(no subject)

Apr 08, 2014 20:53


I've come to learn how important it is to express your gratitude to the people around you, those who you spend your time with at work or school, because those people are the ones that you spend most of your time with, even more than your own family probably.

5 days a week I turn up at this place and do my thing, I try to work together with some of the most diverse groups of people that I have ever known, groups with some of the most mixed personalities I have ever met.
With all those differences it is crucial that we all know how to work together, that we understand how important team work is.
Because we're adults, we're supposed to be able to come to terms with the things we don't agree with, to cooperate with those whom we find annoying, stupid or senseless, to argue without fighting.

Sometimes we remember that, and sometimes we don't.

For the past nine months I've been a part of a team full of strong personalities that sometimes crash with each other.
Even with all the drama I've come to love them in my own way, because they've accepted me, and they've let me be myself.
They're like brothers and sisters to me, aunts and uncles that look after me even when I feel like I don't deserve it.
The mistakes, the courage to admit my wrongdoings, my faults, to take responsibiity, that's something I credit to them.

And by the end of the day, I might be tired and ready to go home, but that gratitude, that appreciation for what I have, for what they give me every day, and the smiles I give in return, no matter how exhausted I look, always comes from my heart.

But lately...
Lately I've felt so tired, so exhausted, because no matter how much I love these people, there are some who are kinda like poison to me.
I can accept people being tired and whining about our job and whatnotelse, but the thing I find harder and harder to deal with, is the amount of crap people spew out about their colleagues.
I can understand when people dislike each other and why they find it hard to stand each other, but when I get in the middle of it, having to listen to one part basically pushing their rage up my face without any regard for my feelings towards the matter, it just gets too much to handle sometimes.

Because I like them all.. and I hate seeing people fight... I know it's naive of me but this is who I am.
And it breaks me, it breaks me into tiny tiny pieces everytime you force me to just stand there, listening to you rage on about a person who feels like a brother to me, nodding along and saying that I understand your rage, because I do, I know this person isn't perfect, it's just that I don't feel the same.
Because I have a different experience with everyone, I'm a different person than you are and I have other priorities in life, and that makes me feel sick to the stomach having to listen to this almost every day. It triggers my anxiety attacks and everything feels like poison.

I'm so grateful to each and everyone at work, even the people who tends to rant too much, but sometimes it's just so exhausting and it's eating me away.
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