D&D quotes from this campaign
Most of these will make very little sense to anyone other than those involved. On the other hand, it gives me the giggles to read them. I make no claims as to the chronology of the quotes, except for the last four. They're from this evening.
--
The cast:
Pat - DM
Me - Tahlatria (Rogue)
Dana - Sel'aria (Sorceress)
Scott - Zanyen (Warblade)
Angie - Calliope (Cleric)
Protsko - Jareth (Warmage)
"The Bleeting Ram. Not Bleeding, but Bleeting."
"The Bleeding one serves exclusively emos."
- Pat and Scott
"Go back to sleep, ya foockin' ninneh."
- Margo (NPC) to Sel'aria
"Spinach is a lot like anal sex; you're forced to have it a lot as a kid, but when you're an adult, you enjoy it!"
- Pat
"We're kidnapping the cleric to fight evil!"
- Scott
"...distinct lack of crumbs."
- Me
"The balm of Pelor upon theeeeeee! *clankclankclankclank*"
"That's the best glomp ever!"
- Calliope and Scott
"I don't think anyone wants to sit on Bruce's lap."
"Protsko raises his hand."
- Valence (NPC) and Scott
"...ya fucking wormy bastard."
- Pat to Jareth
"Hey. Hey Scott? Did I tase the gerbil yet?"
- Pat
"I feel like you're trying to drive at something, Pat."
"I am! (Follow the cart, dammit.)"
- Scott and Pat
"I had to check Bruce at the door. You have no idea how hard it is to find a tuxedo to fit a trollkin, do you?"
- Valence (NPC)
"Hey Jareth, I couldn't hear you over the sound of me getting lit on fire!"
"Sorry Zanyen, I couldn't hear you over the sound of how awesome I am!"
- Zanyen and Jareth
"You can't crit the squishy, 'cause then the squishy dies, which creates plotholes, so you gotta bring the squishy back as a dragon to fill the plot holes, 'cause plotholes suck."
- Scott
"Don't you think it's a bit garish?"
"..."
"Right. What am I talking about?"
- Sel'aria and Tahlatria
"Wouldn't an asshat be a pair of pants?"
- Protsko
"Oh my god, it's a vampire gorilla!"
- Scott
"Discount Baby Blowout Sale! All children must go!"
- Pat
"Life is about living while you can until you die."
- Me
"I filled his pants with pudding."
- Angie
"Eh, I'll just let the worms heal it."
"You don't get it! He ripped off your dick and put it in your mouth after he cut out your tongue. If you let the worms heal it, you'll have a dicktongue!"
- Protsko and Me
"Oh sure, you bitch that the worms won't heal your cavities, but you won't say a thing when they reattach your dick."
- Scott to Protsko/Jareth
"Jareth: He has worms!"
- Everyone
"Crisis Core Cloud is just an adorable little piece of jailbait."
"...please, don't ever say that again."
"What, that Cloud's jailbait? He is! Come on, I'm sitting here wearing my Yaoi shirt, and you expect me to say anything else?!"
- Me and Scott
"Welcome to Jareth's Sexy Disc of Floating Ladies!"
- in reference to the Tenser's Floating Disc that has the stablized Cleric (at -7 hp) and the stablized Rogue (at -9 hp) lying unconscious on it.
"Shut up, I'm trying to smell something!"
- Pat
--
Also? My character should have died this evening - she was knocked down to -29 hp, when it only takes -10 to kill a character. Luckily, Pat has instituted this rule where, if your character would die, you can instead opt for them to lose a limb. Tahlatria lost her right arm. Fortunately, she's left-handed.
So! I'm gonna eventually get a mech arm! =D
--
The cast:
Pat - DM
Me - Tahlatria (Rogue)
Dana - Sel'aria (Sorceress)
Scott - Zanyen (Warblade)
Angie - Calliope (Cleric)
Protsko - Jareth (Warmage)
"The Bleeting Ram. Not Bleeding, but Bleeting."
"The Bleeding one serves exclusively emos."
- Pat and Scott
"Go back to sleep, ya foockin' ninneh."
- Margo (NPC) to Sel'aria
"Spinach is a lot like anal sex; you're forced to have it a lot as a kid, but when you're an adult, you enjoy it!"
- Pat
"We're kidnapping the cleric to fight evil!"
- Scott
"...distinct lack of crumbs."
- Me
"The balm of Pelor upon theeeeeee! *clankclankclankclank*"
"That's the best glomp ever!"
- Calliope and Scott
"I don't think anyone wants to sit on Bruce's lap."
"Protsko raises his hand."
- Valence (NPC) and Scott
"...ya fucking wormy bastard."
- Pat to Jareth
"Hey. Hey Scott? Did I tase the gerbil yet?"
- Pat
"I feel like you're trying to drive at something, Pat."
"I am! (Follow the cart, dammit.)"
- Scott and Pat
"I had to check Bruce at the door. You have no idea how hard it is to find a tuxedo to fit a trollkin, do you?"
- Valence (NPC)
"Hey Jareth, I couldn't hear you over the sound of me getting lit on fire!"
"Sorry Zanyen, I couldn't hear you over the sound of how awesome I am!"
- Zanyen and Jareth
"You can't crit the squishy, 'cause then the squishy dies, which creates plotholes, so you gotta bring the squishy back as a dragon to fill the plot holes, 'cause plotholes suck."
- Scott
"Don't you think it's a bit garish?"
"..."
"Right. What am I talking about?"
- Sel'aria and Tahlatria
"Wouldn't an asshat be a pair of pants?"
- Protsko
"Oh my god, it's a vampire gorilla!"
- Scott
"Discount Baby Blowout Sale! All children must go!"
- Pat
"Life is about living while you can until you die."
- Me
"I filled his pants with pudding."
- Angie
"Eh, I'll just let the worms heal it."
"You don't get it! He ripped off your dick and put it in your mouth after he cut out your tongue. If you let the worms heal it, you'll have a dicktongue!"
- Protsko and Me
"Oh sure, you bitch that the worms won't heal your cavities, but you won't say a thing when they reattach your dick."
- Scott to Protsko/Jareth
"Jareth: He has worms!"
- Everyone
"Crisis Core Cloud is just an adorable little piece of jailbait."
"...please, don't ever say that again."
"What, that Cloud's jailbait? He is! Come on, I'm sitting here wearing my Yaoi shirt, and you expect me to say anything else?!"
- Me and Scott
"Welcome to Jareth's Sexy Disc of Floating Ladies!"
- in reference to the Tenser's Floating Disc that has the stablized Cleric (at -7 hp) and the stablized Rogue (at -9 hp) lying unconscious on it.
"Shut up, I'm trying to smell something!"
- Pat
--
Also? My character should have died this evening - she was knocked down to -29 hp, when it only takes -10 to kill a character. Luckily, Pat has instituted this rule where, if your character would die, you can instead opt for them to lose a limb. Tahlatria lost her right arm. Fortunately, she's left-handed.
So! I'm gonna eventually get a mech arm! =D