(no subject)
My surgery is scheduled. I'm racing around in between freaked out and excited and my heart feels torn over what its really going to decide to let me feel. If that makes any sense.
I have started to make lists. What I want to do when able, where I want to go when able, who I want to see, what my new goals will be, what I will buy, how hard I will work to make extra money to sock away into savings for when maintenance will be required.
It's so weird.. to think of me as different. I have spent nearly 30 years being this way, what will life be like on the other side? Will my attitude change? Will I be snobbish like all the other girls that I long to look like? What fears of mine are rational and which aren't? How will I know the difference? When will I know?
Everything is scary and although I have less than 2 months to get used to the idea, there is a part of me that is ready to be brave and ready to take ahold of this life that I have had to waste. Partially voluntary, but also, not.
Wish me luck - and when I get to the other side, I hope as the mass dwindles, my personality remains intact.
You're the queen of the superficial, how long before you tell the truth
I have started to make lists. What I want to do when able, where I want to go when able, who I want to see, what my new goals will be, what I will buy, how hard I will work to make extra money to sock away into savings for when maintenance will be required.
It's so weird.. to think of me as different. I have spent nearly 30 years being this way, what will life be like on the other side? Will my attitude change? Will I be snobbish like all the other girls that I long to look like? What fears of mine are rational and which aren't? How will I know the difference? When will I know?
Everything is scary and although I have less than 2 months to get used to the idea, there is a part of me that is ready to be brave and ready to take ahold of this life that I have had to waste. Partially voluntary, but also, not.
Wish me luck - and when I get to the other side, I hope as the mass dwindles, my personality remains intact.
You're the queen of the superficial, how long before you tell the truth