Progressive
Title: Progressive
Author: Me (aidorruuu)
Pairing: Matsumoto Kohei x Inoo Kei
Genre: Friendship, fluff
Rating: PG
Summary: How their relationship slowly evolves from friends, to strangers, to friends, and then finally, to lovers.
A/N: Summary is never my thing, really.
Present time, 2014
Inoo Kei is worried.
Although the interviewer, a middle-aged woman with black hair and thick glasses with a perpetually big grin on her face, didn’t notice how worried he is, he is currently unbearably anxious. He keeps on tapping his shoes against the floor (which attracts the members’ attentions ninety-percent of the time), checking his watch over and over, and even accidentally clicking his tongue rather loudly when he noticed that the interviewer won’t stop asking anytime soon. He could only be silently thanking the Gods up there that she did not hear it, or notice the worry painted on his face.
This is probably one of the biggest torture in his life, to be forced to sit here, in the interview room, somewhere he does not enjoy being in-not for today, at least, pretending that he’s honored to be ask thousands of insignificant questions and fake a smile each passing second when all he wanted to do is just to dash out of this place, doing the things that he should be doing today, the things that are more important to him. It took a lot of self-restraint to not just flee. But he reminds himself in his head every time the thought pass by. This is your job. This is what you have to do. If you run away here, it would leave not only a bad impression, but it might also disappoint your fans, and thus, ruining your whole career. The magazine’s impossible speculations might also cause rumors and scandals alike. You should hold yourself. This is what you have to do. This is exactly what he usually wants you to do.
And so, with all his fighting spirit, he managed to hold his urges. But even so, right after the interviewer claimed that they are (finally) done, he immediately stands from his seat, ignoring the questioning glances the others are throwing him, and rush to pack his things, which are, unfortunately, thrown messily and would definitely take more than a minute to tidy up. Holding back the urge to sigh, he throw his things into his bag messily, not caring the fact that he might break some things inside, and even bothering to check whether the bottle of water he thrown earlier is already properly closed or not. Mumbling under his breath, he stood up, checking his phone to make sure that he could still make it there without being too late.
“You’re acting weird today.” Turning around and lifting his gaze from his phone, Inoo could see Yabu raising an eyebrow at him. “Is everything fine?”
Inoo wanted to shout that no, nothing is fine. The sudden change of the interview schedule is not fine. Still not being on his way there when it’s already two hours pass the time they agreed on is not fine. The fact that his best-friend is not replying to his text message from hours earlier is not fine. Being late on a very special day is definitely not fine. But he knows, throwing a tantrum here, when there’s a risk that someone would be listening to their conversation-the interviewer is still in the room, after all-is even more ‘not-fine’ that what he previously enlisted. It would be dangerous. It can cause a horrible scandal. So after putting that into consideration, he put on a fake grin and answered. “It’s fine~. I’m just a little bit late for something, I guess.”
Hikaru, who have been listening to the conversation and is actually one of the first to notice Inoo’s odd acts, threw him a meaningful nod. “It’s that day today, isn’t it?” When he sees the grin on Inoo’s face fading slightly, he knew that he hit the jackpot. “Say, how late are you anyway?”
Inoo shrugged while walking fast-paced to the exit of the building along with Yabu and Hikaru. Thankfully, they are fast enough to pack their things, so he’s not the only one getting out earlier (since the others are so slow). “Two hours… probably…” looking away from the disbelieving stare his best friends are throwing him, he retaliate. “It’s not like it’s my choice to be this late!”
“You should be glad that it’s only a fifteen minute walk from here.” Yabu shook his head.
“Ten if you run with your normal running pace.” Hikaru continued. “Six to seven minutes if you run like your life depends on it. Considering how much of a special day it is today and how long have you been late, I suggest you run like the whole world’s sake depends on it, which will take only five minutes. So rather than walking here like you’re so free, I suggest you run.”
Hikaru is being serious about this.
And if he is being serious and so out of his usual character, that only means that Inoo is in deep shit.
And so Inoo run.
----
Nine years ago, 2005
“Ne, Macchan…” The fifteen year old Inoo Kei started, staring at his so-called best friend with a hesitating look. Unlike usual, the Ya-Ya-Yah backstage is quiet, with no juniors running amok, preparing for dances. Not even the core members were there. It was silent, with only the two of them inside it. “Are you sure this is the right choice?”
Kohei smiled at him a little, his head nodding. He wanted to give Inoo something other than this. He wanted to assure the younger boy that this is not the end, that he will be fine, that he had thought this over and over before he made the final, and unmistakably ultimate decision. But unfortunately, all Kohei could do was to give him a small, not-so-steady smile, and he hated himself for being so indecisive. Even now, he’s still wavering, especially when he saw the way Inoo’s eyes seems to glimmer with unshed tears. “Why are you so sad anyway?” He stated, ignoring how close Inoo is to him right now and how utterly adorable the boy looks being all hopeless. “It’s not like we wouldn’t be able to meet anymore. Just because I’m quitting Johnny’s doesn’t mean we can’t be friends, right?”
Giving his best-friend his killer pout, Inoo sighed and looked away. Although Kohei had a point, he still doubts that they could be as close as they are now. They could still be friends, surely, but the bond will surely not be this strong. Despite being so inseparable to each other now, they meet each other most at the Jimusho and the Ya-Ya-Yah studio. If Kohei quits, then the time they have with each other will be reduced by a noticeable amount, something that he’s not looking forward to. “Why do you have to quit anyway?”
“There are a lot of things that I want to do,” Kohei started, playing with the ends of his shirt randomly, avoiding the extremely adorable pout Inoo is giving him. “Things that I could not do when I’m here. And I want to focus on my studies first. Being an idol is fun and all, but as you know, you can’t rely on it forever to keep you living.” And I want to properly erase this feeling of liking you as well is what he wanted to add, but that would make him look like a freak, so he stopped himself from saying it. “As you grow older, you get lesser jobs. The fresh image of idols is what they’re looking for, after all.”
Knowing that he could not change his best friend’s decision, he sighed and stay silent, enjoying his last few days of being with him inside the comfort of the silent studio, wishing that this will really not be the end of their friendship.
----Seven years ago, 2007
Unfortunately for both Inoo and Kohei, their wishes didn’t come true.
At first, both tried their best to contact each other, texting each other and phoning at night-the time when they are both free-as best as they could. But after a while, Inoo got more jobs to do, especially after he got into high school. Kohei’s assignments in school made it impossible for them to contact each other. The only time when they talk long enough between the two years was probably when Kusano Hironori, their senior in Johnny’s, was kicked out of the agency at 2006. Both were close to him, since he is a senior to them, and since he’s older, he also taught both a lot of things. The fact that nobody believed him that he didn’t do anything wrong hit him hard, and they tried hard to cheer him up for a while. After a while, however, both notice that their attempts are in vain and continue with their lives.
They ultimately stop contacting each other, however, when Inoo debuted as one of the ten members of Hey! Say! JUMP. With all his works piling up and school projects and personal matters, it has become almost impossible for him to contact Kohei. Slowly but steadily, he starts to forget Kohei. It’s not intentional, but he just couldn’t fit in the time. Each time he accidentally remembers Kohei, he would cringe, hating himself for being such a horrible friend. But really, what could he do? He knows this all along. He knows that there will be a time where they would be unattached from one another. And no matter how hard they tried, they couldn’t really avoid fate, now could they?
And so, their friendship ends slowly and subtly to the world, but hard enough to make an impact for both.
----Present time, 2014
Stepping out from his fairly-sized apartment, Kohei greeted the not-so-clear sky with his brightest smile, even though it’s not exactly the perfect day to be happy. Holding the umbrella in his hand, he used his other one to close the door and locking it. Even if the sky is not bright, or a storm is raging outside, today is the day where he must go there. It is a sacred part for them, a ritual that must never be missed. He was about to walk away to the place of their meeting, until a voice stops him.
“Going somewhere, Matsumoto-kun?” The clear voice of his neighbor and also closest female friend reached his ears as he turns around to face her. Miyazawa Kana, a twenty-four year old doctor in training, has been in the apartment beside his even way from before he moved in. She was merely a college student when he first came. She’s dressed as she usually does when she wanted to go to the hospital for work, her black hair tied up in a neat bun. She’s shorter than him by a few inches, but the heels in her boots made her look way taller than she should be. Her right hand is holding his medium-sized bag, filled with ultimate necessities and medical books. “Meeting up with him?”
He nodded, walking beside her to the station. They’re going to the same direction after all, so it wouldn’t hurt to walk with your friend, right? “Yeah, how did you guess?”
She grinned, nudging his side mischievously. “Of course I’d notice.” Exclaiming that with a hint of pride within her voice, Kana could not stop herself from chuckling a little. “You look a lot neater than you usually look. I’ve been your friend for some years now, I should at least notice these small things.” Throwing him another soft smile, she continued. “You’re sure lucky to be able to meet him a lot, eh? I wish I could be the same…”
Kohei knows that, despite how cheerful and bubbly Kana may look, she’s actually very sensitive when the relationship topics are brought in. Currently in a long distant relationship with her childhood best friend who’s studying in German, she constantly worries and fret about him, wondering whether he’s eating correctly since he tends to overwork himself, or if he just met another girl who is way hotter and richer and more success than her, so Kohei knows that he needs to be careful choosing his words. “We’re not even dating, you know.”
The smirk showed up on her face again as she replied. “But you’d love to, right?”
He just shrugged carelessly, not caring to respond to the question. He doesn’t really know how to answer, anyway. They stayed like that for the whole journey, Kana teasing him and Kohei purposefully avoiding some of her questions. Thankfully, he doesn’t have to go through the torture for too long, since his destination is closer than hers. Hurriedly running to the place, he took a deep breath as he stared at the tombstone before him.
One in the middle of countless amounts of other tombstones in the graveyard, is exactly the place where he must visit every year, to memorize the time they had together as juniors, when he’s still in Johnny’s. The good old times. Reading the name written in Kanji letters there, he could remember his face years ago as a cheerful, hyper, and hilarious member of News.
Kusano Hironori.
Kneeling before the grave, he sent his best regards and prayers to his senior. Opening his eyes after a while, Kohei tilt his head sideways. “Weird…” mumbling, he checked the time and saw that it has pass fifteen minutes from their promised meeting time. “He’s not here yet…” searching for his phone in his pocket, he suddenly remembered that he forgot to bring his phone and left it beside his TV in the apartment. Shrugging, he eyed the tombstone for another second before exclaiming his thoughts. “Well, I guess I just have to wait.”
And so, without knowing the circumstances, Kohei patiently waits.
----
Six years ago, 2008.
The news was a shock to everyone that knows him.
Kusano Hironori, after two years of being kicked out from the Johnny’s, committed suicide at the age of twenty. The news itself was disclosed from the media, but his best-friends heard it from his family. Apparently, the reason why he decided to take his life, was not only because he was kicked out, but also for the framing. He begins to think that no one in this world believes his words, not even his parents, who gaze at him with disappointed eyes each day. His friends, the ones he used to believe so much, turned their backs at him for apparently no particular reason, but Kusano accidentally hear that they did not want to be friends with a loser. It was unbearable, to see the whole world turn their backs at you, and it was impossible for him to cope with. Sooner or later, the burdens, the pain, it became overwhelming, and unable to do anything else, he took the quick escape road and hung himself to run away.
Inoo Kei, who is now having a smooth, debuting career as a member of Hey! Say! JUMP, was hit hard with the news. Even if the press does not know it, even if his fans did not notice, Kusano was one of the closest senior to him. It saddens him, deeply so, to accept the news and go on with his life. He felt guilty, for not being there for his friend when he needs a shoulder to lean on the most. Although unintentionally, he might be one of the worst, for abandoning his friend without another word. As far as he knows it, he might be one of the reasons why Kusano decided to take his life. He was never there when the older man needed him the most. And even worse, he could not come to the funeral ceremony due to the mountainous load of works. The shame of not being able to make time for his friend was too overwhelming, so he did not dare to meet Kusano’s parents for a long while, deciding to pay his late friend a visit only when there is nobody doing so.
Two and a half weeks after the funeral, Inoo finally found time between his hectic schedule, so he decided, better late than never, and visited the graveyard of Kusano. After praying for a few while for him, Inoo stared at the tombstone for a while, swallowing the guilt and the shame as a whole. With each passing second, he’s reminded of the bright smiling face of Kusano, the way he laughs most of the times, his friendliness with both juniors and seniors, and Inoo ended up asking the same question over and over again. Why must such a pure soul be condemned of such thing?
He drowned himself in his thoughts, not moving even a single inch from his position, asking the same question over and over to himself. He was so engrossed with his own thoughts that he did not notice the sounds of footsteps behind him, enclosing the gap between them. Inoo was, however, woken up rudely from his trance due to the voice from behind him. “…Kei?”
Inoo’s head jerked upward, eyes went wide as he felt his heart skips a beat. This voice, this is the same voice as the one who used to talk to him with such gentleness. The same voice of the person he’s trying to forget, and the same voice of the person he was unable to fulfill his promise to. Granted, the voice had grown way deeper than the last time he heard it, but it has the same smooth and melodious tone to it, something that Inoo was never able to forget, even after three whole years. He turned his head to face the direction of the person who called his name, and he was a little bit proud of himself for guessing the right thing. “…Macchan?” He asked. “Why are you here?”
“Paying Kusano a visit?” Although Kohei meant that as an answer, it has somehow sounds like a question. Stepping closer to the grave, he prayed for a few while, with Inoo staring at his back silently. After he’s done, Kohei looked back at Inoo and asked the question that has been bothering him for the last two and a half weeks. “Why didn’t you come to the funeral?”
Inoo looked down, avoiding Kohei’s piercing glance not so discreetly. He could feel guilt welling up from deep within him again. “I… guess I was busy.”
Staring at him for a while, Kohei finally smirked after a few seconds. “Eh~ I guess life is hard for someone who’s already debuted, eh?” Inoo grinned weakly at this. “How’s your group, anyway?”
“It’s enjoyable.” Inoo said quickly, smiling bright when he remembered the time he had with JUMP’s members. They are silly, dorky, but unbelievably friendly and fun to be friend with. Unlike some other groups who took a while to be close with each other, they immediately become all chummy with each other after they met, partly because they already know each other even as juniors. It was tons of fun, albeit the jobs are tiring. “I’m glad I was put into the group.”
Kohei chuckled a bit when he saw the happy expression on his best friend’s face. Although it pains him a bit to know that Inoo’s doing well even without him, that he’s able to forget him and befriend others like how he usually does while he himself is stuck and was never able to forget him, it still cheers him to know that Inoo is doing fine and enjoying his time. “Is that so?”
Noticing the half bitter smile on Kohei’s face, Inoo immediately realize his mistake. “Yeah… what about you?” He said doubtfully.
Shrugging, Kohei responded. “My days are mostly filled with tasks and assignments. It’s annoying, I can’t find time to rest.” After a moment of silence, he noticed that they are not exactly at the proper place to have casual conversation such as this one, and snapped his head up. “You know what Kei? We probably shouldn’t be talking here. The aura is getting creepy.”
Laughing at Kohei’s comment, Inoo is silently thankful that he has no work for today and is able for the whole day. “We should go somewhere then. Puri puri pretty needs to catch up on each other.” Seeing the wide smirk on Kohei’s face, he knows he said the right thing. So both of them immediately stepped out from the graveyard, intending on catching up with each other, making up for the time they spent separately.
---
Present time, 2014
As he run, Inoo could remember that fateful day, where he meets Kohei again after years of each other’s absence. They managed to find time for each other after that, spending as much as they could with each other, immediately becoming as close as they used to be when they were still juniors. Although their meetings are rather random and not as frequent as both wished it to be, they’re still satisfied to be able to meet each other. One thing they make sure to do every year is, however, to visit Kusano’s grave together as a form of both respect and friendship. Unlike others who usually visit at the death’s anniversary, they visit it two and a half weeks after, to memorize the time they met each other and to avoid any crowds. And today is exactly the day. Inoo managed to empty his schedule for the past years, but just his luck, he’s completely late this year. By now, all hopes of meeting Kohei have fade into thin air, since there’s no way Kohei would wait that long for him, right?
…right?
Despite what Hikaru said, Inoo was unable to reach the place within five minutes. But he’s sure he had broken his running record today, since it took him only eight minutes to run there. But again with his luck-someone must have cursed him or something today-it rains in the middle of the way. By the time he reached the graveyard entry, he is already drenched wet, his clothes sticking to his skin persistently, his hair framing his face annoyingly. Catching his breath, he slowly walked in, heading to Kusano’s grave. He stopped midway, however, when he saw a familiar figure, under a wide black umbrella, standing in front of the grave.
Kohei is still waiting for him even after hours…
The boy turned around when he heard sounds of hard breathing, and he was greeted by the sight of a drenched wet Inoo Kei, with eyes as wide as flying saucers, and with an unbelievably messy hair that would probably win this year’s worst hair award. Noticing how hard the younger boy tried to catch his breath, he realized that the messy appearance was probably because he had run here from somewhere to avoid being late any further. A worried expression showed up on his face as Kohei run to Inoo, shielding him with his almighty black umbrella. “Oi, Kei, you’re drenched wet!”
“…Why are you still here?” He said in between deep intakes of breath. He looked at Kohei with his eyes, and Kohei could see an honest curiosity in them.
“Eh?” He asked, staring at Inoo weirdly. “Isn’t it obvious? We promised to meet here, after all.” Kohei explained. “Why are you late anyway?”
After his breath has calmed down a bit, he stared at Kohei weirdly. He expected him to be mad, angry, furious, not smiling happily like this. For God’s sake, he’s more than two hours late now. Isn’t the normal thing to do is to feel disappointed, or angry, or anything? Why the heck is he smiling like a fool then? “I… I texted you that I’ll be late…”
Kohei’s eyes blinked rapidly for a while, until an expression of recognition spread on his picturesque face. “Ah, that’s right. I forgot my phone at home.” He pulled Inoo to the grave and nudged him a little at the ribs. “Now, pay your respects first to Kusano, and then we should get home to get you changed. My apartment is only a few blocks away from here so you can use my clothes first. You’re going to catch a cold if you stay like this.”
He sounds like a worried mother.
He stared at Kohei weirdly again for a while before closing his eyes, clasping his hands together and prayed for Kusano. After a few minutes, he lifts his head up, and Kohei immediately pulled him and they started walking away from the graveyard. Inoo could only stare at Kohei’s face for a while before he mustered up the courage to ask the question. “Why… why did you wait for me?”
“Isn’t it obvious?” Kohei answered after a while, opening the door to his apartment. He could only be glad that Kana is not home yet, or else, she wouldn’t let this matter off. “If it’s you, I’ll wait, even if it takes an eternity.”
And at that time, everything went like a blur to Inoo. Kohei probably already noticed that Inoo is not acting like his usual self, but Inoo couldn’t care less. All he could do is stares at Kohei, blinking furiously, and he could feel his heart beating faster, something that does not usually happen. Oh he knows it all along, that he probably got a small crush on Kohei, but it has never made such a big impact before. Not until now. With his heart beating rapidly like it’s going to fly out of his chest anytime, he finally noticed the thing he’s been running away from all this time. Kohei’s words made him accept the reality fully, and he could finally face it head on.
I love him.
It was probably the rush of the moment, or probably how attractive Kohei’s lips look like now, or maybe the way he couldn’t stand the way Kohei is fussing over his health as he dry his hair like a caring mother, but no matter what the reason is, he’s definitely not going to regret this after. Tugging the sleeve of Kohei’s shirt slightly, he closed the gap between their lips as he Kohei turned around, pulling the older boy closer to him, needing to feel the warmth of the person he loved more to ease the coldness.
It was just an innocent and simple touch of the lips, but it was more than what Inoo needed. They didn’t need to drown themselves under endless waves of passionate lust. Just the fact that they are here for each other is enough for Inoo, and probably, for Kohei too. Hugging Kohei closer to him, he parted their lips, and was glad that Kohei didn’t seem angry-more like, he’s way too pleased with the kiss than he should be. Blushing a little, Inoo scoot closer to Kohei and whispered softly in his ears. “Aishiteru yo, Macchan~”
And his heart was beyond elated when he heard Kohei’s reply, barely audible, as he placed a small kiss on top of Inoo’s forehead.
“I love you too, Kei.”
----A/N: Okay, what. This is my first shouai fic so yeah, this sucks. So many OOCs~ *le cries*. But I guess it’s worth the attempt? LOL. And to make it clear, Inoo said aishiteru in Japanese while cutest and dearest Macchan said it in English, hence why I write aishiteru and I love you. Ugh. This is horrible. Lalala. LALALALALALA.
Author: Me (aidorruuu)
Pairing: Matsumoto Kohei x Inoo Kei
Genre: Friendship, fluff
Rating: PG
Summary: How their relationship slowly evolves from friends, to strangers, to friends, and then finally, to lovers.
A/N: Summary is never my thing, really.
Present time, 2014
Inoo Kei is worried.
Although the interviewer, a middle-aged woman with black hair and thick glasses with a perpetually big grin on her face, didn’t notice how worried he is, he is currently unbearably anxious. He keeps on tapping his shoes against the floor (which attracts the members’ attentions ninety-percent of the time), checking his watch over and over, and even accidentally clicking his tongue rather loudly when he noticed that the interviewer won’t stop asking anytime soon. He could only be silently thanking the Gods up there that she did not hear it, or notice the worry painted on his face.
This is probably one of the biggest torture in his life, to be forced to sit here, in the interview room, somewhere he does not enjoy being in-not for today, at least, pretending that he’s honored to be ask thousands of insignificant questions and fake a smile each passing second when all he wanted to do is just to dash out of this place, doing the things that he should be doing today, the things that are more important to him. It took a lot of self-restraint to not just flee. But he reminds himself in his head every time the thought pass by. This is your job. This is what you have to do. If you run away here, it would leave not only a bad impression, but it might also disappoint your fans, and thus, ruining your whole career. The magazine’s impossible speculations might also cause rumors and scandals alike. You should hold yourself. This is what you have to do. This is exactly what he usually wants you to do.
And so, with all his fighting spirit, he managed to hold his urges. But even so, right after the interviewer claimed that they are (finally) done, he immediately stands from his seat, ignoring the questioning glances the others are throwing him, and rush to pack his things, which are, unfortunately, thrown messily and would definitely take more than a minute to tidy up. Holding back the urge to sigh, he throw his things into his bag messily, not caring the fact that he might break some things inside, and even bothering to check whether the bottle of water he thrown earlier is already properly closed or not. Mumbling under his breath, he stood up, checking his phone to make sure that he could still make it there without being too late.
“You’re acting weird today.” Turning around and lifting his gaze from his phone, Inoo could see Yabu raising an eyebrow at him. “Is everything fine?”
Inoo wanted to shout that no, nothing is fine. The sudden change of the interview schedule is not fine. Still not being on his way there when it’s already two hours pass the time they agreed on is not fine. The fact that his best-friend is not replying to his text message from hours earlier is not fine. Being late on a very special day is definitely not fine. But he knows, throwing a tantrum here, when there’s a risk that someone would be listening to their conversation-the interviewer is still in the room, after all-is even more ‘not-fine’ that what he previously enlisted. It would be dangerous. It can cause a horrible scandal. So after putting that into consideration, he put on a fake grin and answered. “It’s fine~. I’m just a little bit late for something, I guess.”
Hikaru, who have been listening to the conversation and is actually one of the first to notice Inoo’s odd acts, threw him a meaningful nod. “It’s that day today, isn’t it?” When he sees the grin on Inoo’s face fading slightly, he knew that he hit the jackpot. “Say, how late are you anyway?”
Inoo shrugged while walking fast-paced to the exit of the building along with Yabu and Hikaru. Thankfully, they are fast enough to pack their things, so he’s not the only one getting out earlier (since the others are so slow). “Two hours… probably…” looking away from the disbelieving stare his best friends are throwing him, he retaliate. “It’s not like it’s my choice to be this late!”
“You should be glad that it’s only a fifteen minute walk from here.” Yabu shook his head.
“Ten if you run with your normal running pace.” Hikaru continued. “Six to seven minutes if you run like your life depends on it. Considering how much of a special day it is today and how long have you been late, I suggest you run like the whole world’s sake depends on it, which will take only five minutes. So rather than walking here like you’re so free, I suggest you run.”
Hikaru is being serious about this.
And if he is being serious and so out of his usual character, that only means that Inoo is in deep shit.
And so Inoo run.
----
Nine years ago, 2005
“Ne, Macchan…” The fifteen year old Inoo Kei started, staring at his so-called best friend with a hesitating look. Unlike usual, the Ya-Ya-Yah backstage is quiet, with no juniors running amok, preparing for dances. Not even the core members were there. It was silent, with only the two of them inside it. “Are you sure this is the right choice?”
Kohei smiled at him a little, his head nodding. He wanted to give Inoo something other than this. He wanted to assure the younger boy that this is not the end, that he will be fine, that he had thought this over and over before he made the final, and unmistakably ultimate decision. But unfortunately, all Kohei could do was to give him a small, not-so-steady smile, and he hated himself for being so indecisive. Even now, he’s still wavering, especially when he saw the way Inoo’s eyes seems to glimmer with unshed tears. “Why are you so sad anyway?” He stated, ignoring how close Inoo is to him right now and how utterly adorable the boy looks being all hopeless. “It’s not like we wouldn’t be able to meet anymore. Just because I’m quitting Johnny’s doesn’t mean we can’t be friends, right?”
Giving his best-friend his killer pout, Inoo sighed and looked away. Although Kohei had a point, he still doubts that they could be as close as they are now. They could still be friends, surely, but the bond will surely not be this strong. Despite being so inseparable to each other now, they meet each other most at the Jimusho and the Ya-Ya-Yah studio. If Kohei quits, then the time they have with each other will be reduced by a noticeable amount, something that he’s not looking forward to. “Why do you have to quit anyway?”
“There are a lot of things that I want to do,” Kohei started, playing with the ends of his shirt randomly, avoiding the extremely adorable pout Inoo is giving him. “Things that I could not do when I’m here. And I want to focus on my studies first. Being an idol is fun and all, but as you know, you can’t rely on it forever to keep you living.” And I want to properly erase this feeling of liking you as well is what he wanted to add, but that would make him look like a freak, so he stopped himself from saying it. “As you grow older, you get lesser jobs. The fresh image of idols is what they’re looking for, after all.”
Knowing that he could not change his best friend’s decision, he sighed and stay silent, enjoying his last few days of being with him inside the comfort of the silent studio, wishing that this will really not be the end of their friendship.
----Seven years ago, 2007
Unfortunately for both Inoo and Kohei, their wishes didn’t come true.
At first, both tried their best to contact each other, texting each other and phoning at night-the time when they are both free-as best as they could. But after a while, Inoo got more jobs to do, especially after he got into high school. Kohei’s assignments in school made it impossible for them to contact each other. The only time when they talk long enough between the two years was probably when Kusano Hironori, their senior in Johnny’s, was kicked out of the agency at 2006. Both were close to him, since he is a senior to them, and since he’s older, he also taught both a lot of things. The fact that nobody believed him that he didn’t do anything wrong hit him hard, and they tried hard to cheer him up for a while. After a while, however, both notice that their attempts are in vain and continue with their lives.
They ultimately stop contacting each other, however, when Inoo debuted as one of the ten members of Hey! Say! JUMP. With all his works piling up and school projects and personal matters, it has become almost impossible for him to contact Kohei. Slowly but steadily, he starts to forget Kohei. It’s not intentional, but he just couldn’t fit in the time. Each time he accidentally remembers Kohei, he would cringe, hating himself for being such a horrible friend. But really, what could he do? He knows this all along. He knows that there will be a time where they would be unattached from one another. And no matter how hard they tried, they couldn’t really avoid fate, now could they?
And so, their friendship ends slowly and subtly to the world, but hard enough to make an impact for both.
----Present time, 2014
Stepping out from his fairly-sized apartment, Kohei greeted the not-so-clear sky with his brightest smile, even though it’s not exactly the perfect day to be happy. Holding the umbrella in his hand, he used his other one to close the door and locking it. Even if the sky is not bright, or a storm is raging outside, today is the day where he must go there. It is a sacred part for them, a ritual that must never be missed. He was about to walk away to the place of their meeting, until a voice stops him.
“Going somewhere, Matsumoto-kun?” The clear voice of his neighbor and also closest female friend reached his ears as he turns around to face her. Miyazawa Kana, a twenty-four year old doctor in training, has been in the apartment beside his even way from before he moved in. She was merely a college student when he first came. She’s dressed as she usually does when she wanted to go to the hospital for work, her black hair tied up in a neat bun. She’s shorter than him by a few inches, but the heels in her boots made her look way taller than she should be. Her right hand is holding his medium-sized bag, filled with ultimate necessities and medical books. “Meeting up with him?”
He nodded, walking beside her to the station. They’re going to the same direction after all, so it wouldn’t hurt to walk with your friend, right? “Yeah, how did you guess?”
She grinned, nudging his side mischievously. “Of course I’d notice.” Exclaiming that with a hint of pride within her voice, Kana could not stop herself from chuckling a little. “You look a lot neater than you usually look. I’ve been your friend for some years now, I should at least notice these small things.” Throwing him another soft smile, she continued. “You’re sure lucky to be able to meet him a lot, eh? I wish I could be the same…”
Kohei knows that, despite how cheerful and bubbly Kana may look, she’s actually very sensitive when the relationship topics are brought in. Currently in a long distant relationship with her childhood best friend who’s studying in German, she constantly worries and fret about him, wondering whether he’s eating correctly since he tends to overwork himself, or if he just met another girl who is way hotter and richer and more success than her, so Kohei knows that he needs to be careful choosing his words. “We’re not even dating, you know.”
The smirk showed up on her face again as she replied. “But you’d love to, right?”
He just shrugged carelessly, not caring to respond to the question. He doesn’t really know how to answer, anyway. They stayed like that for the whole journey, Kana teasing him and Kohei purposefully avoiding some of her questions. Thankfully, he doesn’t have to go through the torture for too long, since his destination is closer than hers. Hurriedly running to the place, he took a deep breath as he stared at the tombstone before him.
One in the middle of countless amounts of other tombstones in the graveyard, is exactly the place where he must visit every year, to memorize the time they had together as juniors, when he’s still in Johnny’s. The good old times. Reading the name written in Kanji letters there, he could remember his face years ago as a cheerful, hyper, and hilarious member of News.
Kusano Hironori.
Kneeling before the grave, he sent his best regards and prayers to his senior. Opening his eyes after a while, Kohei tilt his head sideways. “Weird…” mumbling, he checked the time and saw that it has pass fifteen minutes from their promised meeting time. “He’s not here yet…” searching for his phone in his pocket, he suddenly remembered that he forgot to bring his phone and left it beside his TV in the apartment. Shrugging, he eyed the tombstone for another second before exclaiming his thoughts. “Well, I guess I just have to wait.”
And so, without knowing the circumstances, Kohei patiently waits.
----
Six years ago, 2008.
The news was a shock to everyone that knows him.
Kusano Hironori, after two years of being kicked out from the Johnny’s, committed suicide at the age of twenty. The news itself was disclosed from the media, but his best-friends heard it from his family. Apparently, the reason why he decided to take his life, was not only because he was kicked out, but also for the framing. He begins to think that no one in this world believes his words, not even his parents, who gaze at him with disappointed eyes each day. His friends, the ones he used to believe so much, turned their backs at him for apparently no particular reason, but Kusano accidentally hear that they did not want to be friends with a loser. It was unbearable, to see the whole world turn their backs at you, and it was impossible for him to cope with. Sooner or later, the burdens, the pain, it became overwhelming, and unable to do anything else, he took the quick escape road and hung himself to run away.
Inoo Kei, who is now having a smooth, debuting career as a member of Hey! Say! JUMP, was hit hard with the news. Even if the press does not know it, even if his fans did not notice, Kusano was one of the closest senior to him. It saddens him, deeply so, to accept the news and go on with his life. He felt guilty, for not being there for his friend when he needs a shoulder to lean on the most. Although unintentionally, he might be one of the worst, for abandoning his friend without another word. As far as he knows it, he might be one of the reasons why Kusano decided to take his life. He was never there when the older man needed him the most. And even worse, he could not come to the funeral ceremony due to the mountainous load of works. The shame of not being able to make time for his friend was too overwhelming, so he did not dare to meet Kusano’s parents for a long while, deciding to pay his late friend a visit only when there is nobody doing so.
Two and a half weeks after the funeral, Inoo finally found time between his hectic schedule, so he decided, better late than never, and visited the graveyard of Kusano. After praying for a few while for him, Inoo stared at the tombstone for a while, swallowing the guilt and the shame as a whole. With each passing second, he’s reminded of the bright smiling face of Kusano, the way he laughs most of the times, his friendliness with both juniors and seniors, and Inoo ended up asking the same question over and over again. Why must such a pure soul be condemned of such thing?
He drowned himself in his thoughts, not moving even a single inch from his position, asking the same question over and over to himself. He was so engrossed with his own thoughts that he did not notice the sounds of footsteps behind him, enclosing the gap between them. Inoo was, however, woken up rudely from his trance due to the voice from behind him. “…Kei?”
Inoo’s head jerked upward, eyes went wide as he felt his heart skips a beat. This voice, this is the same voice as the one who used to talk to him with such gentleness. The same voice of the person he’s trying to forget, and the same voice of the person he was unable to fulfill his promise to. Granted, the voice had grown way deeper than the last time he heard it, but it has the same smooth and melodious tone to it, something that Inoo was never able to forget, even after three whole years. He turned his head to face the direction of the person who called his name, and he was a little bit proud of himself for guessing the right thing. “…Macchan?” He asked. “Why are you here?”
“Paying Kusano a visit?” Although Kohei meant that as an answer, it has somehow sounds like a question. Stepping closer to the grave, he prayed for a few while, with Inoo staring at his back silently. After he’s done, Kohei looked back at Inoo and asked the question that has been bothering him for the last two and a half weeks. “Why didn’t you come to the funeral?”
Inoo looked down, avoiding Kohei’s piercing glance not so discreetly. He could feel guilt welling up from deep within him again. “I… guess I was busy.”
Staring at him for a while, Kohei finally smirked after a few seconds. “Eh~ I guess life is hard for someone who’s already debuted, eh?” Inoo grinned weakly at this. “How’s your group, anyway?”
“It’s enjoyable.” Inoo said quickly, smiling bright when he remembered the time he had with JUMP’s members. They are silly, dorky, but unbelievably friendly and fun to be friend with. Unlike some other groups who took a while to be close with each other, they immediately become all chummy with each other after they met, partly because they already know each other even as juniors. It was tons of fun, albeit the jobs are tiring. “I’m glad I was put into the group.”
Kohei chuckled a bit when he saw the happy expression on his best friend’s face. Although it pains him a bit to know that Inoo’s doing well even without him, that he’s able to forget him and befriend others like how he usually does while he himself is stuck and was never able to forget him, it still cheers him to know that Inoo is doing fine and enjoying his time. “Is that so?”
Noticing the half bitter smile on Kohei’s face, Inoo immediately realize his mistake. “Yeah… what about you?” He said doubtfully.
Shrugging, Kohei responded. “My days are mostly filled with tasks and assignments. It’s annoying, I can’t find time to rest.” After a moment of silence, he noticed that they are not exactly at the proper place to have casual conversation such as this one, and snapped his head up. “You know what Kei? We probably shouldn’t be talking here. The aura is getting creepy.”
Laughing at Kohei’s comment, Inoo is silently thankful that he has no work for today and is able for the whole day. “We should go somewhere then. Puri puri pretty needs to catch up on each other.” Seeing the wide smirk on Kohei’s face, he knows he said the right thing. So both of them immediately stepped out from the graveyard, intending on catching up with each other, making up for the time they spent separately.
---
Present time, 2014
As he run, Inoo could remember that fateful day, where he meets Kohei again after years of each other’s absence. They managed to find time for each other after that, spending as much as they could with each other, immediately becoming as close as they used to be when they were still juniors. Although their meetings are rather random and not as frequent as both wished it to be, they’re still satisfied to be able to meet each other. One thing they make sure to do every year is, however, to visit Kusano’s grave together as a form of both respect and friendship. Unlike others who usually visit at the death’s anniversary, they visit it two and a half weeks after, to memorize the time they met each other and to avoid any crowds. And today is exactly the day. Inoo managed to empty his schedule for the past years, but just his luck, he’s completely late this year. By now, all hopes of meeting Kohei have fade into thin air, since there’s no way Kohei would wait that long for him, right?
…right?
Despite what Hikaru said, Inoo was unable to reach the place within five minutes. But he’s sure he had broken his running record today, since it took him only eight minutes to run there. But again with his luck-someone must have cursed him or something today-it rains in the middle of the way. By the time he reached the graveyard entry, he is already drenched wet, his clothes sticking to his skin persistently, his hair framing his face annoyingly. Catching his breath, he slowly walked in, heading to Kusano’s grave. He stopped midway, however, when he saw a familiar figure, under a wide black umbrella, standing in front of the grave.
Kohei is still waiting for him even after hours…
The boy turned around when he heard sounds of hard breathing, and he was greeted by the sight of a drenched wet Inoo Kei, with eyes as wide as flying saucers, and with an unbelievably messy hair that would probably win this year’s worst hair award. Noticing how hard the younger boy tried to catch his breath, he realized that the messy appearance was probably because he had run here from somewhere to avoid being late any further. A worried expression showed up on his face as Kohei run to Inoo, shielding him with his almighty black umbrella. “Oi, Kei, you’re drenched wet!”
“…Why are you still here?” He said in between deep intakes of breath. He looked at Kohei with his eyes, and Kohei could see an honest curiosity in them.
“Eh?” He asked, staring at Inoo weirdly. “Isn’t it obvious? We promised to meet here, after all.” Kohei explained. “Why are you late anyway?”
After his breath has calmed down a bit, he stared at Kohei weirdly. He expected him to be mad, angry, furious, not smiling happily like this. For God’s sake, he’s more than two hours late now. Isn’t the normal thing to do is to feel disappointed, or angry, or anything? Why the heck is he smiling like a fool then? “I… I texted you that I’ll be late…”
Kohei’s eyes blinked rapidly for a while, until an expression of recognition spread on his picturesque face. “Ah, that’s right. I forgot my phone at home.” He pulled Inoo to the grave and nudged him a little at the ribs. “Now, pay your respects first to Kusano, and then we should get home to get you changed. My apartment is only a few blocks away from here so you can use my clothes first. You’re going to catch a cold if you stay like this.”
He sounds like a worried mother.
He stared at Kohei weirdly again for a while before closing his eyes, clasping his hands together and prayed for Kusano. After a few minutes, he lifts his head up, and Kohei immediately pulled him and they started walking away from the graveyard. Inoo could only stare at Kohei’s face for a while before he mustered up the courage to ask the question. “Why… why did you wait for me?”
“Isn’t it obvious?” Kohei answered after a while, opening the door to his apartment. He could only be glad that Kana is not home yet, or else, she wouldn’t let this matter off. “If it’s you, I’ll wait, even if it takes an eternity.”
And at that time, everything went like a blur to Inoo. Kohei probably already noticed that Inoo is not acting like his usual self, but Inoo couldn’t care less. All he could do is stares at Kohei, blinking furiously, and he could feel his heart beating faster, something that does not usually happen. Oh he knows it all along, that he probably got a small crush on Kohei, but it has never made such a big impact before. Not until now. With his heart beating rapidly like it’s going to fly out of his chest anytime, he finally noticed the thing he’s been running away from all this time. Kohei’s words made him accept the reality fully, and he could finally face it head on.
I love him.
It was probably the rush of the moment, or probably how attractive Kohei’s lips look like now, or maybe the way he couldn’t stand the way Kohei is fussing over his health as he dry his hair like a caring mother, but no matter what the reason is, he’s definitely not going to regret this after. Tugging the sleeve of Kohei’s shirt slightly, he closed the gap between their lips as he Kohei turned around, pulling the older boy closer to him, needing to feel the warmth of the person he loved more to ease the coldness.
It was just an innocent and simple touch of the lips, but it was more than what Inoo needed. They didn’t need to drown themselves under endless waves of passionate lust. Just the fact that they are here for each other is enough for Inoo, and probably, for Kohei too. Hugging Kohei closer to him, he parted their lips, and was glad that Kohei didn’t seem angry-more like, he’s way too pleased with the kiss than he should be. Blushing a little, Inoo scoot closer to Kohei and whispered softly in his ears. “Aishiteru yo, Macchan~”
And his heart was beyond elated when he heard Kohei’s reply, barely audible, as he placed a small kiss on top of Inoo’s forehead.
“I love you too, Kei.”
----A/N: Okay, what. This is my first shouai fic so yeah, this sucks. So many OOCs~ *le cries*. But I guess it’s worth the attempt? LOL. And to make it clear, Inoo said aishiteru in Japanese while cutest and dearest Macchan said it in English, hence why I write aishiteru and I love you. Ugh. This is horrible. Lalala. LALALALALALA.