(no subject)
Tonight, I needed to drink more than I've ever needed to before.
Coming from someone branded an alcoholic, that's a pretty serious statement.
It's as if all my problems - work, home, personal life - they all ran into each other at some random intersection and decided to hang out for a bit and get to know each other.
And while I'm happy for their newfound social lives, I've never felt so stressed. In. My. Life.
I mean, I can deal with it. I believe I can. But I need diversions from time to time.
Diversions like alcohol.
So. Yeah. I needed to drink more than ever tonight.
But I couldn't find anyone to drink with so I'm home now.
I feel like God's telling me: I want you to get through all this without resorting to alcohol.
And, honestly, I feel like telling God: I can take the problems, fine. They're a part of life. But without alcohol? Now you're just being harsh.
* * *
At 1:12 AM...
And then Iea called...
And I got to have a few drinks...
And I realized it no longer works...
And I looked for drugs but no one had any...
And here I am. Still.
Coming from someone branded an alcoholic, that's a pretty serious statement.
It's as if all my problems - work, home, personal life - they all ran into each other at some random intersection and decided to hang out for a bit and get to know each other.
And while I'm happy for their newfound social lives, I've never felt so stressed. In. My. Life.
I mean, I can deal with it. I believe I can. But I need diversions from time to time.
Diversions like alcohol.
So. Yeah. I needed to drink more than ever tonight.
But I couldn't find anyone to drink with so I'm home now.
I feel like God's telling me: I want you to get through all this without resorting to alcohol.
And, honestly, I feel like telling God: I can take the problems, fine. They're a part of life. But without alcohol? Now you're just being harsh.
* * *
At 1:12 AM...
And then Iea called...
And I got to have a few drinks...
And I realized it no longer works...
And I looked for drugs but no one had any...
And here I am. Still.