Jeremy
For a bit of time now I haven't told much of anyone about my current relationship, mainly because on here, I didn't want to jinx it. I wanted to see for myself if this was the real deal before I put it out there in web-space for everyone to see. Before I announced it to the entire world, or at least those who read this journal, I wanted to make sure first.
And I am.
Jeremy is a fur, and I met him during the time I was with Scott. We became friends fast, like we were just comfortable the first time we met. And the entire time I was visiting friends in Maryland, he called just to talk to me everyday. That friendship grew into best friends. He was the strength I needed to realize I wasn't happy in my life. And I know Scott still reads this journal and so does Chels but I need to be open and honest here. I wasn't happy with the way things were going on in my relationship with Scott and I know people know that we broke up but I hope at the very least, we're still friends.
It took a bit of time to myself to just sit back and look at my life and wonder what I wanted. And although my aunt Janice always says that Money first, love last. I don't follow that philosophy at all. I believe in Love first. But I took time and I'm sorry for disappearing but I took the time for me, I took it because I desperately needed it. Even though work and home life took my stress levels to breaking points to the point I just wanted to say "fuck it all" but I didn't.
But the entire time, Jeremy talked to me, all the time about everything. And the more we talked, the more I became attracted even though I was still scared about getting hurt. But the philosophy of my life is that I push forward and I take some serious risks despite most of the time of my cautionary nature. He asked for it, a chance with me, and said that when I was ready he'd be here for me. He waited, patiently before I finally said yes. And instead of running from my baggage, he took it on. He took on all of me and my quirks, took on all the things I hate about myself and made them into something beautiful. And you know I fell in love. But I wanted to know if this was just a puppy love thing or what, so I came to visit him. I'm still here and in the first day when I first kissed him.
I felt that pop. Like lifting my leg up while kissing him. The feeling that I was complete somehow. I've spent some serious time with him, one on one, and we've spent a lot of time cuddling and talking about the things that only lovers talk about. The deep down worries, the secrets, and the hopes and dreams. The things that only we know and nobody else. Some would tell me that I'm rushing this somehow but I don't feel I am. That's the funny part, its as though I've been waiting for this my entire life.
We don't have much in the way of compromises because well we fit so good together there's not much of an issue on our kinkiness, or some of our fantasies. We do everything together and what's down right funny is the only thing we disagree on is the fact he loves Miracle Whip and I love Mayo. He doesn't like Crab, but I do. That to me is funny when there could be a whole shit-load of issues we could be having. But when I need him, he's there. When I freak out he holds me and he won't let me run away. In the past when I got scared and started to cry or freak out about something, I tried to run away. And he won't let me, holds me close and tells me we're gonna work it out, or cry on me, I'm here, I'll help you with this, its the past, but I'm here for you.
That to me is something I've been missing for a long time. Someone who is willing to talk to me about all the things that need to be said, Jeremy isn't afraid of his emotions or letting them out, he doesn't hide them, he bluntly says them but has the finesse to not destroy me with them. If I'm upset about something, he will ask, all the time. He's attentive, watches me to see if something makes me happy, to see what makes me tick sometimes I think.
He bought me flowers, picked wild ones for me while we were walking together. Took me to the park and just held my hand, walked with me, talked with me and spent all his free time he could with me. Even when I told him to play one of his games, he took a little time for it, but wanted me right there with him to cuddle up against. He would stop his game playing and cuddle me or just stop all together if I wanted to do something. He cooked for me, and in his element he showed me how to defend myself.
Even though shit has hit the fan recently and he has to move back home to Longview, Washington. We are still going to see one another. Possibly in November again for a week, and then he's coming for Christmas and New Year's. We have talked about our future and how he wants to help me move there to Longview. It wouldn't be for another 8 months but past experiences have shown me that living with someone on a daily basis worked better than being far apart.
I have a lot to think about, but more like planning it seems. I'm not scared, first time ever I'm not scared to leave and move that far away. I would literally be on the west coast and no longer be on the east coast. But it doesn't scare me, I welcome it. There's no fear in it, because with him I barely have any, he quelches them and just brings me a peace I cannot formulate into words. He's literally my everything.
Well now that I wrote a novel...I'm gonna go back to cuddling next to him at the moment. Even though the poor thing is fast asleep because he worked an 8 hour shift at the General Mills Plant.
And I am.
Jeremy is a fur, and I met him during the time I was with Scott. We became friends fast, like we were just comfortable the first time we met. And the entire time I was visiting friends in Maryland, he called just to talk to me everyday. That friendship grew into best friends. He was the strength I needed to realize I wasn't happy in my life. And I know Scott still reads this journal and so does Chels but I need to be open and honest here. I wasn't happy with the way things were going on in my relationship with Scott and I know people know that we broke up but I hope at the very least, we're still friends.
It took a bit of time to myself to just sit back and look at my life and wonder what I wanted. And although my aunt Janice always says that Money first, love last. I don't follow that philosophy at all. I believe in Love first. But I took time and I'm sorry for disappearing but I took the time for me, I took it because I desperately needed it. Even though work and home life took my stress levels to breaking points to the point I just wanted to say "fuck it all" but I didn't.
But the entire time, Jeremy talked to me, all the time about everything. And the more we talked, the more I became attracted even though I was still scared about getting hurt. But the philosophy of my life is that I push forward and I take some serious risks despite most of the time of my cautionary nature. He asked for it, a chance with me, and said that when I was ready he'd be here for me. He waited, patiently before I finally said yes. And instead of running from my baggage, he took it on. He took on all of me and my quirks, took on all the things I hate about myself and made them into something beautiful. And you know I fell in love. But I wanted to know if this was just a puppy love thing or what, so I came to visit him. I'm still here and in the first day when I first kissed him.
I felt that pop. Like lifting my leg up while kissing him. The feeling that I was complete somehow. I've spent some serious time with him, one on one, and we've spent a lot of time cuddling and talking about the things that only lovers talk about. The deep down worries, the secrets, and the hopes and dreams. The things that only we know and nobody else. Some would tell me that I'm rushing this somehow but I don't feel I am. That's the funny part, its as though I've been waiting for this my entire life.
We don't have much in the way of compromises because well we fit so good together there's not much of an issue on our kinkiness, or some of our fantasies. We do everything together and what's down right funny is the only thing we disagree on is the fact he loves Miracle Whip and I love Mayo. He doesn't like Crab, but I do. That to me is funny when there could be a whole shit-load of issues we could be having. But when I need him, he's there. When I freak out he holds me and he won't let me run away. In the past when I got scared and started to cry or freak out about something, I tried to run away. And he won't let me, holds me close and tells me we're gonna work it out, or cry on me, I'm here, I'll help you with this, its the past, but I'm here for you.
That to me is something I've been missing for a long time. Someone who is willing to talk to me about all the things that need to be said, Jeremy isn't afraid of his emotions or letting them out, he doesn't hide them, he bluntly says them but has the finesse to not destroy me with them. If I'm upset about something, he will ask, all the time. He's attentive, watches me to see if something makes me happy, to see what makes me tick sometimes I think.
He bought me flowers, picked wild ones for me while we were walking together. Took me to the park and just held my hand, walked with me, talked with me and spent all his free time he could with me. Even when I told him to play one of his games, he took a little time for it, but wanted me right there with him to cuddle up against. He would stop his game playing and cuddle me or just stop all together if I wanted to do something. He cooked for me, and in his element he showed me how to defend myself.
Even though shit has hit the fan recently and he has to move back home to Longview, Washington. We are still going to see one another. Possibly in November again for a week, and then he's coming for Christmas and New Year's. We have talked about our future and how he wants to help me move there to Longview. It wouldn't be for another 8 months but past experiences have shown me that living with someone on a daily basis worked better than being far apart.
I have a lot to think about, but more like planning it seems. I'm not scared, first time ever I'm not scared to leave and move that far away. I would literally be on the west coast and no longer be on the east coast. But it doesn't scare me, I welcome it. There's no fear in it, because with him I barely have any, he quelches them and just brings me a peace I cannot formulate into words. He's literally my everything.
Well now that I wrote a novel...I'm gonna go back to cuddling next to him at the moment. Even though the poor thing is fast asleep because he worked an 8 hour shift at the General Mills Plant.