You really do put the 'W' in anchorman, Benedick
I have done nothing in my holidays yet except read and internet and do a little frantic study for my Speech theory exam on Saturday (fun times, fun times). So have a list:
1. Shakespea-re-told is the best thing of all time ALL TIME: I have seen both Much Ado About Nothing and The Taming of the Shrew. I loved Much Ado's smoopy romance and hilarious one liners and incredibly fantastic Beatrice. I appreciated that Hero told Claude to piss off at the end. I loved that it was re-imagined in a broadcasting studio with Beatrice and Benedick as the co-anchors. And Benedick read her Sonnet 116, which is my second favourite after Sonnet 130. And how Beatrice always gets the last word. And there's a dress-up party and Beatrice comes as Queen Elizabeth and they dance together and she compares the misty lovey-dovey look in Hero and Claude's eyes to conjunctivitis.
"Love's just one of those things a man grows into, like jazz and olives. I'm not going to let a few sarcastic remarks change the way I feel. After all, the world must be peopled. When I said I'd die a bachelor I just didn't realize I'd live this long."
The Taming of the Shrew was spectacular because Shirley Henderson and Rufus Sewell are so spectacular. He turned up drunk and in drag at their wedding, he threw her clothes in the pool, he flattened all their tires, he harrassed her in elevators... She just made me laugh with her hilarious fits of rage and her insults and "SWIVEL". I also loved how David Mitchell was her much put-upon secretary and Twiggy was her mother.
Petruchio: How brightly shines the moon!
Kate: [a cockerel sounds in the background] That's the sun, you pillock.
Petruchio: Oh.
Petruchio: Is it?
Petruchio: Well.
Petruchio: You shouldn't contradict me.
Kate: You shouldn't talk bollocks.
2. Hamlet: Kirsten is performing Hamlet for me tonight. Yes, I know, right. She only has vague knowledge of the play so may end up performing Hamlet's facebook feed instead. I am okay with this, but am looking forward to her performing the fight scenes by herself. Also, Liz and I are having Hamlet Day tomorrow and it is going to be full of Hamlet-y goodness, like Rosencrantz and Guildenstern are Dead.
3. Ngaio Drinks: I always say Ngaio Drinks and then my Dad asks if so-and-so is coming and I say no and he says well, it can't be Ngaio Drinks then. So, I shall rephrase. My five Ngaio girls are coming over to get boozed and eat sausage rolls tonight. It is going to be fabulous.
4. I keep getting Raymond Chandler and Raymond Carver confused in my head. To me they are the same person. They write very short American crime stories in a minimalist style.
5. I have been researching Intermediates for my novel. This basically requires me to go through all my junk from Intermediate and laugh and laugh. Hannah and I are going to mummify apples in the name of research. It is pretty damn hard to write a conversation with a character who cannot speak (Patrick the Zombie). Hannah also questioned how she became a scientist after our extraordinarily awful science fair project. "My dad teaches maths, your Mum's a meteorologist, your father studied electrical engineering. How did we manage to come up with such a lame project?"
6. Sonnet 130 by Shakespeare.
My mistress’ eyes are nothing like the sun;
Coral is far more red than her lips’ red;
If snow be white, why then her breasts are dun;
If hairs be wires, black wires grow on her head.
I have seen roses damask’d, red and white,
But no such roses see I in her cheeks,
And in some perfumes is there more delight
Than in the breath that from my mistress reeks.
I love to hear her speak, yet well I know
That music hath a far more pleasing sound.
I grant I never saw a goddess go;
My mistress, when she walks, treads on the ground.
And yet, by heaven, I think my love as rare
As any she belied with false compare.
7. You should know that this is my favourite sonnet of all time, possibly even my favourite poem, and it makes me cry (with laughter mostly). I know it by heart. I would cry buckets if a man read it to me. Even though it's slightly insulting, but whatever.
8. I read a book called Percy Jackson and The Lightning Thief. It made me really angry because Rick Riordan got in first and stole the best children's book idea of all time. Basically, the premise is that the Greek Gods are alive and well and living in New York City (actually, Olympus is on the 600th floor of the Empire State Building) and still having affairs with mortals. Percy (otherwise known as Perseus) is the product of such an affair between his mother and Poseidon. It is pretty much the most awesome premise in the world. I am spectacularly jealous. I bought it for V for her birthday.
1. Shakespea-re-told is the best thing of all time ALL TIME: I have seen both Much Ado About Nothing and The Taming of the Shrew. I loved Much Ado's smoopy romance and hilarious one liners and incredibly fantastic Beatrice. I appreciated that Hero told Claude to piss off at the end. I loved that it was re-imagined in a broadcasting studio with Beatrice and Benedick as the co-anchors. And Benedick read her Sonnet 116, which is my second favourite after Sonnet 130. And how Beatrice always gets the last word. And there's a dress-up party and Beatrice comes as Queen Elizabeth and they dance together and she compares the misty lovey-dovey look in Hero and Claude's eyes to conjunctivitis.
"Love's just one of those things a man grows into, like jazz and olives. I'm not going to let a few sarcastic remarks change the way I feel. After all, the world must be peopled. When I said I'd die a bachelor I just didn't realize I'd live this long."
The Taming of the Shrew was spectacular because Shirley Henderson and Rufus Sewell are so spectacular. He turned up drunk and in drag at their wedding, he threw her clothes in the pool, he flattened all their tires, he harrassed her in elevators... She just made me laugh with her hilarious fits of rage and her insults and "SWIVEL". I also loved how David Mitchell was her much put-upon secretary and Twiggy was her mother.
Petruchio: How brightly shines the moon!
Kate: [a cockerel sounds in the background] That's the sun, you pillock.
Petruchio: Oh.
Petruchio: Is it?
Petruchio: Well.
Petruchio: You shouldn't contradict me.
Kate: You shouldn't talk bollocks.
2. Hamlet: Kirsten is performing Hamlet for me tonight. Yes, I know, right. She only has vague knowledge of the play so may end up performing Hamlet's facebook feed instead. I am okay with this, but am looking forward to her performing the fight scenes by herself. Also, Liz and I are having Hamlet Day tomorrow and it is going to be full of Hamlet-y goodness, like Rosencrantz and Guildenstern are Dead.
3. Ngaio Drinks: I always say Ngaio Drinks and then my Dad asks if so-and-so is coming and I say no and he says well, it can't be Ngaio Drinks then. So, I shall rephrase. My five Ngaio girls are coming over to get boozed and eat sausage rolls tonight. It is going to be fabulous.
4. I keep getting Raymond Chandler and Raymond Carver confused in my head. To me they are the same person. They write very short American crime stories in a minimalist style.
5. I have been researching Intermediates for my novel. This basically requires me to go through all my junk from Intermediate and laugh and laugh. Hannah and I are going to mummify apples in the name of research. It is pretty damn hard to write a conversation with a character who cannot speak (Patrick the Zombie). Hannah also questioned how she became a scientist after our extraordinarily awful science fair project. "My dad teaches maths, your Mum's a meteorologist, your father studied electrical engineering. How did we manage to come up with such a lame project?"
6. Sonnet 130 by Shakespeare.
My mistress’ eyes are nothing like the sun;
Coral is far more red than her lips’ red;
If snow be white, why then her breasts are dun;
If hairs be wires, black wires grow on her head.
I have seen roses damask’d, red and white,
But no such roses see I in her cheeks,
And in some perfumes is there more delight
Than in the breath that from my mistress reeks.
I love to hear her speak, yet well I know
That music hath a far more pleasing sound.
I grant I never saw a goddess go;
My mistress, when she walks, treads on the ground.
And yet, by heaven, I think my love as rare
As any she belied with false compare.
7. You should know that this is my favourite sonnet of all time, possibly even my favourite poem, and it makes me cry (with laughter mostly). I know it by heart. I would cry buckets if a man read it to me. Even though it's slightly insulting, but whatever.
8. I read a book called Percy Jackson and The Lightning Thief. It made me really angry because Rick Riordan got in first and stole the best children's book idea of all time. Basically, the premise is that the Greek Gods are alive and well and living in New York City (actually, Olympus is on the 600th floor of the Empire State Building) and still having affairs with mortals. Percy (otherwise known as Perseus) is the product of such an affair between his mother and Poseidon. It is pretty much the most awesome premise in the world. I am spectacularly jealous. I bought it for V for her birthday.