whats going on!
Wow, what have I been up to? Nothing much, well actually a lot. Everything is kinda the same but with a different twist. OMG i hate my fucking job. That place pisses me off so much I dont know how I make it through everyday. The only thing I'm looking forward to is the six month bonus which will be coming very soon. It will be for all of the employees who have opened the store with my boss( about 7 or us). Knowing that helps me get through the day. Ive been searching for another job but maybe I'm not looking in the right places or maybe there is something wrong with my resume. I don't know what it is but I need to find another job so I can be really happy again. But every now and then I fall from some kind of stress in my life but my greatest glory is not in never falling, but in rising every time I fall!
Something kinda dramatic happened last week when i was coming home from work. I kinda witnessed a shooting not far from my house and for the rest of the day I was really traumatized. I think that my neighborhood is such a bad place to live sometimes and i wanna move, but when i think about it there are a lot more dangerous neighborhoods and i was just at the wrong place at the wrong time. I thought at first that by moving i would be safer, but thats not necessarily the case always. Security is mostly a superstition. It does not exist in nature, nor do the children of men as a whole experience it. Avoiding danger is no safer in the long run than outright exposure. Life is either a daring adventure, or nothing.
Outside from my job and neighborhood being crap recently, I have been really......happy. Happiness is not having what you want ,but wanting what you have. It doesn't matter how long we may have been stuck in a sense of our limitations. If we go into a darkened room and turn on the light, it doesn't matter if the room has been dark for a day, a week, or ten thousand years - we turn on the light and it is illuminated. Once we control our capacity for happiness, the light has been turned on. I can thank jen for part of this, she's one of the best new things to come into my life. Over the last year or so I've been involved with a lot of females that ended up being.......birds, but she's different. I guess i was looking in the wrong places for the wrong things which is why I had the wrong girls. But this one is different......i mean or course she's different because shes the new lady in my life but she's different...in a "different" way. She has some of the greatest most unbelievable qualities I can think of in the body of only one person. They say "good things never last", but i hope they're wrong about this because i wouldn't mind her sticking around for awhile. I'm not sure if I know how but eventually i want to return all of the happiness that she has given me if i haven't already!
Something kinda dramatic happened last week when i was coming home from work. I kinda witnessed a shooting not far from my house and for the rest of the day I was really traumatized. I think that my neighborhood is such a bad place to live sometimes and i wanna move, but when i think about it there are a lot more dangerous neighborhoods and i was just at the wrong place at the wrong time. I thought at first that by moving i would be safer, but thats not necessarily the case always. Security is mostly a superstition. It does not exist in nature, nor do the children of men as a whole experience it. Avoiding danger is no safer in the long run than outright exposure. Life is either a daring adventure, or nothing.
Outside from my job and neighborhood being crap recently, I have been really......happy. Happiness is not having what you want ,but wanting what you have. It doesn't matter how long we may have been stuck in a sense of our limitations. If we go into a darkened room and turn on the light, it doesn't matter if the room has been dark for a day, a week, or ten thousand years - we turn on the light and it is illuminated. Once we control our capacity for happiness, the light has been turned on. I can thank jen for part of this, she's one of the best new things to come into my life. Over the last year or so I've been involved with a lot of females that ended up being.......birds, but she's different. I guess i was looking in the wrong places for the wrong things which is why I had the wrong girls. But this one is different......i mean or course she's different because shes the new lady in my life but she's different...in a "different" way. She has some of the greatest most unbelievable qualities I can think of in the body of only one person. They say "good things never last", but i hope they're wrong about this because i wouldn't mind her sticking around for awhile. I'm not sure if I know how but eventually i want to return all of the happiness that she has given me if i haven't already!