for the reunions, I guess.
Then, throughout the year, I was able to meet some people and something else completely unexpected happened: I trusted them and some have become close friends of mine. I went from having one person that I considered a friend to... ...well, more. They've proven that I can trust them, and that I can just...go to them when I need help (which is still a little hard to do - it's hard to break old habits), and I can't thank them enough for that.
The year ended a little different than what I had planned. DJ, his family and I went to Nova Scotia for my dad's Douglas' wedding, and afterwards we stayed there for the holidays. Except, on the 23rd, DJ got sick. Really sick. Again. He's stable enough to be at home right now (he was able to make the trip back to Chicago and I'm back in Boston now), but Christmas was spent in the hospital. It was nice nonetheless, but I know he regrets it more than any of us do. By New Years he was at least able to be home, so...I'm glad for that.
[locked]Something that was definitely not planned was me going back to work for Jack; which I did in December. You know that saying, with "you can take the boy out of the street, but you can't take the street out of the boy"? I've said it before and I'll say it again that, that saying, fits me perfectly. At first I went back because I was forced to and blackmailed into doing it, but after I lost Logan I just...didn't see a reason not to. It was as if, by losing him, I lost the only real reason I had to be responsible and the only logical thing was to go back to the life I used to know. Heh, when I lost Aidan I left that life entirely, but I lose Logan (and not even losing him, because I can still go visit him whenever I want) and I go back. [/locked]
My hope is that 2006 won't be that bad, that 2005 was the beginning of something good. My fear is that DJ won't be able to make it for another year. In February I'm opening the restaurant my brother, Aaron and I have been working on for months, so that's something to look forward to. I don't think I could have ever planned any of it, or expected it. This past year I turned into someone's brother, someone's son, an uncle, a friend... With that, in my book, 2005 was a very good year.