hey!
hello everyone. this ol' livejournal seems like a good place to post; somebody usually replies. anyway, i just thought i'd say hi to the people in this pseudo-community over here. so, hi!
and, i changed my default, after millions of years of the ol' grey leaf. this picture, of my eyeball and hair, i took with a tiny little digital camera that has since died. i miss that thing, it was handy and neat.
(the grey leaf i stole from bluerobot, who is frozen like a bug in amber. i used to be mopey enough that it felt appropriate; now i am not so much mopey as apathetic.)
it's interesting to look back at these old journal entries. in one i complained that i didn't want to do the band life forever. right now the band life is sounding pretty good :/ which perspective is true? am i really no good at college, or is it just this college, or these classes?
i guess i should explain: the first time that i tried college, right after i graduated high school, i ended up dropping out of most of my classes the second semester. this semester, my second at utsa, i am starting to get apathetic and skip classes. big no! i am quite in debt already, and if i drop out of college i'll have to start paying it back -- not an attractive option at the low-wage fast food job i'd be likely to score.
my old life back in abilene sounds nice right now, lacking from the dangers and complications of having picked up and moved somewhere else and gotten into debt at a college i know nothing about. but this dangerous situation sounded pretty nice compared to my frozen, routine life in abilene at the time.
is the truth just that i am always running away from where i am? i am i just trying to get away from myself?
great. i was cheerful when i started and now i'm back into my old self-doubting ways. thanks, internet!
ahhhh, actually i guess i'm alright. just thinkin' aloud. is that good or bad? you be the judge! dun dun dunnnnn!
yeah, bedtime.
and, i changed my default, after millions of years of the ol' grey leaf. this picture, of my eyeball and hair, i took with a tiny little digital camera that has since died. i miss that thing, it was handy and neat.
(the grey leaf i stole from bluerobot, who is frozen like a bug in amber. i used to be mopey enough that it felt appropriate; now i am not so much mopey as apathetic.)
it's interesting to look back at these old journal entries. in one i complained that i didn't want to do the band life forever. right now the band life is sounding pretty good :/ which perspective is true? am i really no good at college, or is it just this college, or these classes?
i guess i should explain: the first time that i tried college, right after i graduated high school, i ended up dropping out of most of my classes the second semester. this semester, my second at utsa, i am starting to get apathetic and skip classes. big no! i am quite in debt already, and if i drop out of college i'll have to start paying it back -- not an attractive option at the low-wage fast food job i'd be likely to score.
my old life back in abilene sounds nice right now, lacking from the dangers and complications of having picked up and moved somewhere else and gotten into debt at a college i know nothing about. but this dangerous situation sounded pretty nice compared to my frozen, routine life in abilene at the time.
is the truth just that i am always running away from where i am? i am i just trying to get away from myself?
great. i was cheerful when i started and now i'm back into my old self-doubting ways. thanks, internet!
ahhhh, actually i guess i'm alright. just thinkin' aloud. is that good or bad? you be the judge! dun dun dunnnnn!
yeah, bedtime.