"2. A lovely being, scarcely formed or molded, a rose with all its sweetest leaves yet folded."
When I first read that quote, the person that came to mind right away was my little sister so this is about her. Yeah, the entry's probably a little more personal than my usual ones, but does it matter? I'm the big brother; I get to talk about her as much as I want.
No matter how much Hannah tries to pretend that she's already an adult, she's still my kid sister. Heh, I doubt I'll ever stop seeing her as just a kid, but right now she really is just...young. When I was her age I was a loudmouth, obnoxious, immature bratty kid that was already a junkie and Hannah is just the complete opposite. She's mature for her age but still innocent in a lot of things. She's good with all her schoolwork, she's fun to be around, she's kind to everyone and has this smile that's just...contagious.
I still remember how she called me out of nowhere just a few days after I had visited Elise that first time, how she started talking to me as if we had really been brother and sister all along. When I had that damn heroin relapse and I was staying at Elise's while I was going through the withdrawal, Hannah never shut me out because I had been an idiot. Instead she'd get home and read to me even if all I wanted was to just be alone. She'd charge her iPod and leave it with me while she was gone, just so I wouldn't have to be alone, and she did the same while I was in the hospital this last time. She marks the day on the calendar each month that I've been clean, with a big happy face, letting me know that she's proud of me. That's just how great she is.
You know what's terrifying? She looks up to me. She trusts me in a way that not a lot of people have trusted me before, and I hate the thought of letting her down. I'm the big brother, you know? I don't want anyone to ever hurt her. I want to somehow shield her from the boys that could break her heart in any way, but I know that I can't so my job is to do the next best thing: If she ever needs me, then I'll be there.
As much as she looks up to me, I hope she never turns out how I did, and I hope that she doesn't go in the same direction Nicole is going towards. I hope Hannah holds onto a bit of that innocence and that kindness that have become like her trademark, because she's perfect how she is.
No matter how much Hannah tries to pretend that she's already an adult, she's still my kid sister. Heh, I doubt I'll ever stop seeing her as just a kid, but right now she really is just...young. When I was her age I was a loudmouth, obnoxious, immature bratty kid that was already a junkie and Hannah is just the complete opposite. She's mature for her age but still innocent in a lot of things. She's good with all her schoolwork, she's fun to be around, she's kind to everyone and has this smile that's just...contagious.
I still remember how she called me out of nowhere just a few days after I had visited Elise that first time, how she started talking to me as if we had really been brother and sister all along. When I had that damn heroin relapse and I was staying at Elise's while I was going through the withdrawal, Hannah never shut me out because I had been an idiot. Instead she'd get home and read to me even if all I wanted was to just be alone. She'd charge her iPod and leave it with me while she was gone, just so I wouldn't have to be alone, and she did the same while I was in the hospital this last time. She marks the day on the calendar each month that I've been clean, with a big happy face, letting me know that she's proud of me. That's just how great she is.
You know what's terrifying? She looks up to me. She trusts me in a way that not a lot of people have trusted me before, and I hate the thought of letting her down. I'm the big brother, you know? I don't want anyone to ever hurt her. I want to somehow shield her from the boys that could break her heart in any way, but I know that I can't so my job is to do the next best thing: If she ever needs me, then I'll be there.
As much as she looks up to me, I hope she never turns out how I did, and I hope that she doesn't go in the same direction Nicole is going towards. I hope Hannah holds onto a bit of that innocence and that kindness that have become like her trademark, because she's perfect how she is.