(no subject)
Never as alone as
Misunderstood
Isolated.
Disconnected.
Alone.
Unplugged.
Fat.
Dying just to feel alive.
Finally free of a lifelong burden.
Ever since I can remember
Held beneath the water
Barely breathing.
Hardly moving.
Never fighting.
Dropping to the bottom.
Sinking into frozen sand.
I keep shaking.
Everyone stares.
Afraid I am who I used to be.
Not wanting to touch my skin.
Contagious weight.
Binding me to the inevitable.
Disappointed again.
They, You, Me, We.
Heads that nod, thoughts that pause.
Who am I?
Strange anomaly.
Big and slow like fingertips on a globe.
Little is only the differences.
Always soft and pink and warm.
Not for long.
Grey, unforgiving cement.
Hard skin does not give to touch.
A gift I gave up.
Easier to do than many things.
And so now, no freedom will come.
No life will go untouched.
Reality begins to rot.
The amazon girth of my being spreads.
Never stopping.
I can grip the earth in my hand now.
Heartbeats feel tiny and electric.
No pulse goes unsought.
Eliminating myself, necessary surgery.
Changing.
A butterfly to be transformed.
But won't survive.
And no one seems to understand.
Misunderstood
Isolated.
Disconnected.
Alone.
Unplugged.
Fat.
Dying just to feel alive.
Finally free of a lifelong burden.
Ever since I can remember
Held beneath the water
Barely breathing.
Hardly moving.
Never fighting.
Dropping to the bottom.
Sinking into frozen sand.
I keep shaking.
Everyone stares.
Afraid I am who I used to be.
Not wanting to touch my skin.
Contagious weight.
Binding me to the inevitable.
Disappointed again.
They, You, Me, We.
Heads that nod, thoughts that pause.
Who am I?
Strange anomaly.
Big and slow like fingertips on a globe.
Little is only the differences.
Always soft and pink and warm.
Not for long.
Grey, unforgiving cement.
Hard skin does not give to touch.
A gift I gave up.
Easier to do than many things.
And so now, no freedom will come.
No life will go untouched.
Reality begins to rot.
The amazon girth of my being spreads.
Never stopping.
I can grip the earth in my hand now.
Heartbeats feel tiny and electric.
No pulse goes unsought.
Eliminating myself, necessary surgery.
Changing.
A butterfly to be transformed.
But won't survive.
And no one seems to understand.