(no subject)
Can't write. Can't write. Can't write. Can't write.
Haven't written anything in ages. Anxious.
I want to be sending stuff out, or writing frantically, or getting things going during my 'down time', but nothing comes. I need more inspiration/interaction probably. Nothing is happening in my life, and so there is nothing to write poems about.
All my old tricks don't seem to be working. I can't even get myself motivated enough to do research-y poems or write for a theme. I've got tons out right now, waiting to hear back from places. I know I'm accepted for the next-next issue of Edinburgh Review, which is HUGE (& paid, woot), but I feel like I'm not making enough of myself. Feel like I'm stale, stagnating.
Anxious anxious.
Last night I baked hardcore for Stuart's friday-work-bakedgoods-day. It was his turn. We don't eat sweets anymore at home (just shitloads of carbs & beer), so I haven't baked in AGES & it felt so, so good. I forget how much I like baking. Much more than cooking anything else (I made katsu-curry rice on Tuesday & we had homemade kara-age w/ veggies & homemade dips last night).
Anyhow, I baked:
meringue balls (stuart loves these)
nutella swirl cookies (too doughy.. needs more sugar)
& french macarons w/chocolate ganache
The macaron 'dough' (it's more like meringue) never got to the right consistency. I think we should have whipped the egg whites more. It was late though, and we got tired, & it was very noisy. The batter came out SUPER liquidy, too liquidy to pipe onto the pans... & so I didn't even bother making the ganache since I didn't have enough almond to make a new batch. *sigh*
I ended up making two-tone sugar cookies off an old (faithful) recipe I had in lieu of fail-cookies. Will try macarons again later.
Stuart's dad & bird are getting married on Saturday. I got a lilac dress & stuff for my hair & some sort of black scarf to match my black shoes. Dunno about the scarf. Might just wear black cardi instead if I can't pull it off.
I've cut my fringe (bangs) too short & jagged. They don't swipe to the side anymore.. just hang flat & jagged. It's not nice. Was hoping they'd grow out in time for the wedding but it's not looking good.
I read at the Bowery on Wednesday night. I realized I don't have anything new to read; luckily the crowd was tiny, but it's made me quite self-conscious that I'm reading TWICE more next week, and I'm totally unprepared. What will I read?! I basically need to figure out, what, SEVEN poems I feel comfortable enough reading outloud (5 and 2), no repeats since they'll probably have the same crowds, and nothing too old (since I read at one of the places already), and nothing I haven't read recently (like on Wednesday, or at the West Port book festival readings). I'm stressed. I definitely haven't written 7 poems I want to read, recently.
Better get to work. Next reading after that is in October, & hopefully by then I'll have some new stuff ready.
Come on, Aiko. PLEASE start writing something.
Haven't written anything in ages. Anxious.
I want to be sending stuff out, or writing frantically, or getting things going during my 'down time', but nothing comes. I need more inspiration/interaction probably. Nothing is happening in my life, and so there is nothing to write poems about.
All my old tricks don't seem to be working. I can't even get myself motivated enough to do research-y poems or write for a theme. I've got tons out right now, waiting to hear back from places. I know I'm accepted for the next-next issue of Edinburgh Review, which is HUGE (& paid, woot), but I feel like I'm not making enough of myself. Feel like I'm stale, stagnating.
Anxious anxious.
Last night I baked hardcore for Stuart's friday-work-bakedgoods-day. It was his turn. We don't eat sweets anymore at home (just shitloads of carbs & beer), so I haven't baked in AGES & it felt so, so good. I forget how much I like baking. Much more than cooking anything else (I made katsu-curry rice on Tuesday & we had homemade kara-age w/ veggies & homemade dips last night).
Anyhow, I baked:
meringue balls (stuart loves these)
nutella swirl cookies (too doughy.. needs more sugar)
& french macarons w/chocolate ganache
The macaron 'dough' (it's more like meringue) never got to the right consistency. I think we should have whipped the egg whites more. It was late though, and we got tired, & it was very noisy. The batter came out SUPER liquidy, too liquidy to pipe onto the pans... & so I didn't even bother making the ganache since I didn't have enough almond to make a new batch. *sigh*
I ended up making two-tone sugar cookies off an old (faithful) recipe I had in lieu of fail-cookies. Will try macarons again later.
Stuart's dad & bird are getting married on Saturday. I got a lilac dress & stuff for my hair & some sort of black scarf to match my black shoes. Dunno about the scarf. Might just wear black cardi instead if I can't pull it off.
I've cut my fringe (bangs) too short & jagged. They don't swipe to the side anymore.. just hang flat & jagged. It's not nice. Was hoping they'd grow out in time for the wedding but it's not looking good.
I read at the Bowery on Wednesday night. I realized I don't have anything new to read; luckily the crowd was tiny, but it's made me quite self-conscious that I'm reading TWICE more next week, and I'm totally unprepared. What will I read?! I basically need to figure out, what, SEVEN poems I feel comfortable enough reading outloud (5 and 2), no repeats since they'll probably have the same crowds, and nothing too old (since I read at one of the places already), and nothing I haven't read recently (like on Wednesday, or at the West Port book festival readings). I'm stressed. I definitely haven't written 7 poems I want to read, recently.
Better get to work. Next reading after that is in October, & hopefully by then I'll have some new stuff ready.
Come on, Aiko. PLEASE start writing something.