Keeping it KEWL
I’ve always been a level-headed person that it puzzles me how some people could be such hot heads. Taking cue on what my CI once said, you have to make it a point to take one step back and analyze the situation - so true. There are just times when you’re so absorbed in one chapter of the story and you forget that you’re reading a novel. Personally, I take time to weigh the options, the pros, the cons - the works. Then, I decide. Did you ever get that feeling wherein you know better than to argue? Well, I have, a LOT. I just figured some things are just too trivial to waste precious time bickering for. Whatever happened to “Love your fellowmen.”? Don’t get me wrong, I’m not a being push over and I hate being bossed around. I just do what I think makes sense. I mean, come on. Is it really worth arguing for a full fifteen minutes who should get the phone when you could do it in fifteen seconds? D’you really think it’s better to complain endlessly about the plate your roommate left on the sink when she was too busy than just washing it yourself and get it over with? I know you all know the feeling. The line: “Sige na lang gud.” has become a cliché. Life’s a compromise. The adaptation model of Sister Callista Roy says it all. Be assertive but never aggressive. And when you’re proved wrong, accept it. A sincere apology would outdo the most expensive gift which is given just to compensate for one’s wrongdoings - mostly out of conscience, but not remorse.
Anger is one of the seven deadly sins -wrath, that is. Also, it is an acceptable feeling. The ability to feel anger is innate to all humans - thus, inevitable. I, for one, acknowledge anger. It is there - as invisible as the air can be. But the way it makes your face hot, your temples throb as every vein in your body pulsates rapidly, your blood pressure rise, your temperature near boiling point along with that feeling that you could eat a person whole then and there makes you wonder how the person sitting next to you is still alive . Anger is not something you should deal with aggressively. You must tread real carefully when you are angry for it is in these times that people say the worst things they regret in their lives and wished they had just swallowed their prides and have stufu. If you can’t weigh your words carefully, then you better say nothing at all.
What helps? Have a resource person - a trusted friend at that - whom you could confide all your woes to. That person can talk sense into you and give you another perspective of the story, different from your own. These talks could be really enlightening that there are times, at the end of the conversation, I feel better already. Moreover, it gives me the opportunity to carefully examine every aspect of the situation which I overlooked as I was filled with emotion beforehand.
Saying something as simple as “Please and Thank You” could do great deals especially to those who need a little recognition and definitely deserve some appreciation. Being polite can’t hurt you. Some just think that being a jerk is cool. Well, I hate to break it to you but it’s not. It’s actually the opposite of it. People should look up to you not because of fear, but because of your greatness. Respect is won, not compelled. Think of the golden rule and you’ll start thinking of what others might feel when you do as much as glare at them. Remember, a favor is different from an order. And while you’re at it, don’t forget to add a little sprinkle of courtesy. Now, that’s a perfect recipe for a whole new happy and hate-free you. I quote Edward Cullen with my own rendition of his retort as Aro asked him how he could manage not to kill Bella: “It’s not without difficulty.” - but it can be done. And yes, just like Edward, it may be through clenched teeth, but self-control, although you might not realize it now, could be rewarding sooner or later. So the next time you feel like you want to rip of another person’s eyeballs out of its sockets, just take a deep breath, and KEEP IT COOL. =]