I'm not gay...I don't even enjoy licking stamps
One month left. Interesting. I don't even know where I'm going to live yet. That's scary...maybe a little. Comfort. I seem to have gotten comfortable. I can't handle that. I need challenge and change. I don't like predictability. I hate redundancy. Maybe that's why I enjoy certain things in life. Like argument for the sake of something to do. For drama. Why I enjoy being difficult. Maybe that's why I think way too much. My mind never rests. Somedays I want to shut it down. Shut it off. Everything just off. Not having to feel. Not having to think. Not having this sinking feeling in my chest every day. Not yearning for things I don't have. Not thinking about every word I say and what may be thought of it. Not wondering if there was something i could do or say that would change anything. Not regretting almost everything that I've said or done. Wishing that I wasn't so vulnerable. I just want to be. Just be me. Just enjoy who I am and where I am at, physically and mentally. But will I ever? I always want something more. Always. I am never content with what I have. It doesn't matter what it is. I like a challenge. Don't challenge me unless you want me. I just want to sleep. To sleep without thinking. To wake up without being tired still.