(no subject)
i just played the entire debussy quartet with my group. as usual i'm experiencing a comedown, where all my slowly acquired adrenaline departs in a rush of exhaustion and self-debasement. lots of people came, and it went pretty well, but it wasn't the most epic thing to happen at NEC this month (which i was kinda secretly hoping for) and the musicians whose esteem i most value didn't come. it was a busy night, and another violinist (amazing, unbelievable, extraordinary) was having a recital so i'm sure they were all there. it's just disappointing. i wanted to prove myself, cause my group and i worked so fucking hard, and nobody was at the recital who doesn't already think i'm good or doesn't care.
this is just me being negative. it really went well. but im engaging in my feelings in a non-judgmental environment, cause even joe thinks im being silly.
this is just me being negative. it really went well. but im engaging in my feelings in a non-judgmental environment, cause even joe thinks im being silly.