[fic] Unspoken - Yugioh, YYxY, angst, PG, theme 44
Title: Unspoken
Author: Chey (duelist_gurl163)
Theme: 44 - "Tears are words the heart cannot say." for 50_lovequotes
Rating: PG
Genre: angst
Parings: YamixYugi
Archive: You're lookin' at it
Warnings: AU-ish
Spoilers: None
Summary: So this is what it means to love.
Disclaimer: Yugioh is owned by Takahashi. The inspiration for the fic comes from the song Watching Airplanes by Gary Allan.
Note: Please ignore the fact that the fic's text is a different colour than everything else. It's my Microsoft Word's fault. I'm gonna try to make it not happen again. -_-;
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Yami checked his watch, and looked off in the distance, beyond the fence, out across the long concrete expanse of runway. The jets and airplanes idling across it looked almost like toys.
Yugi’s flight left at 6:30 sharp, it was now 6:17. Surely his plane was preparing for take-off right now, perhaps it was even on the runway. But Yami was no aviation expert. He could distinguish between airlines, but among planes of the same company, one looked like all the others to him. Yugi’s could probably go right by on the tarmac and Yami would have no idea if it was his.
He looked up toward the sky, coloured gold and pink by the setting sun, as if he would find consolation there.
It’s only for a year, he reminded himself. Just a one-year student exchange. Then he’ll come home. Hundreds of students do this every year.
A jet with a red stripe zipped by, lifting off. Yami paid no attention, Yugi was flying on Japan Airlines International, this plane was a domestic airline.
Why had he volunteered to drive Yugi to the airport? Yugi’s parents or grandfather or any of his other friends could have just as easily done so. But no…Yami just had to make the offer. Perhaps this was some kind of strain of masochism.
It’s just a year…
But what if Yugi liked the US too much? What if he decided to stay and never came back?
That’s stupid, he’s only got a student visa, he can’t stay more than a year.
Visas could be renewed though.
Goddammit, mind, are you trying to make me crazy on purpose?
And then there was his continual fear…what if something bad happened to him while he was gone? What if he got in an accident? Or what if people hurt him? Or what if…
So many terrible possibilities, and each one had hundreds of variations that Yami’s mind was quick to put together. Jounouchi, the sole person that knew Yami’s secret, had not thought much of this relentless attitude.
“Yami, you can’t watch over him forever.”
“I know that, but why does he have to go so far away? What if he gets hurt, who’s going to help him?”
“He wants to. You know, sometimes, you’ve got let people you love have their freedom. And that means the freedom to go out on their own and make mistakes that might hurt them.”
It was a sad day indeed when Jounouchi was the one dishing out philosophical advice.
“But what if…”
“Yami, stop. Yugi wants to do this, he’s excited, he’s been looking forward to it. If you really love him, let him leave with the comfort of knowing that you’re happy for him. Give him that. Because if you tell him this…you know that if he thought he was hurting you, he either would feel bad, or he wouldn’t leave at all. That isn’t fair to him. I know you want to follow him and keep him safe constantly under your wing, but you can’t do that.”
Yami smacked the hood of his truck with his fist. Even in replaying the memory he knew Jounouchi was right. He could never spoil Yugi’s happiness by voicing his own wants. But why, dammit? Why couldn’t the opposite option be the “right” one instead? The option where he held onto Yugi and told him he loved him and begged him not to leave?
A Japan Airlines International jet was approaching the runway. Yami checked his watch again. 6:28.
Maybe it was Yugi’s plane, maybe it wasn’t. But what if it was? He wondered what Yugi was doing right then. Was he looking out the window? Would he perhaps see Yami sitting on the hood of his pick-up, watching as his only love vanished into the sky?
Of course Yugi wouldn’t know that Yami saw it that way.
He wondered what Yugi would think if he looked out and saw Yami chasing after the plane down the runway. Probably that Yami was crazy.
But the fence that separated the field from the runway was tall and lined with razor wire, there was no way Yami could climb it. And besides…he owed this to Yugi.
“If you really love him…”
Although Yami had been a little angry when Jounouchi blackmailed him with that phrase, he knew it was true.
So this is what it really meant to love. It didn’t mean hanging on. It didn’t mean confessing everything at a crucial moment and kissing in the moonlight. It didn’t mean happiness or joy or even peace.
Today, as the plane lifted off and disappeared safely in the distance, he knew he’d just lived the true meaning. It meant saying a polite and gentle good-bye, letting out no whisper or hint of one’s true feelings. It meant giving Yugi his blessing and sitting still and watching in silence as he had walked away toward the terminal, and hiding the tears when Yugi turned back to smile and wave one last time.
And sitting here now on the hood of a truck, alone in a field of weeds, giving in at last to sobs that screamed the words he was never supposed to say.
x-x-x
Notes:Fluffy romance is cute and adorable, but angst is just too much fun to write to ever give up. v.v
I marked this as AU-ish because it can be your choice. Totally AU, or you could just pretend it all takes place somehow after Yami gets his own body. I preferred to think of it as AU, because it just felt more right.
Not a whole lot else to say here. This was a short one. Philosophical Jounouchi is cute, I should write more of him. Fine, and I just think Yami sitting on the hood of a pick-up truck would be cute...yes I suspect he's coming after me with a shotgun again, isn't he? *hides*