Luahan Hati
Too many work means brain overdrive. Too many work means too many deadlines. Too many work means lecturers breathing down your neck forcing you to finish their assigned works; meaning sacrificing your rest hours for a complete assignment.
I've said before that I was almost at the point of breaking down. Now, I can actually see that door of escapism. I could feel it calling me to let this all go.
I had never imagined that there would be this much pressure in this line of work/study. Stress from lecturers and peer-pressure are pulling me down.
People who doesn't know me, judged me. People who doesn't understand me will say I am too serious and would be upset by my sudden outbursts. What they don't know is that the face that I put on everyday is the MASK. The mask of pretension or hypocrisy or whatever you wish to call it. It is the one thing that prevents the real me from misery (though I don't think it's working) No matter what others said, I would rather keep to myself and be all alone rather than having to face people with the pretense that I enjoy their company, that I welcome their opinions, that I forgive their mistakes or blames or accusations. I am a person who holds a grudge for a very long time. I'm afraid that if it is kept inside long enough, it will burst out and hurt those who I love.
So, now here I am, forcing smiles and laughter, to face the crowd of whom I see as the real hypocrites, or in other words, the real world.
I've said before that I was almost at the point of breaking down. Now, I can actually see that door of escapism. I could feel it calling me to let this all go.
I had never imagined that there would be this much pressure in this line of work/study. Stress from lecturers and peer-pressure are pulling me down.
People who doesn't know me, judged me. People who doesn't understand me will say I am too serious and would be upset by my sudden outbursts. What they don't know is that the face that I put on everyday is the MASK. The mask of pretension or hypocrisy or whatever you wish to call it. It is the one thing that prevents the real me from misery (though I don't think it's working) No matter what others said, I would rather keep to myself and be all alone rather than having to face people with the pretense that I enjoy their company, that I welcome their opinions, that I forgive their mistakes or blames or accusations. I am a person who holds a grudge for a very long time. I'm afraid that if it is kept inside long enough, it will burst out and hurt those who I love.
So, now here I am, forcing smiles and laughter, to face the crowd of whom I see as the real hypocrites, or in other words, the real world.