Last of the Hudson family Drama
Well it finally happened. I got a phone call from my aunt the day after christmas. She wanted to know how I could leave town without calling or seeing my grandma. First of all, I haven't talked to them since the day of my father's funeral, over a year ago. Secondly do you think something might be wrong???? I haven't talked to you or called you or wrote you in over a year. Then something is probably wrong. I mean multiple family holidays have passed. Wow do these people live in denial. But I didn't say anything. I told her istead that I never wanted to speak to her again. She said that was fine but I should see my grandma, I then told her you don't understand I never want to speak to any of you ever again. I told you at the funeral I was done. That this conversation was over and Goodbye. I then hung up, handed the phone to my husband and took an anxiety pill because I was shaking badly and having trouble with my heart racing. The day had finally come that I dreaded, and I was determined to put it behind me. She called back and my husband kicked it to voicemail. She left a very ugly message that showed just how small and petty she really is. I'm actually kind of proud of myself. I kept my composure, I didn't raise my voice or argue, or cry or stress out. In fact when I listend to the voice mail today I was able to shake my head and laugh. She really is clueless and it's sad, but unchangeable. They don't think they've done anything wrong.
I called my sisters today hoping to warn them of potential fall out. I was too late. Yesterday my pregnant youguest sister got an earful. Jamie stood her ground as well. She told my aunt to let it go, and that if she couldn't she could go upstairs until she could. My grandmother has forbidden use of my name. *shrug* The only way these people deal with the world is through denial and anger. That's ok by me. I'm no longer pulled into it, I'm learning to be emotionally healthy. As well as not putting myself through all the physical ills that get to me because of the stress and anxiety. I'm sure my other sister has heard more than she wanted to as well. I'm expecting some fall out from her, I've told them both that they aren't responsible for my decisions. I've made the decision and not to let others take it out on them. Just remind them that they aren't responsible and can't change my mind. Hopefully they will remember that and use it. Jamie is trying to. I figure that the aunt in particualar who broke the straw as it were, is getting wise to the fact people might not continue to forgive and forget everything she says or does. She might be help accountable for those deeds, I doubt Grandma will see it that way ever. To her I've done the unforgivable by not forgiving. Soon I'll post the voice mail my aunt left, and probably refute her claims point by point. More just to put it into archives to remind me of how far I've come and what I never want to become for my kids. I really hope my yougest sister can break the cycle and minimize thier impact on her child. I'd hate for another generation to be as screwed up as we were. Well that's all for now. Unless someone has ideas on how I can post the voicemail to live journal???
Oh and christmas was ok. Thanksgiving was better. I got to spend some time with my sisters and my uncle Mike and his family. We got to see the house he has been renovating and it looks really good. In the spring he's going to help my sister with my dad's place. It needs lots of work, so if anyone is available to help let me know. It's the only place we've got and the floors are falling out. I want to know my sisters always have a roof over thier head and a place to go. My dad worked hard for that. I know he'd be proud of how we're trying to be there for each other, though I also know he's none to pleased with what things have come to with relations. *shrug* If I need to explain when I see him again,then so be it. I've made the best decision I could. Gods am I grateful for my real family ( you guys) I would not have been the person I am today without you. Hope you all had joyful holidays, and may the New Year bring you joys to last a lifetime.
Aieraelyn
I called my sisters today hoping to warn them of potential fall out. I was too late. Yesterday my pregnant youguest sister got an earful. Jamie stood her ground as well. She told my aunt to let it go, and that if she couldn't she could go upstairs until she could. My grandmother has forbidden use of my name. *shrug* The only way these people deal with the world is through denial and anger. That's ok by me. I'm no longer pulled into it, I'm learning to be emotionally healthy. As well as not putting myself through all the physical ills that get to me because of the stress and anxiety. I'm sure my other sister has heard more than she wanted to as well. I'm expecting some fall out from her, I've told them both that they aren't responsible for my decisions. I've made the decision and not to let others take it out on them. Just remind them that they aren't responsible and can't change my mind. Hopefully they will remember that and use it. Jamie is trying to. I figure that the aunt in particualar who broke the straw as it were, is getting wise to the fact people might not continue to forgive and forget everything she says or does. She might be help accountable for those deeds, I doubt Grandma will see it that way ever. To her I've done the unforgivable by not forgiving. Soon I'll post the voice mail my aunt left, and probably refute her claims point by point. More just to put it into archives to remind me of how far I've come and what I never want to become for my kids. I really hope my yougest sister can break the cycle and minimize thier impact on her child. I'd hate for another generation to be as screwed up as we were. Well that's all for now. Unless someone has ideas on how I can post the voicemail to live journal???
Oh and christmas was ok. Thanksgiving was better. I got to spend some time with my sisters and my uncle Mike and his family. We got to see the house he has been renovating and it looks really good. In the spring he's going to help my sister with my dad's place. It needs lots of work, so if anyone is available to help let me know. It's the only place we've got and the floors are falling out. I want to know my sisters always have a roof over thier head and a place to go. My dad worked hard for that. I know he'd be proud of how we're trying to be there for each other, though I also know he's none to pleased with what things have come to with relations. *shrug* If I need to explain when I see him again,then so be it. I've made the best decision I could. Gods am I grateful for my real family ( you guys) I would not have been the person I am today without you. Hope you all had joyful holidays, and may the New Year bring you joys to last a lifetime.
Aieraelyn