i think it's time for another spa day.
geez, i love music.
i'm not happy. i feel like being spontaneous. i really want to just leave and do things on my own accord. less responsibility would really help my cause. education majors aren't really allowed to be irresponsible while in college, especially broke ones. all my time is dedicated to school, work, and homework. when i fit other things in i get behind and someone hassles me. even if i had the time to be rambunctious and do something wild and crazy, i certainly don't have the energy. i'm just overwhelmed and drained.
when i start to feel like i'm spread too thin, or someone has too high expectations of me, i stop doing everything. not just one thing or part of something, i will flat out suck at getting anything done.
really, i'm trying hard to do things right this semester. school is important to me, it always has been. and i know i'll fuck myself if i can't get this done right the first time.
sometimes i can't sleep at night because i keep thinking about things i need to do. i just lay there and my heart beats really fast. i can't even hang out without feeling anxious about what horrible amounts of work i'll need to do the next week.
one of my teachers won't give me clear expectations for my lesson plans or her observations of my teaching. i didn't turn in half of one of our assignments. one assignment i turned in late and she wouldn't count it. plus, i accidentally set my alarm for pm on my first field experience day.
i need a b in that class to graduate. did i mention this teacher hates me? and intimidates me? she left about 5 horribly threatening sounding messages on my machine and called about 10 times when she found out i hadn't been at my first day of class. she makes me want to drop out, curl up in a ball, and never leave my room.
is it really THAT abnormal for a college student to miss class? i can't imagine there's never been a student who didn't do everything perfect and graduated.
the only reason i'm in all these classes is because the standards changes in the semester i was off. can my teacher really not see that? i'm actually only enrolled in 4 credit hours from her instead of 6.
basically, i'm completely frustrated and unhappy. i'm in a good mood and i'm not mad at any one. i just don't know what to do with myself.
lindsey must be my hetero-life-partner. she always makes me feel better.
-=-=-
i hadn't written in so long because william moved in for about a month. surprisingly, we got along really well. i didn't have time to piss alone, nonetheless not a bad time.
it didn't exactly encourage going to class and apparently we make each other super lazy, but we did get along and i feel like i know him a little better. he calls me honey.
i think my boobs are getting bigger! let's all cross our fingers for an official move up to a c cup.
i meant to go through and make everything friend's only. i kind of like the idea of having an idea who gets to read up. i changed the first entry and prompted stopped wasting my time. i'll get to it at a later date.
i want to have a slumber party where we play mash, watch old movies, bake goods, play board games, and maybe drink a little.
i'm not happy. i feel like being spontaneous. i really want to just leave and do things on my own accord. less responsibility would really help my cause. education majors aren't really allowed to be irresponsible while in college, especially broke ones. all my time is dedicated to school, work, and homework. when i fit other things in i get behind and someone hassles me. even if i had the time to be rambunctious and do something wild and crazy, i certainly don't have the energy. i'm just overwhelmed and drained.
when i start to feel like i'm spread too thin, or someone has too high expectations of me, i stop doing everything. not just one thing or part of something, i will flat out suck at getting anything done.
really, i'm trying hard to do things right this semester. school is important to me, it always has been. and i know i'll fuck myself if i can't get this done right the first time.
sometimes i can't sleep at night because i keep thinking about things i need to do. i just lay there and my heart beats really fast. i can't even hang out without feeling anxious about what horrible amounts of work i'll need to do the next week.
one of my teachers won't give me clear expectations for my lesson plans or her observations of my teaching. i didn't turn in half of one of our assignments. one assignment i turned in late and she wouldn't count it. plus, i accidentally set my alarm for pm on my first field experience day.
i need a b in that class to graduate. did i mention this teacher hates me? and intimidates me? she left about 5 horribly threatening sounding messages on my machine and called about 10 times when she found out i hadn't been at my first day of class. she makes me want to drop out, curl up in a ball, and never leave my room.
is it really THAT abnormal for a college student to miss class? i can't imagine there's never been a student who didn't do everything perfect and graduated.
the only reason i'm in all these classes is because the standards changes in the semester i was off. can my teacher really not see that? i'm actually only enrolled in 4 credit hours from her instead of 6.
basically, i'm completely frustrated and unhappy. i'm in a good mood and i'm not mad at any one. i just don't know what to do with myself.
lindsey must be my hetero-life-partner. she always makes me feel better.
-=-=-
i hadn't written in so long because william moved in for about a month. surprisingly, we got along really well. i didn't have time to piss alone, nonetheless not a bad time.
it didn't exactly encourage going to class and apparently we make each other super lazy, but we did get along and i feel like i know him a little better. he calls me honey.
i think my boobs are getting bigger! let's all cross our fingers for an official move up to a c cup.
i meant to go through and make everything friend's only. i kind of like the idea of having an idea who gets to read up. i changed the first entry and prompted stopped wasting my time. i'll get to it at a later date.
i want to have a slumber party where we play mash, watch old movies, bake goods, play board games, and maybe drink a little.