[fic] Just Don't Look Back, Chapter 17 - Yugioh, YamixYugi, angst/romance, R, AU
Title: Just Don't Look Back
Chapter: 17
Author: Chey (duelist_gurl163)
Rating: R
Genre: Angst/romance
Pairing: YamixYugi
Archive: Here
Overall warnings: AU, implied sex, insanity, violence
Spoilers: None.
Summary: Before he met Yugi, Yami spent his days panhandling alone. Yugi put his heart into changing Yami’s life, giving him companionship, a home and his love. But even he can’t save Yami from the control of his past, nor the dark path he is set upon.
Disclaimer: Yugioh continues to not belong to me.
- 01 - 02 - 03 - 04 - 05 - 06 - 07 - 08 - 09 - 10 - 11 - 12 - 13 - 14 - 15 - 16 -
---
“You are a suspect in the murders of Ezui Sasaki and Takeshi Fujita, as well as the assault and attempted murders of Jiro Kawakami, Kenji Ueda, Yoshio Nakajima and Hiroshi Yamada. You have the right to remain silent and to hire a lawyer of your own expense. If a detention order is issued and you do not have the resources to afford a lawyer you have the right to a court-appointed attorney. If you are interested in a court-appointed attorney, you should inform us, the prosecutor, or the judge immediately.” Superintendent Ito folded his hands after his recitation and gave Yami a long look across the table. “You will be questioned later today. I strongly urge you to consider your plea. As I’m sure you know, given your mother’s history, pleading guilty and showing remorse for the crime will likely lessen your sentence. You will go with us before a public prosecutor tomorrow to present evidence. Is this all understood?”
Yami shivered under the thin prison uniform he’d been given. His gaze darted around the small room. “I…” he said faintly. “I…yes, I mean. Yes. I understand.”
“Very well. A guard will take you to your cell.”
Stiffly, Yami stood up. The guard outside the sparse questioning room opened the door and beckoned him forward. He was led along a narrow hallway, out onto another hallway of cells. The guard unlocked his handcuffs as the door of the nearest slid open. Yami stared inside.
I can’t go in there.
He took a step back. The guard’s hand went to his gun. “Stop,” he warned.
Yami took another step back.
“I said don’t move!” the guard barked, pulling his gun from its holster. Yami cowered at the shout, his eyes wide and moist.
“I- I’m sorry-”
His plea got him nowhere. The guard grabbed Yami’s arm and yanked him forward. Yami released a cry as the walls were forced toward him and unconsciously he struggled.
“Is there a problem already?” Ito demanded from around the corner, hearing the commotion.
“Sort of sir, he won’t go in the cell-”
“No,” Yami pleaded. “I can’t go in there, I can’t.”
But he was weak. It took only a moment for the guard to grab his other arm, yank him off balance, and force him into the cell.
Reeling, Yami stumbled backwards away from the wall, only to meet another.
“No, no,” he gasped, covering his face with his hands.
Deep in his mind his last defense, his last barrier against the madness he knew existed in him, was cracking.
The cell door slammed.
The world around him crumpled away in a haze of dust and debris.
Somewhere, people were screaming for help.
Yami dropped to the floor. His hands slowly clenched, his nails digging into his forehead.
“Is there something wrong with him?” The guard asked, watching him mumble to himself. “Should we send him to the medical ward, sir?”
“No. If being in a cell affects him so badly, maybe he’ll crack and confess,” Ito said. “It doesn’t matter if he’s sane or not, what matters is if we can tie him to the crime.” He sighed. “It would sure make our jobs easier.”
Yami couldn’t hear them. The screams were too loud.
- - -
When Yugi finally arrived at school that afternoon, he could feel his friends’ eyes on him during class. They weren’t the only ones giving him curious looks and he kept his head down for most of the class. He could only imagine how he must look - especially if he appeared as dazed as he felt.
The moment the teacher dismissed the class for break, they hurried to his desk, bubbling over with questions. “Where were you this morning!?”
Yugi shoved his notebook in his bag. “At home.”
“You look awful, are you okay?” Anzu said, eyeing his pale face worriedly. “Did you catch the cold Yami had?”
“No, I’m not sick. I’m okay, really, don’t worry. I need to go talk to Kannagi-sensei about what I missed in class-”
Jounouchi held out his arm, blocking his way. “Yug…what’s going on?”
Of course his half-assed answers weren’t going to work on them. Part of Yugi wondered why he had even tried. Perhaps it had been a lame attempt to force himself to believe it would be fine.
“I was at home, talking to the police,” he answered. His friends gaped at him.
“What happened?”
“Was the store robbed? Is your family okay?”
Yugi glanced around, under the guise of making sure the room was empty. He couldn’t meet their eyes when he said the words. “They were there to arrest Yami.”
He could practically hear their thoughts, but to their credit none of them said any of the less-than-kind things.
“Why?” asked Honda.
“He’s a suspect. I don’t want to talk about it,” Yugi said, and pushed by them while they were still off-guard. In the hall, he broke into a run before they could corner him again.
When school let out that afternoon, Yugi snuck up the stairs to the school roof and peered down at the courtyard. Sure enough, his friends were grouped around the exit, no doubt waiting for him after he’d managed to evade them the rest of the day.
It made him smile sadly through the chain link fencing. It was nice that they cared. If only that could actually make a difference.
He turned and slid down behind the concrete lower fence, out of sight. He didn’t feel like going home or seeing anyone. He didn’t feel like doing anything. He had briefly considered going to the jail and begging them to let him speak to Yami, but even if by some miracle they let him, what would he say? “I’m sorry you got arrested for a crime you committed?” And any kind of encouragement would only make the police suspicious. He would be better off staying quiet and hoping that Eve’s alibi for Yami held.
Yugi propped his chin glumly in his hands. A few months ago he never would have believed he’d be trying to protect a murderer. He never could have foreseen himself lying to the police, to his parents, to his friends…
Maybe Yami is a bad influence.
He’d been offended when his mother first suggested it, but now he thought she might have a point. Why else would he be condoning a sin and protecting a criminal, if he hadn’t been influenced to? If he had never met Yami and one of his friends had committed murder, would he be trying to protect them? His first thought was that yes, he would. Then he wondered if he wasn’t just thinking that to give himself an excuse to protect Yami now. Then he wondered if maybe there was some violent part of him which didn’t mind killing that he wasn’t aware of until now, considering how flippantly he was dismissing the idea.
“Ugh…” He squeezed his eyes shut. It was hell, second-guessing his own second-guesses. Was it possible to third-guess oneself?
I thought the fact that he didn’t plan it and didn’t intend to hurt them made it okay. Maybe I just wanted a reason for it to be okay. I wanted a reason to protect him.
Now he wanted to be angry. He wanted to be upset. It might hurt less if he believed that jail would atone for Yami’s crimes and would make him a better person. It was called ‘criminal justice,’ there was ‘justice’ right in the name. So in the end this was the right path. It would be a comforting thing to believe in. He wished he could.
“Yugi?”
He straightened up to the sound of Anzu’s voice and saw her walking across the roof toward him.
“Hi Anzu.”
“I thought I’d find you up here. When you didn’t come out of school I figured you were hiding.”
“You know me too well,” Yugi mumbled.
“Jounouchi and Honda wanted to come up, but I figured I should stop them. They’re not exactly tactful sometimes.”
“They mean well,” Yugi said, for lack of anything better.
“Yes, they do,” she said, settling herself beside him. “So, what’s going on?”
“Nothing.”
Anzu half-turned toward him. Her tone grew slightly more matter-of-fact. “If you think we’re just going to ignore the fact that you’re upset and moping and that something heavy is going on in your life, then you clearly don’t know us as well as you should.”
“I know you won’t ignore it,” Yugi said, smiling despite himself. “That means a lot to me, Anzu. You guys are great, but this is something you can’t fix. Yami’s in jail, nothing’s going to fix that.”
“What are they saying he did?”
“They said that he- that he killed some people,” he said quietly.
Anzu didn’t answer for a few minutes, but Yugi preferred the silence to the accusations he’d suspected that they wanted to make earlier. “We knew he was no good. We warned you he was dangerous.” Yugi didn’t want to hear it.
“Who?” Anzu finally asked.
“Some men he knew. They were homeless too; they used to come and harass him. They were attacked. One of the survivors gave up Yami’s name.”
“The same people who you fought with?”
“No.” It was the same lie he’d told his parents. He’d figured it was the safest answer. If they connected the fight with Yugi to the murders, it would give Yami an extra motive. That was the last thing he needed. The lie wasn’t so far-fetched; even if the survivor who had given up Yami’s name mentioned the fight, it would be Yugi’s word against his and the fight motive would just be dismissed.
“Do you think he did it?” Anzu asked.
Slowly, Yugi shook his head. “Yami’s not a murderer,” he said softly. “He’s not.”
She waited, but he didn’t say any more. So she straightened up and said, “Then it will be okay. If he didn’t do it, then there won’t be any evidence.”
“He must be terrified,” Yugi said, his voice suddenly shaking. “It must be awful for him, to be locked up, to be unable to get out.”
“He’ll be okay.” She patted his shoulder. “What I want to know is if you’ll be okay. You look like you’re about to collapse.”
Yugi nodded. “I will be. I…I think I’m still just in shock, that’s all. It was only just this morning. I’m sorry for worrying you.”
“Can I tell Jounouchi and Honda?”
“Sure. Just…tell them I don’t feel like answering a ton of questions, because I don’t really know anything else.”
“I’ll do that.” She got to her feet. “Thank you for telling me.”
“Thank you for caring,” he replied, managing a smile for her. The moment she turned to leave it vanished.
Murderer or not, he’d told her the truth. Yami must be terrified. He had already been having nightmares and anxiety attacks. He was as stressed out as Yugi had ever seen him, and now he was locked somewhere, with the possibility of being locked in there for the rest of his life. If simply entering a diner to meet Yugi’s friends had set him off, what would a jail cell do? And if they found him insane…well, an asylum wouldn’t be much better. Yugi had read about criminal asylums and the people in them and shuddered to think of Yami someplace like that.
Yami’s sick, he thought. But jail isn’t going to heal him. It would be torture, not justice. He’s already punishing himself in his mind. What’s done is done, it can’t be taken away. At least out here he can try to be a good person and make amends.
He knew all his rationalizations were just a bunch of excuses, but they made him feel better about what he was doing. It was no worse than continuously doubting his own thoughts and sanity.
For now, they were all he had.
- - -
Yami was drifting someplace between the present and the past. With every blink the jail cell changed. One moment he was in the crumbling school, the next in a ratty one-room apartment, the next back in the cell but surrounded by ghosts clawing at him. He finally covered his eyes, whimpering, trying to block out the images, but his brain forced them upon himself anyway, flashing inside his eyelids.
The classroom, their house, Shoua, the field of the dead, his parents, Yugi…
Through the confusion he heard a clang as the door opened. Someone yanked him to his feet by his arm. Relief at being freed from the cell flooded through him.
“This way,” the guard said, cuffing him and pulling him down the hall. Yami looked up in time to see the inside of the same interrogation room as before. An official he hadn’t met yet, this one dressed in a clean but well-worn jacket rather than a uniform or crisp suit, sat on one side of the table. Yami was seated on the other side. This time the room didn’t seem so threatening…anything was better than the cell. The man across from him, however, worried him. He had a sharp, unfriendly face.
His thoughts raced, each one interrupting the next. What should I tell them? Should I refuse to say anything? Should I just give them the alibi? Should I try not to make it too perfect? Would that be too suspicious? Should I wait until he asks or try to explain right away?
The man across the table introduced himself as detective Ren Koga. Yami steeled himself, waiting for the questions to begin. Instead, the detective leaned forward and said, “You have undoubtedly already been urged to plead guilty. I now urge you to listen to those whom told you. Showing no remorse will only make things worse for you. You’ve killed two people and permanently disabled four others. The judge could easily make this a capital trial.”
Yami could feel himself going pale. He was ready for questions, not threats.
The detective’s voice grew more encouraging. “Take this chance to unburden yourself with the stress of your crime. Show remorse, confess, and you may even be able to avoid a life sentence. We understand these men were not well-liked and have testimony from other vagrants that they used to harass you. The defense might even be able to find a sympathetic spin on the case. You may only see fifteen to twenty years.”
Years.
A single morning in a jail cell had sent him into madness. What would years in one bring?
It was that detail that clinched his decision to lie. During his moments of clarity, Yami had considered confessing. He had thought that maybe Yugi was wrong. Maybe they did have evidence. The detective certainly seemed confident. At least if he confessed they might not kill him. Now his moment of uncertainty had passed - above all else, he feared memories more than death.
“I didn’t do it,” he mumbled. “I didn’t-”
Detective Koga scowled and slammed his hand down on the table, changing tactics from friendly to harsh instantly. Yami cringed and shied away.
“You did do it,” Koga accused. “And if you refuse to admit it the consequences will be much more than they need to be.”
“But I d-didn’t- I have an alibi-”
“Stop bullshitting and just admit the truth. The more lies you tell the more unfavorably the judge will look at you. Your defense is worthless, the testimony of a family member is useless as an alibi.”
His eyes brimming with tears, Yami choked, “No, I didn’t, I’m not l-lying-”
“You’re lying! If you continue to lie then you’ll be the only one to blame when you’re standing with the hangman’s noose around your neck!”
Yami shrank back in his chair, staring up at the detective in terror. “Stop it,” he pleaded. “Stop yelling, please-”
“Not until you confess!”
Yami raised his cuffed hands to his face and clamped his fingers over his ears. “No, I didn’t do it! Just…just ask your questions, stop threatening me-”
The detective yanked his hands away, unconcerned by Yami’s feeble struggles. “I can sit here and tell you to confess all day if I have to. We don’t have to waste this time or bother with questions. I’ve heard that you seem to hate small rooms. We can get out of this room if you confess. I’ll even try to find a larger cell for you. The longer you hold out, the more you lie, the longer you’ll spend in here. I’ll find the tiniest cell we have and have them lock you in it for a very long time if you don’t plead guilty.”
“Stop!” Yami sobbed. “Leave me alone, stop yelling- I didn’t d-do anything, let me go!”
“Confess, and I will!”
The shouting had only served to set the ghosts shrieking inside his head again. In tears, he shook, deafened by yelling coming from all directions. He could shut them all up by confessing. He could get out of this room, he could get away to someplace quiet…
It had been a long day, and he was tired, and his strength was gone. The only thing he had to hold him together was knowing the consequences for the people who had protected him if he was convicted. His mother would go back to jail for faking an alibi for him and Yugi…undoubtedly he would be punished by his family for defending someone they had warned him against. He would lose Yugi if he was convicted. Nobody would wait fifteen years for someone who would be raving mad by the time he was released.
Giving in meant letting down the only family he had left and losing the only person who refused to let him go. He’d thought that could give him the strength to lie.
Now he wasn’t sure if that would be enough.
X - X - X
Notes: I sort of love this chapter in a sadistic evil way. I sort of love where this storyline is going in a sadistic evil way. I think, when it comes to Yami!angst, I’m just…really sadistic and evil. Yep.
Writing this has also made me realize (once again) how badly I bungled up police work in every single other fic I’ve written. Forgive me, Japanese law enforcement, for not doing the research before. I was a lazy noob…sadly, that’s the only excuse I have. D= It is my hope that the research I did for this one will, in some way, make up for my impertinence before. Although the research all came up less-than-favorably for the enforcement. Apparently Yami’s lucky that he’s just being yelled at. >.>
Happy Memorial Day!
Chapter: 17
Author: Chey (duelist_gurl163)
Rating: R
Genre: Angst/romance
Pairing: YamixYugi
Archive: Here
Overall warnings: AU, implied sex, insanity, violence
Spoilers: None.
Summary: Before he met Yugi, Yami spent his days panhandling alone. Yugi put his heart into changing Yami’s life, giving him companionship, a home and his love. But even he can’t save Yami from the control of his past, nor the dark path he is set upon.
Disclaimer: Yugioh continues to not belong to me.
- 01 - 02 - 03 - 04 - 05 - 06 - 07 - 08 - 09 - 10 - 11 - 12 - 13 - 14 - 15 - 16 -
---
“You are a suspect in the murders of Ezui Sasaki and Takeshi Fujita, as well as the assault and attempted murders of Jiro Kawakami, Kenji Ueda, Yoshio Nakajima and Hiroshi Yamada. You have the right to remain silent and to hire a lawyer of your own expense. If a detention order is issued and you do not have the resources to afford a lawyer you have the right to a court-appointed attorney. If you are interested in a court-appointed attorney, you should inform us, the prosecutor, or the judge immediately.” Superintendent Ito folded his hands after his recitation and gave Yami a long look across the table. “You will be questioned later today. I strongly urge you to consider your plea. As I’m sure you know, given your mother’s history, pleading guilty and showing remorse for the crime will likely lessen your sentence. You will go with us before a public prosecutor tomorrow to present evidence. Is this all understood?”
Yami shivered under the thin prison uniform he’d been given. His gaze darted around the small room. “I…” he said faintly. “I…yes, I mean. Yes. I understand.”
“Very well. A guard will take you to your cell.”
Stiffly, Yami stood up. The guard outside the sparse questioning room opened the door and beckoned him forward. He was led along a narrow hallway, out onto another hallway of cells. The guard unlocked his handcuffs as the door of the nearest slid open. Yami stared inside.
I can’t go in there.
He took a step back. The guard’s hand went to his gun. “Stop,” he warned.
Yami took another step back.
“I said don’t move!” the guard barked, pulling his gun from its holster. Yami cowered at the shout, his eyes wide and moist.
“I- I’m sorry-”
His plea got him nowhere. The guard grabbed Yami’s arm and yanked him forward. Yami released a cry as the walls were forced toward him and unconsciously he struggled.
“Is there a problem already?” Ito demanded from around the corner, hearing the commotion.
“Sort of sir, he won’t go in the cell-”
“No,” Yami pleaded. “I can’t go in there, I can’t.”
But he was weak. It took only a moment for the guard to grab his other arm, yank him off balance, and force him into the cell.
Reeling, Yami stumbled backwards away from the wall, only to meet another.
“No, no,” he gasped, covering his face with his hands.
Deep in his mind his last defense, his last barrier against the madness he knew existed in him, was cracking.
The cell door slammed.
The world around him crumpled away in a haze of dust and debris.
Somewhere, people were screaming for help.
Yami dropped to the floor. His hands slowly clenched, his nails digging into his forehead.
“Is there something wrong with him?” The guard asked, watching him mumble to himself. “Should we send him to the medical ward, sir?”
“No. If being in a cell affects him so badly, maybe he’ll crack and confess,” Ito said. “It doesn’t matter if he’s sane or not, what matters is if we can tie him to the crime.” He sighed. “It would sure make our jobs easier.”
Yami couldn’t hear them. The screams were too loud.
- - -
When Yugi finally arrived at school that afternoon, he could feel his friends’ eyes on him during class. They weren’t the only ones giving him curious looks and he kept his head down for most of the class. He could only imagine how he must look - especially if he appeared as dazed as he felt.
The moment the teacher dismissed the class for break, they hurried to his desk, bubbling over with questions. “Where were you this morning!?”
Yugi shoved his notebook in his bag. “At home.”
“You look awful, are you okay?” Anzu said, eyeing his pale face worriedly. “Did you catch the cold Yami had?”
“No, I’m not sick. I’m okay, really, don’t worry. I need to go talk to Kannagi-sensei about what I missed in class-”
Jounouchi held out his arm, blocking his way. “Yug…what’s going on?”
Of course his half-assed answers weren’t going to work on them. Part of Yugi wondered why he had even tried. Perhaps it had been a lame attempt to force himself to believe it would be fine.
“I was at home, talking to the police,” he answered. His friends gaped at him.
“What happened?”
“Was the store robbed? Is your family okay?”
Yugi glanced around, under the guise of making sure the room was empty. He couldn’t meet their eyes when he said the words. “They were there to arrest Yami.”
He could practically hear their thoughts, but to their credit none of them said any of the less-than-kind things.
“Why?” asked Honda.
“He’s a suspect. I don’t want to talk about it,” Yugi said, and pushed by them while they were still off-guard. In the hall, he broke into a run before they could corner him again.
When school let out that afternoon, Yugi snuck up the stairs to the school roof and peered down at the courtyard. Sure enough, his friends were grouped around the exit, no doubt waiting for him after he’d managed to evade them the rest of the day.
It made him smile sadly through the chain link fencing. It was nice that they cared. If only that could actually make a difference.
He turned and slid down behind the concrete lower fence, out of sight. He didn’t feel like going home or seeing anyone. He didn’t feel like doing anything. He had briefly considered going to the jail and begging them to let him speak to Yami, but even if by some miracle they let him, what would he say? “I’m sorry you got arrested for a crime you committed?” And any kind of encouragement would only make the police suspicious. He would be better off staying quiet and hoping that Eve’s alibi for Yami held.
Yugi propped his chin glumly in his hands. A few months ago he never would have believed he’d be trying to protect a murderer. He never could have foreseen himself lying to the police, to his parents, to his friends…
Maybe Yami is a bad influence.
He’d been offended when his mother first suggested it, but now he thought she might have a point. Why else would he be condoning a sin and protecting a criminal, if he hadn’t been influenced to? If he had never met Yami and one of his friends had committed murder, would he be trying to protect them? His first thought was that yes, he would. Then he wondered if he wasn’t just thinking that to give himself an excuse to protect Yami now. Then he wondered if maybe there was some violent part of him which didn’t mind killing that he wasn’t aware of until now, considering how flippantly he was dismissing the idea.
“Ugh…” He squeezed his eyes shut. It was hell, second-guessing his own second-guesses. Was it possible to third-guess oneself?
I thought the fact that he didn’t plan it and didn’t intend to hurt them made it okay. Maybe I just wanted a reason for it to be okay. I wanted a reason to protect him.
Now he wanted to be angry. He wanted to be upset. It might hurt less if he believed that jail would atone for Yami’s crimes and would make him a better person. It was called ‘criminal justice,’ there was ‘justice’ right in the name. So in the end this was the right path. It would be a comforting thing to believe in. He wished he could.
“Yugi?”
He straightened up to the sound of Anzu’s voice and saw her walking across the roof toward him.
“Hi Anzu.”
“I thought I’d find you up here. When you didn’t come out of school I figured you were hiding.”
“You know me too well,” Yugi mumbled.
“Jounouchi and Honda wanted to come up, but I figured I should stop them. They’re not exactly tactful sometimes.”
“They mean well,” Yugi said, for lack of anything better.
“Yes, they do,” she said, settling herself beside him. “So, what’s going on?”
“Nothing.”
Anzu half-turned toward him. Her tone grew slightly more matter-of-fact. “If you think we’re just going to ignore the fact that you’re upset and moping and that something heavy is going on in your life, then you clearly don’t know us as well as you should.”
“I know you won’t ignore it,” Yugi said, smiling despite himself. “That means a lot to me, Anzu. You guys are great, but this is something you can’t fix. Yami’s in jail, nothing’s going to fix that.”
“What are they saying he did?”
“They said that he- that he killed some people,” he said quietly.
Anzu didn’t answer for a few minutes, but Yugi preferred the silence to the accusations he’d suspected that they wanted to make earlier. “We knew he was no good. We warned you he was dangerous.” Yugi didn’t want to hear it.
“Who?” Anzu finally asked.
“Some men he knew. They were homeless too; they used to come and harass him. They were attacked. One of the survivors gave up Yami’s name.”
“The same people who you fought with?”
“No.” It was the same lie he’d told his parents. He’d figured it was the safest answer. If they connected the fight with Yugi to the murders, it would give Yami an extra motive. That was the last thing he needed. The lie wasn’t so far-fetched; even if the survivor who had given up Yami’s name mentioned the fight, it would be Yugi’s word against his and the fight motive would just be dismissed.
“Do you think he did it?” Anzu asked.
Slowly, Yugi shook his head. “Yami’s not a murderer,” he said softly. “He’s not.”
She waited, but he didn’t say any more. So she straightened up and said, “Then it will be okay. If he didn’t do it, then there won’t be any evidence.”
“He must be terrified,” Yugi said, his voice suddenly shaking. “It must be awful for him, to be locked up, to be unable to get out.”
“He’ll be okay.” She patted his shoulder. “What I want to know is if you’ll be okay. You look like you’re about to collapse.”
Yugi nodded. “I will be. I…I think I’m still just in shock, that’s all. It was only just this morning. I’m sorry for worrying you.”
“Can I tell Jounouchi and Honda?”
“Sure. Just…tell them I don’t feel like answering a ton of questions, because I don’t really know anything else.”
“I’ll do that.” She got to her feet. “Thank you for telling me.”
“Thank you for caring,” he replied, managing a smile for her. The moment she turned to leave it vanished.
Murderer or not, he’d told her the truth. Yami must be terrified. He had already been having nightmares and anxiety attacks. He was as stressed out as Yugi had ever seen him, and now he was locked somewhere, with the possibility of being locked in there for the rest of his life. If simply entering a diner to meet Yugi’s friends had set him off, what would a jail cell do? And if they found him insane…well, an asylum wouldn’t be much better. Yugi had read about criminal asylums and the people in them and shuddered to think of Yami someplace like that.
Yami’s sick, he thought. But jail isn’t going to heal him. It would be torture, not justice. He’s already punishing himself in his mind. What’s done is done, it can’t be taken away. At least out here he can try to be a good person and make amends.
He knew all his rationalizations were just a bunch of excuses, but they made him feel better about what he was doing. It was no worse than continuously doubting his own thoughts and sanity.
For now, they were all he had.
- - -
Yami was drifting someplace between the present and the past. With every blink the jail cell changed. One moment he was in the crumbling school, the next in a ratty one-room apartment, the next back in the cell but surrounded by ghosts clawing at him. He finally covered his eyes, whimpering, trying to block out the images, but his brain forced them upon himself anyway, flashing inside his eyelids.
The classroom, their house, Shoua, the field of the dead, his parents, Yugi…
Through the confusion he heard a clang as the door opened. Someone yanked him to his feet by his arm. Relief at being freed from the cell flooded through him.
“This way,” the guard said, cuffing him and pulling him down the hall. Yami looked up in time to see the inside of the same interrogation room as before. An official he hadn’t met yet, this one dressed in a clean but well-worn jacket rather than a uniform or crisp suit, sat on one side of the table. Yami was seated on the other side. This time the room didn’t seem so threatening…anything was better than the cell. The man across from him, however, worried him. He had a sharp, unfriendly face.
His thoughts raced, each one interrupting the next. What should I tell them? Should I refuse to say anything? Should I just give them the alibi? Should I try not to make it too perfect? Would that be too suspicious? Should I wait until he asks or try to explain right away?
The man across the table introduced himself as detective Ren Koga. Yami steeled himself, waiting for the questions to begin. Instead, the detective leaned forward and said, “You have undoubtedly already been urged to plead guilty. I now urge you to listen to those whom told you. Showing no remorse will only make things worse for you. You’ve killed two people and permanently disabled four others. The judge could easily make this a capital trial.”
Yami could feel himself going pale. He was ready for questions, not threats.
The detective’s voice grew more encouraging. “Take this chance to unburden yourself with the stress of your crime. Show remorse, confess, and you may even be able to avoid a life sentence. We understand these men were not well-liked and have testimony from other vagrants that they used to harass you. The defense might even be able to find a sympathetic spin on the case. You may only see fifteen to twenty years.”
Years.
A single morning in a jail cell had sent him into madness. What would years in one bring?
It was that detail that clinched his decision to lie. During his moments of clarity, Yami had considered confessing. He had thought that maybe Yugi was wrong. Maybe they did have evidence. The detective certainly seemed confident. At least if he confessed they might not kill him. Now his moment of uncertainty had passed - above all else, he feared memories more than death.
“I didn’t do it,” he mumbled. “I didn’t-”
Detective Koga scowled and slammed his hand down on the table, changing tactics from friendly to harsh instantly. Yami cringed and shied away.
“You did do it,” Koga accused. “And if you refuse to admit it the consequences will be much more than they need to be.”
“But I d-didn’t- I have an alibi-”
“Stop bullshitting and just admit the truth. The more lies you tell the more unfavorably the judge will look at you. Your defense is worthless, the testimony of a family member is useless as an alibi.”
His eyes brimming with tears, Yami choked, “No, I didn’t, I’m not l-lying-”
“You’re lying! If you continue to lie then you’ll be the only one to blame when you’re standing with the hangman’s noose around your neck!”
Yami shrank back in his chair, staring up at the detective in terror. “Stop it,” he pleaded. “Stop yelling, please-”
“Not until you confess!”
Yami raised his cuffed hands to his face and clamped his fingers over his ears. “No, I didn’t do it! Just…just ask your questions, stop threatening me-”
The detective yanked his hands away, unconcerned by Yami’s feeble struggles. “I can sit here and tell you to confess all day if I have to. We don’t have to waste this time or bother with questions. I’ve heard that you seem to hate small rooms. We can get out of this room if you confess. I’ll even try to find a larger cell for you. The longer you hold out, the more you lie, the longer you’ll spend in here. I’ll find the tiniest cell we have and have them lock you in it for a very long time if you don’t plead guilty.”
“Stop!” Yami sobbed. “Leave me alone, stop yelling- I didn’t d-do anything, let me go!”
“Confess, and I will!”
The shouting had only served to set the ghosts shrieking inside his head again. In tears, he shook, deafened by yelling coming from all directions. He could shut them all up by confessing. He could get out of this room, he could get away to someplace quiet…
It had been a long day, and he was tired, and his strength was gone. The only thing he had to hold him together was knowing the consequences for the people who had protected him if he was convicted. His mother would go back to jail for faking an alibi for him and Yugi…undoubtedly he would be punished by his family for defending someone they had warned him against. He would lose Yugi if he was convicted. Nobody would wait fifteen years for someone who would be raving mad by the time he was released.
Giving in meant letting down the only family he had left and losing the only person who refused to let him go. He’d thought that could give him the strength to lie.
Now he wasn’t sure if that would be enough.
X - X - X
Notes: I sort of love this chapter in a sadistic evil way. I sort of love where this storyline is going in a sadistic evil way. I think, when it comes to Yami!angst, I’m just…really sadistic and evil. Yep.
Writing this has also made me realize (once again) how badly I bungled up police work in every single other fic I’ve written. Forgive me, Japanese law enforcement, for not doing the research before. I was a lazy noob…sadly, that’s the only excuse I have. D= It is my hope that the research I did for this one will, in some way, make up for my impertinence before. Although the research all came up less-than-favorably for the enforcement. Apparently Yami’s lucky that he’s just being yelled at. >.>
Happy Memorial Day!