Hard Rock Stadium is cursed.

Sep 14, 2024 00:59


I'm sure if you're a sports fan, you've seen the footage of Miami Dolphins quarterback suffering like his 4th concussion in like 3 years on Thursday night when the Dolphins played the Buffalo Bills in Miami at Hard Rock Stadium. This is what happens when you build your stadium on a former native american burial ground. That being the Tequesta aka the first people to inhabit what we now know as Miami. this shit is like the movie Poltergeist….these mother fuckers probably didn’t move the actual bodies!  (google is free is you don't know what I'm talking about). Anyway, Tua's career is probably done. The Dolphins season is probably done and they're probably looking at another 5-year rebuild plan because franchise quarterbacks don't just happen overnight. The Dolphins backup quarterback, Skylar Thompson is more useless than a battery-less vibrator (at least a vibrator with dead batters can still be used as a dildo). The only thing we are winning with Skylar Thompson is the number 1 pick in the draft that we probably owe to some other team anyway. Oh and it's right after Tua signed a massive contract extension with guaranteed money.

now....since Halloween spooky season is upon us, let's check out some more Hard Rock Stadium "Curse of the Tequesta" lore that proves it is a real thing.



- 2024: Three people were injured when an oven at a concession stand exploded (August), pure chaos at the Copa America final between Colombia & Argentina (July), Tyreek Hill's arrest (Sept), Tua's injury (Sept); Bills fan killed outside Dolphins' stadium, not game related, was shot by someone road raging. (january); Tyreek Hill house fire (January) Messi non-contact inury while playing for Inter Miami (July)

-2023: Tennessee Titans overcame a 14-point deficit in the final three minutes to stun the Dolphins (December)

- 2022: Gaga was 17 songs into her Chromatica Ball show at Hard Rock Stadium when she stopped mid-performance cuz a lightning storm swept into the area. The show never resumed. (sept); A car fire ended up destroying eight vehicles in the parking lot of the Hard Rock Stadium during the Miami Dolphins against the New England (sept)

- 2018: Dolphins fan has to have a portion of his toe amputated when when a heavy piece of marble slab fell off the bar and landed on his foot while waiting for a drink.

-2016: Ten minutes before the draft was set to begin, Laremy Tunsil's Twitter account showed a video of him wearing a gas mask and smoking from a bong. The Dolphins still drafted him.

-2007: rain starts pouring during Prince's halftime performance. Part of the stage wheeled over a cable and severed the cable, and some very heroic guy had to plug in this cable in a pouring rainstorm and probably risked electrocution. Lighting crew guy took his pliers and stripped the insulation off the three cables. And he inserted them into a plug, just raw, and held that for the entire 12-and-a-half-minute duration, in the rain. To keep the lights and all that working.” (I truly believe the only reason he wasn't electrocuted is because it was freaking Prince. The native spirits showed some mercy)

-2006: Dolphins team doctors refused to clear Drew Brees due to his surgically repaired right shoulder; they sign Daunte Culpepper instead. They go 6-10. Brees signs with Saints, they go to the NFC Championship.

-2005-06: Nick Saban, nuff said.

The Miami Hurricanes football team has won 5 National Championships and all of them happened while playing in the Orange Bowl. (1983, 1987, 1989, 1991, 2001). The Hurricanes won 80% of their games since 1983 at the Orange Bowl, but since moving to Hard Rock Stadium in 2008, the Hurricanes have only had one bowl win and have only won 37.5% of their games. 61 of the 65 Power 5 programs have more bowl wins over that span. Prior to that, Miami had a solid 18-13 bowl-game record. (these numbers may have change, there is no date on the article i found these stats)

Since moving to the stadium in 1987, the Miami Dolphins have had zero Super Bowl appearances, haven't won a playoff game in almost 25 years, second only to the Browns for most coaching and most QB turnover. Their last Super Bowl appearance was 4 months before the initial native american remains were unearthed at the site of the current Hard Rock Stadium

Neither the Dolphins nor the Hurricanes have had a big win since moving to Hard Rock Stadium, but multiple heartbreaking losses.

But Amy....Why did the Marlins win two World Series rings while playing there? My theory is that they were not in existence when the stadium was built & one big Curse of the Tequesta troll job. Years later, they moved to Marlins Park after robbing Miamians of billions of dollars so the team could - wait for it - tear down the stadium where the Dolphins and Hurricanes reaped all of their success. Now the Marlins suck on the ground the Hurricanes and Dolphins never should have left, and Miamians will be paying for the ballpark on that land for decades. Checkmate, Tequesta Indians. A terrible baseball team stomps on the grave of the greatest stadium ever built in Miami, and the Dolphins and Hurricanes play on an Indian burial ground.

Taylor Swift will play Hard Rock Stadium October 18-20 2024. I hope she packs a lot of sage and finds a way to honour the Tequesta either on stage or in her dressing room or cleaning cart before the shows. Good luck Tay Tay.

baseball, mlb, miami dolphins, football, miami, nfl, sports

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