muse_playground: 59. Mun’s Turn [ooc]
Prompt: Here’s your chance to sound off about that muse in your head that drives you crazy, makes you ride an emotional rollercoaster, demands things happen their way even if you wanted to do something different with their storyline and all those other things our little darlings do to us, their slavishly devoted typists. Remember to post this as OOC (out of character).
As I was sorting out some things in Michael's journal, I realized that it's almost going to be two years since I started writing him actively and (after I got over my initial shock) I started thinking of what a roller coaster it all has been.
I think it's safe to say that, from day one, I knew that Michael was not going to be an easy character to write. When I first started writing him I didn't have much backstory about him - just that he was a retired mercenary, who had lost his family some years before that, and was trying to start a new life. He was quiet, too, which worried me a little because I wasn't sure if I was going to be able to draw him out as time went along.
When Michael is quiet it's only because a)he's plotting something, b)he's moody, c)something didn't go the way he wanted. You'd figure that with these choices there'd be a higher chance of him being quiet (especially with B), but things don't work out that way and, when it comes to my muses, he's the one that takes up most of my time. He's loud, he has an explosive temper that can get pretty bad if he doesn't control it, and since there's not much that he lets go, usually he's grumbling around if he has nothing else to do. Oh, and he makes it almost impossible for me to have more muses because he likes to take up all the space that he can get, and kick out anyone else that gets in the way. Believe me, it's happened. So far he's been relatively okay with his new headmate, but I think that's only because she's not backing down no matter what Michael says or does.
Worst of all (at least for me), he's stubborn. Looking back on all the characters I've ever had, I think it's safe to say that Michael wins as the most stubborn muse. For example, (and I'm aware that I sound pretty crazy as I say this) I can't start a storyline without him "agreeing" to it. Why? Because the muse goes quiet on me when that happens - and I can assure you that it has happened before. I can't force him to do something he doesn't want, or that he's not ready for, because things have to be his way, and his way alone. If there's something that I want to write about but it makes him feel too vulnerable or exposed, then he keeps to himself until I come to realize that I won't be able to write about it. He sets his own pace, and most of the time (even if it's frustrating) I've come to see that it's usually for the best. I just never fully admit that he's occasionally right, because there'd be no living with him then.
As much as I want to strangle him, though, I love my muse. Even if he's secretive, and moody, and stubborn, etc., I've come to explore his good side too. Which he does have, even if he tries to bury it most of the time. As a writer, the thing that I love most of him is that he's definitely a challenge. Since he's an original character and there's no real canon that I have to follow (except for what I've already given him by now), I have to write the fics and responses that ultimately make him who he is - if I don't do that right, and if I don't portray it properly, then I don't do him justice as a character and that's something that I never want. Sometimes it's hard because, even if there are a few things that he and I have in common, Michael is so completely...different than me. His temper, the things he says, the way he says them, how he reacts to something... It's all so different sometimes that I double check whatever it is that I'm writing just so I can make sure that that's really how Michael would respond, and not just me adding in my thoughts/feelings. I think both he and I have done a lot of growing up (him as a character, and myself as a writer), and I absolutely love that about him.
There are still a lot of points in Michael's life that I want to explore more, and there are plenty of things that I have yet to write about him, so I'm hoping this roller coaster ride he's having me ride with him keeps going for a long, long while. We do have a sort of love/hate relationship as a writer and a muse, but it makes things interesting, that's for sure. At this point, after writing him for so long, I really can't imagine not writing him anymore and that's perfectly fine by me.
As I was sorting out some things in Michael's journal, I realized that it's almost going to be two years since I started writing him actively and (after I got over my initial shock) I started thinking of what a roller coaster it all has been.
I think it's safe to say that, from day one, I knew that Michael was not going to be an easy character to write. When I first started writing him I didn't have much backstory about him - just that he was a retired mercenary, who had lost his family some years before that, and was trying to start a new life. He was quiet, too, which worried me a little because I wasn't sure if I was going to be able to draw him out as time went along.
When Michael is quiet it's only because a)he's plotting something, b)he's moody, c)something didn't go the way he wanted. You'd figure that with these choices there'd be a higher chance of him being quiet (especially with B), but things don't work out that way and, when it comes to my muses, he's the one that takes up most of my time. He's loud, he has an explosive temper that can get pretty bad if he doesn't control it, and since there's not much that he lets go, usually he's grumbling around if he has nothing else to do. Oh, and he makes it almost impossible for me to have more muses because he likes to take up all the space that he can get, and kick out anyone else that gets in the way. Believe me, it's happened. So far he's been relatively okay with his new headmate, but I think that's only because she's not backing down no matter what Michael says or does.
Worst of all (at least for me), he's stubborn. Looking back on all the characters I've ever had, I think it's safe to say that Michael wins as the most stubborn muse. For example, (and I'm aware that I sound pretty crazy as I say this) I can't start a storyline without him "agreeing" to it. Why? Because the muse goes quiet on me when that happens - and I can assure you that it has happened before. I can't force him to do something he doesn't want, or that he's not ready for, because things have to be his way, and his way alone. If there's something that I want to write about but it makes him feel too vulnerable or exposed, then he keeps to himself until I come to realize that I won't be able to write about it. He sets his own pace, and most of the time (even if it's frustrating) I've come to see that it's usually for the best. I just never fully admit that he's occasionally right, because there'd be no living with him then.
As much as I want to strangle him, though, I love my muse. Even if he's secretive, and moody, and stubborn, etc., I've come to explore his good side too. Which he does have, even if he tries to bury it most of the time. As a writer, the thing that I love most of him is that he's definitely a challenge. Since he's an original character and there's no real canon that I have to follow (except for what I've already given him by now), I have to write the fics and responses that ultimately make him who he is - if I don't do that right, and if I don't portray it properly, then I don't do him justice as a character and that's something that I never want. Sometimes it's hard because, even if there are a few things that he and I have in common, Michael is so completely...different than me. His temper, the things he says, the way he says them, how he reacts to something... It's all so different sometimes that I double check whatever it is that I'm writing just so I can make sure that that's really how Michael would respond, and not just me adding in my thoughts/feelings. I think both he and I have done a lot of growing up (him as a character, and myself as a writer), and I absolutely love that about him.
There are still a lot of points in Michael's life that I want to explore more, and there are plenty of things that I have yet to write about him, so I'm hoping this roller coaster ride he's having me ride with him keeps going for a long, long while. We do have a sort of love/hate relationship as a writer and a muse, but it makes things interesting, that's for sure. At this point, after writing him for so long, I really can't imagine not writing him anymore and that's perfectly fine by me.