Is this the end or only the beginning?
The vet school made their final decision about who will and who will not be accepted to vet school last night. They're sending out letters the first week in March.
I'm terrified.
I know I shouldn't be cocky, but I've never thought I wouldn't get in. I just don't know how time has passed so quickly since October. Like most of my other friends waiting for their letters we just don't feel ready. I'm not ready to know who gets to go and who gets left behind.
I want vet school to be a new beginning so badly, but I've loved undergrad so much even through the rough times, it's going to be hard to leave. Thus the title of this entry. I don't want what I have now to change. I couldn't ask for better friends, and I can't imagine a world where we won't all be together like we all are now. But in a week and a half I *will* have to reconcile myself to such a world. We're not all going to get in, no matter how hardly I wish it. And then there's all my friends going into other fields, graduating and moving on after this semester. There's friends getting married, friends hopefully soon getting engaged, and I am so happy for all of them. Hell, I'm happy just being me right now which doesn't come around often enough.
Yes, change is hard, not like it's a new concept. This next week or two is going to be very difficult for me. I'm running on hyper-emotional state with all this vet school stuff, and it's all my friends and I are capable of speaking of now. And while I've never been more excited about anything like I'm excited to find out if I got in, I feel sick thinking about it. It's finally time to find out if I'm good enough to be a doctor. We've all work so hard... too hard most of the time, for this.
Honestly, I'm not composed enough to continue writing semi-coherently. I have all these incredibly strong emotions running through me and I can't seem to express any of them. Sometimes it hurts to feel so much at one time.
I'm terrified.
I know I shouldn't be cocky, but I've never thought I wouldn't get in. I just don't know how time has passed so quickly since October. Like most of my other friends waiting for their letters we just don't feel ready. I'm not ready to know who gets to go and who gets left behind.
I want vet school to be a new beginning so badly, but I've loved undergrad so much even through the rough times, it's going to be hard to leave. Thus the title of this entry. I don't want what I have now to change. I couldn't ask for better friends, and I can't imagine a world where we won't all be together like we all are now. But in a week and a half I *will* have to reconcile myself to such a world. We're not all going to get in, no matter how hardly I wish it. And then there's all my friends going into other fields, graduating and moving on after this semester. There's friends getting married, friends hopefully soon getting engaged, and I am so happy for all of them. Hell, I'm happy just being me right now which doesn't come around often enough.
Yes, change is hard, not like it's a new concept. This next week or two is going to be very difficult for me. I'm running on hyper-emotional state with all this vet school stuff, and it's all my friends and I are capable of speaking of now. And while I've never been more excited about anything like I'm excited to find out if I got in, I feel sick thinking about it. It's finally time to find out if I'm good enough to be a doctor. We've all work so hard... too hard most of the time, for this.
Honestly, I'm not composed enough to continue writing semi-coherently. I have all these incredibly strong emotions running through me and I can't seem to express any of them. Sometimes it hurts to feel so much at one time.