Uh Oh Here We Go (Again)
Hmm, course results have started coming in. Just received an email from my tutor with the results of the Electronic Music Production Module of my course. I really am my own worst enemy, I worked sooo hard through the first part of the year, and I've just let it all fall through my fingers at the end. This one isn't disastrous, I've passed, but I know there's worse to come in other modules.
With this module I failed to submit the final one of three coursework assignments, I got 86% and 78% for the first two, highest marks in the class. The first being the 3 tracks I posted on here, and the second being to give a talk on the Suzanne Vega track Blood Makes Noise, not bad marks for someone that considers herself mediocre at best when it comes to music. But failing to submit the last one drags my overall mark down to 59.3%, which still puts me 3rd out of 11 people in the group, coming 3rd in the class when I only submitted 2/3 of the work is pretty damn good, but I'm not interested in beating other people. I know that 59.3% does not represent what I am capable of, 86% and 78% do but all anyone will see now is the 59.3%, if I could have just put in a little effort at the end ... instead I loosened my grip and let it fall from my grasp, again.
I can make excuses about being stressed about the operation and stuff, but it just doesn't wash, I had the time, I have the skills there is no excuse, I should have got that work done. The assignment was to produce a soundscape of a passage from Kurt Vonnegut's Slaughterhouse 5, something which I would normally really enjoy doing, yet I just went blank.
This course was supposed to be about me putting right the mistakes I made 1st time round, yet history is repeating, if I screw this up I will never forgive myself. I wanted to get distinctions for everything, but not submitting work because you think you will get a crap mark is just plain stupid, I could have submitted complete rubbish for this assignment and it would still have pulled my overall mark up high enough for the module.
Extenuating circumstances be damned, I don't care what other shit I have going on in my life, this was supposed to be about proving to myself above anyone else what I can do, and in that I've failed.
With this module I failed to submit the final one of three coursework assignments, I got 86% and 78% for the first two, highest marks in the class. The first being the 3 tracks I posted on here, and the second being to give a talk on the Suzanne Vega track Blood Makes Noise, not bad marks for someone that considers herself mediocre at best when it comes to music. But failing to submit the last one drags my overall mark down to 59.3%, which still puts me 3rd out of 11 people in the group, coming 3rd in the class when I only submitted 2/3 of the work is pretty damn good, but I'm not interested in beating other people. I know that 59.3% does not represent what I am capable of, 86% and 78% do but all anyone will see now is the 59.3%, if I could have just put in a little effort at the end ... instead I loosened my grip and let it fall from my grasp, again.
I can make excuses about being stressed about the operation and stuff, but it just doesn't wash, I had the time, I have the skills there is no excuse, I should have got that work done. The assignment was to produce a soundscape of a passage from Kurt Vonnegut's Slaughterhouse 5, something which I would normally really enjoy doing, yet I just went blank.
This course was supposed to be about me putting right the mistakes I made 1st time round, yet history is repeating, if I screw this up I will never forgive myself. I wanted to get distinctions for everything, but not submitting work because you think you will get a crap mark is just plain stupid, I could have submitted complete rubbish for this assignment and it would still have pulled my overall mark up high enough for the module.
Extenuating circumstances be damned, I don't care what other shit I have going on in my life, this was supposed to be about proving to myself above anyone else what I can do, and in that I've failed.