orange juice from the carton
there are less people in my house and at the office for the rest of the week than there normally are. it's made me realize how sometimes absence can fill a space more noticeably than idle presence can. it's funny to hear silence/the absence of sound.
it's interesting...the difference between being alone and being lonely. i wonder about people who don't like to hang out with themselves. i wonder what it feels like to be in their skin. what goes through their heads when they're washing their hair in the shower or traveling to where they spend their workday?
i suppose i also wonder about being alone in general. i wonder who talks to themselves out loud when they are alone. i wonder who dances in their kitchen to the radio, drinks orange juice from the carton, sleeps naked, is afraid of the dark, or watches reality tv shows that their friends scoff at. do some people only dance alone? do some people only sing when they are with other people? who are the people in my life who can only cry when someone else is there beside them? in some ways i think those are the most valuable sorts of things to know about another person. those private details (that can seem so inane)...those little things you miss when a dearly loved one leaves.
i'd like to believe that, for the most part, i'm always myself. whatever that really means. sometimes i feel like i'm not sharing all of myself and in turn am being less than honest about who i am, and i don't like that. i'm often left feeling like i know other people better than they know me. but maybe that's presumptuous. maybe i just feel like i haven't truly shared myself. so that's me. but i wonder about people who take on different roles and personas with different people in their lives to the point that they no longer really feel like themselves. i wonder if you do that enough, if you sort of forget who you are and who you want to be. i wonder what you do when you are alone.
it's interesting...the difference between being alone and being lonely. i wonder about people who don't like to hang out with themselves. i wonder what it feels like to be in their skin. what goes through their heads when they're washing their hair in the shower or traveling to where they spend their workday?
i suppose i also wonder about being alone in general. i wonder who talks to themselves out loud when they are alone. i wonder who dances in their kitchen to the radio, drinks orange juice from the carton, sleeps naked, is afraid of the dark, or watches reality tv shows that their friends scoff at. do some people only dance alone? do some people only sing when they are with other people? who are the people in my life who can only cry when someone else is there beside them? in some ways i think those are the most valuable sorts of things to know about another person. those private details (that can seem so inane)...those little things you miss when a dearly loved one leaves.
i'd like to believe that, for the most part, i'm always myself. whatever that really means. sometimes i feel like i'm not sharing all of myself and in turn am being less than honest about who i am, and i don't like that. i'm often left feeling like i know other people better than they know me. but maybe that's presumptuous. maybe i just feel like i haven't truly shared myself. so that's me. but i wonder about people who take on different roles and personas with different people in their lives to the point that they no longer really feel like themselves. i wonder if you do that enough, if you sort of forget who you are and who you want to be. i wonder what you do when you are alone.