Prayers
Dear God,
Grant us the serenity to accept the things we cannot change
The courage to change the things we can
And the wisdom to know the difference
Patience for the things that take time
Appreciation for all that we have
And tolerance for those with different struggles
Freedom to live beyond the limitations of our past ways
The ability to feel your love for us and our love for each other
And the strength to get up and try again even when we feel it is hopeless.
--
I want to thank you for everything in my life right now. The good things AND the bad things, because they all made me become who I am today.
I know you have been challenging me throughout almost half my life. For the past nine years, I have barely been happy or self-confident, I had no friends and my family obviously didn't want me. There sure were times when I thought I could not take it anymore. There were times when I wanted to EXIT. Finally. But I didn't.
Because you made me strong enough to pull through. You brought a wonderful person into my life, namely Pauley P, who made me realize that I am okay the way I am and that there is a reason for everything. It was only a few weeks ago when I finally realized that there really IS a reason for everything, and that you would never ever go too far.
I know that all these things happened for one reason: to make me a better person.
Before we moved, I was way too self-confident, I was mean and sometimes a real bitch (at age 10...). I hit people, insulted them and did not think about other people's feelings. When we moved, I got to know what it feels like to be insulted, beat, rejected ... I totally lost all my self-confidence, I got sad and lonely and I learned what it is like to literally have nobody. I learned what it feels like to have your whole family against you. Many many times I cried myself to sleep because I did not understand what I had done wrong to deserve this.
Although I was never faithful before, I blamed you for everything bad that happened to me but failed to thank you for the good things. I did just not understand how you would do this to me.
Fortunately, you realized that I was going to end everything real soon if things stayed like this. You made me feel better. You gave me a chance to prove a point. I could work in that coffee shop, I could go to Los Angeles, I got to meet wonderful people and I got to meet Pauley. Only a short time after that, I also got to meet the most wonderful people on the planet when I signed up for Twitter.
Since June 2013, I sure do believe in Faith and Destiny - and YOU. You have proven to me that you are watching over us day by day, that you sure challenge us but don't go too far and also reward us for pulling through rough times.
Thanks to you, I finally know who I am and where I want to go. And although I often have trouble with my family or the people around me, I know I am okay. I know I can't be perfect for everyone. I realized that, no matter how hard I try, I will never be good enough for my father, so I will just stop trying to please him. And I won't let him pressurize me anymore. If he wants to have me out of the house - fine. I can live without them. I will make it. I know it. Because if everyone else is gone - you are still there.
Please forgive me everything bad I've done to other people and myself. Please give me a second chance, for I am now sure what is important to me, and I will prove that I mean it as soon as I live in Los Angeles. Please make me strong enough to take it another 3-4 years.
Again, I want to thank you for EVERYTHING that has happened to me. The bad things because that way, it was more painful for me, but less painful for everyone around me.
The good things because it is they that make me strong at times I feel like I can't take it anymore.
To list a few... Thanks for:
- Having brought Pauley Perrette into my life.
- Megan, Stacey, Jamie, Amber, Jason, Rachael, Cammy, Whitney - all my wonderful Twitter friends whom I love SO much because they love me and accept me the way I am, talk to me about my stuff without labeling or judging me.
- Hollywood United Methodist Church: the most wonderful community in the world who also accepted me the way I am.
- The possibility and opportunity to visit my home Los Angeles and all my LA people as often as possible.
- The rather cool class I have now, although we will only see us two days a week.
- For making my life awesome with a few little flaws.
ALL LOVE.
NO H8.
Grant us the serenity to accept the things we cannot change
The courage to change the things we can
And the wisdom to know the difference
Patience for the things that take time
Appreciation for all that we have
And tolerance for those with different struggles
Freedom to live beyond the limitations of our past ways
The ability to feel your love for us and our love for each other
And the strength to get up and try again even when we feel it is hopeless.
--
I want to thank you for everything in my life right now. The good things AND the bad things, because they all made me become who I am today.
I know you have been challenging me throughout almost half my life. For the past nine years, I have barely been happy or self-confident, I had no friends and my family obviously didn't want me. There sure were times when I thought I could not take it anymore. There were times when I wanted to EXIT. Finally. But I didn't.
Because you made me strong enough to pull through. You brought a wonderful person into my life, namely Pauley P, who made me realize that I am okay the way I am and that there is a reason for everything. It was only a few weeks ago when I finally realized that there really IS a reason for everything, and that you would never ever go too far.
I know that all these things happened for one reason: to make me a better person.
Before we moved, I was way too self-confident, I was mean and sometimes a real bitch (at age 10...). I hit people, insulted them and did not think about other people's feelings. When we moved, I got to know what it feels like to be insulted, beat, rejected ... I totally lost all my self-confidence, I got sad and lonely and I learned what it is like to literally have nobody. I learned what it feels like to have your whole family against you. Many many times I cried myself to sleep because I did not understand what I had done wrong to deserve this.
Although I was never faithful before, I blamed you for everything bad that happened to me but failed to thank you for the good things. I did just not understand how you would do this to me.
Fortunately, you realized that I was going to end everything real soon if things stayed like this. You made me feel better. You gave me a chance to prove a point. I could work in that coffee shop, I could go to Los Angeles, I got to meet wonderful people and I got to meet Pauley. Only a short time after that, I also got to meet the most wonderful people on the planet when I signed up for Twitter.
Since June 2013, I sure do believe in Faith and Destiny - and YOU. You have proven to me that you are watching over us day by day, that you sure challenge us but don't go too far and also reward us for pulling through rough times.
Thanks to you, I finally know who I am and where I want to go. And although I often have trouble with my family or the people around me, I know I am okay. I know I can't be perfect for everyone. I realized that, no matter how hard I try, I will never be good enough for my father, so I will just stop trying to please him. And I won't let him pressurize me anymore. If he wants to have me out of the house - fine. I can live without them. I will make it. I know it. Because if everyone else is gone - you are still there.
Please forgive me everything bad I've done to other people and myself. Please give me a second chance, for I am now sure what is important to me, and I will prove that I mean it as soon as I live in Los Angeles. Please make me strong enough to take it another 3-4 years.
Again, I want to thank you for EVERYTHING that has happened to me. The bad things because that way, it was more painful for me, but less painful for everyone around me.
The good things because it is they that make me strong at times I feel like I can't take it anymore.
To list a few... Thanks for:
- Having brought Pauley Perrette into my life.
- Megan, Stacey, Jamie, Amber, Jason, Rachael, Cammy, Whitney - all my wonderful Twitter friends whom I love SO much because they love me and accept me the way I am, talk to me about my stuff without labeling or judging me.
- Hollywood United Methodist Church: the most wonderful community in the world who also accepted me the way I am.
- The possibility and opportunity to visit my home Los Angeles and all my LA people as often as possible.
- The rather cool class I have now, although we will only see us two days a week.
- For making my life awesome with a few little flaws.
ALL LOVE.
NO H8.