Brightly Wound 05
Aiji stared at Miyavi. Miyavi stared at Aiji. One was lost for words, the other, waiting to get punched in the face again. Aiji, however, didn’t seem quite in the mood as he had ten minutes ago, his mouth slightly open as he tried to read anything on Miyavi’s face that could convince him of foolery, lies, or a badly-timed joke layered on what was soon to be either a serious break up of the band or an awkward reformation. Miyavi watched, waiting for a reaction. A question, a shout, a smile, tears, anything.
What he got was a slamming door as Aiji walked out.
“Hey!”
Miyavi rushed to catch up to him, shutting the door behind in a haste and spotting the guitarist turning down the next hallway towards the stairs.
“Wait!”
He followed him down the hallway and grabbed Aiji’s arm, which, unsurprisingly, was wrenched out his grasp as Aiji sped up. Miyavi, undeterred, met his pace as they turned down to the first level.
“Aiji… Aiji you’d better not confront him about this.”
“Why.”
It wasn’t a question, and Miyavi became uncharacteristically nervous. The studio was only a few blocks away, and if Aiji called Maya out… Miyavi felt that weight of guilt drop down in his stomach again. It would be his fault. Maya had trusted him and he had gone and told the last person Maya would want to know. True, he had been trying to improve things in the process, but now… Aiji didn’t exactly seem to be taking it the way Miyavi had hoped he would.
“Aiji, he… he doesn’t want you to know! Can you imagine how he’d feel?”
Aiji slammed the door to the lobby open, starting a few hotel patrons eating a rather late lunch. He ignored their shocked expressions, however, and made a line straight towards the front of the building and the mosaic doors that led outside.
“So, you’re telling me that Aiji would rather want you to know? And not me?”
Miyavi tried to keep in time with his strides, but it was difficult due to the combined effort of sending apologetic looks at the hotel residents, worrying about what would happen in a few minutes’ time when Aiji would bust open the doors to the studio, and still trying to put up a good argument. To his frustration, his attempts at all of these seemed to be failing. He grasped at Aiji again, desperate.
“Well,” Miyavi tried to reason, “How would you feel if you were in his position?”
Aiji’s step faltered only slightly, as if he meant to stop and say something, but he decided against it and stepped out onto the pavement, not bothering to hold the door for Miyavi as he turned and headed down the street towards the studio.
“I wouldn’t know. I’ve never had sex with somebody only to pretend it was someone else.”
“Aiji, please!” Miyavi gasped, tugging on Aiji’s shirt again. “Please, this will break him!”
When he got no response, Miyavi groaned and ran a hand through his hair, clearly agitated. “I thought you said you wanted to protect him!”
Aiji did stop at these words, turning around and facing Miyavi with a look of absolute loathing.
“Look. I’m going to talk to Maya right now. If there’s something he wants to say to me, he can do it himself. He doesn’t need people like you to go between and get him mixed up all over again; you have no clue what is good for him, or how much trouble you’re causing.”
Miyavi, annoyed, frustrated, and at a loss of what to do, shot back, “Well, according to what I’ve seen, you have no idea what he needs either.”
Another sharp burst of pain and he felt his back hit the hard concrete ground. He blinked rapidly, wincing and trying to process what just happened before he felt his mouth throbbing in pain again. His jaw ached from being hit twice in the same place, and he groaned, feeling Aiji’s shadow above him.
“Seriously Aiji? I know you’re jealous, but I really don’t think I’ve done anything wrong.”
Aiji kneeled down beside him, and Miyavi attempted to meet his eyes through the white stars that were still hovering before them.
“Miyavi-san, listen. I know what’s going on. Do you think I’m that blind? I know what you’re trying to do, and I know that you’re intentions are for the best, but I need to talk to Maya, and I would appreciate it if you didn’t hinder me anymore. Surely you can understand that?" he paused, scanning the area for pedistrians. "Now get up, before someone recognizes you.”
Miyavi did as he was told, surprised to feel Aiji giving him a hand to support himself. “What’re you going to say to him?” he mumbled, shaking his head to clear it.
“I don’t know.” Aiji answered, his tone so sullen that Miyavi couldn’t help but believe him.
---
“Aiji-kun! There you--”
Maya paused, his eyes raking over the sight of Miyavi and growing wider.
“Oh, fuck! Miyavi, what happened? Did you get mugged? Shit, that-- hang on, I’ll call the nurse. The technicians just left for a break, but I can get someone--”
“Maya,” Aiji started, leading Miyavi to a couch and letting him sit down on it while Miyavi put a hand up to his head, wincing. “He didn’t get mugged. It’s okay. You don’t have to call anyone.”
Maya walked over, standing next to Aiji and examining the fully formed bruise on Miyavi’s cheekbone. “Not mugged? Then what the hell happened?”
No one answered, and Miyavi looked away, figuring that if Aiji got himself into this mess, he could get himself out without any help on his part. Maya, however, was looking from Aiji to Miyavi, his concerned face turning more and more curious until it finally registered, and his eyes landed on Aiji and grew wide.
“You didn’t.”
“Maya, I--”
“Aiji! What the fuck?!”
“Maya, listen, it’s not--”
But Maya ignored him, running a hand through his hair as turned away from Aiji and looked down at Miyavi.
“Are you okay?”
Miyavi shifted, wishing they wouldn’t yell so much, as it was making his headache worse. “Yeah. I’m good. You just keep…” he made a fist with his hand and motioned carelessly to Aiji, who glared.
“Aiji,” Maya said, looking back, “What the hell were you thinking? What did he do? I know you don’t like him, but--”
“He was being a smart ass, Maya!” Aiji reasoned, gesturing hopelessly at Miyavi. “He deserved it!”
“I’m a smart ass all the time, but you don’t bruise up my face!”
“He deserved it, Maya!” Aiji was growing more and more agitated; clearly, this wasn’t going as he had hoped, and the sight of Maya ganged up against him was making him feel imprudent and childish. Maya was still yelling, and Miyavi could see Aiji’s fingers twitching, knowing he was going to crack.
“How on earth could he deserve that? He barely--”
“I heard him fucking you!”
Aiji immediately shut his mouth, his eyes horrified, and Miyavi knew that was exactly what he meant not to say. Maya, on the other hand, blushed a deep red and let out a small, barely audible gasp. Miyavi sat absolutely still, watching the two and waiting for the inevitable fall.
“Maya,” Aiji gasped, his voice deep in shock and regret. “Oh, god, Maya, I didn’t mean to say it like that. I know you didn’t, I just… I’m so… upset about it, I can’t--”
“You’re right,” Maya said lightly. “We didn’t fuck. But, I… I’m sorry you had to hear it, Aiji. I am. ...It’s something I never wanted.”
Aiji swallowed. “Miyavi. Miyavi told me…”
He couldn’t find a proper way to finish his sentence, to tell Maya exactly what brought him back here so soon and made his heart beat so quickly, but Maya seemed to guess it anyway. His face flushed even more, and he bowed his head, looking shamed and biting his lip. Miyavi, still silent, cursed himself at the look Maya had on his face. So sad, so beautiful, so broken.
There was a silence, and Miyavi feared another walkout from Aiji, but instead, the guitarist shifted, giving a small sigh as he watched Maya drowning in his own regret. Aiji, sensing the need Maya had, stepped closer and ran his thumb over Maya’s cheek, lifting his head up so they could meet eyes, and the vocalist shivered.
“Maya… why didn’t you tell me?”
Maya sighed into touch and closed his eyes, assuring himself it was real. “Oh, come on, Aiji,” he said softly. “We’re bandmates. There’s so many things that can go wrong.” He placed his hand gently over Aiji’s, knowing this may be his only chance to show affection for a long time. “I mean, honestly, would you have told me?”
Aiji smiled, gently pushing some of the blonde strands out of Maya’s face, and Miyavi held his breath. Sure Aiji wouldn’t turn him away. Surely he couldn’t. Aiji moved closer until their bodies were touching more intimately then they had ever been, and he leaned down to whisper in Maya’s ear.
“Honestly? I still haven’t.”
Maya looked up, confused, and was met with Aiji’s lips on his own. The feeling was more than he imagined, more than he’d ever experienced, and he couldn’t remember wanting anything more than this moment, this kiss, this man. He moaned despite himself and wrapped his arms around his guitarist, pulling him in even closer. Aiji seemed slightly taken aback, but allowed Maya to take control of the kiss for several seconds before pulling them apart gently.
“Maya…”
He had nothing to say, and yet so many things were pouring through his mind. Maya was just watching him, his usual smile hitched back into place along with an expectant gaze, as if he were waiting for some profound announcement of love or dedication. Aiji, however, felt at a loss of words, and an uncommon yet not uncomfortable silence hung between them, soon broken, as always, by Maya.
“Does this mean I don’t have to pretend anymore?”
Aiji smiled, placing his hands around Maya’s waist and pressing their foreheads together. “I thought you liked role-playing?”
Maya snorted and kissed Aiji gently, his voice laced with sarcasm. “As if I’m not everything you’ve ever wanted.”
“OKAY!” Miyavi cried, throwing his hands up and turning Aiji and Maya’s attention over towards the couch, where he was getting up. “I wouldn’t have minded watching if you two were going to get it on, but an afternoon of sappy wordplay is not for me. Sorry kiddies.”
Maya laughed as Miyavi opened the door to let himself out, and called to his friends retreating back, “Hey, stay in the area though! I want you to join us when we go out to eat tonight.”
“We’re going out to eat tonight?” Aiji questioned, and Maya turned back towards him, giving him a rather reproachful look.
“Well yes. I don’t think it’s proper to bang you without at least buying you dinner first.”
“Ah,” Aiji smiled and nodded, turning back to the door with the intention of speaking to Miyavi once more before he left back to the hotel, but the soloist had already left, closing the door behind him to give them privacy.
“I’ll be right back,” he told Maya, and the blonde nodded, understanding immediately. Aiji bolted towards the door and caught sight of Miyavi heading back down the hallway to the back entrance he had first come through.
“Miyavi, wait!”
Miyavi halted and turned, waiting patiently for Aiji to catch up.
“What, miss me already?” he laughed as Aiji approached him, his eyes sparkling in that mischievously manner they had grown accustomed to.
“You wish,” Aiji countered, smirking, but he composed himself quickly and his tone changed. “Look, Miyavi, I wanted to…apologize. I shouldn’t have yelled at you--”
“--you shouldn’t have hit me, either--”
Aiji glared playfully, and Miyavi shut up to listen.
“So, I’m sorry,” Aiji started again, rather lamely after losing his focus. “If it wasn’t for you, I guess… well, I guess Maya would never had said anything to me, and I would… I would just keep fooling myself. So, I’m sorry, again. Sorry, and thank you.”
Miyavi leaned in and smiled, placing his hand affectionately on Aiji‘s shoulder. “You can buy me drinks tonight, and we’ll call it even. But for now, isn’t there a pretty little blonde you should be banging?”
Aiji made a noise somewhere between a laugh and an shocked intake of breath, but smiled nonetheless as his eyes matched the mischievous glint of Miyavi’s.
“Looks like we’re finally on the same page, Miyavi-sama.”
What he got was a slamming door as Aiji walked out.
“Hey!”
Miyavi rushed to catch up to him, shutting the door behind in a haste and spotting the guitarist turning down the next hallway towards the stairs.
“Wait!”
He followed him down the hallway and grabbed Aiji’s arm, which, unsurprisingly, was wrenched out his grasp as Aiji sped up. Miyavi, undeterred, met his pace as they turned down to the first level.
“Aiji… Aiji you’d better not confront him about this.”
“Why.”
It wasn’t a question, and Miyavi became uncharacteristically nervous. The studio was only a few blocks away, and if Aiji called Maya out… Miyavi felt that weight of guilt drop down in his stomach again. It would be his fault. Maya had trusted him and he had gone and told the last person Maya would want to know. True, he had been trying to improve things in the process, but now… Aiji didn’t exactly seem to be taking it the way Miyavi had hoped he would.
“Aiji, he… he doesn’t want you to know! Can you imagine how he’d feel?”
Aiji slammed the door to the lobby open, starting a few hotel patrons eating a rather late lunch. He ignored their shocked expressions, however, and made a line straight towards the front of the building and the mosaic doors that led outside.
“So, you’re telling me that Aiji would rather want you to know? And not me?”
Miyavi tried to keep in time with his strides, but it was difficult due to the combined effort of sending apologetic looks at the hotel residents, worrying about what would happen in a few minutes’ time when Aiji would bust open the doors to the studio, and still trying to put up a good argument. To his frustration, his attempts at all of these seemed to be failing. He grasped at Aiji again, desperate.
“Well,” Miyavi tried to reason, “How would you feel if you were in his position?”
Aiji’s step faltered only slightly, as if he meant to stop and say something, but he decided against it and stepped out onto the pavement, not bothering to hold the door for Miyavi as he turned and headed down the street towards the studio.
“I wouldn’t know. I’ve never had sex with somebody only to pretend it was someone else.”
“Aiji, please!” Miyavi gasped, tugging on Aiji’s shirt again. “Please, this will break him!”
When he got no response, Miyavi groaned and ran a hand through his hair, clearly agitated. “I thought you said you wanted to protect him!”
Aiji did stop at these words, turning around and facing Miyavi with a look of absolute loathing.
“Look. I’m going to talk to Maya right now. If there’s something he wants to say to me, he can do it himself. He doesn’t need people like you to go between and get him mixed up all over again; you have no clue what is good for him, or how much trouble you’re causing.”
Miyavi, annoyed, frustrated, and at a loss of what to do, shot back, “Well, according to what I’ve seen, you have no idea what he needs either.”
Another sharp burst of pain and he felt his back hit the hard concrete ground. He blinked rapidly, wincing and trying to process what just happened before he felt his mouth throbbing in pain again. His jaw ached from being hit twice in the same place, and he groaned, feeling Aiji’s shadow above him.
“Seriously Aiji? I know you’re jealous, but I really don’t think I’ve done anything wrong.”
Aiji kneeled down beside him, and Miyavi attempted to meet his eyes through the white stars that were still hovering before them.
“Miyavi-san, listen. I know what’s going on. Do you think I’m that blind? I know what you’re trying to do, and I know that you’re intentions are for the best, but I need to talk to Maya, and I would appreciate it if you didn’t hinder me anymore. Surely you can understand that?" he paused, scanning the area for pedistrians. "Now get up, before someone recognizes you.”
Miyavi did as he was told, surprised to feel Aiji giving him a hand to support himself. “What’re you going to say to him?” he mumbled, shaking his head to clear it.
“I don’t know.” Aiji answered, his tone so sullen that Miyavi couldn’t help but believe him.
---
“Aiji-kun! There you--”
Maya paused, his eyes raking over the sight of Miyavi and growing wider.
“Oh, fuck! Miyavi, what happened? Did you get mugged? Shit, that-- hang on, I’ll call the nurse. The technicians just left for a break, but I can get someone--”
“Maya,” Aiji started, leading Miyavi to a couch and letting him sit down on it while Miyavi put a hand up to his head, wincing. “He didn’t get mugged. It’s okay. You don’t have to call anyone.”
Maya walked over, standing next to Aiji and examining the fully formed bruise on Miyavi’s cheekbone. “Not mugged? Then what the hell happened?”
No one answered, and Miyavi looked away, figuring that if Aiji got himself into this mess, he could get himself out without any help on his part. Maya, however, was looking from Aiji to Miyavi, his concerned face turning more and more curious until it finally registered, and his eyes landed on Aiji and grew wide.
“You didn’t.”
“Maya, I--”
“Aiji! What the fuck?!”
“Maya, listen, it’s not--”
But Maya ignored him, running a hand through his hair as turned away from Aiji and looked down at Miyavi.
“Are you okay?”
Miyavi shifted, wishing they wouldn’t yell so much, as it was making his headache worse. “Yeah. I’m good. You just keep…” he made a fist with his hand and motioned carelessly to Aiji, who glared.
“Aiji,” Maya said, looking back, “What the hell were you thinking? What did he do? I know you don’t like him, but--”
“He was being a smart ass, Maya!” Aiji reasoned, gesturing hopelessly at Miyavi. “He deserved it!”
“I’m a smart ass all the time, but you don’t bruise up my face!”
“He deserved it, Maya!” Aiji was growing more and more agitated; clearly, this wasn’t going as he had hoped, and the sight of Maya ganged up against him was making him feel imprudent and childish. Maya was still yelling, and Miyavi could see Aiji’s fingers twitching, knowing he was going to crack.
“How on earth could he deserve that? He barely--”
“I heard him fucking you!”
Aiji immediately shut his mouth, his eyes horrified, and Miyavi knew that was exactly what he meant not to say. Maya, on the other hand, blushed a deep red and let out a small, barely audible gasp. Miyavi sat absolutely still, watching the two and waiting for the inevitable fall.
“Maya,” Aiji gasped, his voice deep in shock and regret. “Oh, god, Maya, I didn’t mean to say it like that. I know you didn’t, I just… I’m so… upset about it, I can’t--”
“You’re right,” Maya said lightly. “We didn’t fuck. But, I… I’m sorry you had to hear it, Aiji. I am. ...It’s something I never wanted.”
Aiji swallowed. “Miyavi. Miyavi told me…”
He couldn’t find a proper way to finish his sentence, to tell Maya exactly what brought him back here so soon and made his heart beat so quickly, but Maya seemed to guess it anyway. His face flushed even more, and he bowed his head, looking shamed and biting his lip. Miyavi, still silent, cursed himself at the look Maya had on his face. So sad, so beautiful, so broken.
There was a silence, and Miyavi feared another walkout from Aiji, but instead, the guitarist shifted, giving a small sigh as he watched Maya drowning in his own regret. Aiji, sensing the need Maya had, stepped closer and ran his thumb over Maya’s cheek, lifting his head up so they could meet eyes, and the vocalist shivered.
“Maya… why didn’t you tell me?”
Maya sighed into touch and closed his eyes, assuring himself it was real. “Oh, come on, Aiji,” he said softly. “We’re bandmates. There’s so many things that can go wrong.” He placed his hand gently over Aiji’s, knowing this may be his only chance to show affection for a long time. “I mean, honestly, would you have told me?”
Aiji smiled, gently pushing some of the blonde strands out of Maya’s face, and Miyavi held his breath. Sure Aiji wouldn’t turn him away. Surely he couldn’t. Aiji moved closer until their bodies were touching more intimately then they had ever been, and he leaned down to whisper in Maya’s ear.
“Honestly? I still haven’t.”
Maya looked up, confused, and was met with Aiji’s lips on his own. The feeling was more than he imagined, more than he’d ever experienced, and he couldn’t remember wanting anything more than this moment, this kiss, this man. He moaned despite himself and wrapped his arms around his guitarist, pulling him in even closer. Aiji seemed slightly taken aback, but allowed Maya to take control of the kiss for several seconds before pulling them apart gently.
“Maya…”
He had nothing to say, and yet so many things were pouring through his mind. Maya was just watching him, his usual smile hitched back into place along with an expectant gaze, as if he were waiting for some profound announcement of love or dedication. Aiji, however, felt at a loss of words, and an uncommon yet not uncomfortable silence hung between them, soon broken, as always, by Maya.
“Does this mean I don’t have to pretend anymore?”
Aiji smiled, placing his hands around Maya’s waist and pressing their foreheads together. “I thought you liked role-playing?”
Maya snorted and kissed Aiji gently, his voice laced with sarcasm. “As if I’m not everything you’ve ever wanted.”
“OKAY!” Miyavi cried, throwing his hands up and turning Aiji and Maya’s attention over towards the couch, where he was getting up. “I wouldn’t have minded watching if you two were going to get it on, but an afternoon of sappy wordplay is not for me. Sorry kiddies.”
Maya laughed as Miyavi opened the door to let himself out, and called to his friends retreating back, “Hey, stay in the area though! I want you to join us when we go out to eat tonight.”
“We’re going out to eat tonight?” Aiji questioned, and Maya turned back towards him, giving him a rather reproachful look.
“Well yes. I don’t think it’s proper to bang you without at least buying you dinner first.”
“Ah,” Aiji smiled and nodded, turning back to the door with the intention of speaking to Miyavi once more before he left back to the hotel, but the soloist had already left, closing the door behind him to give them privacy.
“I’ll be right back,” he told Maya, and the blonde nodded, understanding immediately. Aiji bolted towards the door and caught sight of Miyavi heading back down the hallway to the back entrance he had first come through.
“Miyavi, wait!”
Miyavi halted and turned, waiting patiently for Aiji to catch up.
“What, miss me already?” he laughed as Aiji approached him, his eyes sparkling in that mischievously manner they had grown accustomed to.
“You wish,” Aiji countered, smirking, but he composed himself quickly and his tone changed. “Look, Miyavi, I wanted to…apologize. I shouldn’t have yelled at you--”
“--you shouldn’t have hit me, either--”
Aiji glared playfully, and Miyavi shut up to listen.
“So, I’m sorry,” Aiji started again, rather lamely after losing his focus. “If it wasn’t for you, I guess… well, I guess Maya would never had said anything to me, and I would… I would just keep fooling myself. So, I’m sorry, again. Sorry, and thank you.”
Miyavi leaned in and smiled, placing his hand affectionately on Aiji‘s shoulder. “You can buy me drinks tonight, and we’ll call it even. But for now, isn’t there a pretty little blonde you should be banging?”
Aiji made a noise somewhere between a laugh and an shocked intake of breath, but smiled nonetheless as his eyes matched the mischievous glint of Miyavi’s.
“Looks like we’re finally on the same page, Miyavi-sama.”